Once and Always
Page 62

 Judith McNaught

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Tears raced down Victoria’s cheeks. She loved him so, and now she was going to lose him. She tried to speak, but the lump of anguish and fear in her throat strangled her voice and she could only squeeze Charles’s frail hand even tighter.
Charles turned his head on the pillow and looked at Jason. “You are so like me,” he whispered, “so stubborn. And now you will be as alone as I have always been.”
“Don’t talk,” Jason warned him, his voice harsh with sorrow. “Rest.”
“I can’t rest,” Charles argued weakly. “I can’t die in peace, knowing that Victoria will be alone. You will both be alone in different ways. She cannot remain under your protection, Jason. Society would never forgive . . .” His voice trailed off. Visibly fighting for enough strength to continue, he turned his head to Victoria.
“Victoria, you’re named after me. Your mother and I loved each other. I—I was going to tell you about all that someday. Now there is no more time.”
Victoria could no longer restrain her tears, and she bent her head, her shoulders shaking with wrenching sobs.
Charles dragged his gaze from her weeping form and looked at Jason. “It was my dream that you and Victoria would wed. I wanted you to have each other when I was gone. .. .”
Jason’s face was a taut mask of controlled grief. He nodded, the muscles working in his throat. “I’ll take care of Victoria—I’ll marry her,” he clarified quickly as Charles started to argue.
Victoria’s shocked, teary gaze flew to Jason’s face; then she realized that he was merely trying to ease Charles’s dying hour.
Wearily, Charles closed his eyes. “I don’t believe you, Jason,” he whispered.
Stricken with terror and desperation, Victoria dropped to her knees beside the bed, clutching Charles’s hand. “You mustn’t worry about us, Uncle Charles,” she wept.
Feebly turning his head on the pillow, Charles opened his eyes and stared at Jason. “Do you swear it?” he whispered.
“Swear to me that you will wed Victoria, that you will care for her always.”
“I swear it,” Jason said, and the fierce look in his eyes convinced Victoria that this was no charade on his part, after all. He was giving his oath to a dying man.
“And you, my child?” he said to Victoria. “Do you solemnly swear you will have him?”
Victoria tensed. This was no time to argue over former grievances and petty technicalities. The brutal fact was that without Jason, without Charles, she had no one else in the world, and she knew it. She remembered the heady delight of Jason’s kisses, and although she feared his surface coldness, she knew he was strong and he would keep her safe. What little was left of her half-formed plans to someday return on her own to America gave way to the more pressing need to survive and to ease Charles’s worry in his dying hours.
“Victoria?” Charles prodded feebly.
“I will have him,” she whispered brokenly.
“Thank you,” Charles murmured with a pathetic attempt at a smile. He pulled his left hand out from beneath the blanket, and grasped Jason’s hand. “Now I can die in peace.”
Suddenly Jason’s entire body tensed. His eyes jerked to Charles’s and his face became a cynical mask. With biting sarcasm, he agreed, “Now you can die in peace, Charles.”
“No!” Victoria burst out, weeping. “Don’t die, Uncle Charles. Please don’t!” Trying desperately to give him a reason to fight for his life, she sobbed, “If you die, you won’t be able to give me away at our wedding. . . .”
Dr. Worthing stepped forward from the shadows and gently helped Victoria to her feet. Nodding to Jason to follow him, he led her out into the hall. “That’s enough for now, my dear,” he said soothingly. “You’ll make yourself ill.”
Victoria raised her tear-streaked face to the physician. “Do you think he will live, Dr. Worthing?”
The kindly middle-aged physician soothingly patted her arm. “I’ll stay with him and let you know the moment there is any change.” And without a word of any real reassurance, he retreated back into the bedchamber, closing the door behind him.
Victoria and Jason went downstairs to the salon. Jason sat down beside her and, in a gesture of comfort, he put his arm around her, easing her head onto his shoulder. Victoria turned her face into his hard chest and sobbed out her grief and terror until there were no more tears left in her to shed. She spent the rest of the night in Jason’s arms, keeping a silent, prayerful vigil.
Charles spent the rest of the night playing cards with Dr. Worthing.
Chapter Nineteen
Early the following afternoon, Dr. Worthing was able to report that Uncle Charles was “still holding his own.” The next day, he came downstairs to the dining room where Jason and Victoria were having dinner and informed them that Charles “appeared to be much improved.”
Victoria could scarcely contain her joy, but Jason merely quirked a brow at the physician and invited him to join them for dinner.
“Er—thank you,” Dr. Worthing said, shooting a sharp look at Jason’s inscrutable features. “I believe I can leave my patient unattended for a short time.”
“I’m certain you can,” Jason replied blandly.
“Do you think he’ll recover, Dr. Worthing?” Victoria burst out, wondering how Jason could appear so utterly unemotional.
Carefully avoiding Jason’s assessing stare, Dr. Worthing directed his uneasy gaze at Victoria and cleared his throat. “It’s difficult to say. You see, he says he wants to live to see you two married. He’s most determined to do so. You might say that he’s clinging to that as a reason to live.”
Victoria bit her lip and glanced uneasily at Jason before asking the doctor, “What will happen if he starts to recover and we—we tell him we’ve changed our minds?”
Jason answered her in a bland drawl. “In that case, he’ll undoubtedly have a relapse.” Turning to the physician, he said coolly, “Won’t he?”
Dr. Worthing’s gaze skittered away from Jason’s steely eyes. “I’m sure you know him better than I, Jason. What do you think he’ll do?”
Jason shrugged. “I think he’ll have a relapse.”
Victoria felt as if life were deliberately tormenting her, taking away her home and the people she loved, forcing her to come to a strange foreign land, and now propelling her into a loveless marriage with a man who didn’t want her.