My Soul to Steal
Page 48
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That was a mixed blessing, for sure. The thought of Alecmy new friend and confidantdevouring my teachers life force made me sick to my stomach. But knowing it was strengthening Avari instead was no better.
Why teachers? I asked, and Alecs frown only deepened.
I dont know. I dont know anything about this, Kaylee. Ive never even been to your schoolat least, not while Im in control of my own body.
I frowned at a vague glimmer of light on the dark horizon. So thenare you sure this is whats happening? Cause Id be perfectly happy to continue pinning this on Sabine. And I was only partly joking.
I know you want her to be guilty, and Im not exactly eager to take the blame for something I had no control over. But for the past two nights in a row, Ive gone to sleep on the couch, then woken up standing in the middle of the kitchen, fully clothed, with no idea how I got there. Avaris using me to kill people, and I have to make it stop.
You will. We will. Ill help you. But I wasnt sure how to even begin, other than making sure no one fell asleep at school. Ever.
I stood to take my empty can into the kitchen, and his voice followed me. Thanks, but I dont think theres anything you can do. Im not sure theres much either of us can do.
Yeah, well, thats what Avari thought last time, and look how that turned out. I tossed the can into the recycle bin and pulled a fresh one from the fridge. We got you, Nash, and my dad out of the Netherworld and kept Avari from forcibly emigrating the entire population of Eastlake High.
Alec huffed, a harsh sound of skepticism. Unfortunately, that silver lining is overshadowed by one hell of a gray cloud. You and Nash took a wrong turn on the road to happily ever after, and Avaris practically got on-demand access to my body and my feeding abilities.
Avari doesnt get credit for driving a wedge between me and Nash, I insisted. Nash did that himself, and hes only letting Sabine drive that wedge deeper. I popped the tab on my soda as I crossed the living room again, then sank into my dads recliner. And as for you At least now that we know what hes doing, we have a shot at stopping him.
But the truth was that our shot was a long shot at best. The only thing keeping Avari in check before was the fact that he couldnt cross into the human world. And now that hed found a waynot to mention a very powerful weapon to wieldhe was virtually unstoppable. The hellion was playing by new rules, and wed have to adapt to them quickly to have any hope of stopping him.
Kaylee? Alecs voice was oddly soft and tentative, drawing me from grim thoughts.
Yeah?
What are you gonna do? I mean Are yougoing to tellpeople?
He meant my dad. My father had bent over backward to help Alec, out of gratitude. But if he found out that Alec was being used as Avaris murder weaponand that hed kept his species and abilities a secretmy dad would kick him out without a second thought. At the very least. He wouldnt let anyone or anything risk my safety, even if that meant turning his back on a friend.
I dont have anywhere else to go, Kay. Alec met my gaze frankly. I spent the past quarter of a century groveling for whatever crumbs of mercy fell from Avaris table, and the pickings were very, very slim. When I got back to the human world, I swore things would be different. Here, I have freedom and self-respect. And friends. But one word from you could take all that away. So Im begging you, Kaylee.
Alecs eyes watered, and I could see how much it cost him to beg for mercy, when he should have been way past such bruising necessities.
And I swear, itll never happen again. I wont let it. I spent two and a half decades trying to get free from Avari, and I am not going to let him use me here like he used me there. But I need your help. I need you to keep this quiet while I figure out how to keep him out of my body. And I swear on my life that Ill never let him use me to kill again.
I wanted so badly to believe him. He looked sincere, and he sounded sincere, and both my heart and my gut believed the agony and determination clear on his face. But what if I was wrong, and he was lying? What if hed known all along what Avari was doing, and they were working together?
Or what if, in spite of his best efforts, he couldnt stop Avari from using him? What if he knew this was the only thing keeping Avari from calling in every favor owed to him to get his former proxy back? What if Alec was willing to pay this priceto let innocent people diefor his freedom from the Netherworld, and now he was playing me for a fool to keep me quiet?
The soul-searing truth was that I no longer knew who I could trustmy own track record made that painfully clear.
Id trusted Nash, and hed lied to me. Id trusted Tod, and hed withheld the truth about what could happen to me in the Netherworld. Id trusted my family, and they had all lied to me about who and what I am, for almost my entire life.
The only person in the whole worldeither worldthat I was sure had never lied to me was Emma, and unfortunately, the reverse could not be said. Id lied to her countless times, trying to keep her safe from Netherworld elements.
My life was a tower of lies, and I could feel that tower leaning. One day it would fall and crush me, and everyone around me. But until then, all I could do was slap on some more mortar and cling to the framework of trust in humanity that held me upright. Even if I was contributing to my own eventual downfall.
