“But you’re not that person. You’re not instant intimacy. Oh sure, you have it with Adrian, but that’s something unique in your life.”
“I try. I do. They’re so close and they share everything and I just can’t sit and gossip and spill all my details with them. Not like they do with each other.”
Jules squeezed her hand. “Baby, they understand. They can’t possibly expect you to be as close to them as they are with each other. I don’t know them as well as you do, obviously, but they seemed to like you. Has anyone said anything?”
“No. Of course not. They’re all very nice people. And I do like them and want to get to know them better.”
“You need time, and they’re not dumb. They’ll give you that time and you’ll all get to know each other, and one of these days you’ll be as comfortable as they all are. You’re worth the wait to get to know. Did you have fun at least?”
She sighed happily and dug into the slice of pear tart that had appeared before her. “My favorite. I missed this too. As for fun? I did. I feel like a character from a novel. He sort of swept me off my feet. A helicopter ride. A house with a pool and a boat dock. Though we also had paparazzi. I didn’t like that part.
“Still, Adrian took us for lavish dinners and filled our bedroom with dozens of roses. And he continued the scary movie campaign, as if he needed to. Every night at his place in Whistler we had a movie marathon. I’m already head over heels in love with the man.”
“Aw, he totally loves you. He wants to spoil you.”
“I know. It’s adorable. But, I haven’t told him about my father yet. I know I should, so get that look off your face. But I can’t. I start to bring it up and then I freeze.”
“I didn’t get any look. Not like you think. I feel like this is something you should tell him just because it will eventually come out and you should control the how and when of it. But your father is not part of your life. He never was. Ronnie Pete was some dude your mother boned for a while and then he pushed off and did his own thing for another fifteen years until it all caught up to him. You don’t know him. You are only his daughter in the most minimal sense. Stop trying to own what he did as if you had any say.”
Gillian had known Jules would say what she needed to hear. This was the kind of connection the Browns and Copelands had. It was what kept Gillian going even on days when she was absolutely sure she wasn’t going to make it. And she couldn’t leave it behind even if she wanted to.
“I love you.”
“Right back atcha, sister. Now, tell me true, are you going to move to Seattle to be with him?”
That was the big question, now wasn’t it?
Gillian found herself on her hands and knees, hair covered by a bandana, scrubbing her kitchen floor because that’s what she did whenever she needed to think. That or ironing, and she didn’t want to face that today.
There were things she knew to be totally true. First, that Miles needed his father. If that hadn’t been apparent already, the way Miles and Adrian had bonded on the holiday trips they’d all taken would have made it so. They clicked. Adrian made Miles happy and it definitely went the other way too.
Adrian had to make some dad-type decisions while they were in Florida and then in Whistler. Enough to make himself the bad guy on more than one occasion. Miles had been startled, but afterward, he’d been even more at ease with his dad. As if he knew Adrian really was his father and would take care of him.
It had been a bittersweet realization for Gillian. She wanted them to be close, but it was hard to share the governance of Miles’s life with someone else.
And yet, sharing him, being a family the way they had, had lodged in her belly. Miles was still with his dad in Seattle, opting to spend one more night there. Adrian had wanted her there too, but she needed some time to think.
Things between them had gotten very serious.
Four months they’d had, and at least a month of that time she’d spent fighting with him and thinking he was a jerk. It was one thing to have this romance with him. But moving in meant a whole new level of commitment and intimacy. More than she’d ever had with anyone before.
The way she felt for Adrian wasn’t just a crush. It wasn’t just love. He was that puzzle piece she’d been missing. He was, to be blunt and all since she was scrubbing the floor and this was a discussion in her head, her mate.
That meant something. It meant something to that girl who never had much of anything or anyone until Gran had come into her life. Never understood that depth of love and devotion you could feel for another person until she’d held Miles. And even that wasn’t the same. Not the same as the way Adrian made her feel. Tough and ready for anything. Safe. Loved. Confident.
A tattooed, bad-boy rock star with a big, tight family and a heart to match. There’d never been a more unlikely man for her! But they made sense, despite all their spats and the way they fought and then f**ked. They worked. They clicked. She knew she got him in ways most others didn’t. She also knew he did the same with her.
She didn’t doubt they could live together well, though there were still problems.
The biggest problem was that she didn’t want to move away from Bainbridge and the relationships and community she and Miles had built there.
She was sure that made her selfish. After all, Miles probably would flourish at a private school. But it had taken the boy a long time to make the friends he’d made and it wasn’t as easy as starting a new band as Adrian seemed to think.
