One Foot in the Grave
Page 26

Acquaintances? My teeth ground. "That was the name he gave me when we first met. We are who we become, not who we start out as." He's not your boy toy anymore, got it?
"Indeed? Here I've always believed people truly never change from what they were to begin with."
"We'll see about that," I muttered.
With her numerous items weighing me down, we proceeded to the exit. As I followed behind her, I took the opportunity to study her. Her hair was shoulder-length and pale strawberry-blond, just lovely next to her peaches-and-cream skin. She was far more voluptuous than I, and about three inches shorter than my five-eight height. If she were human, I'd judge her to be in her mid-forties. That didn't sit in a negative column with her, though, because she gave off a smoldering, ripe sensuality that made youth look like a boring waste of time.
Bones took one look at me buried under all her luggage and vaulted over to assist. "Blimey, Annette. You should have told me how many bags you had!"
"Oh, forgive me, Cat," Annette chuckled in false apology. "I'm accustomed to having an underling travel with me."
"Don't mention it." Tightly. Underling! Who the hell did she think she was?
Luggage finally stored in the trunk, we drove off.
"When are the rest of our people arriving?" she queried, settling back in her seat. We drove a new vehicle, as my Volvo was known to Max. This was a loaded BMW. I'd ask Bones later where he got it.
"Today and tomorrow. By Friday, I reckon we'll all be in place."
Annette sniffed, though it wasn't like she needed to clear her nose. "I say, Crispin, how did Belinda get herself in Cat's little snare? I haven't seen her since your birthday six years ago, or was it five?"
"She got caught because she started running with a group who liked to bring home live meals."
There was something cold in his tone that perked my ears up even as Annette's smile grew sly.
"Terrible. She must have really changed. Wasn't it only five years ago that we three got together?"
Bones glared at her in the rearview mirror right as I translated "We three got together." I was betting it hadn't been for tea. And five years ago, Bones had been with me.
"Answer the question, honey. Was it six or five years ago that the three of you all fucked? See, Bones already told me that he'd screwed Belinda, Annette, but thank you for letting me know you participated also."
Bones pulled the car to the shoulder of the road.
"I won't tolerate such rudeness, Annette," he said, pivoting to face her. "She knows bloody well what you're implying, as you can see, and I don't know why you feel the need to throw that up at her. You also know that it was eight years ago, before I met her, and I'll thank you not to entertain her with any more recollections."
He sounded as pissed as I felt. Annette glanced at me before raising her brows in feigned innocence.
"I apologize. Perhaps it was the long flight which made me forget myself."
"Kitten." Bones looked at me. "Is that sufficient?"
No, it wasn't, and I'd have cheerfully thrown Her Majesty and her hundred pounds of baggage to the curb, but that wasn't mature.
"I think I can handle a little menage a trois reminiscing, but just for the record, Annette, you can forget any repeats involving the three of us."
"Wouldn't dream of it," she assured me with a gleam I caught from the rearview mirror. Oh, she and I weren't through. I'd bet my life on it.
The rest of the drive passed without incident. Annette made arrangements for alternate accommodations after tonight, to my relief. Bones planned to tell Ian next week that he'd found me, and he'd pretend to capture my three captains the following week. And somewhere in the midst of worrying about Ian, the safety of my men, my father actively trying to kill me, and Bones successfully winning his freedom, I had the image of Annette, Belinda, and Bones doing the na**d pretzel in my mind. Goddamn her. That was the last thing I needed to think about.
When Annette heard the part of the plan involving my men, she was fascinated.
"Mere humans? Willingly walking into Ian's den as his collateral? Oh, Crispin, you must let me meet them. Can we have them for supper tonight?"
"She better mean to dinner with real food on the table," I muttered.
"Why, Cat, that's precisely what I meant. Can't have me eating the bait, now can we?" She chuckled.
Bones glanced at me. I shrugged. "It's not such a bad idea to have them meet first. Maybe it will make them less jittery about this whole Army of Darkness thing." Or more so, depending on Annette.
