Needing Her
Page 45
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“I’m on my way.”
“It’s about damn time! Freaking hell.”
I shook my head as I locked my door and ran down the hallway. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I saw you and Maci together, there’s no way you can tell me you didn’t care about her. I also know you’re Dylan and Dakota’s best friend, and I saw the way they flipped out over Bryce talking to their dad last night. For Maci, I wanted to hate you and castrate you. But I knew there was something about this whole situation that just didn’t make sense. After seeing the twins’ reaction, I started piecing it together. This phone call just confirmed my suspicions.”
“It was ugly when I told them about us. I can’t imagine it’s going to go over well when I get there—just be there for her now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Chapter Twelve
Maci
MY HAIR WAS naturally straight, I usually just messed with it enough that it had that just-fucked look. But even so, I used Amber’s flat iron to make sure it was perfect, before pulling it back in a low bun and stepping back to look at myself in the full-length mirror. Even with still having red hair, I hardly recognized the person staring back at me. My makeup was a little lighter, the nose ring was still out, my hair was smooth, and I looked like I probably belonged on Bryce’s arm with the black peacoat I had on over my cream long-sleeved shirt. But it wasn’t those changes that made me unrecognizable.
I usually smiled. I usually looked happy. Right now there was nothing, no emotion, no life in my eyes. I looked like I should be going to a funeral instead of a late Christmas Eve dinner with my family.
Forcing a smile, I immediately let it fall when it came across looking pained.
I shouldn’t be this upset about Connor, but I was. I shouldn’t have let myself fall in love with him, but I had. And at the moment, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through another family meal acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t.
Amber walked into our room and stopped quickly, a fake smile immediately pulling at her lips. “Don’t you look . . . different.”
“Why thank you, why don’t you just tell me I look like shit?”
Rolling her eyes, she crossed over to my bed and sat down. “Because you don’t. You’re really pretty, Maci. Like, you have no idea how much it pisses me off how gorgeous you are. You just don’t look a thing like my friend.”
“I don’t say anything when you endlessly go back and forth from blonde to brunette other than the fact that you’re killing your hair. You change the way you look, I’m changing—”
“You. You’re changing you, not the way you look.”
I blinked slowly at her and turned toward the door. “We talked about this—it’s time for me to grow up. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
“It’s Bryce’s version of you growing up. You don’t need to change anything about the way you look, and it’s killing me to watch you do this to yourself. You’re trying to kill off my best friend. You’re shutting her up. You’re hiding her, however you want to see it, but you and I both know you won’t be happy like this.”
I stopped at the door and turned on her, whispering in case anyone was in the hall. “You only think that because I’m not happy right now. I’m going to be fine, I’m growing up, and I’m moving on. If you have a problem with it, then get the f**k over it. I don’t need my best friend telling me that I shouldn’t be a certain way!”
Amber’s head jerked back, and her eyes got massive.
“Look, I know I’m being mean right now, but you have no idea how tired I am of everyone constantly telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. You always told me not to see Bryce, and now you’re telling me not to change the way I look. My brothers won’t let me date anyone and are incessantly bugging me about that. Bryce always told me to stop cussing and told me I had to change the way I look because I looked like a mistress instead of a wife. And for some goddamn reason, every man in my life except for my dad is telling me to grow up. Obviously, whatever I’ve been doing is wrong, so I’m changing that. The only person who is just telling me to be who I want to be is my mom, and I can’t even tell her about being in love with someone because it will get back to my brothers. Do you understand how f**king tired I am?”
She blinked quickly and looked away for a second. “Yeah, I’m sor—”
“I’m always hiding a part of me, there is only one person who has ever gotten all of me. My family gets a certain Maci, my friends get a certain Maci, and Bryce had a certain Maci. Connor had all of me . . . the good and the bad. For the first time I didn’t have to hide a part of my life or my personality, and it was so freeing. But he didn’t want me; I didn’t mean anything to him. And like everyone else, he told me to grow up. So I am. Can you please just be okay with that?” I wiped at my eyes and blinked back the wetness in them.
“Maci, I called—”
The door swung open and my mom popped her head in. “Dinner is about done, you ready? You both look beautiful.”
“Thanks, Mom, we’re coming up.”
She focused on my eyes for a few seconds, but smiled and shut the door behind her as she left.
“What were you going to say?”
Amber chewed on her bottom lip and shifted her weight. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said to you. I just didn’t want you to change because of what Bryce said, and—and I’m just sorry,” she said as she walked past me and opened the door again. “Be whoever you want, and date whomever you want; I’ll love you the same.”