“I try. I do. They’re so close and they share everything and I just can’t sit and gossip and spill all my details with them. Not like they do with each other.”
Jules squeezed her hand. “Baby, they understand. They can’t possibly expect you to be as close to them as they are with each other. I don’t know them as well as you do, obviously, but they seemed to like you. Has anyone said anything?”
“No. Of course not. They’re all very nice people. And I do like them and want to get to know them better.”
“You need time, and they’re not dumb. They’ll give you that time and you’ll all get to know each other, and one of these days you’ll be as comfortable as they all are. You’re worth the wait to get to know. Did you have fun at least?”
She sighed happily and dug into the slice of pear tart that had appeared before her. “My favorite. I missed this too. As for fun? I did. I feel like a character from a novel. He sort of swept me off my feet. A helicopter ride. A house with a pool and a boat dock. Though we also had paparazzi. I didn’t like that part.
“Still, Adrian took us for lavish dinners and filled our bedroom with dozens of roses. And he continued the scary movie campaign, as if he needed to. Every night at his place in Whistler we had a movie marathon. I’m already head over heels in love with the man.”
“Aw, he totally loves you. He wants to spoil you.”
“I know. It’s adorable. But, I haven’t told him about my father yet. I know I should, so get that look off your face. But I can’t. I start to bring it up and then I freeze.”
“I didn’t get any look. Not like you think. I feel like this is something you should tell him just because it will eventually come out and you should control the how and when of it. But your father is not part of your life. He never was. Ronnie Pete was some dude your mother boned for a while and then he pushed off and did his own thing for another fifteen years until it all caught up to him. You don’t know him. You are only his daughter in the most minimal sense. Stop trying to own what he did as if you had any say.”
Gillian had known Jules would say what she needed to hear. This was the kind of connection the Browns and Copelands had. It was what kept Gillian going even on days when she was absolutely sure she wasn’t going to make it. And she couldn’t leave it behind even if she wanted to.
“I love you.”
“Right back atcha, sister. Now, tell me true, are you going to move to Seattle to be with him?”
That was the big question, now wasn’t it?
Gillian found herself on her hands and knees, hair covered by a bandana, scrubbing her kitchen floor because that’s what she did whenever she needed to think. That or ironing, and she didn’t want to face that today.
There were things she knew to be totally true. First, that Miles needed his father. If that hadn’t been apparent already, the way Miles and Adrian had bonded on the holiday trips they’d all taken would have made it so. They clicked. Adrian made Miles happy and it definitely went the other way too.
Adrian had to make some dad-type decisions while they were in Florida and then in Whistler. Enough to make himself the bad guy on more than one occasion. Miles had been startled, but afterward, he’d been even more at ease with his dad. As if he knew Adrian really was his father and would take care of him.
It had been a bittersweet realization for Gillian. She wanted them to be close, but it was hard to share the governance of Miles’s life with someone else.
And yet, sharing him, being a family the way they had, had lodged in her belly. Miles was still with his dad in Seattle, opting to spend one more night there. Adrian had wanted her there too, but she needed some time to think.
Things between them had gotten very serious.
Four months they’d had, and at least a month of that time she’d spent fighting with him and thinking he was a jerk. It was one thing to have this romance with him. But moving in meant a whole new level of commitment and intimacy. More than she’d ever had with anyone before.
The way she felt for Adrian wasn’t just a crush. It wasn’t just love. He was that puzzle piece she’d been missing. He was, to be blunt and all since she was scrubbing the floor and this was a discussion in her head, her mate.
That meant something. It meant something to that girl who never had much of anything or anyone until Gran had come into her life. Never understood that depth of love and devotion you could feel for another person until she’d held Miles. And even that wasn’t the same. Not the same as the way Adrian made her feel. Tough and ready for anything. Safe. Loved. Confident.
A tattooed, bad-boy rock star with a big, tight family and a heart to match. There’d never been a more unlikely man for her! But they made sense, despite all their spats and the way they fought and then f**ked. They worked. They clicked. She knew she got him in ways most others didn’t. She also knew he did the same with her.
She didn’t doubt they could live together well, though there were still problems.
The biggest problem was that she didn’t want to move away from Bainbridge and the relationships and community she and Miles had built there.
She was sure that made her selfish. After all, Miles probably would flourish at a private school. But it had taken the boy a long time to make the friends he’d made and it wasn’t as easy as starting a new band as Adrian seemed to think.
