Nowhere But Here
Page 101
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“Oz.” Cyrus appears in the doorway and it takes every ounce of self-control to not kiss her again. Those big doe eyes are begging me to find a way to fix this now and stay, but unlike Chevy, I don’t know magic.
“You need to head home,” Cyrus states.
Home. His words are a kick to the gut. Once upon a time, he would say home and mean here. “Guess when it comes down to it, I’m not family, after all.”
Emily extends her fingers to me and I quickly squeeze them. I love you.
I release her and stalk past Cyrus, shutting her door behind me. She needs space and they need to give it.
Cyrus mumbles something under his breath to me. Something to make his words sting less, but I don’t listen. Olivia stands in the living room and she grabs my arm as I stride past.
“This is your home.” Her fingers dig into my skin. “Don’t you dare walk away from here and think differently.”
I rub a hand over my face and point down the hallway. “Why did they lie to her? She’s not in there bleeding because he went to prison. She’s in there bleeding because he lied. Again and fucking again. Even now, he’s not going to tell her, is he? He’s not even going to try to explain his side of what happened. She’s in there sympathizing with her mother when she doesn’t even know the whole story. She doesn’t know that her uncle tried to hurt them.”
“You didn’t tell her?” Eli emerges from the kitchen. The dull lamplight coming from the table next to the couch where Violet shrinks casts an odd shadow over him.
“I kept my word to you and didn’t tell her, but I should. I should go in there and tell her everything I know.”
“Then who did tell her?” Eli asks.
I keep eye contact with him and purposely ignore that Violet exists. For all her faults in the past few months, I still love her and I will never rat her out. I’ll protect her because that is what family does. “You either tell Emily the truth before she goes home or I will.”
I show Eli my phone containing her numbers and a muscle in his jaw ticks.
“That is not your decision to make,” he says.
“Since I’m in love with her, it is my decision.”
It’s like the air is sucked out of the room as Eli and I glare each other down. I sense the million questions forming in everyone’s mind, but Olivia sticks with what’s currently important. “I’ve told you before, Oz, you don’t know the whole truth.”
“Does anyone? Emily’s right. This entire family is messed up and dying. We all have cancer, problem is it’s the lies that are making it fester.”
I yank my keys out of my pocket. “Because I have always respected you, Eli, you have until she touches down in Florida to make it right with Emily or I’ll tell her the version I do know. Then you and Meg can decide on whatever lie you’re going to tell next.”
I told Emily that I never said I love you before and I was serious. Not to some girl and not to anyone else in my life. I decided to tell her because, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. Looking at Olivia as she watches her family implode, I finally understand that Emily isn’t the only person I’m going to lose.
I wrap my arms around Olivia and it doesn’t take long for her to hug me back. I kiss her cheek. “I love you.”
She presses her lips to my cheek and whispers, “I love you more.”
A lump forms in my throat and as fast as I let the moment happen, I abandon it and walk out the door.
Emily
MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER tried to kill my mother’s brother. My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother. I flip the cell in my hands over and over again as I complete the thought. It’s one in the morning. Oz tore off on his motorcycle a long time ago and like he promised he hasn’t contacted me. Yet I flip the phone over again.
My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother.
No wonder Mom ran and never looked back. No wonder she never told me about this and she refuses to discuss the past. How do you get over someone you loved trying to kill your family?
I’ve sat on the window seat watching the party aftermath. The clubhouse is still lit up like runway lights. The bonfire that had been raging before has now simmered down to where the logs glow red. A few stragglers hang out in the clubhouse and around the yard, but most everyone left shortly after my screaming fit with Eli.
Eli has stayed in the same spot since after Oz left and while I hate to admit it, it’s the reason why I’m sitting here. He leans a shoulder against one of the massive Lincoln log poles and peers out into the yard. Occasionally, he smokes a cigarette and I’ll watch as the red butt burns brightly in the dark night, but mostly he stands there and stares. All seventeen stars still on his arm. All the questions in my mind unanswered.
I know more now than I have before and yet the truth still eludes me.
My biological father, the man who treats me like a princess, the man who taught me how to drive his truck, tried to kill my mother’s brother.
It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense.
In less than twenty-four hours I’ll be heading home and I don’t trust anyone to tell me the truth...not my mother, not my father, not anyone. A few weeks ago, I believed everything my parents said, now I’ll second-guess.
My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother.
