Not Quite Enough
Page 22

Monica returned her attention to the sunrise and smiled. It really was spectacular. For a brief moment, she forgot why she was in Jamaica and just enjoyed the sky.
Noise from the back of the house indicated that Trent fired up the generator so he could brew the coffee.
Her mouth salivated with the thought.
Her limbs started to twitch with a need to move. Letting Trent do all the work didn’t feel right. Monica unfolded from the chair and walked inside. Trent stood over the sink, one hand poised on each side. He was staring out the window lost in his own thoughts.
He was a million miles away… and Monica was disturbing him.
She started inching her way back outside when Ginger took that moment to bark from behind Monica.
Trent’s eyes traveled to her and narrowed before they slid down her frame.
Monica wasn’t sure if it was admiration or discontent, but she knew something about the man had changed from the moment she stepped outside to watch the sunrise. She crossed her arms over her chest, aware for the first time that she wasn’t dressed for mixed company… especially with whom she wasn’t intimate. “Did you need some help?”
Trent shook his head and turned away, opened a cabinet. “I got it.” His tone was gruff.
She suddenly felt very exposed and extremely unwanted. “I’ll shower then,” she said just as quickly.
“The water’s not warm yet.”
“It’s OK, a cold shower will wake me up.” Besides, this room was cold enough to chill her. Being alone with cold water would feel better.
She started toward the guest bathroom when Trent’s voice stopped her. “Monica?”
A rush of unwanted and unexpected tears filled her eyes. She hesitated and felt her throat clog. “On second thought,” she said with only a slight tremor in her voice. “A quick run will give me the jolt I need for today.”
He called her name again, but she fled to the room she’d slept in and closed the door behind her. She wasn’t sure what had changed… changed before either of them could act on the sparks that were obvious between them, but she was glad for it. She didn’t do tears and heartache. Disappoint them first. Leave before either of them could care was even better.
Apparently she and Trent would be a “leave him with only a thought,” which was better.
He’d probably be terrible in bed. A sloppy kisser. All wet with no meat.
Two minutes later, she pushed out of her room, her running shoes on and the one pair of running shorts donned. She’d seen the stairs that led down the steep cliff below Trent’s home and let the early morning light lead the way. She didn’t hear anything in the house as she snuck away.
Not long after her shoes hit the beach, she heard a bark behind her.
Ginger.
Thankfully Trent wasn’t behind the dog. The tightening in her chest was relief and not disappointment, or so she told herself. A quick run would clear her head; bring her back to her own level of homeostasis. A word she didn’t know existed before she went to nursing school. Her state of normalcy had always included a void of some sort in her life.
Even those years when she lived with Jessie and Danny, life had never been truly complete.
Monica called the dog and took off at a fast run.
Just thinking of Jessie reminded Monica of home. Home being nothing more than an empty apartment in an inland suburb of California surrounded by other people just trying to make a buck and pay the rent. The apartment was empty now that Jessie had moved to Texas, and it appeared that Katie and Dean would be moving back to Texas as well since Dean’s construction company was expanding. The move made sense. Both Katie’s and Dean’s families lived in the big state and they couldn’t get enough of their daughter, Savannah.
For Monica, however, not having Katie nearby, and with Jessie spending less and less time in California, made her feel strangely empty.
Where did that leave her?
In a go nowhere place, way too close to her mother.
If there was one person on the face of the earth that didn’t get her it was Renee. Her mother shacked up with whoever the latest guy was, and moved on when the sex grew stale.
Monica didn’t even know her dad. He left when she was hardly out of diapers and she certainly didn’t remember him. He was an enigma. A useless mystery, but a giant question mark in Monica’s life nonetheless.
In short… everyone that should mean something to her had moved on.
Monica leapt over debris swept up by the tsunami and kept running. Ginger thought it was a game and ran ahead only to stop, pant, and keep going when Monica caught up.
People moved on.
Just like Monica would do with the people she’d come in contact with here on the island.
Just like with Trent.
She’d known him for what, three days? Why did she care that he’d seemed desperate for her to leave his space?
Because rejection sucked.
I should be used to it by now.
Monica pushed her body harder, dodged the foamy sea as it rushed her way, and kept going.
The sea stopped her progression with an outcropping of rocks, forcing her to turn back.
She wasn’t ready, but unless she wanted to go for a swim, she’d have to run back to Trent’s home and suffer his indifference through a stiff coffee and a ride back to the clinic.
She’d find a way to avoid him after that.
And she’d be all right. The Ice Queen didn’t crack.
Trent sat on the steps leading to his home. Waiting for her.