Inwardly I stifled a groan. There went my dream of a weekend holed up with Stella in a hotel. Could I say no?
Nice. Turn down an old lady’s plea for help so you can go get laid. Wonder how Stella would feel about that, Mr. Good Guy.
I grimaced. “Okay. I’ll pick you up by two-thirty.”
“Oh, thank you, dear. And wear something a little nice, since my hip has been bothering me and I might need you to escort me in.”
Jesus Christ. Could this get any worse? I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay. I will.”
“You’re such a nice boy. See you Saturday.”
“Yeah.”
I ended the call and threw my phone onto the couch.
Sometimes doing the right thing sucked.
Thirty-Six
Grams
Poor Mr. Woods.
I’d almost feel sorry for him if he hadn’t been such a silly, stubborn thing for so long.
He really was a nice boy to agree to stay in town and escort me to a funeral when what he really wanted to do was go canoodle with Stella. Thank goodness he’d come to his senses.
As I made my five o’clock martini, I laughed to myself and pictured his face when he realized we were going to a wedding, not a funeral.
A bit underhanded of me, perhaps, but things like this couldn’t be left to chance. What if I gave him her address and then he chickened out? How many times had I caught Frank sitting in his car out in front of my house, trying to work up the nerve to come in and say he’d been an idiot? Every time, I’d be watching him out the window, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I’d go out there and put the poor bugger out of his misery by inviting him in for a slice of pie.
I held up my glass. “To you, my dearest Frank.”
Suddenly the wind howled at the kitchen window.
“Oh, stop. You know they’re meant to be together. I’m only helping things along. And what better cause to fight for than love?”
After one more gust, the wind quieted to a soft murmur, and I smiled.
“I love you, too. Cheers, darling.”
Thirty-Seven
Ryan
On Saturday afternoon, I knocked on Mrs. Gardner’s door at twenty after two.
She opened it and smiled broadly. “Well, don’t you look spiffy!”
I’d purchased a black suit for Bones’s funeral and figured I might as well get another use out of it. “Thanks.”
“I’m all ready, so let’s go.”
I took her arm and helped her down the porch steps, although she was steady on her own feet. Beneath a wool coat, a long flowing skirt showed in a light purple color. I thought it was an odd choice for a funeral, but I kept my mouth shut. She was wearing pretty bright lipstick too, but I figured she didn’t get out much, and maybe she was looking at this as a social occasion. Who was I to judge?
After helping her into the truck—a bit of a struggle—she gave me directions to an address on Old Mission Peninsula. We’d first have to go south about twenty minutes to Traverse City, and then up Highway 37, which bisected the narrow strip of land jutting into Grand Traverse Bay. I wasn’t too familiar with the area, but I’d thought Old Mission was mostly farms, wineries, and vacation homes. It surprised me that there would be a funeral home on it, but I said nothing.
That was okay because Mrs. Gardner chattered the whole ride and didn’t seem to expect me to contribute anything to the conversation. I tried to keep the look on my face at least neutral so she wouldn’t know how irritated I was to spend my Saturday doing a good deed for her instead of doing bad things to her granddaughter. I made myself think of Stella and how she would hear about today and be impressed that I was such a decent guy. Maybe she’d even reward me with another blowjob.
Oh fuck, I thought as my cock got a little excited at the thought. Not now. Go away.
Maybe I’d better keep my mind off Stella.
I still had no idea what exactly I was going to say to her. Before I drove down there I was really going to make an effort to think through everything I wanted her to know, all the reasons why she should give me another chance, all the ways I was going to try to make her happy. I knew she’d probably ask me about marriage and family, and I was going to be honest with her. It wasn’t something I thought I’d be good at, but I was willing to consider it if that’s what it took. I was willing to do anything for her.
“Here we go,” said Mrs. Gardner, gesturing toward a sign up ahead that said Abelard Vineyards.
Was she confused? “Are you sure?” I asked. “This doesn’t look like a funeral home or a church or anything.”
“I’m sure.”
Doubtful, I turned where she said and followed the winding gravel road to where it curved into a circular drive in front of a huge, beautiful home that looked like a European castle. Beyond it stretched the rolling hills of a vineyard and several smaller buildings. To the left of the house was a gravel parking lot about a third full of cars. I looked for any indication that there was a funeral service here today but saw none. The people getting out of their cars and heading for the house were all young or middle-aged and dressed up.
