Her head lifted from my neck. "You are doing something. You're here. That's something."
My hand started running through her hair. "It's not enough."
"It's more than I expected," she said, lowering her head to my chest.
Amanda
He put his free hand on the small of my back, and that's how we stayed, with his arms wrapped around me, his fingers in my hair, my head on his chest, and my heart in his hands.
Minutes went by before I felt his hand that was stroking my hair begin to slow, and his breathing evened out.
He'd fallen asleep.
I lifted my head slowly, hoping not to wake him.
And I looked at him.
And I forget where I am, and how I got here. I forget the storm outside, and all the memories associated with it. Because all I feel is him. I watched as his chest slowly rises and falls, his hair—that perfect mess, his lips slightly parted as his breath blew in and out.
My gaze lingered on his lips longer than it should, but I don't kiss him. Instead, I lay my head back down and let his rhythmic breathing lull me into my own slumber.
***
I get jolted awake by the ringing of my phone. It surprised me so much that I jumped and hit my head on the roof of Logan's car.
He was already chuckling as his hand soothed where my head just hit. "It's Ethan," he said, handing me my phone.
***
By the time we get home, the rain had stopped and the sun was out. We didn't talk about what happened in the stadium, and we didn't discuss my crying in the car.
A bunch of Ethan's friends were in the living room watching the game, including James. James walked past us to go to the kitchen. "Amanda," he nodded in greeting. Then looked to Logan, his eyebrows bunched in confusion. I don't know if he knew Logan lived here, or if he suspected something else. "Matthews," he did the same head nod towards Logan.
"Asshole," Logan replied.
We waited for James to be done in the kitchen before going in; I sat up on the counter while he got out two bottles of water. He handed me one the same time Ethan walked in.
"You okay?" he asked, clearly concerned.
I smiled at him. "Uh huh."
Logan leaned back on the opposite counter, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You sure?" Ethan asked again. He's always been a good brother, and even though we're twins, he's always acted like an older one, a protector of sorts. He understands who I am and he puts up with my shit, even when I don't deserve it. But the summer after senior year, things changed. He became more than just my brother, he became my best friend.
"'I'm sure E, it's fine. Logan took care of me."
Logan choked on his water, then tried to contain his laugh. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, while Ethan looked from me to him, a look of disgust clear on his face.
"I don't even want to know," E said, shaking his head. He continued, "So, you don't..." a slow smirk developed as he took a step closer. I was confused for a second before his arms come up. "You don't need a hug do you?"
My legs automatically kicked out in front of me. "No. Ew. Gross."
He started laughing, backing away.
"What's that about?" Logan said through his own laughter.
Great. My brother and my whatever-the-hell Logan was, both laughing at me.
"Dimmy hates being hugged. Ask Tyson. It was the one thing he didn't love about her."
My face fell at the mention of his name. I could see Logan watching me from the corner of my eye. I knew what his next question was going to be. I mentally prepared myself for it.
Ethan left the room.
And then it was deadly silent.
I kept my eyes trained to the floor. I saw him take the few steps until he was right in front of me. He separated my legs so he could stand between them. Then he placed both hands on the counter either side of me.
I never looked up.
I waited.
And I waited.
"So," he said, his voice low. "You hate being hugged?"
Not the question I was expecting. I couldn't help but smile as my eyes moved up to meet his. I nodded once.
His arms went around my waist. Mine moved on their own until they rest on his shoulders. His smile matched mine. He pulled me closer.
"I would have never guessed," he whispered in my ear. Then he rubbed his nose along my jaw until his mouth was aligned with mine. "I must be special," he said into my mouth, right before he kissed me.
And I lose myself.
In his hold.
In his kiss.
I completely lose myself in Logan Matthews.
He started to pull away, but came back in for a few more chaste kisses. I giggled into his mouth.
He rubbed his palms up and down my bare legs. "What are we doing tonight?" he asked.
"We are doing nothing. I am going to work."
He threw his head back, frustrated.
"But," I continued. "I have tomorrow day and the next day completely free, but I have to work tomorrow night."
"I have practice in the morning, and then I'm free the rest of the day." He paused, thinking. "And the next day too."
He backed away and left the kitchen.
I knew he was lying, but I didn't care. Right now, I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than him.
Logan
Clearly whoever the fuck that Tyson asshole was—he wasn't holding her right.
TWENTY
Logan
Amanda got a ride to work from a friend. A non-Tony friend.
The guys ended up leaving as soon as the game was done and some girl came over, I didn't see her, I just heard her heels as she walked into the house. They went straight to Ethan's room without saying a word. I stayed on the sofa and studied.
I don't know how much time passed before Ethan came out, with a brunette in tow. If you had asked me a few months ago, I would've told you she was hot. She just wasn't Amanda.
It was close to eleven, and I was still on the sofa surrounded by books. It was a sight not many people saw. The brunette with him stopped suddenly when she saw me. I hope I hadn't screwed her because this could get real awkward.
"Kellie, this is Logan." Ethan had his hand on the small of her back as he introduced us. I motioned a small wave.
She smiled, throwing her hand out for me to take. "Kellie, with an I E, just so you know," she cooed, stepping closer to me. I looked from her hand, to her face. She was checking me out. I looked behind her, to Ethan, who was yawning.
I shook her hand once, firmly, and said to Ethan, "What are you guys doing?"
He finished his yawn with a grunt, "Kellie's going home. I was about to pick up Amanda."
"I don't know why you need to pick her up all the time. Surely Tony could bring her home." She turned to face him. "I wanted to sleep over tonight," she whined.
