I didn't see it but I heard it. Loud cheers on the screen as well as in the bar broke the intensity. Everyone was on their feet, celebrating. I walked through the patrons so I could see the TV. The camera was on Jake and Logan, talking shit as they walked to the dugout. Both carried huge grins. Logan had his mask off, his dimples on full show. My heart swelled— if anyone deserved to have a moment like this—it was him.
I got lifted off the floor by someone's arms around me. At first I panicked, but when I realized it was just Shane, Ethan's friend, I celebrated with him. "I'll see you at your house!" he yelled.
"What?"
He threw his head back in laughter. "Ethan called!" He had to scream over the celebrations around us. "Party at your house!"
Normally, I'd be pissed. But right now, I just didn't care.
The game got closed out and the bar emptied out pretty soon after. Because we were so close to campus, most of the patrons were students, which meant I'd probably see them at my house.
***
Two hours later I finally pulled into the driveway. Ethan let me borrow his car because he knew he'd be drinking. There were people all over the house, and the music was blaring.
I saw a bunch of girls and guys on the front lawn. I recognized the guys from the team. Was everyone here? All of a sudden I was nervous. It was different when it was just me and Logan and our close friends, but I don't know what it'd be like in front of everyone. I know I shouldn't be, and a part of me hates that I was, but I couldn’t help being insecure when it came to him. I was confident with how he felt about me. It was just how other people felt about us. I shouldn't give a shit. But I did.
I made my way into the house and walked to the kitchen. And he was there, leaning against the counter, beer in his hand, his arms crossed over his chest. He had two girls in front of him. They held hands, clearly trying to flirt. Probably trying for a threesome. He shook his head, clearly uninterested in whatever they were offering.
He must've sensed me in the room, because his eyes moved around, until finally, they locked on mine.
I stood there and waited. Anticipating his next move.
Slowly, he began to smile, it got wider and wider until his dimples got as deep possible. He wordlessly kicked off the counter, walked between the two girls, until he stood in front me. So close our chests touched. Then we just stared at each other, wearing the same stupid goofy grins. Without a word, he took my hand and led me to his room, closing the door behind him.
"I wish I was there," I said, the same time he said, "I wish you were there."
Then we laughed at each other.
I sat on the bed.
He paced the floor. It was obvious the adrenaline from the game was still flowing through him.
"Oh God," he started, his fingers linked behind his head, "I couldn’t even explain what it was like."
"Try!" I told him. I needed to know. I wanted to share the excitement with him.
He faced me, his smile huge. He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe it. "It was just—I don't know. Being out there—and the crowd cheering—it was so loud!" He started to get animated. His words coming out in a rushed. "It was unbelievable. I mean—I've played before, but it was never about me. And this time, it kind of was, you know? And the crowd was wild. Like, crazy wild. And I got to share that with my best friend. How fucking good is that?! You know, not many people could say they experienced something like that. I mean Jake—he's probably used to it. But for me, it was kind of a big deal—being out there. I just—" he stopped abruptly, then stepped up to me. He looked in my eyes. "Why are you crying?"
I wiped my face, surprised. I didn't even know I was. "I'm sorry," I sniffed, wiping them with the back of my hand. "It's just—" I level my breathing. "After everything that's happened to you, and you just—it's like you don't even let it get to you. And you—you deserve to have this moment, Logan. You deserve all the amazing moments in the world. I just—I'm so happy for you and I'm being a sucky person because this should be about you and I can't stop crying," I was doing that half laugh, half cry thing. "I just—I want you to be happy."
He laughed a little, taking a seat next to me. "I am happy," he said, pulling my head to his chest. He took my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist. "And you're not a sucky person. And even if you are—you're my sucky person."
Logan
We ran out of alcohol an hour ago. It was around the same time most people bailed. Funny how that happens. Now it was just us and our friends in the back yard. We were all a little buzzed. It was good times.
Amanda changed out of her uniform and into a dress. I don't know shit about girl’s clothes but I know they made her tits look huge. I'd been staring at them all night. She had nice tits. I should probably tell her that more often. She knew how I felt about her ass. I wonder if her body parts get envious of each other. Maybe I should tell her I loved her entire body. Maybe I should tell her I love—wait. No.
"Oh, okay," Micky said, pulling me from thoughts. "Maybe I should remind you that I answered a call on your phone from Marissa just last week."
Lucy gasped.
The guys stayed silent. We know when to keep our mouths shut.
Amanda obviously didn't, "Who's Marissa?" she said from next to me. I shook my head at her. She shrugged.
"Jakes super model ex-girlfriend," Micky answered.
"She's not my ex-girlfriend."
"Whatever," Micky huffed.
"Dude," Jake said to me. "Tell her."
I took in a deep breath. "She's not." I said to Micky. "They never dated. She wanted to. She invited herself as his date for prom. I think they fooled around a couple of times." Micky's face contorted to a look of disgust. "Not sex." I clarified.
"Oh, well that helps." She rolled her eyes.
Then Dylan spoke up, "Who gives a shit. You guys are all good now. That's all that matters, right?" There's a hint of anger in his tone, but no one digs further.
It was quiet for a moment. No one wanting to speak. Dylan had that kind of presence. Amanda nudged my side, a questioning look on her face. I guess she hadn't seen this side of Dylan before.
I just smiled at her, my arm going around her shoulder, I leaned in to tell her something but my cap hit her head, she laughed. Faced me, turned it backwards, then resumed her position. "Are you buzzed?" she asked.
Yes. "I think maybe a little. But fuck, I missed you," I whispered into her ear.
The others had started talking again, ignoring us.
She bit her lip, turning her head and facing me. I saw her slowly leaning in. My heart started to pound faster. I licked my lips and waited.
