Midnight Jewel
Page 88

   “I’m so excited,” Tamsin told me as we prepared for the Doyle party. She’d required almost no alterations to fit into Heloise’s clothes and looked stunning in a celadon silk gown that bared her shoulders. “This must be old to you by now, but being able to wear something like this feels like a dream after those shabby things they put us in.”
   For me, the dream was still just having her back. I’d often find myself watching her and wondering if I’d suddenly blink and find her gone again. More and more pieces of what had happened to them had leaked out from the other girls. Along with the Grashond settlers, they’d apparently encountered Icori, Lorandian traders, and Balanquans while waiting for warmer weather to travel in. Tamsin occasionally offered up tidbits but otherwise remained reticent about her adventures.
   Her return was pretty much the only thing that could distract me from constantly moping over the fallout with Grant. I still did plenty of it, of course. He’d had such a central role in my life, and now, he was gone. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore them, little and unexpected things would remind me of him. Some weren’t so subtle, though. It was impossible not to think of him when I choked down a bitter herbal mixture twice a day that I’d “borrowed” from the stash Mistress Culpepper kept around for newly married girls. It was one of a number of concoctions our Female Studies book recommended for preventing pregnancy. It was also, from what I’d heard, the worst tasting, but that was a small price to pay in order to keep my life from becoming even more chaotic.
   “You look beautiful, but you don’t have to go out so soon,” I told Tamsin. “No one would blame you if you wanted to recover after all that hardship.”
   “The only hardship I’ve faced is wasting five weeks that could’ve been spent looking for a husband.” She paused to tuck in a minuscule strand of hair that had crept out of her updo. “I could’ve been married by now. I should’ve been married by now. That’s what I came here for—not trekking through a frozen wasteland.”
   We heard a call outside our room that it was time to go to the coaches. I touched Tamsin’s arm before she walked out. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here.” It took a great deal of effort for me to say that. I too understood wanting to keep pain locked in—and how it could eat you up.
   Her fierce expression melted into a smile. “I know you are. And I’m here too if you want to talk. I can tell Adelaide’s not the only one with problems.” The smile diminished, growing sad now. “I should’ve been here to keep you both in line. I . . . I never should’ve gotten on the other ship.”
   “It’s in the past. You’re safe, and you’re back. Let’s go to your first party.”
 

   She was right that our social life had become old for me. Seeing her face when we stepped into the Doyle mansion reminded me just how truly indifferent I was now. She asked to be introduced to Warren, and I was happy to oblige. I wanted an excuse to speak with him as well. Even though I’d cut myself off from the case, it was hard not to pursue leads in the conspiracy. With Adelaide out of the picture, I hoped he’d finally start talking to another girl.    And he did. Tamsin.
   To be fair, she was such a powerful force that it was hard for anyone else to steal the scene from her. The two girls she’d tied with had been on the Gray Gull, and they too had been eager to jump back into the Glittering Court. They’d immediately honed in on Warren, but Tamsin captured his attention so well, they never stood a chance. That meant I didn’t either, but I stayed after they drifted away because there was still information I might glean. He was happy to tell her all about Hadisen, but most of his talk was about its gold. There still seemed to be no indication that any of his supplies had been stolen by the traitors’ cause.
   The most difficult part of the evening turned out to be avoiding Cornelius and Lavinia Chambers. They’d accepted my decision to wait to marry Rupert but never missed a chance to talk about their amazing family and lifestyle.
   “We’re redoing the conservatory,” Lavinia bragged. “Gorgeous upholstery, straight from Lorandy. And I want to fill it with sculptures from all over the world. It’ll be our own little museum, with nothing else in Denham to match it.”
   Cornelius nodded along eagerly, and I smiled appropriately, relieved when someone else finally called them away. A low, dull ache remained in my ankle, but it was vastly improved compared to what it had once been, and I was able to accept a few dances. But although my body caught every beat perfectly, my mind was far away. Grant sneaked into my thoughts a lot. I replayed much of what had happened in bed—before we started talking, at least—and although I still felt a thrill in remembering each part, its loss didn’t bother me nearly so much as the simple loss of Grant.
   After breakfast the next morning, Aiana beckoned me over as I left the dining room. I stepped aside and waited for the Grashond visitors to move past me. They were staying on for a while but always dined separately.
   “I have to take Adelaide into the city to help outfit her for Hadisen,” Aiana told me. “Do you want to come along? Tamsin is. You’ve all got the afternoon free.”
   “Sure,” I said glumly.
   She cocked her head and eyed me. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be overjoyed to have Tamsin back.”
   “I am, I am. But . . .” I studied her face for any indication that she might know what had happened the night of the Flower Fest. She and Grant were close . . . but how close? He didn’t seem like the confiding type. “Have you talked to Grant recently?”
   “No, why?”
   “We . . . well, I’m not working for him anymore. I’ve really been cut off. Silas never thought it was a good idea.”
   Her voice grew compassionate. “Neither did I. I know you liked the adventure of it all, but this is for the best. Look, when we find some time, I’ll teach you the Balanquan crossbow. Maybe that’ll make your life feel a little more daring.”