Mine to Hold
Page 32

Soon, her gasps became sobs. She tightened under him, around him, moving recklessly with him, taking him completely. There was nothing between them now but shared breaths, passion, heartbeats, unspoken emotion, and the glittering promise of satisfaction.
“Give it to me, angel. Come for me.”
She shook her head. “It’s too big. It’s going to wipe me out.”
“I’ll be here for you,” he crooned. “Give yourself to me.”
He pushed into her again. With every breath, he got behind each thrust. He poured everything he felt into her, held nothing back. Against his hand, her clit hardened unbearably. She stood at the edge of the cliff and held her breath, just waiting for the right touch, the perfect penetration. Tyler was right there with her, feeling the electric tingle of orgasm brewing in his balls, everything inside him gripping, coiling. Motherfucker, this was going to be huge.
“Now!” he demanded.
And he plowed into her hard, deep, fast, no stopping, no holding back, no mercy.
Under him, Del cried out, a guttural moan that sounded torn from her chest. She jolted, shuddered, and clamped down on him in a long, strong pull of muscles around his cock that sent him hurtling into a pleasure so intense, Tyler couldn’t hear anything but the roaring of his heart. The switch flipped inside him, and he unleashed the last of his restraint, releasing jet after jet of semen. Spots danced before his eyes, and his entire body stiffened as he emptied everything he had and was inside her.
Finally, he found his ability to breathe. His mind kicked back online a few seconds later, and he found Del shuddering and sobbing underneath him.
Fear kicking him, he gingerly withdrew and threw the condom in the nearest bin. Then he rolled Del into his arms and looked down at her with a frown of worry. She wasn’t hurt, but her blue eyes were a sea of pleading. Tears ran down her cheeks.
“Tyler . . .” She clasped her arms around his neck.
“Angel.” He scooped her against him and held her tight.
He’d undone her utterly. Now he had to put her back together.
Still struggling to get his breath under control, he fused their lips together and let her have all the emotion roiling around inside him. The sated exhaustion, the reverence of a man who knew he’d been blessed by someone special, the silent promise to love and protect her, the determination to never let her go.
Beneath him, she opened and accepted. Everything he gave, she took, then gave back all that was in her heart: her confusion that he’d stripped her so bare, her fear that it meant more to her than him, her gratitude for giving her a pleasure so profound there weren’t words to express it. And love. Yeah, there it was. Under all the complicated tangle of flavors in her kiss, there was the grim acceptance he’d been looking for. She wasn’t ready to trust him totally with her heart yet. But she was going to roll the dice with him, give herself, and hope that he didn’t let her down.
Now, maybe, they had a chance.
***
THIRTY minutes and a long, hot bath later, Tyler deposited her back in the bed. As he held her in the silence, she felt the gravity of the moment. If he’d meant this afternoon to be a bonding experience, he’d succeeded. Even now, she could still feel him deep inside her, where no man had been, laying claim to her body. She could still feel the avalanche of pleasure burying her. And as she lay across the bed and curled up beside him, she could feel the care in his touch.
And Del was forced to admit that Tyler had real feelings for her, more than she’d believed him capable of.
So, what came next?
“You’re thinking too hard,” Tyler whispered. “Just . . . let it be.”
Del winced. She’d always tried too hard to plan her future, know where every path in front of her was leading. Age and wisdom had taught her that sometimes that just wasn’t possible. Now was one of those times. But it still frustrated her.
“Why? You forced me to feel.”
“Because we’re a team. We’re fighting Carlson together. We’re Seth’s parents. We’re lovers. I want more, and I think you do, too. We owe it to ourselves to be honest. You were hiding.”
“Of course I have feelings for you. I’d think that would be obvious. I trusted you with our son, with my life, with all my secrets. I tried to keep the rest to myself. The you I knew two years ago would have never wanted more than that.”
“Time away from you has made me see things differently. I lost you once. Not happening again.”
She absorbed his vow in shock. He really, really meant that. “Tyler, what’s this about? You care, but it’s not like you’re in love with me.”
“You sure about that?” His green stare burned into her, daring her to disagree. If she did, he was fully prepared for another battle that would be just as wholly and ruthlessly waged as the last one.
Del hesitated. If he’d challenged her on this subject yesterday, even an hour ago, she would have confidently said that whatever Tyler might be feeling was temporary. Now . . . He hadn’t merely had anal sex with her; he’d told her with his body how much he wanted to be with her, to claim her and make her his. And now he was saying it out loud. Maybe . . . maybe he did love her, at least a little.
Was she ready for that?
Her breath caught. A part of her desperately wanted to believe him. The rest of her was scared shitless.
He sighed and held her tightly. “I get that you’re gun-shy. I’m asking you to believe something that would have seemed impossible two years ago. After all this time apart, your bitter divorce, becoming Seth’s mom alone . . . I get it. But if you care for me at all, can’t you take a chance on me? If you don’t, won’t you always wonder ‘what if’?”
Tyler had her there. Del remembered all the months she’d been pregnant and wondered what Tyler would have thought of her expanding body, of the fact the life he’d planted there was growing inside of her. She remembered all the nights she’d stayed awake with Seth when he was an infant, and she’d wondered if Tyler would be proud of their son. She’d yearned for the man’s love and approval then. Nothing had changed—except that she’d grown comfortable with this icy, walled-off heart beating in her chest.
Staying frozen was safe; was it really going to make her happy?
She clasped her hand in his. “You’re right. I just need time.”
Tyler hesitated, then folded her against his body, trying to smile. “All right. Since I have you here, whatever shall we do?”
