My palms began to sweat; my thumb cracked the fingers on each hand. My pulse echoed in my ears. I could see Lucy's confused expression from the corner of my eye, but I couldn't take my fucking eyes off Amanda. My hands went in my front pockets while I waited for her reaction. I needed her to say something—anything. To tell me that she remembered me. But when she finally looked up, there was nothing.
"Nope. Never." She faked looking at her watch. "I gotta go. My rides coming and he's in a hurry, I'll see you girls later," she said quickly, and then walked away.
"We got book club on Tuesday. Don't forget," Lucy called after her.
She raised her hand in acknowledgement.
I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.
Lucy put her arm through mine as we walked out and towards the parking lot. "Logan, don't tell me you've slept with her, too. She's one of the good ones," she whined.
"What? No. I haven't. Swear it."
"Good." She laughed.
I put my arms around both their shoulders. "So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!"
"Ew!" Lucy yelped the same time Micky backhanded my stomach.
The girls got in Micky's car and drove off.
I looked around for my car. I wasn't parked on this side of the lot. I started making my way to the other side, and saw Amanda sitting at a bus stop, on her phone. I was at a stand still for a moment, wondering if I should try and talk to her, or if I should just leave her alone.
She glanced up when she heard footsteps, but her expression falling the instant she realized it was me. "I got to go, Lexi. I'll call you later...yeah...uh-huh...bye."
She regarded me, her eyebrows raised.
"Hey." I motioned my head to the spot on the bench next to her.
She bit her lip and looked away. "It's a free country, Matthews. You can do what you want."
I hated that she called me Matthews. Like she didn't even know my name. Or she just didn't care. "So you do remember me? That's not what you said to-"
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Her whole body spun to face me. "I'm not the one that—" She stopped herself abruptly and closed her eyes, forcing her breathing to steady.
I watched her, confused.
"You know what, Matthews? Just leave it alone, okay? No one needs to know that we have history—or whatever. Just leave it. Please." Her eyes were cast downwards, picking at her jeans.
I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tried to reach for her hand, but she jerked it away.
"Amanda," I sighed. "I'm sorry." I meant it.
Her whole body tensed before she raised her eyes to mine.
"You're too late, Logan." She shook her head slowly. "You're just too fucking late."
A car pulled up, interrupting me from saying anything more. She rushed to stand, putting her backpack on. "I'd say it was nice seeing you, Matthews. But it really, really wasn't." I stayed silent as she got into that same piece of shit old jeep from her graduation day.
And I was left sitting there, watching her leave.
Again.
FOUR
-Past-
The assist. Start of summer, pre College
A week had passed since I'd met her at Jakes house, but she still lingered on my mind. I'd forgotten that she went to Micky's school, so I didn't expect to see her at their graduation. But I was so fucking glad that I did.
***
She stood on the sidewalk across from me talking to another girl, both of them wearing their gowns. I crossed the road and stood behind her. Whatever her friend was saying died in the air when she saw me.
"What is it?" Amanda asked her.
I interrupted. "Well, well. I bet you never thought you'd see me again?"
She slowly turned around; a scowl had already formed on her face. "What do you want, Matthews?"
I chuckled.
Her eye twitched.
It made me laugh harder. "I don't know why you're pissed at me," I said, trying to hide my amusement. "I'm just standing here, asking you question. It's not a big deal." I shrugged, my hands going in my pockets.
She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to answer her.
So I did. "Your number. For real this time."
"No. Again. For real this time."
The fact that she didn't want me made me want her more. Just when I about to tell her that I wasn't going to take no for an answer, a piece of shit old jeep pulled up beside us. The kid driving had the top down, with two other guys in the back seat. They all wore their gowns.
"Hey," Amanda's friend cooed.
The kid driving gave her a quick head nod before he looked at me, eyes narrowed. He didn't say shit, just glared.
I glared back.
"I'll call you later," Amanda said to her friend, hugging her quickly before brushing past me and into the front seat of the car. I watched as they drove off. She never once looked back.
"So you want her number?" her friend asked.
I turned back to face her, rubbing my palm on my jaw. I eyed her up and down, confused. "Why?" I asked. "You gonna to give it to me?"
"I'm Alexis, just FYI. And yes, I am." Her hand was out waiting. I handed her my phone.
"And her boyfriend?" I jerked my head to the spot where the car had just left.
She looked up at me, mid type. "Not her boyfriend."
She handed it back and I made sure it was in there this time, and she wasn't just fucking with me like Amanda did.
I thanked her before walking to my car. Once I was seated, I pulled out my phone and texted her;
Logan: So, I'm thinking dinner for our first date. Any requests?
Amanda: Fucking Alexis.
FIVE
-Present-
"Come to the house," Jake said after practice. "We'll grab a few beers and order a pizza." He ran his hands through his hair. "The only thing is—we kind of have to eat out back." "What?" I laughed.
"Yeah. The girls have book club or something. They hate when I'm around."
I raise my eyebrows in disbelief.
He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, asshole. I'm still allowed to be home. Just not...inside the house."
"You're so—wait. Did you say book club?"
He nodded, eyebrows bunched in confusion.
I feigned disinterest. "So uh—who attends this so called book club?"