“It’s about damn time! Freaking hell.”
I shook my head as I locked my door and ran down the hallway. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I saw you and Maci together, there’s no way you can tell me you didn’t care about her. I also know you’re Dylan and Dakota’s best friend, and I saw the way they flipped out over Bryce talking to their dad last night. For Maci, I wanted to hate you and castrate you. But I knew there was something about this whole situation that just didn’t make sense. After seeing the twins’ reaction, I started piecing it together. This phone call just confirmed my suspicions.”
“It was ugly when I told them about us. I can’t imagine it’s going to go over well when I get there—just be there for her now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Chapter Twelve
Maci
MY HAIR WAS naturally straight, I usually just messed with it enough that it had that just-fucked look. But even so, I used Amber’s flat iron to make sure it was perfect, before pulling it back in a low bun and stepping back to look at myself in the full-length mirror. Even with still having red hair, I hardly recognized the person staring back at me. My makeup was a little lighter, the nose ring was still out, my hair was smooth, and I looked like I probably belonged on Bryce’s arm with the black peacoat I had on over my cream long-sleeved shirt. But it wasn’t those changes that made me unrecognizable.
I usually smiled. I usually looked happy. Right now there was nothing, no emotion, no life in my eyes. I looked like I should be going to a funeral instead of a late Christmas Eve dinner with my family.
Forcing a smile, I immediately let it fall when it came across looking pained.
I shouldn’t be this upset about Connor, but I was. I shouldn’t have let myself fall in love with him, but I had. And at the moment, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through another family meal acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t.
Amber walked into our room and stopped quickly, a fake smile immediately pulling at her lips. “Don’t you look . . . different.”
“Why thank you, why don’t you just tell me I look like shit?”
Rolling her eyes, she crossed over to my bed and sat down. “Because you don’t. You’re really pretty, Maci. Like, you have no idea how much it pisses me off how gorgeous you are. You just don’t look a thing like my friend.”
“I don’t say anything when you endlessly go back and forth from blonde to brunette other than the fact that you’re killing your hair. You change the way you look, I’m changing—”
“You. You’re changing you, not the way you look.”
I blinked slowly at her and turned toward the door. “We talked about this—it’s time for me to grow up. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
“It’s Bryce’s version of you growing up. You don’t need to change anything about the way you look, and it’s killing me to watch you do this to yourself. You’re trying to kill off my best friend. You’re shutting her up. You’re hiding her, however you want to see it, but you and I both know you won’t be happy like this.”
I stopped at the door and turned on her, whispering in case anyone was in the hall. “You only think that because I’m not happy right now. I’m going to be fine, I’m growing up, and I’m moving on. If you have a problem with it, then get the f**k over it. I don’t need my best friend telling me that I shouldn’t be a certain way!”
Amber’s head jerked back, and her eyes got massive.
“Look, I know I’m being mean right now, but you have no idea how tired I am of everyone constantly telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. You always told me not to see Bryce, and now you’re telling me not to change the way I look. My brothers won’t let me date anyone and are incessantly bugging me about that. Bryce always told me to stop cussing and told me I had to change the way I look because I looked like a mistress instead of a wife. And for some goddamn reason, every man in my life except for my dad is telling me to grow up. Obviously, whatever I’ve been doing is wrong, so I’m changing that. The only person who is just telling me to be who I want to be is my mom, and I can’t even tell her about being in love with someone because it will get back to my brothers. Do you understand how f**king tired I am?”
She blinked quickly and looked away for a second. “Yeah, I’m sor—”
“I’m always hiding a part of me, there is only one person who has ever gotten all of me. My family gets a certain Maci, my friends get a certain Maci, and Bryce had a certain Maci. Connor had all of me . . . the good and the bad. For the first time I didn’t have to hide a part of my life or my personality, and it was so freeing. But he didn’t want me; I didn’t mean anything to him. And like everyone else, he told me to grow up. So I am. Can you please just be okay with that?” I wiped at my eyes and blinked back the wetness in them.
“Maci, I called—”
The door swung open and my mom popped her head in. “Dinner is about done, you ready? You both look beautiful.”
“Thanks, Mom, we’re coming up.”
She focused on my eyes for a few seconds, but smiled and shut the door behind her as she left.
“What were you going to say?”
Amber chewed on her bottom lip and shifted her weight. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said to you. I just didn’t want you to change because of what Bryce said, and—and I’m just sorry,” she said as she walked past me and opened the door again. “Be whoever you want, and date whomever you want; I’ll love you the same.”
