“Oh, honey,” Ray Anne said sympathetically. “Was it just horrible?”
“Huh?” she said, and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. “It was wonderful!”
“Wonderful?” Ray Anne asked carefully.
“It’s just a little flower shop but it felt like the hub of a big city! I guess word has gotten out that Grace’s mother is sick, but she didn’t look very sick. She’s beautiful and is being chauffeured around with some Russian man who is her escort or something. But people were dropping in all day to check on Grace, ask if there’s any way they can help, offering anything she might need and they were so nice to me!” And then she broke down and sobbed into her tissue.
Ray Anne moved closer to Ginger. She put a hand on her back. “Is this normal? To be sobbing because it went well?”
“I don’t know,” Ginger murmured. She blew her nose again. “Now that I’m home and sitting down, I’m exhausted. And I want my baby, Ray! I want my baby so much.”
“Oh, angel.”
“But I only thought about him a couple of times today because I was so busy. Maybe it was a few times, but I didn’t dwell. I usually think about him from the second my eyes open till I close them again at night.”
“I know it seems like such a little thing, but sometimes being busy helps us persevere. Especially if the work feels meaningful. Did it feel meaningful?”
“To the people who chose flowers for special occasions, it means the world to them. Thankfully we didn’t make up any funeral flowers. Grace told me if I wanted to go to the wedding to help her, she’d be so happy. And I can visit my parents. I can spend a night with them.”
“Do you want to do that, Ginger?” Ray Anne asked her.
Ginger grabbed Ray Anne and hugged her hard, crying on her shoulder while Ray Anne stroked her back.
“Will you do me a favor, Ray?”
“If I can,” she said.
“Will you call my mom and ask her to take down the crib? And put away some of those baby things?”
Ray Anne held her away, looking at her in shock. “Ginger, have you had the crib and all those baby things sitting out all this time? For nine months?”
She nodded and wiped her eyes. “I couldn’t let go. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get rid of everything. But I’m afraid if I go to my folks, even for one night, with all his little stuff sitting around like it’s ready for him to come back and use it, I’ll just spiral downward. I’m afraid I’ll crawl right back into the bed and stay there forever.”
“Listen to me,” Ray Anne said. “You will have bad days. You will get emotional and sad and long for little Josh. And you’ll get through it and move on to the next hour, the next day, the next week. And if I hear you’re in bed and can’t get up, I will drive up there and get you.” She gave her hair a stroke. “Don’t make me do that. I’m very busy right now.”
“I have to get a grip,” Ginger said, sniffing. “I think maybe I need a shower. And on Sunday I’m going to run over to Target and get some nice clothes that aren’t so expensive for work. I just couldn’t make myself change into those baggy old jeans.”
“That’s my girl.”
“I think I fell apart a little bit.”
“Ya think?” Ray Anne asked. She gave her a fond pat on the shoulder. “I think I better have a glass of wine. You take a shower.”
* * *
Troy and Grace were on their way to Bandon to have dinner with Winnie and Mikhail. They were both extremely quiet for the first fifteen minutes. Then Grace reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I know you didn’t sign on for this. I really appreciate all your support, but I know how stressful and crazy it is. When you’ve had enough...I understand. It’s too much to ask of anyone.”
He squeezed back. “I’m not going to bail out on you in the middle of this.”
“We were just dating, seeing where it would go, then the world seemed to explode. Listen, I can do this. I can. I can go with my mother for a few days, get things a little organized, plan how it will go after her... Enough for her to have some peace of mind. Hopefully Ray Anne will find a suitable house and—”
“And if Winnie rejects that idea?” he asked.
“Then I guess I’ll be making some trips to San Francisco to visit her, but my life is here. I’m not moving. Not even for six months. The only way we’ll live near each other is if she’s willing to move here.”
“She said you have a trust from your father. Are you actually rich?”
“Nah. I have enough to ensure I won’t be homeless or hungry. I could’ve spent it in one weekend, but I’ve taken very good care of it.”
“Could you live off it?”
“The way I live? In one room? For a few years. But I love working. Listen, I’m never going to live the way Winnie lives. Do you think I’m just saying that? That’s one of the two main reasons we barely spoke for five years. I wouldn’t compete anymore and I wouldn’t come home to step into that life.”
“Was it hard?”
“I gave it a lot of thought. I’m not the first person to disagree with her parents or to reject their lifestyle for my own choice. But what was hard was disappointing my mother, letting her down like that. It made her so angry. I might have made a different decision had I known she only had five years. But as Mikhail would say, die is cast! I’m sorry this has landed on your shoulders.”
“Just do what you have to do and when I can help, I will.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “This isn’t what I envision my life to be—one crisis after another.”
“Gracie, sometimes that’s how it is. We can’t plan everything.”
“I try. I really try. I like to stay ahead of things, but this...jeez, it’s insane, that’s what it is.”
Winnie had chosen the same restaurant Troy had met her in last Sunday evening. This time when he approached the maître d’ he was expected. Mikhail stood when they approached the table. He grabbed Grace’s face and kissed her on each cheek in his way. Then they sat and ordered drinks while looking at the menu.
“Your flower shop is very cute, Grace,” Winnie said. “You must be proud of it.”