"Whatever you like. I don't care. If they agree, I'll pick them up when I get Rodney. He's our other guest tonight."
"Rodney the ghoul?" How low I had slipped on the Humanity Totem Pole to be so excited about seeing a flesh-eater again, although that would complicate my menu. "Oh, I liked him. He didn't get angry no matter how many times my mother insulted him."
Bones gave me a sideways smile. He'd just finished taking Annette's bags to her room. She was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea. I sat on the couch with a tall glass of gin and tonic that was almost empty.
"Wait." I hated saying this in front of Queen Bitch, but whispering was redundant. "Is he...I mean, because of the last time we met...does he hate me?"
It was Rodney's house we'd been staying at years ago when I left Bones. The two of them had gone out on an errand, and there had no doubt been an unpleasant scene when they returned to find it empty.
Bones sat next me, setting my glass down.
"Of course he doesn't hate you. He was right sore at Don for threatening you, although we didn't know who'd done it then. As far as your mother-well. She didn't make a friend."
I gave a watery laugh. "She seldom does."
He leaned closer. "Actually, he's a bit unsettled himself about seeing you again, but not for that reason. Rodney thought perhaps you'd be upset with him over Danny."
Ah. I'd forgotten about that. The murder of my ex-boyfriend hadn't ranked high on my current list of worries. Poor Danny. He'd certainly regretted seducing me in a permanent way.
"That was more your doing than his, Bones. We've already been over that. Besides, he's coming to help."
"That's what I told him you'd say."
Miffed, I poked him in the chest. "You think you know everything?"
His hands caressed my back. "Not everything, but some things. I knew without a doubt I'd fallen in love when we met. Then I knew I'd do anything to make you feel the same way."
Annette's cup clattered to the table. "I'll take myself off to shower now."
Bones didn't even glance up. "Do that."
The bathroom door closed decisively behind her.
"You keep saying you fell in love right away, but you beat me unconscious, and you were so surly with me those first few weeks."
Bones chuckled. "You asked for that beating, and you'd have stomped me into submission if I'd shown you any weakness. Of course I didn't let on how I felt about you. You hated the very sight of me."
"I don't hate you now."
To prove the point, I gave a long, slow lick to his neck. He responded by gathering me up in his arms and heading toward the stairs.
I gasped at his clear intent. "Wait, I was teasing! We can't, she'd hear us!" Even with the shower running, we might as well have invited her to join us after all.
Bones kept going, climbing the steps three at a time, and then depositing me on the bed.
"I wasn't teasing, and I don't care." He kissed me thoroughly, tugging off my clothes. "We only have an hour. Let's not waste it."
Chapter Thirty
IT'LL TAKE ME ABOUT TWO HOURS TO FETCH Rodney and pick up your blokes, Kitten. Are you going to be all right with Annette until then?"
Bones was already running late. I was the reason for his tardiness, and I couldn't bring myself to care.
"Don't worry about it. If she gets really lippy, I have my silver." For emphasis, I glanced at the stack of weapons in the closet.
He snorted in laughter. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather come back to both of you the way I left you."
"If you insist. Go on, I'll be waiting for you."
It was said automatically, but his eyes clouded. With a sigh, I flung myself out of bed and hugged him.
"You can tell Rodney to bet his ass I'll be here this time."
Bones pressed his lips to my forehead and smiled, chipper again.
"Too right you will. Call your men and have them ready; I'll see you shortly."
"Don't smack Tate on the way over."
He snorted. "We'll see."
After he was gone, I made the invite to dinner, then listened for five minutes as Don argued about the men leaving the compound with Max on the loose.
"Two vamps and a ghoul, Don, plus me. Who's gonna take that on? It's only dinner, for God's sake. I swear they're not on the menu. They may as well meet one of the people they'll be trusting their lives to."
He finally gave the phone to Tate and relayed the offer. Tate accepted at once. He wanted to check out every deadhead he could, as he so nicely put it. There was no food in the house and not enough time to cook, so I showered and went to the kitchen to find the phone book. Rodney would be shit out of luck, because no delivery place I saw advertised raw meat or body parts. I settled on Italian, and ordered different dishes for everyone. Delivery would be in an hour, right about when they'd arrive.
