I snorted. “I’m not sure that it’s ever nice to say a woman’s ass is fat, whether it is, in fact, fat or not.”
He shrugged. “Oops.”
“Boys, let’s stop talking about fat asses and get on to what we came here to do,” Treat suggested.
Treat, also known as Trinity to everyone that wasn’t us, was our commanding officer, and the man that led us into hellacious places and found us a way back out again.
I’d trust him with my life, and he’d proven that he’d take care of it.
“All right, here’s what we got…”
***
That night, as I lay on my cot sweating my balls off, I sent Pru a message through the Messenger app I’d downloaded.
Hoax Smith: I made it.
Pru immediately responded.
Pru Mackenzie: Your last name isn’t Smith.
I grinned and started replying.
Pru Mackenzie: I’m glad that I got to hear from you. But Smith is so generic, couldn’t you actually come up with something that’s believable.
I finished typing my message and sent it.
Hoax Smith: I would’ve just put Hoax, but Facebook wouldn’t let me. So, I made up a name on the fly. I thought it was good.
Pru took two seconds to type out her reply and then responded.
Pru Mackenzie: I guess that’s acceptable. Did you make a Facebook profile as well?
I started to type a reply but stopped when I saw the picture she sent next.
I grinned.
Hoax Smith: No, I didn’t create a profile. Why is Bacon in the bathtub with you?
Pru Mackenzie: I didn’t invite him in here with me if that’s what you’re asking. I actually meant to lock him out, but obviously I didn’t make sure the door was closed all the way.
Hoax Smith: you can take a bath with him any time. The only male I’ll allow to share your bathwater.
Pru replied with a ton of laughing emojis.
Another picture came in after the emojis, and I grinned when I saw the water drained from the bath, and the pig still covered in bubbles laying in the now-empty bathtub.
Pru Mackenzie: I think, if I allowed him to, he’d lay there all night. Did you know that pigs, when wet, are slippery? When I tried to pull him out, he wiggled and flopped like a fish out of water. I decided he can stay there and freeze.
I grinned and replied.
Hoax Smith: He’d come out for me if I was there.
Her pig loved me.
Then again, all of her animals loved me.
Pru Mackenzie: But you’re not here. :(
I felt my stomach sink.
Hoax Smith: That was an asshole thing to say, wasn’t it? I’m sorry.
Pru Mackenzie: No. It was truthful. I know that you didn’t mean it maliciously. Are you all setup? Is there anything you need?
Jokingly, I typed out my next reply.
Hoax Smith: A fan. Jesus, it’s hot as balls here. I’m sitting here nearly naked, and it’s still hot. There’s no airflow at all. Then again, if there was, I’d be smelling Carl’s sweaty balls, so maybe a fan isn’t all that necessary. Then again, I don’t have anywhere to plug it in if I want to charge my phone…decisions, decisions.
She immediately replied.
Pru Mackenzie: I’ll see what I can think up. But I got a call from our union president today just after we dropped you off. They’ve settled with the hospital, and we all return to work tomorrow. So, I need to go to bed since it’s bordering on three in the morning here.
I frowned.
I wasn’t sure that I was happy that they’d settled. I figured it’d take longer seeing as Kelley was a douchebag to the nth degree.
Hoax Smith: Stay safe. Pay attention to your surroundings. And call your dad or any of the boys there, and they’ll be there in a heartbeat. Don’t let Kelley get away with anything.
Pru replied with an emoji type thing that looked like her.
It was of her flying through the air, her fictitious curls flying behind her like a cape, as she karate kicked a watermelon.
Pru Mackenzie: I’m a fierce bitch. He won’t hurt me.
Smiling, I typed out a quick reply.
Hoax Smith: and that’s why I love you. You’re fierce as fuck.
Pru sent back a blue heart.
Pru Mackenzie: you make me happy. I love you, too. Goodnight, make sure to keep those balls safe. I’m fond of them.
I replied with a 10-4 and closed the app.
“You’re so fucking screwed,” Carl said.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But I’m screwed and happy. There’s a difference.”
***
The first care package came in the mail a week later. How she knew where to send it, I didn’t know, but I had a feeling it had a lot to do with her father.
In it was a lot of things. Beef jerky, a couple of small bottles of Dr. Pepper. Then there was the teeny tiny fan that plugged into the port of your phone that you usually used to charge it.
I immediately plugged it in and sighed at the cool breeze.
“That’s badass. Tell her to send us some,” Carl ordered.
I gestured to my phone and said, “Take a picture so that I can send it to her.”
“You do realize we’re in the middle of a meeting, yes?” Treat asked.
