More Than Forever
Page 49

Now, we're on our way back from Logan's house. His dad answered the door looking worse than I'd ever seen him. He said that Logan had been locked up in the pool house since he got out of the hospital. He hasn't left, and he hasn't spoken to anyone. He told us to try, but also pleaded that we leave him alone if he didn't answer. He said it was best if no one pushed him, and that Logan just needed time. Logan didn't answer when we knocked. We didn't expect him to.
Cam squeezes my hand to get my attention. He glances at me quickly from the driver's seat of his Delorean. "You wanna stay at the cabin tonight? We can drive back early tomorrow for work. I think we just need to be away from the rest of the world for a bit."
I nod in agreement. "I think that sounds perfect."
***
He taps his finger on the side of my head. "What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"
I don't know how long we've been in bed, lying side my side, looking into each other's eyes. We haven't spoken a word, but that doesn't mean we haven't been communicating.
"I'm trying to understand it," I tell him.
"Understand what?"
I sigh and touch my forehead to his. "I don't get why such bad things keep happening to good people. First Micky and her family, and now Logan and Amanda. And I get that he wanted to keep his past a secret, I understand that, but I don't know why he won't talk to anyone now. I thought we were friends."
He runs his hand under my shirt and onto my back, where he rubs slow circles. "I wouldn't take it personal, Luce. I mean we're best friends. We grew up together, and he never told me either. Maybe I should have been a better friend to him, I don't know. I guess the only thing we can take from it is that life's short. Too short to be thinking that forever's always gonna be there."
I pull back slightly and lift my eyes to his, knowing that he's already watching me. I reach up and move his scruffy hair away from his eyes, then run the back of my fingers across the rough growth on his face, remembering what it was like when we were fifteen and he never had to worry about shaving.
His eyes drift shut at my touch, and when he opens them, they're filled with so much emotion, so much need, so much of him. He clears his throat before speaking, "Sometimes I wish I could be back here, back to this cabin when we were in high school and had no worries in the world. When we spent every second of every day together, and it was just you and me. Before the pressure, before college, before scholarships and work and life."
"Just you and me and our forever?"
"Yeah, baby." He kisses me once. "I love you, Luce. More than I ever thought possible." His eyes begin to glaze, but he blinks it away. "Let's never let the bad things in our lives outweigh the good."
"Does it ever scare you?" I ask him.
"What?"
"That we live too much for each other. Do you ever wonder what would happen if anything—"
"Shut up," he whispers, cutting me off. "I'm going to make love to you now, and we're going to forget that you just said that."
So that's what he does—makes love to me.
And I do. I forget. I forget everything else in the entire world—because he is my entire world.
-CAMERON-
With classes, studying, work at the firm and work at the store, I've barely had time to see Lucy. We do our best to sleep in the same bed at night, but even that's becoming a struggle. I'm barely awake through all of it, which is why it's kind of cool that Roxy is around to keep me in check. "Are you dying?" she says, pulling up a chair and sitting next to me in class.
I laugh once, drop my pencil and turn to her. "What the hell?"
She shrugs. "You've been missing a few classes lately and you missed a day at work the other day. Also, and please don't be offended, but you look like ass."
"I have a lot going on." I stretch my arms and yawn loudly.
"Yeah?" She rests her forearms on the desk and leans closer. I look away when my eyes catch way too much cleavage. "Anything I can help with?"
Shaking my head, I answer, "No. Just stuff with my best friend, and just all this other shit is getting on top of me. I don't have time to relax, and I have to keep my grades up or they can withdraw my scholarship, and Lucy—"
"Is she bugging you to always spend time with her? Does she not understand?"
My eyes narrow. "No. That's not it at all. She gets it... I think. It's both of us, really. We both want to be with each other but it's happening less and less and I think that it's throwing me off balance. She keeps me grounded, but it's harder now..."
She smiles a sympathetic smile. "Is there something you can cut out to free up some time?"
I can't help but laugh. "No, there's nothing. I need to do it all. I need to work at the firm or I have to find a way to pay for this education. I need a job, so that I can eat. I need to eat to live. And I need to live to see Lucy."
She smiles, that same smile from only seconds ago. "Sounds like you do it all for Lucy."
I roll my eyes. "I do everything for Lucy."
"Huh," she says, before getting off her chair and walking away.
I don't know what she means by 'huh', but I don't care enough to think about it.
***
I quickly dress for work and head back down to my car. "Cameron," I hear, and I already know who it is without turning around. Roxy's running toward me barefoot with her heels in her hand. "Please tell me you're going to work right now."
"Yeah," I shout, waiting for her to catch up.
"Oh my God, I rushed out of class and to the bathroom to change and then I missed my bus and ran all the way here." She drops her shit when she gets to me and bends over, trying to catch her breath—her shirt's so low that her tits nearly fall out.
I turn away.
When she finally settles enough to stand upright, she crosses her arms over her chest and shivers. "Anyway," she says, rubbing her arms. "Can I get a ride?"
I shrug out of my jacket and hand it to her. "Sure," I tell her, jerking my head toward my car. She covers herself in my jacket, but doesn't put her arms through.
"Holy shit," she laughs out. "A Delorean?"
My smile is smug; it always is when people realize what I drive.
I press the button on the remote and stand back while the doors lift for her. "Please," I mock, throwing my hand out for her to take, "step into my time machine."
Her head throws back with laughter, as she gets in ass first, with her legs together so she doesn't show off too much of what's under her short-ass skirt.
"You're an idiot," she says.
"I know," I laugh.
I close her door and lift my head, and then my heart stops.
"Hey," Lucy says, her eyes slowly moving from Roxy to me. But having Roxy sitting in the car isn't what made the beating of my heart falter. It's not even the fact that she looks hurt by it. It's the fact that her eyes are red and puffy like she's been crying for days.
"What's going on?" I stand so I'm in front of her and take both her hands in mine.