One Foot in the Grave
Page 13
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On the plus side, Don informed me that the two victims were at a hospital and were expected to make a full recovery. Little did he know it had taken a vampire's intervention to save them from a vampire's attack. Far be it from me to explain that irony to my boss.
Then I took a hot shower, washing all the remaining blood off me. If only it were so easy to get the mistakes from my life cleaned off. Bones's voice kept echoing in my head. I've been looking for you every day since you left me...You'll live as long as you want to, just as you are...You've had your shot at things, now let me have mine...
Yesterday, everything had made sense to me. I knew what I had to do, didn't question my decisions-though some had hurt me unbearably-and I knew the direction my life was headed in. Today, all that had changed. I had far more questions than convictions, didn't know what the hell I was doing, and had found out I might have far longer to f**k up my life than I'd previously imagined.
I wished I could talk to Denise. She had a way of cutting through the bullshit to find wisdom in chaos. But last night had been her wedding. Yeah, to say she was unavailable was to put it mildly.
I'd only call my mother if I wanted last-minute motivation to jump off a bridge. She was full of blind prejudice, not wisdom, and a call to her might make me seriously tempted to end it all. Though I had to admit, I was rather shocked that Don's first words to me earlier hadn't been "So where's the vampire from the wedding?" My mother hadn't tattled about Bones...yet. For her, that was showing remarkable restraint.
There was no one from my team I could discuss my personal upheaval with. Even those I counted as friends, Tate, Juan, and Cooper, couldn't be trusted with this.
Noah, well...I had to talk to him, all right, but it wouldn't be to confide my deepest secrets. It would be to tell him it was over between us. I'd let things go on too long, and that wasn't right. Already I was a shit; letting more time drag by just made me a bigger one.
I paced around the house for another hour, tired but knowing I'd never sleep. My cat got bored of chasing my ankles as I attempted to wear holes in the carpet, and went upstairs. Still I paced, Bones's words haunting me. I've been looking for you every day since you left me...You'll live as long as you want to, just as you are...You've had your shot at things, now let me have mine...
"Who am I kidding?" I finally asked out loud in frustration. I was less concerned about Ian's intentions to track me down, the contract on my life, or anything else, than about this: Did Bones and I actually have a chance together? With finding out about my longevity, the single biggest obstacle to our relationship had been removed. Sure, I worked for the government version of Graveslayers Inc. and my mother would rather poke needles in her eyes than see me date a vampire...but what if Bones was right? What if the two of us weren't hopeless together? God, after all these years, I could hardly believe I had a chance to ponder that again.
Now the question was, What was I willing to risk to find out?
Chapter Sixteen
DON REGARDED ME WITH TEMPERED CURIOSITY when I walked into his office later that day. It changed to suspicion when I shut the door and locked it behind me. Normally I had to be reminded to even close it.
"What's going on, Cat? You said it was urgent."
Yeah, I had. I'd thought about Bones saying Don knew the secret of my longevity, and it had gotten me good and mad. Time to rock the boat.
"See, Don, I have this question, and I hope you'll be honest with me."
He pulled at the end of his eyebrow. "I think you know you can count on my honesty."
"Can I?" I asked with an edge. "All right, then tell me: How long have you been f**king me?"
That caused him to stop tugging his brow. "I don't know what you're saying-"
"Because if I was going to f**k you," I interrupted, "I'd get a bottle of gin, some Frank Sinatra music...and a crash cart for the heart attack you'd have. But you, Don, you've been f**king me for years now, and I haven't gotten any liquor, music, flowers, candy, or anything!"
"Cat..." He sounded wary. "If you have a point, then get to it. This analogy is wearing thin."
"How old am I?"
"You just had a birthday; you know how old you are. You're twenty-seven-"
His desk crashed to the far side of the room, splintering in shards of mahogany. Papers flew, and his computer thumped to the carpet. It happened in less time than his shocked blink.
"How old am I?"
Don glanced at his demolished furniture before straightening and regarding me across the now-empty space between us.
"Nineteen or twenty, if you judge from your bone density and pathology reports. Your teeth match up to that as well."
The end of puberty, when my body apparently decided it was done aging. I gave a harsh chuckle.
"Guess I won't need to stock up on any Oil of Olay, will I? You ruthless motherfucker, were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just waiting to see if I lived long enough to notice?"
The pretense was gone from him, and if I didn't know better, I'd say he looked relieved.
"Eventually I was going to inform you, of course. When the time was right."
"Yeah, and you knew you had lots of it, didn't you? Who else knows?" I paced, keeping an eye on him as he sat calmly amid the ruins of his office.