But then the back door opened and I heard Heidi. "Hey guys," she greeted, causing Amanda to pull away. I threw my head back, frustrated. And then caught Lucy smirking. She tipped her beer towards me. I did the same.
I got lifted off the floor by someone's arms around me. At first I panicked, but when I realized it was just Shane, Ethan's friend, I celebrated with him. "I'll see you at your house!" he yelled.
"What?"
He threw his head back in laughter. "Ethan called!" He had to scream over the celebrations around us. "Party at your house!"
Normally, I'd be pissed. But right now, I just didn't care.
The game got closed out and the bar emptied out pretty soon after. Because we were so close to campus, most of the patrons were students, which meant I'd probably see them at my house.
***
Two hours later I finally pulled into the driveway. Ethan let me borrow his car because he knew he'd be drinking. There were people all over the house, and the music was blaring.
I saw a bunch of girls and guys on the front lawn. I recognized the guys from the team. Was everyone here? All of a sudden I was nervous. It was different when it was just me and Logan and our close friends, but I don't know what it'd be like in front of everyone. I know I shouldn't be, and a part of me hates that I was, but I couldn’t help being insecure when it came to him. I was confident with how he felt about me. It was just how other people felt about us. I shouldn't give a shit. But I did.
I made my way into the house and walked to the kitchen. And he was there, leaning against the counter, beer in his hand, his arms crossed over his chest. He had two girls in front of him. They held hands, clearly trying to flirt. Probably trying for a threesome. He shook his head, clearly uninterested in whatever they were offering.
He must've sensed me in the room, because his eyes moved around, until finally, they locked on mine.
I stood there and waited. Anticipating his next move.
Slowly, he began to smile, it got wider and wider until his dimples got as deep possible. He wordlessly kicked off the counter, walked between the two girls, until he stood in front me. So close our chests touched. Then we just stared at each other, wearing the same stupid goofy grins. Without a word, he took my hand and led me to his room, closing the door behind him.
"I wish I was there," I said, the same time he said, "I wish you were there."
Then we laughed at each other.
I sat on the bed.
He paced the floor. It was obvious the adrenaline from the game was still flowing through him.
"Oh God," he started, his fingers linked behind his head, "I couldn’t even explain what it was like."
"Try!" I told him. I needed to know. I wanted to share the excitement with him.
He faced me, his smile huge. He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe it. "It was just—I don't know. Being out there—and the crowd cheering—it was so loud!" He started to get animated. His words coming out in a rushed. "It was unbelievable. I mean—I've played before, but it was never about me. And this time, it kind of was, you know? And the crowd was wild. Like, crazy wild. And I got to share that with my best friend. How fucking good is that?! You know, not many people could say they experienced something like that. I mean Jake—he's probably used to it. But for me, it was kind of a big deal—being out there. I just—" he stopped abruptly, then stepped up to me. He looked in my eyes. "Why are you crying?"
I wiped my face, surprised. I didn't even know I was. "I'm sorry," I sniffed, wiping them with the back of my hand. "It's just—" I level my breathing. "After everything that's happened to you, and you just—it's like you don't even let it get to you. And you—you deserve to have this moment, Logan. You deserve all the amazing moments in the world. I just—I'm so happy for you and I'm being a sucky person because this should be about you and I can't stop crying," I was doing that half laugh, half cry thing. "I just—I want you to be happy."
He laughed a little, taking a seat next to me. "I am happy," he said, pulling my head to his chest. He took my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist. "And you're not a sucky person. And even if you are—you're my sucky person."
Logan
We ran out of alcohol an hour ago. It was around the same time most people bailed. Funny how that happens. Now it was just us and our friends in the back yard. We were all a little buzzed. It was good times.
Amanda changed out of her uniform and into a dress. I don't know shit about girl’s clothes but I know they made her tits look huge. I'd been staring at them all night. She had nice tits. I should probably tell her that more often. She knew how I felt about her ass. I wonder if her body parts get envious of each other. Maybe I should tell her I loved her entire body. Maybe I should tell her I love—wait. No.
"Oh, okay," Micky said, pulling me from thoughts. "Maybe I should remind you that I answered a call on your phone from Marissa just last week."
Lucy gasped.
The guys stayed silent. We know when to keep our mouths shut.
Amanda obviously didn't, "Who's Marissa?" she said from next to me. I shook my head at her. She shrugged.
"Jakes super model ex-girlfriend," Micky answered.
"She's not my ex-girlfriend."
"Whatever," Micky huffed.
"Dude," Jake said to me. "Tell her."
I took in a deep breath. "She's not." I said to Micky. "They never dated. She wanted to. She invited herself as his date for prom. I think they fooled around a couple of times." Micky's face contorted to a look of disgust. "Not sex." I clarified.
"Oh, well that helps." She rolled her eyes.
Then Dylan spoke up, "Who gives a shit. You guys are all good now. That's all that matters, right?" There's a hint of anger in his tone, but no one digs further.
It was quiet for a moment. No one wanting to speak. Dylan had that kind of presence. Amanda nudged my side, a questioning look on her face. I guess she hadn't seen this side of Dylan before.
I just smiled at her, my arm going around her shoulder, I leaned in to tell her something but my cap hit her head, she laughed. Faced me, turned it backwards, then resumed her position. "Are you buzzed?" she asked.
Yes. "I think maybe a little. But fuck, I missed you," I whispered into her ear.
The others had started talking again, ignoring us.
She bit her lip, turning her head and facing me. I saw her slowly leaning in. My heart started to pound faster. I licked my lips and waited.
But then the back door opened and I heard Heidi. "Hey guys," she greeted, causing Amanda to pull away. I threw my head back, frustrated. And then caught Lucy smirking. She tipped her beer towards me. I did the same.