Annette glided into the room twenty minutes later, dressed in a long, flowing skirt with a pale peach top. She looked like a million bucks, but as soon as I felt her vibe, I knew she was itching for trouble.
"Well, my dear, you must be feeling quite smug after that scene in the car, but let me remind you that I have been with Crispin for over two hundred years, and I will last the next two hundred. You, on the other hand, will astonish me if you last out the month."
I shut the Yellow Pages with a bang. Oh, so the gloves were off, were they?
"I can see why you feel threatened, Annette. When the person you love falls in love with someone else, that's a real bad day, isn't it? Look, I'm willing to overlook your previous relationship and be friendly, but piss me off and you'll regret it."
She smiled, a nasty little curl of the lips. "You silly girl, I've weathered thousands of dreamers like you. Tens of thousands, as it were. Crispin always comes back to me, and do you know why? Because I give him what he really wants. He didn't mention the rest of the story about his birthday years ago, did he? It wasn't just the three of us-it was the five of us. Two human girls plus Belinda and I, all shagging together. I picked the humans out myself. Crispin just adores warm living flesh, and besides, we had to eat something. Well, something else, that is."
Motherfucker. Annette chuckled at my livid expression, her goal scored. "Oh, my sweet, I can't count all of the times there were at least two of us with him. Crispin's so bloody insatiable. He always was, even as a human. And you're not that sacred to him, darling. Did he tell you about the two of us just a couple months ago? You're nothing more to him than a mere bump in a long, winding road. Best you realize that now."
A couple months ago. So she was the "almost" from Chicago. My knuckles went white on the table.
"In fact Bones did tell me about that, Annette, but you didn't get your usual service, did you? Bones told me he gave you a tongue lashing and then left you high and dry. That must have stung a bit, hmm? All fired up and no c**k to ride?" If she wanted to play dirty, I was ready to roll. Let's see who got covered in the most sludge.
Both impeccably plucked brows arched. "You haven't had much experience with men, have you? He might have left me high, but it was in no ways dry. Crispin can do more with his mouth than most men can accomplish with their entire bodies. I was well satisfied, I assure you, before he left. Not what I would have preferred, certainly, but vampires are a patient lot. He'll be back, and I'll be waiting."
That was it. "Do you know what you've done?" I asked in a bland tone. Annette gave me an inquiring look. "You've gotten on my last nerve."
The table went crashing into her before she could blink, and then my fist found a home in her perfectly arranged hair. She sprawled on the tile floor before leaping up with nosferatu quickness. My cat decided to run up the stairs, apparently not interested in who won this battle.
"Fast little child, aren't you?" Annette mocked. "You'd have to be, to still be alive. Oh dear, did I upset you? Listening to you two in bed earlier almost lulled me to sleep. I've never heard Crispin sound so bored."
"I am going to knock the slut out of you, Annette," I gritted between clenched teeth. "And that should take some doing, you uppity English tramp!"
"I am not so easily-oof!"
The chair cracked over her head, smashing into pieces, and then I threw her bodily into the next room. She wasn't a shrinking violet, however. Annette came at me with her eyes lit up and her fangs pointed, splinters decorating her from the ruined dinette chair. Instead of waiting for her to make a move, I charged and knocked her to the floor. She snapped her jaws with purpose, but I held her by the neck, landing brutal blows with my legs and free fist. We rolled around on the floor in a blur of limbs, but the bitch never stopped speaking the whole time.
"You've never had him the way I have, you puritan baby. Leaving Crispin was the cleverest thing you could have done, because it only inflamed his interest. He'd have tossed you away long ago if you hadn't. I can't imagine why he endures the monotony of shagging you at all, since you couldn't handle him without his leash on. Oh, and Crispin telling you he loves you? I've heard that from him a thousand times as well, but in my case, time has borne the truth of it. You may as well pack up and leave now; you're already through."