"Just Kayla, Luce and their friend Amanda."
I ignored the pounding in my chest. "Hey, when she's done whipping you, do you have to carry it back to its place with your mouth?"
"Nope. Never." She faked looking at her watch. "I gotta go. My rides coming and he's in a hurry, I'll see you girls later," she said quickly, and then walked away.
"We got book club on Tuesday. Don't forget," Lucy called after her.
She raised her hand in acknowledgement.
I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.
Lucy put her arm through mine as we walked out and towards the parking lot. "Logan, don't tell me you've slept with her, too. She's one of the good ones," she whined.
"What? No. I haven't. Swear it."
"Good." She laughed.
I put my arms around both their shoulders. "So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!"
"Ew!" Lucy yelped the same time Micky backhanded my stomach.
The girls got in Micky's car and drove off.
I looked around for my car. I wasn't parked on this side of the lot. I started making my way to the other side, and saw Amanda sitting at a bus stop, on her phone. I was at a stand still for a moment, wondering if I should try and talk to her, or if I should just leave her alone.
She glanced up when she heard footsteps, but her expression falling the instant she realized it was me. "I got to go, Lexi. I'll call you later...yeah...uh-huh...bye."
She regarded me, her eyebrows raised.
"Hey." I motioned my head to the spot on the bench next to her.
She bit her lip and looked away. "It's a free country, Matthews. You can do what you want."
I hated that she called me Matthews. Like she didn't even know my name. Or she just didn't care. "So you do remember me? That's not what you said to-"
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Her whole body spun to face me. "I'm not the one that—" She stopped herself abruptly and closed her eyes, forcing her breathing to steady.
I watched her, confused.
"You know what, Matthews? Just leave it alone, okay? No one needs to know that we have history—or whatever. Just leave it. Please." Her eyes were cast downwards, picking at her jeans.
I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tried to reach for her hand, but she jerked it away.
"Amanda," I sighed. "I'm sorry." I meant it.
Her whole body tensed before she raised her eyes to mine.
"You're too late, Logan." She shook her head slowly. "You're just too fucking late."
A car pulled up, interrupting me from saying anything more. She rushed to stand, putting her backpack on. "I'd say it was nice seeing you, Matthews. But it really, really wasn't." I stayed silent as she got into that same piece of shit old jeep from her graduation day.
And I was left sitting there, watching her leave.
Again.
FOUR
-Past-
The assist. Start of summer, pre College
A week had passed since I'd met her at Jakes house, but she still lingered on my mind. I'd forgotten that she went to Micky's school, so I didn't expect to see her at their graduation. But I was so fucking glad that I did.
***
She stood on the sidewalk across from me talking to another girl, both of them wearing their gowns. I crossed the road and stood behind her. Whatever her friend was saying died in the air when she saw me.
"What is it?" Amanda asked her.
I interrupted. "Well, well. I bet you never thought you'd see me again?"
She slowly turned around; a scowl had already formed on her face. "What do you want, Matthews?"
I chuckled.
Her eye twitched.
It made me laugh harder. "I don't know why you're pissed at me," I said, trying to hide my amusement. "I'm just standing here, asking you question. It's not a big deal." I shrugged, my hands going in my pockets.
She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to answer her.
So I did. "Your number. For real this time."
"No. Again. For real this time."
The fact that she didn't want me made me want her more. Just when I about to tell her that I wasn't going to take no for an answer, a piece of shit old jeep pulled up beside us. The kid driving had the top down, with two other guys in the back seat. They all wore their gowns.
"Hey," Amanda's friend cooed.
The kid driving gave her a quick head nod before he looked at me, eyes narrowed. He didn't say shit, just glared.
I glared back.
"I'll call you later," Amanda said to her friend, hugging her quickly before brushing past me and into the front seat of the car. I watched as they drove off. She never once looked back.
"So you want her number?" her friend asked.
I turned back to face her, rubbing my palm on my jaw. I eyed her up and down, confused. "Why?" I asked. "You gonna to give it to me?"
"I'm Alexis, just FYI. And yes, I am." Her hand was out waiting. I handed her my phone.
"And her boyfriend?" I jerked my head to the spot where the car had just left.
She looked up at me, mid type. "Not her boyfriend."
She handed it back and I made sure it was in there this time, and she wasn't just fucking with me like Amanda did.
I thanked her before walking to my car. Once I was seated, I pulled out my phone and texted her;
Logan: So, I'm thinking dinner for our first date. Any requests?
Amanda: Fucking Alexis.
FIVE
-Present-
"Come to the house," Jake said after practice. "We'll grab a few beers and order a pizza." He ran his hands through his hair. "The only thing is—we kind of have to eat out back." "What?" I laughed.
"Yeah. The girls have book club or something. They hate when I'm around."
I raise my eyebrows in disbelief.
He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, asshole. I'm still allowed to be home. Just not...inside the house."
"You're so—wait. Did you say book club?"
He nodded, eyebrows bunched in confusion.
I feigned disinterest. "So uh—who attends this so called book club?"
"Just Kayla, Luce and their friend Amanda."
I ignored the pounding in my chest. "Hey, when she's done whipping you, do you have to carry it back to its place with your mouth?"