“Huh?” she said, and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. “It was wonderful!”
“Wonderful?” Ray Anne asked carefully.
“It’s just a little flower shop but it felt like the hub of a big city! I guess word has gotten out that Grace’s mother is sick, but she didn’t look very sick. She’s beautiful and is being chauffeured around with some Russian man who is her escort or something. But people were dropping in all day to check on Grace, ask if there’s any way they can help, offering anything she might need and they were so nice to me!” And then she broke down and sobbed into her tissue.
Ray Anne moved closer to Ginger. She put a hand on her back. “Is this normal? To be sobbing because it went well?”
“I don’t know,” Ginger murmured. She blew her nose again. “Now that I’m home and sitting down, I’m exhausted. And I want my baby, Ray! I want my baby so much.”
“Oh, angel.”
“But I only thought about him a couple of times today because I was so busy. Maybe it was a few times, but I didn’t dwell. I usually think about him from the second my eyes open till I close them again at night.”
“I know it seems like such a little thing, but sometimes being busy helps us persevere. Especially if the work feels meaningful. Did it feel meaningful?”
“To the people who chose flowers for special occasions, it means the world to them. Thankfully we didn’t make up any funeral flowers. Grace told me if I wanted to go to the wedding to help her, she’d be so happy. And I can visit my parents. I can spend a night with them.”
“Do you want to do that, Ginger?” Ray Anne asked her.
Ginger grabbed Ray Anne and hugged her hard, crying on her shoulder while Ray Anne stroked her back.
“Will you do me a favor, Ray?”
“If I can,” she said.
“Will you call my mom and ask her to take down the crib? And put away some of those baby things?”
Ray Anne held her away, looking at her in shock. “Ginger, have you had the crib and all those baby things sitting out all this time? For nine months?”
She nodded and wiped her eyes. “I couldn’t let go. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get rid of everything. But I’m afraid if I go to my folks, even for one night, with all his little stuff sitting around like it’s ready for him to come back and use it, I’ll just spiral downward. I’m afraid I’ll crawl right back into the bed and stay there forever.”
“Listen to me,” Ray Anne said. “You will have bad days. You will get emotional and sad and long for little Josh. And you’ll get through it and move on to the next hour, the next day, the next week. And if I hear you’re in bed and can’t get up, I will drive up there and get you.” She gave her hair a stroke. “Don’t make me do that. I’m very busy right now.”
“I have to get a grip,” Ginger said, sniffing. “I think maybe I need a shower. And on Sunday I’m going to run over to Target and get some nice clothes that aren’t so expensive for work. I just couldn’t make myself change into those baggy old jeans.”
“That’s my girl.”
“I think I fell apart a little bit.”
“Ya think?” Ray Anne asked. She gave her a fond pat on the shoulder. “I think I better have a glass of wine. You take a shower.”
* * *
Troy and Grace were on their way to Bandon to have dinner with Winnie and Mikhail. They were both extremely quiet for the first fifteen minutes. Then Grace reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I know you didn’t sign on for this. I really appreciate all your support, but I know how stressful and crazy it is. When you’ve had enough...I understand. It’s too much to ask of anyone.”
He squeezed back. “I’m not going to bail out on you in the middle of this.”
“We were just dating, seeing where it would go, then the world seemed to explode. Listen, I can do this. I can. I can go with my mother for a few days, get things a little organized, plan how it will go after her... Enough for her to have some peace of mind. Hopefully Ray Anne will find a suitable house and—”
“And if Winnie rejects that idea?” he asked.
“Then I guess I’ll be making some trips to San Francisco to visit her, but my life is here. I’m not moving. Not even for six months. The only way we’ll live near each other is if she’s willing to move here.”
“She said you have a trust from your father. Are you actually rich?”
“Nah. I have enough to ensure I won’t be homeless or hungry. I could’ve spent it in one weekend, but I’ve taken very good care of it.”
“Could you live off it?”
“The way I live? In one room? For a few years. But I love working. Listen, I’m never going to live the way Winnie lives. Do you think I’m just saying that? That’s one of the two main reasons we barely spoke for five years. I wouldn’t compete anymore and I wouldn’t come home to step into that life.”
“Was it hard?”
“I gave it a lot of thought. I’m not the first person to disagree with her parents or to reject their lifestyle for my own choice. But what was hard was disappointing my mother, letting her down like that. It made her so angry. I might have made a different decision had I known she only had five years. But as Mikhail would say, die is cast! I’m sorry this has landed on your shoulders.”
“Just do what you have to do and when I can help, I will.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “This isn’t what I envision my life to be—one crisis after another.”
“Gracie, sometimes that’s how it is. We can’t plan everything.”
“I try. I really try. I like to stay ahead of things, but this...jeez, it’s insane, that’s what it is.”
Winnie had chosen the same restaurant Troy had met her in last Sunday evening. This time when he approached the maître d’ he was expected. Mikhail stood when they approached the table. He grabbed Grace’s face and kissed her on each cheek in his way. Then they sat and ordered drinks while looking at the menu.
“Your flower shop is very cute, Grace,” Winnie said. “You must be proud of it.”
