Chapter One
“I can’t believe we are finally here. I am completely and utterly exhausted, but could not be happier,” Evie, my longtime best friend and now college roommate, said as she threw herself across her freshly made twin bed.
“I know. It’s surreal, isn’t it? I’m almost afraid to go to sleep tonight in fear that I’ll wake up tomorrow morning back at my parent’s house,” I replied as I sat down cross-legged in the chair across the room.
“God, that would be a nightmare.”
“Tell me about it. You aren’t the one that’s had to live with them the last 18 years,” I muttered.
“True, but I have had to live across the street for the last ten and listen to you bitch and moan every day about the prison wardens they are,” she retorted.
Evie was right; without her, I may have gone crazy at some point while dealing with my family. That or run away and joined the circus. Seriously, that would’ve been an upgrade to the life I had while living with my parents. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, it’s not like they ever beat me, or neglected me or really even yelled at me. I never wanted for any material item or for my parent’s attention. It was quite the opposite actually. My parents were so far up my ass that they literally did not allow me to have a life of my own.
The reason my parents treated me the way they did all went back to my older brother, Matt. My parents had Matt right after they had finished college. Both being young attorneys and wanting to climb the corporate ladder, Matt was often left under the supervision of our grandparents who had a hard time saying no, and babysitters that knew as much about child rearing as I do. By the time Matt was a teenager, my parents both had well-established, well-paying jobs as defense attorneys and worked long hours outside the home leaving Matt alone often. Matt became the stereotypical troublemaker. He did lousy in school, got in trouble with the law on several occasions for fighting, alcohol and marijuana possession, and was known for his way with the girls and his numerous one-night stands. I was pretty sure I was my parents attempt to try parenting over again. As bad as it sounded, I think they felt they had failed miserably with Matt and needed a redo to prove to themselves that they could raise as close to a perfect child as possible. I was born when Matt was 16. I was 2 when he left home, so I had no memories of his living with us other than a few random pictures. Thankfully, with time, he had eventually become a successful member of society and worked his way back in my parent’s good graces. He became a middle school teacher and coach along with his wife Meg, who I adore, and they have one daughter, Alyssa. My niece is my little ray of sunshine. I would babysit for her often and loved spending time with her, and spoiling her rotten (or spending time spoiling her rotten). I was definitely the cool aunt and not just because I was the only aunt.
So my parents had me when they were both forty-four, which in my opinion, was way too old to be starting over. My mom decreased her workload drastically so that she could stay home with me and be present at every moment in my life. I still think she’s pissed with God that she wasn’t around when I first got my period. To ensure that I did not turn out anything like Matt, my parents sent me to an all-girl Catholic school for my entire scholastic career, kindergarten through twelfth grade. What I always found so funny about this was we weren’t even Catholic. They filled my evenings with piano and classical guitar lessons, dance lessons, soccer practices and community service. My weekends weren’t much better- when I wasn’t at a recital, performance, or game of some sort, I was at church or playing the piano for the choir. They did everything in their power to sculpt me into their idea of perfection personified, and for the most part, thanks to my non-confrontational, naturally submissive personality, I did exactly as I was told.
But today was the day they finally had to let me go. I had been looking forward to that day for at least the past three years, ever since I realized that kids my age were actually doing fun things while I was studying or practicing something or another. I was finally free of their outrageous and outlandish rules. I knew that I’d never escape their unrealistic and idealistic expectations of me, but now as long as I made good grades and didn’t get in legal or financial trouble, I would never have to live under their roof again.
“Hello! Earth to Scarlett! Are you still with me here?” Evie yelled, shaking me out of my daydream. Or would it be a night dream since it was 11:00 at night? Hmppphh… that was an interesting thought…
“Scarlett, seriously, what the fuck is your problem? You are sitting over there looking like you’re being forced to watch someone shit in your Louboutins,” she spat.
“I don’t own Louboutins, Evie.”
“Humor me…” she said and then a serious look crossed her face. “ You are supposed to be happy… joyful… hell, you should be jumping up and down ecstatic that you are actually going to be able to have a life.”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about how controlling my parents really are and wondering how I’ve managed to survive until now,” I confessed.
“Controlling?!? That’s like saying that Lindsey Lohan has a minor drug problem or that Charles Manson might have been a psychopath. Elizabeth and David are nuts and I’m still not sure how you’ve managed not to go postal on them until yesterday. And I’m still surprised they ever let you be friends with me.”
