Once and Again
Page 32
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“All my life, until you, I’d never felt that. Being with you made me feel beautiful. Smart and strong and perfect.” She snorted a laugh. “You loved me and then you made me feel like I didn’t even exist.”
He looked stricken and for a moment she felt bad. But just a moment.
“I’m sorry.” He sat up and leaned over to tuck her hair behind an ear. “I never meant to hurt you. I was careless. Careless and selfish and more like my dad than I want to admit. That I made you feel that way when you were so much to me, I’m ashamed of that.”
“I didn’t wait to hear your explanation. I couldn’t see you there with another person. Doing with her what you did with me. I had to go. I never thought you’d…” She shook her head. “It’s gone. Done. Past and neither of us can go back and change it.”
“Will you let me earn your trust again?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? But she was here in his room, naked to him physically and emotionally already. She’d never uttered those words to anyone after they’d broken things off. Sure she talked about it on the surface, but the rejection, feeling like she was totally nothing to him after she’d felt like everything, the shock of it had sent her reeling. Her confidence had taken a hit. She wouldn’t be who she was now if he hadn’t been such a careless ass.
She’d rebuilt herself and she’d done it for her. Not for a man. Not because someone else thought it was a good thing. She’d found a way to believe in herself and she’d done it on her own. She owed that to him in a twisted way.
“I don’t know, Nathan. Maybe we can work on it.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
She snorted. “No it isn’t. You want everything and you want it right now.”
He blushed and she found herself charmed again, by this man she’d shared so much of her life with. By this man who’d been her friend before her lover and just might be her friend again.
“I have that problem when it comes to you. But I’ll try to rein it in.” He slid the pad of his thumb over the swell of her bottom lip and sent shivers through her.
He leaned her back to the bed. “I think we should go again. I found two condoms.”
Chapter Nine
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
She narrowed her gaze at Chris and handed him a paintbrush. “I’m the only one who gets to say that. You think I wanted to get up on Sunday morning to watch you paint? Now get to work before I change my mind and go get a switch.”
He started to argue but apparently the memories of their grandpa and his peach switches to take care of major infractions when they were growing up was enough to get him past that urge.
“You grafitti’d someone’s fence because you and your stupid friends thought it’d be fun. Friends you were forbidden to see, I hasten to add. Well now you can paint it to undo your work.” She moved to the nearby lawn chair and sat, taking the tea Shannon Belfort had brought out. “Mrs. Belfort here is willing to forgo calling up Sheriff Chase in exchange for this paint job so you’ll say thank you ma’am and get working.”
To his credit, Chris did exactly that.
Mrs. Belfort chuckled and passed over a plate of cookies. “Needed a painting anyway. My Frank has been bellyaching about this fence for three years. Thank you, Christopher, for taking care of it. Now mind you, if I catch you and those boys here with a spray-paint can again, I’m gonna let the dogs out. You hear?”
Chris nodded and got back to work. He hadn’t said which boys he’d been out with, but she’d caught him red handed. Literally red handed—because he’d used red paint and no gloves—and had marched him up to the Belforts’ front door and made him apologize and offer to undo his mess.
A silly way to spend a Sunday afternoon she thought. She’d been up late piecing together a pretty coatdress she planned to list on the website she had put together with some great advice from Nathan’s sister Jill, who worked at a marketing firm in Atlanta. So far, Lily had sold several pieces already in stock.
Even worse, she was supposed to be over at Tate’s at that moment having barbecue and looking at Nathan’s butt. But it had to be done and she planned to make Chris paint the fence at home too. This behavior of his would only get worse if they didn’t react to it swiftly and with a heavy hand.
Her mother seemed only mildly disturbed, though she’d been supportive enough as Lily had lit into her brother about this sort of behavior. She’d planned to have the big discussion about her mother’s deteriorating behavior that morning when Chris would be off with his youth group. She’d do it the following day when he was back in school. It wasn’t as if Pamela actually parented Chris anymore anyway.
It made Lily sad and very tired. But there was nothing else to be done but what she was doing.
“I hear you take pictures.”
After she got her cookie chewed and swallowed, she nodded. “Yes, something like that.” She was good with a camera after all. Had the gear and the ability.
“My youngest just got engaged. He wants pictures. Or, well you know his little girlfriend wants them for the paper and such. What would you charge for such a thing?”
“After my brother ruined your fence?”
Mrs. Belfort laughed and patted Lily’s knee. “Honey, my youngest? The one getting hitched? He’s broken windows and gotten liquored up in Charlie Duke’s barn a time or two. Not many families in Petal who can claim their children never got up to mischief. Then again, not many of ’em would have brought those kids round to make amends neither. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, what do you charge?”