My hand started running through her hair. "It's not enough."
"It's more than I expected," she said, lowering her head to my chest.
Amanda
He put his free hand on the small of my back, and that's how we stayed, with his arms wrapped around me, his fingers in my hair, my head on his chest, and my heart in his hands.
Minutes went by before I felt his hand that was stroking my hair begin to slow, and his breathing evened out.
He'd fallen asleep.
I lifted my head slowly, hoping not to wake him.
And I looked at him.
And I forget where I am, and how I got here. I forget the storm outside, and all the memories associated with it. Because all I feel is him. I watched as his chest slowly rises and falls, his hair—that perfect mess, his lips slightly parted as his breath blew in and out.
My gaze lingered on his lips longer than it should, but I don't kiss him. Instead, I lay my head back down and let his rhythmic breathing lull me into my own slumber.
***
I get jolted awake by the ringing of my phone. It surprised me so much that I jumped and hit my head on the roof of Logan's car.
He was already chuckling as his hand soothed where my head just hit. "It's Ethan," he said, handing me my phone.
***
By the time we get home, the rain had stopped and the sun was out. We didn't talk about what happened in the stadium, and we didn't discuss my crying in the car.
A bunch of Ethan's friends were in the living room watching the game, including James. James walked past us to go to the kitchen. "Amanda," he nodded in greeting. Then looked to Logan, his eyebrows bunched in confusion. I don't know if he knew Logan lived here, or if he suspected something else. "Matthews," he did the same head nod towards Logan.
"Asshole," Logan replied.
We waited for James to be done in the kitchen before going in; I sat up on the counter while he got out two bottles of water. He handed me one the same time Ethan walked in.
"You okay?" he asked, clearly concerned.
I smiled at him. "Uh huh."
Logan leaned back on the opposite counter, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You sure?" Ethan asked again. He's always been a good brother, and even though we're twins, he's always acted like an older one, a protector of sorts. He understands who I am and he puts up with my shit, even when I don't deserve it. But the summer after senior year, things changed. He became more than just my brother, he became my best friend.
"'I'm sure E, it's fine. Logan took care of me."
Logan choked on his water, then tried to contain his laugh. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, while Ethan looked from me to him, a look of disgust clear on his face.
"I don't even want to know," E said, shaking his head. He continued, "So, you don't..." a slow smirk developed as he took a step closer. I was confused for a second before his arms come up. "You don't need a hug do you?"
My legs automatically kicked out in front of me. "No. Ew. Gross."
He started laughing, backing away.
"What's that about?" Logan said through his own laughter.
Great. My brother and my whatever-the-hell Logan was, both laughing at me.
"Dimmy hates being hugged. Ask Tyson. It was the one thing he didn't love about her."
My face fell at the mention of his name. I could see Logan watching me from the corner of my eye. I knew what his next question was going to be. I mentally prepared myself for it.
Ethan left the room.
And then it was deadly silent.
I kept my eyes trained to the floor. I saw him take the few steps until he was right in front of me. He separated my legs so he could stand between them. Then he placed both hands on the counter either side of me.
I never looked up.
I waited.
And I waited.
"So," he said, his voice low. "You hate being hugged?"
Not the question I was expecting. I couldn't help but smile as my eyes moved up to meet his. I nodded once.
His arms went around my waist. Mine moved on their own until they rest on his shoulders. His smile matched mine. He pulled me closer.
"I would have never guessed," he whispered in my ear. Then he rubbed his nose along my jaw until his mouth was aligned with mine. "I must be special," he said into my mouth, right before he kissed me.
And I lose myself.
In his hold.
In his kiss.
I completely lose myself in Logan Matthews.
He started to pull away, but came back in for a few more chaste kisses. I giggled into his mouth.
He rubbed his palms up and down my bare legs. "What are we doing tonight?" he asked.
"We are doing nothing. I am going to work."
He threw his head back, frustrated.
"But," I continued. "I have tomorrow day and the next day completely free, but I have to work tomorrow night."
"I have practice in the morning, and then I'm free the rest of the day." He paused, thinking. "And the next day too."
He backed away and left the kitchen.
I knew he was lying, but I didn't care. Right now, I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than him.
Logan
Clearly whoever the fuck that Tyson asshole was—he wasn't holding her right.
TWENTY
Logan
Amanda got a ride to work from a friend. A non-Tony friend.
The guys ended up leaving as soon as the game was done and some girl came over, I didn't see her, I just heard her heels as she walked into the house. They went straight to Ethan's room without saying a word. I stayed on the sofa and studied.
I don't know how much time passed before Ethan came out, with a brunette in tow. If you had asked me a few months ago, I would've told you she was hot. She just wasn't Amanda.
It was close to eleven, and I was still on the sofa surrounded by books. It was a sight not many people saw. The brunette with him stopped suddenly when she saw me. I hope I hadn't screwed her because this could get real awkward.
"Kellie, this is Logan." Ethan had his hand on the small of her back as he introduced us. I motioned a small wave.
She smiled, throwing her hand out for me to take. "Kellie, with an I E, just so you know," she cooed, stepping closer to me. I looked from her hand, to her face. She was checking me out. I looked behind her, to Ethan, who was yawning.
I shook her hand once, firmly, and said to Ethan, "What are you guys doing?"
He finished his yawn with a grunt, "Kellie's going home. I was about to pick up Amanda."
"I don't know why you need to pick her up all the time. Surely Tony could bring her home." She turned to face him. "I wanted to sleep over tonight," she whined.