“It’s only because they could see your house from our front window,” I said somewhat embarrassed because we both knew that was the truth. “And I think they are still in shock over my standing up to them,” I continued as I thought back to the day prior when I had told them I was an adult and was making a clean break from them. I was finally taking control of my life; I’d be making all of my own decisions, and whether those decisions were right or wrong, good or bad, I could and would live with the consequences because they were MY choices. I didn’t mean for the conversation to be hurtful or ugly ~ I told them I appreciated everything that they had done for me, all that they had sacrificed for me to have the life I had, and how much I loved them for that. I had also told them I understood why they tried so hard to protect and shield me from… well, everything really. But when it was clear that they were not listening to a word I said and told me they expected to be in my dorm room by 10:00 PM on school nights and midnight on the weekends, I lost it. Truth be told, I went bat-shit crazy. After all of the screaming and crying, we resolved nothing. They thought I was acting immature and unappreciative and told me to get ready for a huge wake-up call when the real world wasn’t what I expected it to be. I thought they were unreasonable and irrational, and that they expected me to live in some ridiculous bubble forever. It still made my stomach hurt to think about it; I had actually vomited several times during the argument because I was so upset. Thankfully, Evie and her parents allowed me to stay at their home for our last night in San Antonio, because I could not spend one more night under my parents’ roof, or their rule ~ I was done. Evie could not believe it when I showed up on her doorstep with my puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She had told me no less than one hundred times in the last twenty four hours how proud of me she was for standing up for myself, but I was still upset about how the whole thing went down.
Evie and I had become friends when our parents bought houses across the street from one another in a newly constructed neighborhood the summer before third grade. Our parents were always cordial with one another but they were never friends that hung out together. My parents were older, extremely conservative, and so involved in my life, they forgot to have one of their own. Evie’s parents were quite the opposite.
Her mom was from Japan. She had come to the U.S. for college which is where she met Evie’s father, who was also studying abroad in the United States, he was originally from Australia. They could not have looked any less like a couple that belonged with one another, but they were so cute when they were together. She was tiny, maybe five feet tall and a size 0, with dark hair and eyes, where Evie’s dad stood well over six feet and donned curly blonde hair and sky blue eyes. Even after twenty plus years, they flirted with one another, had date nights regularly, and really seemed to still be in love. Evie hated when they engaged in their playful, sexy banter around the house, but I didn’t mind it. My parents would never allow me to hear them even suggest something in a sexual manner. They had kept me away from the male population as much as they possibly could, short of sending me to a convent. My brother and I, or old age, or something must’ve done a number on their relationship because they seemed to have no chemistry or passion for one another as far as I could tell. I’m surprised that my dad stayed inside my mom long enough to ensure my conception to be quite honest. I am still not convinced that my two X chromosomes weren’t magically mated in a petri dish in a doctor’s office. But at the very least, I can guarantee you that the sexual encounter was not by chance, it was most definitely penciled in on their schedules. These people were obsessed with calendars and schedules… you really have no idea.
So my family moved in across the way just several weeks after Evie, whose real name was Evelyn Rose, and her family had relocated to San Antonio from California. We were both 8 years old, separated by only a few months, and we immediately became the best of friends. We liked to play the same games, listen to the same music, and we both loved to read. We would spend hours at each other’s houses reading the same book so that we could discuss it as we went. It was almost as if we had formed our own little mini-book club long before we knew what one was. At the end of that first summer of knowing each other, we were devastated to find out we wouldn’t be going to the same school. I would continue at St. Helens in the city and Evie would attend the local public school. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the public schools where we lived, in fact they had won numerous achievement recognition awards for their national test scores; however, my parents would not even consider letting me attend there. I remember asking one time if I could go to school where Evie went. I was told no and that we would never discuss it again. So we didn’t.
As we grew up, Evie and I stayed close despite the fact that we had different school friends and were involved in different activities. We were both very smart and were at the top of our class from elementary school on. In high school Evie became very popular at her school and developed quite the social life. It was really no wonder seeing how she was gorgeous, brilliant, and a sincerely nice person. Evie and I talked on the phone every night before we went to bed, filling each other in on the day’s events. The conversations were usually heavily weighted on Evie’s contributions since I had no social life to speak of. I didn’t mind though, I lived vicariously through her since it was the best I was going to get. We still spent several nights a week at each other’s houses and still read at least one book a week together. Because we had read so many books, and starting about eighth grade most of them had been romance novels, we had felt we were well prepared entering high school for immature boys that thought only with their dicks and caddy teenage girls that were willing to cheat, lie and steal to climb the social hierarchy. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to interact with too many high school boys and never allowed myself to get caught up in the estrogen possessed drama that took place at my school. Evie, on the other hand, just couldn’t avoid it. She made the mistake once of falling head over heels for a boy at her school during sophomore year. He was the typical high school jock that everyone treated as a deity. Evie soon found out that he lived up to that rich athlete stereotype so precisely captured in all of our books ~ cocky, self-centered, and a cheating scumbag. After that, she never allowed herself to get emotionally attached to any one guy, but often dated and had her share of sexual escapades with both high school and local college boys.
