"Logan," she whispered.
I swallowed.
She moved closer.
I did the same.
A buzzing intensity ran through my body. We were so close.
Then I kissed her.
Our mouths moved. Our chests heaved. But nothing else.
No hands. No sounds. Nothing.
Nothing around us.
Not a single fucking thing. In that moment—it was just her.
Then she moved closer, her entire body flushed mine.
Our breathing got heavy.
She picked up my arm and positioned it over her waist. I pulled her closer to me. And without me realizing, her hips had started moving. Thrusting. Like she needed some form of relief. I wanted to give it to her. I had to give it to her. My hand went to her stomach. Lower. And lower. Until it was just above her pants. My fingers dipped under the band. Her hand stopped me. She pulled it out but placed in between her legs, over her pants. I could feel the warmth. I started touching her. She kissed me deeper. Harder. Her breathing got heavier, more erratic. I needed to give it to her. She moaned into my mouth. Then moved to lie on her back. Her knees raised. Her legs spread. Her fingers curled in my hair. I never stopped touching her. Then her hips started moving again. Pushing into my hand. All I could do was cup her and hope that it was enough. "I want to touch you," I whispered against her lips.
She never broke the kiss. "Not tonight." I kissed her deeper, my hands moving faster.
"Oh—shit—mm." She kept up with the kissing. "Shit. Stop," she said. But her hips never stopped moving.
"Why?" I asked her.
She pulled back, her head landing on the pillow. She bit her lip, her breathing sounding more and more like moans. "I'm gonna—and it's embarrassing—fuck—Logan—I'm—"
I watched as her head started thrashing from side to side.
Then her body stiffened.
I slowed my movements.
Her eyes shut tight.
I watched it all.
Then she let out a breath with a whoosh. Her eyes slowly opened, they met mine. She kissed me once. "That was kind of embarrassing."
"No." I said seriously. "It was kind of beautiful."
Her eyes drifted shut again. "Just a powernap," she repeated.
"Okay."
She turned on her side again, with her face on my chest. Her arm went around me, and her legs tangled with mine. I did the same. "Huh." I heard her say.
And that's how we stayed. In each other’s arms, holding on to this night.
I didn’t wanted to let go.
Ever.
Maybe it was too soon.
Maybe it was too intimate.
Maybe it was too perfect.
***
"OH.MY.GOD!" she yelled. "Guess fucking time it is?"
I sat up, still half asleep. I must’ve dozed off, too. "I don't know."
"No, Logan, guess ?!"
I rubbed my eyes. "I don't know, like, midnight?"
She showed me her phone. "It's four a.m."
"What? It can't be." I focused my eyes and took the phone from her hands.
She nodded her head dramatically, her eyes wide. "I have to be at work in five hours! You have to take me home. Like, right now!" She panicked and made a move to leave, but I held her back and pulled her into my arms. "Or..." I began. "You can just stay the night here and I'll drive you to work when it's time."
She kissed me once, and then pulled away. She eyed our surroundings, and then faced me again. Then she was quiet, thinking. "I don't think that's such a good idea," she stated.
I nodded, thinking about touching her again. "Yeah, you're probably right."
She got out of bed and so did. I pulled out a new shirt from my dresser and grabbed my car keys. She walked towards the bathroom, her jeans in hand. I stopped her. "Just wear them, give them back to me next time I take you out."
She smiled. "Okay."
***
We got to her house faster than I'd like. At one point I glanced over and saw her nervously chewing on her lip. I leaned over, took her hand in mine and gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. We didn't talk much; I guess we were both rehashing the night. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but I knew that I definitely wanted to see her again.
I pulled into her driveway and switched the car off, turning in my seat to look at her. She smiled softly then turned to open her door.
"Wait." I said, "Just wait there, I'll get that."
I jumped out of the car, ran to her side, opening the door for her. She got out and I closed it behind her. She leaned back against it and looked up at me. Her hand reaches out and pulled at my shirt until my body was pressed against hers. Then her arms were around my neck and my hands automatically went to her waist. She kissed me once. "So, I had a good night. Thank you, Logan."
"Yeah?" I asked
She nodded.
"Not bad for a virgin dater, huh?"
She chuckled. "Nope, not bad at all."
"Okay," she sighed, removing her hands from around my neck. "I better get inside."
My hands took hers and I locked our fingers together between us. "Okay." I said, before kissing her. A kiss I used to try to tell her how I felt. And if she decided—once she was in that house—that she never wanted to see me again, then at least she'd have that kiss to remember me by. Because I would. Remember her, I mean.
"Wow," she whispered, as we break apart.
Good. She got it.
I kissed her a few more times, quickly, before pulling back completely.
"You'll call me, right?" Her eyes were cast downwards.
"Amanda," I said, trying to get her to see me. She looked up and into my eyes. "This," I motioned my finger between us. "It's not—I mean, it means more to me than what you're probably thinking. I'll definitely call you, okay?"
She nodded, and then turned and walked away. I hated it. Seeing her walk away. I just—I don't know. I didn't want this to end. The truth is I actually gave a shit—if she didn't want to see me again—or want me at all. For the first time ever, I actually cared.
"Wait!" I ran up to her. She turned around with a confused look on her face.
"Do you have a break tomorrow? I mean—shit. Is that too soon? Is it like creepy stalker too soon? Fuck."
She laughed at me. "I have a break at two, and no, I mean maybe, but not for me, too soon, I mean. And even if it is, who gives a shit." She shrugged. "I would love to see you, too soon."
Then she turned around and walked away, and I let her. I waited until she was in the house and I saw her bedroom light turn on. I got back into my car and pulled out my phone. I was about to text her, but she beat me to it.
Is it too soon to tell you that I'm already missing the shit out of you?