I picked up a small packet of Twizzlers and tossed them at him.
He caught it out of the air and ripped them open. “I suppose we can take five while you send your goddamn picture.”
Grinning, I did.
Then we got back to work.
Chapter 15
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
-Text from Pru to Hoax
Pru
Six weeks later
It’d been six weeks, three days, and twenty-two hours since Hoax left.
Every single time a doubt would creep into my mind over these past few weeks, something would beat them into submission.
More often than not—you know, since all I fucking ate was Chinese food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—it was a fortune cookie.
Today’s fortune cookie that got my head on straight was actually the most accurate up to date.
At the time, I hadn’t realized that it was accurate.
You will be hungry again in an hour.
Snickering, I snapped a picture of the fortune and sent it to Hoax over Messenger.
He didn’t reply back immediately, which he would have had he had time, so I put my phone back on the table and considered my options.
I had thirty minutes left of my break.
I could either A, sit right where I was and read, or I could B, go back to work.
Kelley walked in, and immediately I realized that A was no longer an option.
I would not sit there while he was there.
Over the few weeks that I’d been back, Kelley had not been a pleasant man to be around.
Every time we were near each other, he never missed an opportunity to let me know just how angry he was at me.
He saw me the instant he entered, and that cruel, mean smile instantly fell into place on that ugly face.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” he drawled, his lip curling.
My heart started to pound.
The phone in my hand creaked slightly when I squeezed to try to control the reaction to him that would show on my face.
I refrained from saying ‘look what the cat dragged in’ was usually used for the person that had just walked in, not the person that was in the room that you just entered. Honestly, it’d fit him more than it’d fit me, seeing as he was the one that’d previously walked in.
I looked down at my phone and opened up my text app, and immediately sent an SOS to my mother. My mother replied almost instantly with ‘I’m in a meeting with the CEO.’
I winced.
On my own.
I wondered if Kelley knew that my mother was meeting with his father.
Probably not, or he would’ve tried to worm his way in. That’d been what he’d done the last two times that he’d found out about the meetings.
That’d likely been why my mother had planned this one quietly. Why, I didn’t even know.
Hopefully, they would accomplish something this time.
Although a temporary plan was set into action that appeased all parties enough for the nurses to return to work, that temporary plan had expired at six weeks. Which was the point of the meeting with the CEO—to discuss the new protocols and see what needed to be fixed, and what didn’t.
He shrugged. “Oops.”
“Boys, let’s stop talking about fat asses and get on to what we came here to do,” Treat suggested.
Treat, also known as Trinity to everyone that wasn’t us, was our commanding officer, and the man that led us into hellacious places and found us a way back out again.
I’d trust him with my life, and he’d proven that he’d take care of it.
“All right, here’s what we got…”
***
That night, as I lay on my cot sweating my balls off, I sent Pru a message through the Messenger app I’d downloaded.
Hoax Smith: I made it.
Pru immediately responded.
Pru Mackenzie: Your last name isn’t Smith.
I grinned and started replying.
Pru Mackenzie: I’m glad that I got to hear from you. But Smith is so generic, couldn’t you actually come up with something that’s believable.
I finished typing my message and sent it.
Hoax Smith: I would’ve just put Hoax, but Facebook wouldn’t let me. So, I made up a name on the fly. I thought it was good.
Pru took two seconds to type out her reply and then responded.
Pru Mackenzie: I guess that’s acceptable. Did you make a Facebook profile as well?
I started to type a reply but stopped when I saw the picture she sent next.
I grinned.
Hoax Smith: No, I didn’t create a profile. Why is Bacon in the bathtub with you?
Pru Mackenzie: I didn’t invite him in here with me if that’s what you’re asking. I actually meant to lock him out, but obviously I didn’t make sure the door was closed all the way.
Hoax Smith: you can take a bath with him any time. The only male I’ll allow to share your bathwater.
Pru replied with a ton of laughing emojis.
Another picture came in after the emojis, and I grinned when I saw the water drained from the bath, and the pig still covered in bubbles laying in the now-empty bathtub.
Pru Mackenzie: I think, if I allowed him to, he’d lay there all night. Did you know that pigs, when wet, are slippery? When I tried to pull him out, he wiggled and flopped like a fish out of water. I decided he can stay there and freeze.
I grinned and replied.
Hoax Smith: He’d come out for me if I was there.
Her pig loved me.
Then again, all of her animals loved me.
Pru Mackenzie: But you’re not here. :(
I felt my stomach sink.
Hoax Smith: That was an asshole thing to say, wasn’t it? I’m sorry.