"Tate, and the head pathologist here, Dr. Lang. His assistant, Brad Parker, probably."
"Did you tell Tate about the added decades to his own life? Or were you waiting for an 'opportune time' for that as well?"
Don changed from composed to uncomfortable in the space of those sentences. When he hesitated, I pounced.
"Don't even try to say you don't know what I'm talking about! You tested all of us that night in Ohio, and every f**king week after that as always. You didn't tell them?"
"I wasn't sure," he hedged.
"Well, let me assure you then! They had about a pint each of decently aged vampire blood. That'll give them, what? Another twenty years at least? You know, I always thought you forbade us from drinking straight blood because you worried we'd grow a taste for it, me especially, but you were concerned with more than that, weren't you? You already knew what it would do! How did you find that out?"
His tone was cold. "Someone I knew many years ago started out fighting on the right side like I did, then ended up liking the enemy more. He didn't age in decades. That's when I knew what vampire blood could do, and it's why the Brams is so minutely screened and filtered. It carries none of that dangerous poison in it."
"That poison you're referring to runs in half my DNA," I snapped. "Is that why you don't give a shit every time I go on an assignment that could get me killed? Because it's just one less snake to worry about?"
"At first it was," he brusquely rejoined, standing now also. He spread his arms in an encompassing gesture. "Look at you. You're like a time bomb covered in skin. All that power, all that inhuman ability...I used to believe you'd get bored with your limitations and shirk them off. Cross over completely. That's why I told Tate when you signed on to be prepared to kill you. But you never faltered, and you didn't succumb to the urge for more power. Frankly...it was inspirational."
Don smiled in a self-deprecating way. "Five years ago, I was quite disillusioned about the human character when exposed to supernatural influence. When I discovered you, I thought you'd crumble all the faster for what was in your blood. Yes, I sent you out on the riskiest missions first, in order to maximize your usefulness until you turned and had to be put down. That didn't happen, however. You, who carry in your genetic makeup the same corruption which has stumbled so many before you, proved to be the finest of us all. In short, and not to overdramatize, you made me hope again."
I stared at him. He didn't drop his eyes from my hard gaze. Finally I shrugged.
"I believe in what I'm doing, whether you believe in me or not. I'm taking a week off to contemplate this and figure out my next step. When I come back, we're having another talk, and this one will include Tate, Juan, and Cooper. You're going to tell them about the consequences of the blood they drank. And you're wrong about something, Don. It's not vampire blood that corrupts-it's whether the person who drinks it is corrupted to begin with. Hey, don't take my word for it, look at the guys. They felt that same power, felt how different it could make them...and yet they didn't turn evil. It doesn't twist who you are, it only increases it, for better or worse. Remember that, but I have a feeling I'll have to remind you."
"Cat."
Don stopped me as I kicked back the rubble to open the door.
"You are coming back, aren't you?"
I paused with a hand on the frame. "Oh, I'll be back. Whether you like it or not."
It didn't surprise me to feel the change of energy in my house later that night. I was in the kitchen, heating up a frozen dinner in the microwave, when suddenly I knew I wasn't alone.
"It's polite to knock," I said without turning around. "My front door's not broken, you know."
That feeling of power intensified as Bones walked in the kitchen.
"Yes, but this is more dramatic, don't you agree?"
My dinner beeped. I took it out of the microwave, grabbed a fork, and sat down at the dinette table. Bones took the seat opposite me, watching me with tempered wariness.
"I'm not bothering to offer you any," I said flippantly. "My neck and I both know you already ate."
A hint of a frown touched his mouth. "I told you that wasn't about feeding."
"No, it was about you making your point." I skewered a bite and chewed. "Next time, maybe use something other than my jugular as your Exhibit A?"
"It wasn't your jugular. That would have made you pass out too quickly, and I wanted you to have time to make your decision to kill me or not," Bones replied, holding my stare. "So I bit around your jugular. That's why it took longer...and why I could enjoy drawing your blood into me instead of just swallowing a gushing arterial flow."
That made me hesitate on my own swallow. Bones's eyes were swirling with green from the memory, like mint in chocolate, and if I were honest, I'd admit to an internal ripple of pleasure as well at the recollection. His bite could have passed for foreplay, it had felt that good.
But there were more important things to get down to, even though my libido certainly didn't agree.
"So," I said after I'd finished chewing. "You're hell-bent on not going away until this danger with Ian has passed and you've neutralized whoever's waving a check around for my corpse, right?"
Bones nodded. "That's right."
"And you probably followed me earlier when I went into work, just waiting to see if I'd try to fly the coop?"