“I can’t believe we are finally here. I am completely and utterly exhausted, but could not be happier,” Evie, my longtime best friend and now college roommate, said as she threw herself across her freshly made twin bed.
“I know. It’s surreal, isn’t it? I’m almost afraid to go to sleep tonight in fear that I’ll wake up tomorrow morning back at my parent’s house,” I replied as I sat down cross-legged in the chair across the room.
“God, that would be a nightmare.”
“Tell me about it. You aren’t the one that’s had to live with them the last 18 years,” I muttered.
“True, but I have had to live across the street for the last ten and listen to you bitch and moan every day about the prison wardens they are,” she retorted.
Evie was right; without her, I may have gone crazy at some point while dealing with my family. That or run away and joined the circus. Seriously, that would’ve been an upgrade to the life I had while living with my parents. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, it’s not like they ever beat me, or neglected me or really even yelled at me. I never wanted for any material item or for my parent’s attention. It was quite the opposite actually. My parents were so far up my ass that they literally did not allow me to have a life of my own.
The reason my parents treated me the way they did all went back to my older brother, Matt. My parents had Matt right after they had finished college. Both being young attorneys and wanting to climb the corporate ladder, Matt was often left under the supervision of our grandparents who had a hard time saying no, and babysitters that knew as much about child rearing as I do. By the time Matt was a teenager, my parents both had well-established, well-paying jobs as defense attorneys and worked long hours outside the home leaving Matt alone often. Matt became the stereotypical troublemaker. He did lousy in school, got in trouble with the law on several occasions for fighting, alcohol and marijuana possession, and was known for his way with the girls and his numerous one-night stands. I was pretty sure I was my parents attempt to try parenting over again. As bad as it sounded, I think they felt they had failed miserably with Matt and needed a redo to prove to themselves that they could raise as close to a perfect child as possible. I was born when Matt was 16. I was 2 when he left home, so I had no memories of his living with us other than a few random pictures. Thankfully, with time, he had eventually become a successful member of society and worked his way back in my parent’s good graces. He became a middle school teacher and coach along with his wife Meg, who I adore, and they have one daughter, Alyssa. My niece is my little ray of sunshine. I would babysit for her often and loved spending time with her, and spoiling her rotten (or spending time spoiling her rotten). I was definitely the cool aunt and not just because I was the only aunt.
So my parents had me when they were both forty-four, which in my opinion, was way too old to be starting over. My mom decreased her workload drastically so that she could stay home with me and be present at every moment in my life. I still think she’s pissed with God that she wasn’t around when I first got my period. To ensure that I did not turn out anything like Matt, my parents sent me to an all-girl Catholic school for my entire scholastic career, kindergarten through twelfth grade. What I always found so funny about this was we weren’t even Catholic. They filled my evenings with piano and classical guitar lessons, dance lessons, soccer practices and community service. My weekends weren’t much better- when I wasn’t at a recital, performance, or game of some sort, I was at church or playing the piano for the choir. They did everything in their power to sculpt me into their idea of perfection personified, and for the most part, thanks to my non-confrontational, naturally submissive personality, I did exactly as I was told.
But today was the day they finally had to let me go. I had been looking forward to that day for at least the past three years, ever since I realized that kids my age were actually doing fun things while I was studying or practicing something or another. I was finally free of their outrageous and outlandish rules. I knew that I’d never escape their unrealistic and idealistic expectations of me, but now as long as I made good grades and didn’t get in legal or financial trouble, I would never have to live under their roof again.
“Hello! Earth to Scarlett! Are you still with me here?” Evie yelled, shaking me out of my daydream. Or would it be a night dream since it was 11:00 at night? Hmppphh… that was an interesting thought…
“Scarlett, seriously, what the fuck is your problem? You are sitting over there looking like you’re being forced to watch someone shit in your Louboutins,” she spat.
“I don’t own Louboutins, Evie.”
“Humor me…” she said and then a serious look crossed her face. “ You are supposed to be happy… joyful… hell, you should be jumping up and down ecstatic that you are actually going to be able to have a life.”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about how controlling my parents really are and wondering how I’ve managed to survive until now,” I confessed.
“Controlling?!? That’s like saying that Lindsey Lohan has a minor drug problem or that Charles Manson might have been a psychopath. Elizabeth and David are nuts and I’m still not sure how you’ve managed not to go postal on them until yesterday. And I’m still surprised they ever let you be friends with me.”
