My Soul to Take
Page 42

Nash shrugged, obviously unbothered by the threat, and Tod twisted in his chair to face me fully. At first, I wasnt too fond of my job. The whole thing seemed pointless and sad, and just plain wrong at times. Once I actually refused an assignment and nearly got myself terminated. Im guessing thats what he wants you to hear.
Nash nodded on the edge of my vision, but I kept my focus on the reaper. Why would you refuse an assignment?
Tod exhaled in frustration. Or maybe embarrassment. I was working at the nursing home, and this little girl came with her parents to visit her grandmother. She choked on a peppermint her grandmas roommate gave her, and she was supposed to die. She was on the listall official. But when the time came, I couldnt do it. She was only three. So when a nurse showed up and gave her the Heimlich, I let her live.
What happened? My heart ached for the little girl, and for Tod, whose job conflicted with every ounce of compassion in my body. And in his, evidently.
My boss got pissed when I came back without her soul. He took her grandmothers instead, and when a shift opened up at the hospital, he passed me over and gave it to someone else. Anger darkened his eyes. I was stuck at the nursing home for nearly three more years before he finally moved me over here. And theres no telling how long itll be before I move up again.
But dont you think it was worth it? I couldnt help asking. The grandmother had already lived her life, but the little girl was just starting. You saved her life!
The reaper shook his head slowly, blond curls glimmering in the light overhead. It wasnt an even exchange. From the moment she was supposed to die, that little girl was living on borrowed time. Her grandmothers time. When you make an exchange, what youre really doing is trading one persons death date for anothers. That little girl died six months later, on the day her grandmother was originally scheduled to go.
That time I couldnt stop the tears. How can you stand it? I wiped at my eyes angrily with the napkin Nash handed me, glad I wasnt wearing much mascara.
Tod glanced at Nash, then his expression softened when he turned back to me. Its easier now that Im used to it. But at the time, I had to learn to trust the list. The master list is like the script from a playit shows every word spoken by every actor, and the show keeps going so long as no one deviates from it.
But that does happen, right? I wadded the napkin into a tight ball. Even if the list is infallible, the people arent. A reaper could deviate from the list, like you did with the little girl, right?
Nash shifted in his seat, drawing our attention before Tod could answer. You think those girls died in place of people who wereactually on the list? That they were exchanges?
I shook my head. Three in three days? Its still too much of a coincidence. But if Tod can deviate by not taking a soul, couldnt another reaper deviate by taking an extra one? Or three?
No. Tod shook his head firmly. No way. The boss would notice if someone turned in three extra souls.
I arched one brow at him. What makes you think he turned them in?
The reapers scowl deepened. You dont know what youre talking about. Its impossible.
Theres a way to find out. Nash eyed me somberly before turning his penetrating gaze on Tod. Youre rightwe cant get our hands on the list. But you can.
No. Tod shoved his chair back and stood. Across the cafeteria, the mother and children looked up, one little boy smeared from ear to ear with chocolate ice cream.
Sit down! Nash hissed, glaring up at him.
Tod shook his head and started to turn away from us, so I grabbed his hand. He froze the minute my flesh touched his and turned back to me gradually, as if every movement hurt. Please. I begged him with my eyes. Just hear him out.
The reaper slowly pulled his fingers from my grasp, until my hand hung in the air, empty and abandoned. He looked both angry and terrified when he sank back into his seat, now more than a foot from the table.
We dont need to see the whole thing, Nash began. Just the part from this weekend. Saturday, Sunday, and today.
I cant do it. He shook his head again, blond curls bouncing. You dont understand what youre asking for.
So tell us. I folded my hands on the table, making it clear that I had time for a long story. Even if I didnt.
Tod exhaled heavily and aimed his answer at me, pointedly ignoring Nash. Youre not talking about just one list. Master list is a misnomer. Its actually lots of lists. Theres a new master for every day, and my boss splits that up into zone, then shift. I only see the part for this hospital, from noon to midnight. Theres another reaper who works here the other half of the day, and I never see anything on his lists, much less the lists for other zones. Its not like I can just walk up to a coworker and ask to see his old lists. Especially if hes actually reaping independently.
Hes right. Thats too complicated. Nash sighed, closing his eyes. Then he opened them again and looked at me resolutely. We need the master list.
Tod groaned and opened his mouth to argue, but I beat him to it. No, we dont. We dont even need to see it.