A shrug. "Let's just say no plane would have made it off the ground there today."
My gaze hardened. "Then I suppose you followed me to Noah's afterward, and eavesdropped on that as well?"
Bones leaned forward with complete coldness on his face. "I normally would never harm someone innocent, but I admit to a certain lack of rationality when it comes to you. You saved that man's life by breaking up with him today, because if I'd have listened to anything else going on at his house, I would have snapped him in half."
"You would have tried," I ground out. "Noah doesn't believe in vampires, ghouls, or anything more supernatural than Santa Claus. You'd better not hurt him."
"Kitten, if I intended to kill Noah, I'd have done it before you even knew I was in town. But you could hardly expect me to twiddle my thumbs and listen to you shag him. Remember your response last night when I kissed Felicity?"
Yes, there had been that whole urge to rip her limb from limb. Vampire territorialism. It really didn't care who was innocent or not.
"Fine," I acknowledged. "We both still have feelings for each other. You think it can work despite my job and my mother's virulent hatred of vampires. Since you're refusing to leave anyway because of Ian and the contract out on me..."
He started to smile. "Are you waving the white flag?"
"Not so fast. I'm saying we can take things slow. See if it blows up in our faces. I'm not saying declare eternal love for each other while I fall back with my legs open."
His smile deepened. "There are alternate positions."
Those words-and the look in his eyes-rubbed me like a physical caress. I drew in a deep breath. That's why I'd decided on a celibacy mandate. No way could I keep a leash on my emotions if I threw sex into the mix. I'd be screaming out my undying love for Bones in five seconds flat.
"Take it or leave it."
"Done."
I blinked, part of me not believing what was happening. Was this real? Or just another crazy dream, one of thousands I'd had about Bones?
"Okay."
I didn't know what to say. Or do. Shake hands? Seal it with a kiss? Shout "Celibacy sucks!" and rip his clothes off? There should be an undead dating manual-I was lost here.
Bones cocked his head to the side, and then he let out a resigned noise.
"Kitten...your resolve is about to be put to the test sooner than you expected."
Huh? "What are you talking about?"
He stood up. "Your mum's here."
Chapter Seventeen
I LEAPT TO MY FEET. "OH SHIT!"
Panic made me try to walk without fully pulling my chair out, and I promptly tripped. So much for half-dead reflexes. Then I caught Bones out of the corner of my eye. "Er, what are you doing?"
Then I took a hot shower, washing all the remaining blood off me. If only it were so easy to get the mistakes from my life cleaned off. Bones's voice kept echoing in my head. I've been looking for you every day since you left me...You'll live as long as you want to, just as you are...You've had your shot at things, now let me have mine...
Yesterday, everything had made sense to me. I knew what I had to do, didn't question my decisions-though some had hurt me unbearably-and I knew the direction my life was headed in. Today, all that had changed. I had far more questions than convictions, didn't know what the hell I was doing, and had found out I might have far longer to f**k up my life than I'd previously imagined.
I wished I could talk to Denise. She had a way of cutting through the bullshit to find wisdom in chaos. But last night had been her wedding. Yeah, to say she was unavailable was to put it mildly.
I'd only call my mother if I wanted last-minute motivation to jump off a bridge. She was full of blind prejudice, not wisdom, and a call to her might make me seriously tempted to end it all. Though I had to admit, I was rather shocked that Don's first words to me earlier hadn't been "So where's the vampire from the wedding?" My mother hadn't tattled about Bones...yet. For her, that was showing remarkable restraint.
There was no one from my team I could discuss my personal upheaval with. Even those I counted as friends, Tate, Juan, and Cooper, couldn't be trusted with this.
Noah, well...I had to talk to him, all right, but it wouldn't be to confide my deepest secrets. It would be to tell him it was over between us. I'd let things go on too long, and that wasn't right. Already I was a shit; letting more time drag by just made me a bigger one.
I paced around the house for another hour, tired but knowing I'd never sleep. My cat got bored of chasing my ankles as I attempted to wear holes in the carpet, and went upstairs. Still I paced, Bones's words haunting me. I've been looking for you every day since you left me...You'll live as long as you want to, just as you are...You've had your shot at things, now let me have mine...
"Who am I kidding?" I finally asked out loud in frustration. I was less concerned about Ian's intentions to track me down, the contract on my life, or anything else, than about this: Did Bones and I actually have a chance together? With finding out about my longevity, the single biggest obstacle to our relationship had been removed. Sure, I worked for the government version of Graveslayers Inc. and my mother would rather poke needles in her eyes than see me date a vampire...but what if Bones was right? What if the two of us weren't hopeless together? God, after all these years, I could hardly believe I had a chance to ponder that again.