Why teachers? I asked, and Alecs frown only deepened.
I dont know. I dont know anything about this, Kaylee. Ive never even been to your schoolat least, not while Im in control of my own body.
I frowned at a vague glimmer of light on the dark horizon. So thenare you sure this is whats happening? Cause Id be perfectly happy to continue pinning this on Sabine. And I was only partly joking.
I know you want her to be guilty, and Im not exactly eager to take the blame for something I had no control over. But for the past two nights in a row, Ive gone to sleep on the couch, then woken up standing in the middle of the kitchen, fully clothed, with no idea how I got there. Avaris using me to kill people, and I have to make it stop.
You will. We will. Ill help you. But I wasnt sure how to even begin, other than making sure no one fell asleep at school. Ever.
I stood to take my empty can into the kitchen, and his voice followed me. Thanks, but I dont think theres anything you can do. Im not sure theres much either of us can do.
Yeah, well, thats what Avari thought last time, and look how that turned out. I tossed the can into the recycle bin and pulled a fresh one from the fridge. We got you, Nash, and my dad out of the Netherworld and kept Avari from forcibly emigrating the entire population of Eastlake High.
Alec huffed, a harsh sound of skepticism. Unfortunately, that silver lining is overshadowed by one hell of a gray cloud. You and Nash took a wrong turn on the road to happily ever after, and Avaris practically got on-demand access to my body and my feeding abilities.
Avari doesnt get credit for driving a wedge between me and Nash, I insisted. Nash did that himself, and hes only letting Sabine drive that wedge deeper. I popped the tab on my soda as I crossed the living room again, then sank into my dads recliner. And as for you At least now that we know what hes doing, we have a shot at stopping him.
But the truth was that our shot was a long shot at best. The only thing keeping Avari in check before was the fact that he couldnt cross into the human world. And now that hed found a waynot to mention a very powerful weapon to wieldhe was virtually unstoppable. The hellion was playing by new rules, and wed have to adapt to them quickly to have any hope of stopping him.
Kaylee? Alecs voice was oddly soft and tentative, drawing me from grim thoughts.
Yeah?
What are you gonna do? I mean Are yougoing to tellpeople?
He meant my dad. My father had bent over backward to help Alec, out of gratitude. But if he found out that Alec was being used as Avaris murder weaponand that hed kept his species and abilities a secretmy dad would kick him out without a second thought. At the very least. He wouldnt let anyone or anything risk my safety, even if that meant turning his back on a friend.
I dont have anywhere else to go, Kay. Alec met my gaze frankly. I spent the past quarter of a century groveling for whatever crumbs of mercy fell from Avaris table, and the pickings were very, very slim. When I got back to the human world, I swore things would be different. Here, I have freedom and self-respect. And friends. But one word from you could take all that away. So Im begging you, Kaylee.
Alecs eyes watered, and I could see how much it cost him to beg for mercy, when he should have been way past such bruising necessities.
And I swear, itll never happen again. I wont let it. I spent two and a half decades trying to get free from Avari, and I am not going to let him use me here like he used me there. But I need your help. I need you to keep this quiet while I figure out how to keep him out of my body. And I swear on my life that Ill never let him use me to kill again.
I wanted so badly to believe him. He looked sincere, and he sounded sincere, and both my heart and my gut believed the agony and determination clear on his face. But what if I was wrong, and he was lying? What if hed known all along what Avari was doing, and they were working together?
Or what if, in spite of his best efforts, he couldnt stop Avari from using him? What if he knew this was the only thing keeping Avari from calling in every favor owed to him to get his former proxy back? What if Alec was willing to pay this priceto let innocent people diefor his freedom from the Netherworld, and now he was playing me for a fool to keep me quiet?
The soul-searing truth was that I no longer knew who I could trustmy own track record made that painfully clear.
Id trusted Nash, and hed lied to me. Id trusted Tod, and hed withheld the truth about what could happen to me in the Netherworld. Id trusted my family, and they had all lied to me about who and what I am, for almost my entire life.
The only person in the whole worldeither worldthat I was sure had never lied to me was Emma, and unfortunately, the reverse could not be said. Id lied to her countless times, trying to keep her safe from Netherworld elements.
My life was a tower of lies, and I could feel that tower leaning. One day it would fall and crush me, and everyone around me. But until then, all I could do was slap on some more mortar and cling to the framework of trust in humanity that held me upright. Even if I was contributing to my own eventual downfall.