Pru Mackenzie: No. It was truthful. I know that you didn’t mean it maliciously. Are you all setup? Is there anything you need?
Jokingly, I typed out my next reply.
Hoax Smith: A fan. Jesus, it’s hot as balls here. I’m sitting here nearly naked, and it’s still hot. There’s no airflow at all. Then again, if there was, I’d be smelling Carl’s sweaty balls, so maybe a fan isn’t all that necessary. Then again, I don’t have anywhere to plug it in if I want to charge my phone…decisions, decisions.
She immediately replied.
Pru Mackenzie: I’ll see what I can think up. But I got a call from our union president today just after we dropped you off. They’ve settled with the hospital, and we all return to work tomorrow. So, I need to go to bed since it’s bordering on three in the morning here.
I frowned.
I wasn’t sure that I was happy that they’d settled. I figured it’d take longer seeing as Kelley was a douchebag to the nth degree.
Hoax Smith: Stay safe. Pay attention to your surroundings. And call your dad or any of the boys there, and they’ll be there in a heartbeat. Don’t let Kelley get away with anything.
Pru replied with an emoji type thing that looked like her.
It was of her flying through the air, her fictitious curls flying behind her like a cape, as she karate kicked a watermelon.
Pru Mackenzie: I’m a fierce bitch. He won’t hurt me.
Smiling, I typed out a quick reply.
Hoax Smith: and that’s why I love you. You’re fierce as fuck.
Pru sent back a blue heart.
Pru Mackenzie: you make me happy. I love you, too. Goodnight, make sure to keep those balls safe. I’m fond of them.
I replied with a 10-4 and closed the app.
“You’re so fucking screwed,” Carl said.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But I’m screwed and happy. There’s a difference.”
***
The first care package came in the mail a week later. How she knew where to send it, I didn’t know, but I had a feeling it had a lot to do with her father.
In it was a lot of things. Beef jerky, a couple of small bottles of Dr. Pepper. Then there was the teeny tiny fan that plugged into the port of your phone that you usually used to charge it.
I immediately plugged it in and sighed at the cool breeze.
“That’s badass. Tell her to send us some,” Carl ordered.
I gestured to my phone and said, “Take a picture so that I can send it to her.”
“You do realize we’re in the middle of a meeting, yes?” Treat asked.
I picked up a small packet of Twizzlers and tossed them at him.
He caught it out of the air and ripped them open. “I suppose we can take five while you send your goddamn picture.”
Grinning, I did.
Then we got back to work.
Chapter 15
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
-Text from Pru to Hoax
Pru
Six weeks later
It’d been six weeks, three days, and twenty-two hours since Hoax left.
Every single time a doubt would creep into my mind over these past few weeks, something would beat them into submission.
More often than not—you know, since all I fucking ate was Chinese food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—it was a fortune cookie.
Today’s fortune cookie that got my head on straight was actually the most accurate up to date.
At the time, I hadn’t realized that it was accurate.
You will be hungry again in an hour.
Snickering, I snapped a picture of the fortune and sent it to Hoax over Messenger.
He didn’t reply back immediately, which he would have had he had time, so I put my phone back on the table and considered my options.
I had thirty minutes left of my break.
I could either A, sit right where I was and read, or I could B, go back to work.
Kelley walked in, and immediately I realized that A was no longer an option.
I would not sit there while he was there.
Over the few weeks that I’d been back, Kelley had not been a pleasant man to be around.
Every time we were near each other, he never missed an opportunity to let me know just how angry he was at me.
He saw me the instant he entered, and that cruel, mean smile instantly fell into place on that ugly face.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” he drawled, his lip curling.
My heart started to pound.
The phone in my hand creaked slightly when I squeezed to try to control the reaction to him that would show on my face.
I refrained from saying ‘look what the cat dragged in’ was usually used for the person that had just walked in, not the person that was in the room that you just entered. Honestly, it’d fit him more than it’d fit me, seeing as he was the one that’d previously walked in.
I looked down at my phone and opened up my text app, and immediately sent an SOS to my mother. My mother replied almost instantly with ‘I’m in a meeting with the CEO.’
I winced.
On my own.
I wondered if Kelley knew that my mother was meeting with his father.
Probably not, or he would’ve tried to worm his way in. That’d been what he’d done the last two times that he’d found out about the meetings.
That’d likely been why my mother had planned this one quietly. Why, I didn’t even know.
Hopefully, they would accomplish something this time.
Although a temporary plan was set into action that appeased all parties enough for the nurses to return to work, that temporary plan had expired at six weeks. Which was the point of the meeting with the CEO—to discuss the new protocols and see what needed to be fixed, and what didn’t.