Chapter Fourteen
AFTER a quick shower, they made love again, once by the bedroom window overlooking the city as the sun went down. Then again, as they slipped into the pool after dusk and looked at the lights of L.A. glittering like somewhere far away and magical. Xander’s “little place” became their paradise. They fed one another tidbits out of the refrigerator, opened a bottle of very expensive champagne and drank it, then fell into bed together again and gorged on the love growing between them, hour by hour, minute by minute.
Tyler was almost afraid to hope. Del had been through a lot in the last two years, largely because he’d been thinking with his hurt, not his heart. He’d heeded her dismissal and walked away from her. Now, he planned to stay right by her side, no matter what she said or did.
As their breathing returned to normal, he wrapped his arms around her and let her melt on top of him, brushing his hand down her spine.
“Tell me about Seth, angel.” He pressed a kiss to her swollen mouth. “I’ve missed so much. I want to hear everything.”
She blinked down at him, frozen.
Tyler rolled over, putting her beneath him. “I’m not going to hurt him or take him from you. I just want to know about him.”
A moment later, she relaxed and nodded. “I know. I’ve just been his only protector for so long . . .”
“I’ll keep him safe now, too. I’d lay down my life to do it. I love him.”
She frowned, seemingly puzzled. “I know you’ll protect him. That’s who you are. But you barely know him.”
“I felt the bond right away. He’s my son. Our son. That means everything to me.”
She sent him a tremulous smile that made everything in his chest tighten and ache. She wanted to believe . . . and she was afraid. It was frustrating, but not surprising. Eric had done a hell of a number on her. But, God, she had no idea how hard and fast he had fallen for her again. And he was falling deeper still. No stopping it.
“Seth was born almost two weeks early, on Valentine’s Day. It was cold that day, rainy. I’d left work early to meet Eric so we could sign the papers giving him my half of the house.”
“Where’d he get the money?” Eric had often complained about being broke.
She shrugged. “He got some settlement from the department for getting shot. I’m sure his parents gave him the rest.”
Probably so. To the parents of a big Italian family, their only son could do no wrong, and Mr. Catalano had done pretty well in the restaurant business.
“Go on.” Tyler prompted.
“I hadn’t been feeling right all day long. I’d had faint contractions since the middle of the night, which wasn’t unusual. But I was tired and feeling really . . . down. I wondered if this was the last time I’d see Eric, and I’d hoped we could be civil. But he hadn’t seen me in almost three months, and now I was so pregnant that he couldn’t ignore it. He took one look at me, and his eyes got so cold.”
Tyler squeezed her hand. “Fuck him. Get back to Seth.”
“Just after we signed the papers, my water broke. I couldn’t afford an ambulance, but I couldn’t drive. Eric took me to the hospital. I think he knew then how afraid I was, and he stayed with me. I dilated pretty quickly, then stalled out at six centimeters for a while. I was exhausted, but I’ll always be grateful to Eric for staying there to feed me ice chips and massage my aching muscles.”
Yeah, he probably owed Eric some gratitude, too, if he’d made Del’s time giving birth to Seth a better experience. But that took a big person, one capable of a lot of forgiveness. Tyler wasn’t sure he had that in him just now, not mere hours after Eric had handcuffed him to the refrigerator with every intention of raping Del and making him watch.
“Anyway,” Del went on. “The doctor came in at about ten that night when I started dilating again. After that, they administered an epidural, and Seth with born just after one in the morning.”
“I’ll bet you were exhausted.”
“Yeah.” Tears filled her eyes. “But I’ll never forget hearing his first cry. It was a healthy wail, so loud that it made the doctors laugh. I heard one of the nurses say that he was just beautiful. They weighed and measured him, eight pounds, four ounces, and twenty-two inches. Then they laid him on my chest.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “I felt so complete. I felt as if God—and you—had given me this beautiful boy to help reward me for all the dark days I’d been through.”
And he’d missed every bit of that. He hadn’t heard his son’s first cry, hadn’t been able to hold Del’s hand as she’d pushed their son into the world. He’d missed Seth’s first tooth, his first steps . . . all because Eric had contrived to keep them apart. Tyler’s own hurt had been too great to swallow his pride and follow Del. Yeah, he was furious with Eric. But he was angry with himself most of all.
“What kind of infant was he?” He brushed damp tendrils of hair from her flushed cheek.
She smiled, and Tyler was sure she’d never been more beautiful to him. It was like a kick in the gut, and with every passing moment, he knew he belonged with this woman. He had to convince her somehow that he wasn’t her past coming back to haunt her but that her future had finally arrived. He had to convince her that he wasn’t going to turn on her, change on her. That she could trust him.
“Hungry.” She laughed. “He ate constantly. I breast-fed as much as I could, but it wasn’t enough for him, so I augmented with bottles. He was so healthy and big. He weighed nearly thirty pounds at his one-year well visit. He’s always at the top of the height and weight charts. And smart. Just a few weeks ago, he figured out how to open the drawers to my desk and climb up to get to the jar of chocolates I keep there. I came back into the room from doing laundry and found him sitting on the desk, the jar empty, and chocolate smeared all over his face.”
Tyler laughed. According to his own mom, he’d been a bundle of mischief, too. He wished he could prove to her that he could, in fact, be the kind of husband and father who stayed. When this danger was behind them, maybe . . . he’d contact her, tell her that she was a grandmother, see if she wanted to meet Seth. But for now, he had to let her bitterness go. Her words no longer had the power to hurt or haunt him.
“Was it very hard trying to take care of him by yourself?”
Del hesitated, closed her eyes. Then she sent him one of those too-bright smiles, and he knew she intended to put a cheerful spin on the topic.