I slip off the window seat and crack the door to my room. Once in the hall, I spot Cyrus asleep in his recliner with his hand extended over, touching the top of Violet’s head. She’s curled up in a ball on the couch also sound asleep.
“You need to head home,” Cyrus states.
Home. His words are a kick to the gut. Once upon a time, he would say home and mean here. “Guess when it comes down to it, I’m not family, after all.”
Emily extends her fingers to me and I quickly squeeze them. I love you.
I release her and stalk past Cyrus, shutting her door behind me. She needs space and they need to give it.
Cyrus mumbles something under his breath to me. Something to make his words sting less, but I don’t listen. Olivia stands in the living room and she grabs my arm as I stride past.
“This is your home.” Her fingers dig into my skin. “Don’t you dare walk away from here and think differently.”
I rub a hand over my face and point down the hallway. “Why did they lie to her? She’s not in there bleeding because he went to prison. She’s in there bleeding because he lied. Again and fucking again. Even now, he’s not going to tell her, is he? He’s not even going to try to explain his side of what happened. She’s in there sympathizing with her mother when she doesn’t even know the whole story. She doesn’t know that her uncle tried to hurt them.”
“You didn’t tell her?” Eli emerges from the kitchen. The dull lamplight coming from the table next to the couch where Violet shrinks casts an odd shadow over him.
“I kept my word to you and didn’t tell her, but I should. I should go in there and tell her everything I know.”
“Then who did tell her?” Eli asks.
I keep eye contact with him and purposely ignore that Violet exists. For all her faults in the past few months, I still love her and I will never rat her out. I’ll protect her because that is what family does. “You either tell Emily the truth before she goes home or I will.”
I show Eli my phone containing her numbers and a muscle in his jaw ticks.
“That is not your decision to make,” he says.
“Since I’m in love with her, it is my decision.”
It’s like the air is sucked out of the room as Eli and I glare each other down. I sense the million questions forming in everyone’s mind, but Olivia sticks with what’s currently important. “I’ve told you before, Oz, you don’t know the whole truth.”
“Does anyone? Emily’s right. This entire family is messed up and dying. We all have cancer, problem is it’s the lies that are making it fester.”
I yank my keys out of my pocket. “Because I have always respected you, Eli, you have until she touches down in Florida to make it right with Emily or I’ll tell her the version I do know. Then you and Meg can decide on whatever lie you’re going to tell next.”
I told Emily that I never said I love you before and I was serious. Not to some girl and not to anyone else in my life. I decided to tell her because, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. Looking at Olivia as she watches her family implode, I finally understand that Emily isn’t the only person I’m going to lose.
I wrap my arms around Olivia and it doesn’t take long for her to hug me back. I kiss her cheek. “I love you.”
She presses her lips to my cheek and whispers, “I love you more.”
A lump forms in my throat and as fast as I let the moment happen, I abandon it and walk out the door.
Emily
MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER tried to kill my mother’s brother. My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother. I flip the cell in my hands over and over again as I complete the thought. It’s one in the morning. Oz tore off on his motorcycle a long time ago and like he promised he hasn’t contacted me. Yet I flip the phone over again.
My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother.
No wonder Mom ran and never looked back. No wonder she never told me about this and she refuses to discuss the past. How do you get over someone you loved trying to kill your family?
I’ve sat on the window seat watching the party aftermath. The clubhouse is still lit up like runway lights. The bonfire that had been raging before has now simmered down to where the logs glow red. A few stragglers hang out in the clubhouse and around the yard, but most everyone left shortly after my screaming fit with Eli.
Eli has stayed in the same spot since after Oz left and while I hate to admit it, it’s the reason why I’m sitting here. He leans a shoulder against one of the massive Lincoln log poles and peers out into the yard. Occasionally, he smokes a cigarette and I’ll watch as the red butt burns brightly in the dark night, but mostly he stands there and stares. All seventeen stars still on his arm. All the questions in my mind unanswered.
I know more now than I have before and yet the truth still eludes me.
My biological father, the man who treats me like a princess, the man who taught me how to drive his truck, tried to kill my mother’s brother.
It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense.
In less than twenty-four hours I’ll be heading home and I don’t trust anyone to tell me the truth...not my mother, not my father, not anyone. A few weeks ago, I believed everything my parents said, now I’ll second-guess.
My biological father tried to kill my mother’s brother.
I slip off the window seat and crack the door to my room. Once in the hall, I spot Cyrus asleep in his recliner with his hand extended over, touching the top of Violet’s head. She’s curled up in a ball on the couch also sound asleep.