Now the question was, What was I willing to risk to find out?
Chapter Sixteen
DON REGARDED ME WITH TEMPERED CURIOSITY when I walked into his office later that day. It changed to suspicion when I shut the door and locked it behind me. Normally I had to be reminded to even close it.
"What's going on, Cat? You said it was urgent."
Yeah, I had. I'd thought about Bones saying Don knew the secret of my longevity, and it had gotten me good and mad. Time to rock the boat.
"See, Don, I have this question, and I hope you'll be honest with me."
He pulled at the end of his eyebrow. "I think you know you can count on my honesty."
"Can I?" I asked with an edge. "All right, then tell me: How long have you been f**king me?"
That caused him to stop tugging his brow. "I don't know what you're saying-"
"Because if I was going to f**k you," I interrupted, "I'd get a bottle of gin, some Frank Sinatra music...and a crash cart for the heart attack you'd have. But you, Don, you've been f**king me for years now, and I haven't gotten any liquor, music, flowers, candy, or anything!"
"Cat..." He sounded wary. "If you have a point, then get to it. This analogy is wearing thin."
"How old am I?"
"You just had a birthday; you know how old you are. You're twenty-seven-"
His desk crashed to the far side of the room, splintering in shards of mahogany. Papers flew, and his computer thumped to the carpet. It happened in less time than his shocked blink.
"How old am I?"
Don glanced at his demolished furniture before straightening and regarding me across the now-empty space between us.
"Nineteen or twenty, if you judge from your bone density and pathology reports. Your teeth match up to that as well."
The end of puberty, when my body apparently decided it was done aging. I gave a harsh chuckle.
"Guess I won't need to stock up on any Oil of Olay, will I? You ruthless motherfucker, were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just waiting to see if I lived long enough to notice?"
The pretense was gone from him, and if I didn't know better, I'd say he looked relieved.
"Eventually I was going to inform you, of course. When the time was right."
"Yeah, and you knew you had lots of it, didn't you? Who else knows?" I paced, keeping an eye on him as he sat calmly amid the ruins of his office.
"Tate, and the head pathologist here, Dr. Lang. His assistant, Brad Parker, probably."
"Did you tell Tate about the added decades to his own life? Or were you waiting for an 'opportune time' for that as well?"
Don changed from composed to uncomfortable in the space of those sentences. When he hesitated, I pounced.
"Don't even try to say you don't know what I'm talking about! You tested all of us that night in Ohio, and every f**king week after that as always. You didn't tell them?"
"I wasn't sure," he hedged.
"Well, let me assure you then! They had about a pint each of decently aged vampire blood. That'll give them, what? Another twenty years at least? You know, I always thought you forbade us from drinking straight blood because you worried we'd grow a taste for it, me especially, but you were concerned with more than that, weren't you? You already knew what it would do! How did you find that out?"
His tone was cold. "Someone I knew many years ago started out fighting on the right side like I did, then ended up liking the enemy more. He didn't age in decades. That's when I knew what vampire blood could do, and it's why the Brams is so minutely screened and filtered. It carries none of that dangerous poison in it."
"That poison you're referring to runs in half my DNA," I snapped. "Is that why you don't give a shit every time I go on an assignment that could get me killed? Because it's just one less snake to worry about?"
"At first it was," he brusquely rejoined, standing now also. He spread his arms in an encompassing gesture. "Look at you. You're like a time bomb covered in skin. All that power, all that inhuman ability...I used to believe you'd get bored with your limitations and shirk them off. Cross over completely. That's why I told Tate when you signed on to be prepared to kill you. But you never faltered, and you didn't succumb to the urge for more power. Frankly...it was inspirational."
Don smiled in a self-deprecating way. "Five years ago, I was quite disillusioned about the human character when exposed to supernatural influence. When I discovered you, I thought you'd crumble all the faster for what was in your blood. Yes, I sent you out on the riskiest missions first, in order to maximize your usefulness until you turned and had to be put down. That didn't happen, however. You, who carry in your genetic makeup the same corruption which has stumbled so many before you, proved to be the finest of us all. In short, and not to overdramatize, you made me hope again."
I stared at him. He didn't drop his eyes from my hard gaze. Finally I shrugged.