I swallowed.
She moved closer.
I did the same.
A buzzing intensity ran through my body. We were so close.
Then I kissed her.
Our mouths moved. Our chests heaved. But nothing else.
No hands. No sounds. Nothing.
Nothing around us.
Not a single fucking thing. In that moment—it was just her.
Then she moved closer, her entire body flushed mine.
Our breathing got heavy.
She picked up my arm and positioned it over her waist. I pulled her closer to me. And without me realizing, her hips had started moving. Thrusting. Like she needed some form of relief. I wanted to give it to her. I had to give it to her. My hand went to her stomach. Lower. And lower. Until it was just above her pants. My fingers dipped under the band. Her hand stopped me. She pulled it out but placed in between her legs, over her pants. I could feel the warmth. I started touching her. She kissed me deeper. Harder. Her breathing got heavier, more erratic. I needed to give it to her. She moaned into my mouth. Then moved to lie on her back. Her knees raised. Her legs spread. Her fingers curled in my hair. I never stopped touching her. Then her hips started moving again. Pushing into my hand. All I could do was cup her and hope that it was enough. "I want to touch you," I whispered against her lips.
She never broke the kiss. "Not tonight." I kissed her deeper, my hands moving faster.
"Oh—shit—mm." She kept up with the kissing. "Shit. Stop," she said. But her hips never stopped moving.
"Why?" I asked her.
She pulled back, her head landing on the pillow. She bit her lip, her breathing sounding more and more like moans. "I'm gonna—and it's embarrassing—fuck—Logan—I'm—"
I watched as her head started thrashing from side to side.
Then her body stiffened.
I slowed my movements.
Her eyes shut tight.
I watched it all.
Then she let out a breath with a whoosh. Her eyes slowly opened, they met mine. She kissed me once. "That was kind of embarrassing."
"No." I said seriously. "It was kind of beautiful."
Her eyes drifted shut again. "Just a powernap," she repeated.
"Okay."
She turned on her side again, with her face on my chest. Her arm went around me, and her legs tangled with mine. I did the same. "Huh." I heard her say.
And that's how we stayed. In each other’s arms, holding on to this night.
I didn’t wanted to let go.
Ever.
Maybe it was too soon.
Maybe it was too intimate.
Maybe it was too perfect.
***
"OH.MY.GOD!" she yelled. "Guess fucking time it is?"
I sat up, still half asleep. I must’ve dozed off, too. "I don't know."
"No, Logan, guess ?!"
I rubbed my eyes. "I don't know, like, midnight?"
She showed me her phone. "It's four a.m."
"What? It can't be." I focused my eyes and took the phone from her hands.
She nodded her head dramatically, her eyes wide. "I have to be at work in five hours! You have to take me home. Like, right now!" She panicked and made a move to leave, but I held her back and pulled her into my arms. "Or..." I began. "You can just stay the night here and I'll drive you to work when it's time."
She kissed me once, and then pulled away. She eyed our surroundings, and then faced me again. Then she was quiet, thinking. "I don't think that's such a good idea," she stated.
I nodded, thinking about touching her again. "Yeah, you're probably right."
She got out of bed and so did. I pulled out a new shirt from my dresser and grabbed my car keys. She walked towards the bathroom, her jeans in hand. I stopped her. "Just wear them, give them back to me next time I take you out."
She smiled. "Okay."
***
We got to her house faster than I'd like. At one point I glanced over and saw her nervously chewing on her lip. I leaned over, took her hand in mine and gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. We didn't talk much; I guess we were both rehashing the night. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but I knew that I definitely wanted to see her again.
I pulled into her driveway and switched the car off, turning in my seat to look at her. She smiled softly then turned to open her door.
"Wait." I said, "Just wait there, I'll get that."
I jumped out of the car, ran to her side, opening the door for her. She got out and I closed it behind her. She leaned back against it and looked up at me. Her hand reaches out and pulled at my shirt until my body was pressed against hers. Then her arms were around my neck and my hands automatically went to her waist. She kissed me once. "So, I had a good night. Thank you, Logan."
"Yeah?" I asked
She nodded.
"Not bad for a virgin dater, huh?"
She chuckled. "Nope, not bad at all."
"Okay," she sighed, removing her hands from around my neck. "I better get inside."
My hands took hers and I locked our fingers together between us. "Okay." I said, before kissing her. A kiss I used to try to tell her how I felt. And if she decided—once she was in that house—that she never wanted to see me again, then at least she'd have that kiss to remember me by. Because I would. Remember her, I mean.
"Wow," she whispered, as we break apart.
Good. She got it.
I kissed her a few more times, quickly, before pulling back completely.
"You'll call me, right?" Her eyes were cast downwards.
"Amanda," I said, trying to get her to see me. She looked up and into my eyes. "This," I motioned my finger between us. "It's not—I mean, it means more to me than what you're probably thinking. I'll definitely call you, okay?"
She nodded, and then turned and walked away. I hated it. Seeing her walk away. I just—I don't know. I didn't want this to end. The truth is I actually gave a shit—if she didn't want to see me again—or want me at all. For the first time ever, I actually cared.
"Wait!" I ran up to her. She turned around with a confused look on her face.
"Do you have a break tomorrow? I mean—shit. Is that too soon? Is it like creepy stalker too soon? Fuck."
She laughed at me. "I have a break at two, and no, I mean maybe, but not for me, too soon, I mean. And even if it is, who gives a shit." She shrugged. "I would love to see you, too soon."
Then she turned around and walked away, and I let her. I waited until she was in the house and I saw her bedroom light turn on. I got back into my car and pulled out my phone. I was about to text her, but she beat me to it.
Is it too soon to tell you that I'm already missing the shit out of you?