“It’s only because they could see your house from our front window,” I said somewhat embarrassed because we both knew that was the truth. “And I think they are still in shock over my standing up to them,” I continued as I thought back to the day prior when I had told them I was an adult and was making a clean break from them. I was finally taking control of my life; I’d be making all of my own decisions, and whether those decisions were right or wrong, good or bad, I could and would live with the consequences because they were MY choices. I didn’t mean for the conversation to be hurtful or ugly ~ I told them I appreciated everything that they had done for me, all that they had sacrificed for me to have the life I had, and how much I loved them for that. I had also told them I understood why they tried so hard to protect and shield me from… well, everything really. But when it was clear that they were not listening to a word I said and told me they expected to be in my dorm room by 10:00 PM on school nights and midnight on the weekends, I lost it. Truth be told, I went bat-shit crazy. After all of the screaming and crying, we resolved nothing. They thought I was acting immature and unappreciative and told me to get ready for a huge wake-up call when the real world wasn’t what I expected it to be. I thought they were unreasonable and irrational, and that they expected me to live in some ridiculous bubble forever. It still made my stomach hurt to think about it; I had actually vomited several times during the argument because I was so upset. Thankfully, Evie and her parents allowed me to stay at their home for our last night in San Antonio, because I could not spend one more night under my parents’ roof, or their rule ~ I was done. Evie could not believe it when I showed up on her doorstep with my puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She had told me no less than one hundred times in the last twenty four hours how proud of me she was for standing up for myself, but I was still upset about how the whole thing went down.
Evie and I had become friends when our parents bought houses across the street from one another in a newly constructed neighborhood the summer before third grade. Our parents were always cordial with one another but they were never friends that hung out together. My parents were older, extremely conservative, and so involved in my life, they forgot to have one of their own. Evie’s parents were quite the opposite.
Her mom was from Japan. She had come to the U.S. for college which is where she met Evie’s father, who was also studying abroad in the United States, he was originally from Australia. They could not have looked any less like a couple that belonged with one another, but they were so cute when they were together. She was tiny, maybe five feet tall and a size 0, with dark hair and eyes, where Evie’s dad stood well over six feet and donned curly blonde hair and sky blue eyes. Even after twenty plus years, they flirted with one another, had date nights regularly, and really seemed to still be in love. Evie hated when they engaged in their playful, sexy banter around the house, but I didn’t mind it. My parents would never allow me to hear them even suggest something in a sexual manner. They had kept me away from the male population as much as they possibly could, short of sending me to a convent. My brother and I, or old age, or something must’ve done a number on their relationship because they seemed to have no chemistry or passion for one another as far as I could tell. I’m surprised that my dad stayed inside my mom long enough to ensure my conception to be quite honest. I am still not convinced that my two X chromosomes weren’t magically mated in a petri dish in a doctor’s office. But at the very least, I can guarantee you that the sexual encounter was not by chance, it was most definitely penciled in on their schedules. These people were obsessed with calendars and schedules… you really have no idea.
So my family moved in across the way just several weeks after Evie, whose real name was Evelyn Rose, and her family had relocated to San Antonio from California. We were both 8 years old, separated by only a few months, and we immediately became the best of friends. We liked to play the same games, listen to the same music, and we both loved to read. We would spend hours at each other’s houses reading the same book so that we could discuss it as we went. It was almost as if we had formed our own little mini-book club long before we knew what one was. At the end of that first summer of knowing each other, we were devastated to find out we wouldn’t be going to the same school. I would continue at St. Helens in the city and Evie would attend the local public school. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the public schools where we lived, in fact they had won numerous achievement recognition awards for their national test scores; however, my parents would not even consider letting me attend there. I remember asking one time if I could go to school where Evie went. I was told no and that we would never discuss it again. So we didn’t.
As we grew up, Evie and I stayed close despite the fact that we had different school friends and were involved in different activities. We were both very smart and were at the top of our class from elementary school on. In high school Evie became very popular at her school and developed quite the social life. It was really no wonder seeing how she was gorgeous, brilliant, and a sincerely nice person. Evie and I talked on the phone every night before we went to bed, filling each other in on the day’s events. The conversations were usually heavily weighted on Evie’s contributions since I had no social life to speak of. I didn’t mind though, I lived vicariously through her since it was the best I was going to get. We still spent several nights a week at each other’s houses and still read at least one book a week together. Because we had read so many books, and starting about eighth grade most of them had been romance novels, we had felt we were well prepared entering high school for immature boys that thought only with their dicks and caddy teenage girls that were willing to cheat, lie and steal to climb the social hierarchy. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to interact with too many high school boys and never allowed myself to get caught up in the estrogen possessed drama that took place at my school. Evie, on the other hand, just couldn’t avoid it. She made the mistake once of falling head over heels for a boy at her school during sophomore year. He was the typical high school jock that everyone treated as a deity. Evie soon found out that he lived up to that rich athlete stereotype so precisely captured in all of our books ~ cocky, self-centered, and a cheating scumbag. After that, she never allowed herself to get emotionally attached to any one guy, but often dated and had her share of sexual escapades with both high school and local college boys.