"I believe in what I'm doing, whether you believe in me or not. I'm taking a week off to contemplate this and figure out my next step. When I come back, we're having another talk, and this one will include Tate, Juan, and Cooper. You're going to tell them about the consequences of the blood they drank. And you're wrong about something, Don. It's not vampire blood that corrupts-it's whether the person who drinks it is corrupted to begin with. Hey, don't take my word for it, look at the guys. They felt that same power, felt how different it could make them...and yet they didn't turn evil. It doesn't twist who you are, it only increases it, for better or worse. Remember that, but I have a feeling I'll have to remind you."
"Cat."
Don stopped me as I kicked back the rubble to open the door.
"You are coming back, aren't you?"
I paused with a hand on the frame. "Oh, I'll be back. Whether you like it or not."
It didn't surprise me to feel the change of energy in my house later that night. I was in the kitchen, heating up a frozen dinner in the microwave, when suddenly I knew I wasn't alone.
"It's polite to knock," I said without turning around. "My front door's not broken, you know."
That feeling of power intensified as Bones walked in the kitchen.
"Yes, but this is more dramatic, don't you agree?"
My dinner beeped. I took it out of the microwave, grabbed a fork, and sat down at the dinette table. Bones took the seat opposite me, watching me with tempered wariness.
"I'm not bothering to offer you any," I said flippantly. "My neck and I both know you already ate."
A hint of a frown touched his mouth. "I told you that wasn't about feeding."
"No, it was about you making your point." I skewered a bite and chewed. "Next time, maybe use something other than my jugular as your Exhibit A?"
"It wasn't your jugular. That would have made you pass out too quickly, and I wanted you to have time to make your decision to kill me or not," Bones replied, holding my stare. "So I bit around your jugular. That's why it took longer...and why I could enjoy drawing your blood into me instead of just swallowing a gushing arterial flow."
That made me hesitate on my own swallow. Bones's eyes were swirling with green from the memory, like mint in chocolate, and if I were honest, I'd admit to an internal ripple of pleasure as well at the recollection. His bite could have passed for foreplay, it had felt that good.
But there were more important things to get down to, even though my libido certainly didn't agree.
"So," I said after I'd finished chewing. "You're hell-bent on not going away until this danger with Ian has passed and you've neutralized whoever's waving a check around for my corpse, right?"
Bones nodded. "That's right."
"And you probably followed me earlier when I went into work, just waiting to see if I'd try to fly the coop?"
A shrug. "Let's just say no plane would have made it off the ground there today."
My gaze hardened. "Then I suppose you followed me to Noah's afterward, and eavesdropped on that as well?"
Bones leaned forward with complete coldness on his face. "I normally would never harm someone innocent, but I admit to a certain lack of rationality when it comes to you. You saved that man's life by breaking up with him today, because if I'd have listened to anything else going on at his house, I would have snapped him in half."
"You would have tried," I ground out. "Noah doesn't believe in vampires, ghouls, or anything more supernatural than Santa Claus. You'd better not hurt him."
"Kitten, if I intended to kill Noah, I'd have done it before you even knew I was in town. But you could hardly expect me to twiddle my thumbs and listen to you shag him. Remember your response last night when I kissed Felicity?"
Yes, there had been that whole urge to rip her limb from limb. Vampire territorialism. It really didn't care who was innocent or not.
"Fine," I acknowledged. "We both still have feelings for each other. You think it can work despite my job and my mother's virulent hatred of vampires. Since you're refusing to leave anyway because of Ian and the contract out on me..."
He started to smile. "Are you waving the white flag?"
"Not so fast. I'm saying we can take things slow. See if it blows up in our faces. I'm not saying declare eternal love for each other while I fall back with my legs open."
His smile deepened. "There are alternate positions."
Those words-and the look in his eyes-rubbed me like a physical caress. I drew in a deep breath. That's why I'd decided on a celibacy mandate. No way could I keep a leash on my emotions if I threw sex into the mix. I'd be screaming out my undying love for Bones in five seconds flat.
"Take it or leave it."
"Done."
I blinked, part of me not believing what was happening. Was this real? Or just another crazy dream, one of thousands I'd had about Bones?
"Okay."
I didn't know what to say. Or do. Shake hands? Seal it with a kiss? Shout "Celibacy sucks!" and rip his clothes off? There should be an undead dating manual-I was lost here.
Bones cocked his head to the side, and then he let out a resigned noise.
"Kitten...your resolve is about to be put to the test sooner than you expected."
Huh? "What are you talking about?"
He stood up. "Your mum's here."
Chapter Seventeen
I LEAPT TO MY FEET. "OH SHIT!"
Panic made me try to walk without fully pulling my chair out, and I promptly tripped. So much for half-dead reflexes. Then I caught Bones out of the corner of my eye. "Er, what are you doing?"