Nowhere But Here
Page 86

Ingesting the concept that she’s royalty, Emily fiddles with a loose string on the sleeve of my T-shirt. “As long as whatever I asked for didn’t interfere with what Cyrus or Eli wanted, right?”
She’s learning fast. “That’d be right.”
“Is that the reason why we’re friends? Because Eli told you to be?”
The sadness in her voice creates an ache in me. My fingers ease to the small of her back and I edge closer as I pull her to me. She doesn’t protest. Just places her other hand on my chest as those dark doe eyes search me for an answer.
“I’m done bullshitting you. At first, I was nice to you because Eli told me to stay near you and protect you. I...”
Emotion locks the words in my windpipe. I almost failed her and knowing what I could have lost if I had fucked up that night at the motel causes hurt and anger to weave together in my gut.
“I fell asleep the night I was supposed to be watching you at the motel. That mistake almost harmed you and almost cost me my chance at membership in the club. Following you around was my penance. But then being around you...”
There’s a reason why people shouldn’t talk at four in the morning. Exhaustion eliminates the ability to lie. It demolishes the ability to tiptoe around the truth. Emotions are too exposed and real. Heightened to the point of explosion.
My hand roams up her back until I can tunnel my fingers through her hair. I slide a chestnut lock between my thumb and forefinger and enjoy the silkiness as it falls back to her shoulder. Her breath catches and the sound causes my cells to spark to life.
“But being around me...what?” Emily whispers.
“You’re beautiful,” I say, and the honesty of my words stings. “You’re beautiful inside and out. I like how you challenge me. I like how I can never figure out what you’re going to do or say. I like how we’ve thrown weird shit in your direction and you take it like a pro.”
I cup her face with one hand and caress her soft skin. “I like how you smile and how you laugh. I like how you love and defend your family and I like how you’re trying to love mine. I love how you trust. But mostly, Emily, I like how I feel when I’m around you.”
Shit. My heart bursts as the words tumble out. “I’m falling for you.”
Emily
OZ’S FINGERS BECOME individual flames lapping against my skin and my whole body is on fire. Mom has warned me about boys like him. Boys who are dangerous. Boys who say pretty things. A voice in my head screams to run, but instead I lean into his touch.
“What’s going on between us?” I ask.
Oz shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know.”
“I like you,” I admit. More than like. Whenever I look at Oz it’s butterflies and tingles and it’s not just the fantasy of him kissing me that sends me into a tailspin. It’s the idea of him in general. I do like him. Enough that it feels an awful lot like I’m falling, too.
“I like you so much that I’m...” Terrified. Falling means scary things. Unknown things. And I don’t like scary or the unknown. “I’m not supposed to be falling for you.”
“Since the moment you walked into my life, I’ve wanted to crawl into your head and know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. You scare the hell out of me, and if your father knew how you constantly cross my mind, how badly I want to kiss you, he’d put a bullet in my brain.”
I shiver as Oz traces my lips. “Who are you referring to? Eli or my dad?”
Oz’s face lights up with his grin. “Both of them. I’ve seen Jeff around you and he looks capable of pulling the trigger. I’ve learned to never discount the ones wearing a tie. They’re the ones that scare the shit out of me.”
I laugh and Oz laughs with me. The bed shakes and the vibration shifts our bodies closer together. So much so that my breasts are flush against his chest, my toes nudge his and his thighs lie over mine. When the sound fades our eyes meet and the smiles vanish.
Our chests move in unison. My pulse thunders in my ears as it silently begs over and over again for Oz to kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
Oz drops his hand from my face. I grab it, hating the cold left behind. “Don’t.”
“You’re tired,” he says. “And we’re playing a dangerous game.”
But it’s a game I don’t want to stop playing. A gust of wind hits the trailer and the walls surrounding us creak. I weave my fingers through his. “Please stay.”
There’s a quaver to my voice. Being this near Oz makes me nervous. The thought of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, a return to the rhythm we had so quickly found when we kissed weeks ago is enough to cause me to tremble.
That day, we had grown into an inferno with a good reason to dampen the flames. But here, we’re alone and there would be nothing to prevent us from going further, searching for the more my body desires. I care for Oz. Oz cares for me, but is that enough to cushion the fall I’ll take if we succumb to the heightening attraction?
“You’re tired, Emily, and I want to kiss you until you breathe out my name, but there’s nothing good that will come out of this.”
Oz is right. I’m so tired I’m fuzzy; so filled with a need to kiss him I’m light-headed. But that isn’t the only reason I want him to stay.
The wind hits the trailer again and the roar of the trees sends a chill down my spine. At least at Olivia’s there was a huge open space between the cabin and the forest. But here, we’re in the thick of it. The dark enclosing us like a casket. “Just stay.”