He looked stricken and for a moment she felt bad. But just a moment.
“I’m sorry.” He sat up and leaned over to tuck her hair behind an ear. “I never meant to hurt you. I was careless. Careless and selfish and more like my dad than I want to admit. That I made you feel that way when you were so much to me, I’m ashamed of that.”
“I didn’t wait to hear your explanation. I couldn’t see you there with another person. Doing with her what you did with me. I had to go. I never thought you’d…” She shook her head. “It’s gone. Done. Past and neither of us can go back and change it.”
“Will you let me earn your trust again?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? But she was here in his room, naked to him physically and emotionally already. She’d never uttered those words to anyone after they’d broken things off. Sure she talked about it on the surface, but the rejection, feeling like she was totally nothing to him after she’d felt like everything, the shock of it had sent her reeling. Her confidence had taken a hit. She wouldn’t be who she was now if he hadn’t been such a careless ass.
She’d rebuilt herself and she’d done it for her. Not for a man. Not because someone else thought it was a good thing. She’d found a way to believe in herself and she’d done it on her own. She owed that to him in a twisted way.
“I don’t know, Nathan. Maybe we can work on it.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
She snorted. “No it isn’t. You want everything and you want it right now.”
He blushed and she found herself charmed again, by this man she’d shared so much of her life with. By this man who’d been her friend before her lover and just might be her friend again.
“I have that problem when it comes to you. But I’ll try to rein it in.” He slid the pad of his thumb over the swell of her bottom lip and sent shivers through her.
He leaned her back to the bed. “I think we should go again. I found two condoms.”
Chapter Nine
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
She narrowed her gaze at Chris and handed him a paintbrush. “I’m the only one who gets to say that. You think I wanted to get up on Sunday morning to watch you paint? Now get to work before I change my mind and go get a switch.”
He started to argue but apparently the memories of their grandpa and his peach switches to take care of major infractions when they were growing up was enough to get him past that urge.
“You grafitti’d someone’s fence because you and your stupid friends thought it’d be fun. Friends you were forbidden to see, I hasten to add. Well now you can paint it to undo your work.” She moved to the nearby lawn chair and sat, taking the tea Shannon Belfort had brought out. “Mrs. Belfort here is willing to forgo calling up Sheriff Chase in exchange for this paint job so you’ll say thank you ma’am and get working.”
To his credit, Chris did exactly that.
Mrs. Belfort chuckled and passed over a plate of cookies. “Needed a painting anyway. My Frank has been bellyaching about this fence for three years. Thank you, Christopher, for taking care of it. Now mind you, if I catch you and those boys here with a spray-paint can again, I’m gonna let the dogs out. You hear?”
Chris nodded and got back to work. He hadn’t said which boys he’d been out with, but she’d caught him red handed. Literally red handed—because he’d used red paint and no gloves—and had marched him up to the Belforts’ front door and made him apologize and offer to undo his mess.
A silly way to spend a Sunday afternoon she thought. She’d been up late piecing together a pretty coatdress she planned to list on the website she had put together with some great advice from Nathan’s sister Jill, who worked at a marketing firm in Atlanta. So far, Lily had sold several pieces already in stock.
Even worse, she was supposed to be over at Tate’s at that moment having barbecue and looking at Nathan’s butt. But it had to be done and she planned to make Chris paint the fence at home too. This behavior of his would only get worse if they didn’t react to it swiftly and with a heavy hand.
Her mother seemed only mildly disturbed, though she’d been supportive enough as Lily had lit into her brother about this sort of behavior. She’d planned to have the big discussion about her mother’s deteriorating behavior that morning when Chris would be off with his youth group. She’d do it the following day when he was back in school. It wasn’t as if Pamela actually parented Chris anymore anyway.
It made Lily sad and very tired. But there was nothing else to be done but what she was doing.
“I hear you take pictures.”
After she got her cookie chewed and swallowed, she nodded. “Yes, something like that.” She was good with a camera after all. Had the gear and the ability.
“My youngest just got engaged. He wants pictures. Or, well you know his little girlfriend wants them for the paper and such. What would you charge for such a thing?”
“After my brother ruined your fence?”
Mrs. Belfort laughed and patted Lily’s knee. “Honey, my youngest? The one getting hitched? He’s broken windows and gotten liquored up in Charlie Duke’s barn a time or two. Not many families in Petal who can claim their children never got up to mischief. Then again, not many of ’em would have brought those kids round to make amends neither. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, what do you charge?”