“You can pull right up to the door, dear,” said Mrs. Gardner. “I was told we can park in the drive.”
I did as she asked, and that’s when I noticed the sign, a large rectangular chalkboard with flowers draped across the top. Welcome, it said in flowing lower-case script. Then beneath that in smaller capital letters:
EMME & NATE
NOVEMBER 10, 2018
My confusion lasted only long enough for me to put the truck in park.
I looked over at the old lady. “You didn’t.”
She smiled deviously. “I’m afraid I did.”
My heart was hammering in my chest. I couldn’t face Stella here, with a million people around, at a wedding. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to her yet!
“I can’t go in,” I said stiffly, my jaw set.
“Nonsense. You and Stella have been apart long enough.”
“I’m—I’m unprepared. I can’t go into a situation unprepared.”
“You’re as prepared as you’ll ever be. Trust me.” She patted my leg.
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“Forgive me, dear, but that’s just asinine. She’s in love with you. Of course she wants to see you. And didn’t you ask me for her address so you could pay her a visit? Tell her you were wrong?”
“Well, yes, but—but I thought I’d have more time to get my thoughts together,” I sputtered. “I’d have the long ride down there, and—and—”
“She doesn’t want a rehearsed speech, Mr. Woods. She wants you to speak from the heart. She wants you to look her in the eye and make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Like she’s the only one for you.”
I swallowed hard. “She is.”
“See? You’ll be fine. Now be a dear and help me down from here.” She looked out the passenger window. “I could possibly make the leap but I might not stick the landing.”
“Don’t move.” I jumped out of the truck and hurried around to the passenger side. The Marine in me wanted to assess this new setting, scope out the people arriving, look for the entrances and exits, but I kept my focus on the ground. I didn’t want Stella to see me yet.
I opened the passenger door and helped Mrs. Gardner down, making sure she was safely on the walkway to the front door. “I’ll just go park the car in the lot,” I said.
She tightened her hold on my elbow. “Oh, no. You’ll stay right here with me. You agreed to be my escort and I need someone to walk me down the aisle. They’re seating me special, you know.”
I cringed, making her laugh.
She patted my arm. “Don’t look so scared, Mr. Woods. After all the brave things you’ve done in your life, this will be a piece of cake.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but I locked the truck and led her into the house. My pulse was racing, and my skin was hot beneath my clothes.
In the front entrance hall, a woman in a black dress kissed Mrs. Gardner lightly on both cheeks. “Hello,” she said warmly. “How are you feeling today?”
Nice. Turn down an old lady’s plea for help so you can go get laid. Wonder how Stella would feel about that, Mr. Good Guy.
I grimaced. “Okay. I’ll pick you up by two-thirty.”
“Oh, thank you, dear. And wear something a little nice, since my hip has been bothering me and I might need you to escort me in.”
Jesus Christ. Could this get any worse? I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay. I will.”
“You’re such a nice boy. See you Saturday.”
“Yeah.”
I ended the call and threw my phone onto the couch.
Sometimes doing the right thing sucked.
Thirty-Six
Grams
Poor Mr. Woods.
I’d almost feel sorry for him if he hadn’t been such a silly, stubborn thing for so long.
He really was a nice boy to agree to stay in town and escort me to a funeral when what he really wanted to do was go canoodle with Stella. Thank goodness he’d come to his senses.
As I made my five o’clock martini, I laughed to myself and pictured his face when he realized we were going to a wedding, not a funeral.
A bit underhanded of me, perhaps, but things like this couldn’t be left to chance. What if I gave him her address and then he chickened out? How many times had I caught Frank sitting in his car out in front of my house, trying to work up the nerve to come in and say he’d been an idiot? Every time, I’d be watching him out the window, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I’d go out there and put the poor bugger out of his misery by inviting him in for a slice of pie.
I held up my glass. “To you, my dearest Frank.”
Suddenly the wind howled at the kitchen window.
“Oh, stop. You know they’re meant to be together. I’m only helping things along. And what better cause to fight for than love?”
After one more gust, the wind quieted to a soft murmur, and I smiled.
“I love you, too. Cheers, darling.”
Thirty-Seven
Ryan
On Saturday afternoon, I knocked on Mrs. Gardner’s door at twenty after two.
She opened it and smiled broadly. “Well, don’t you look spiffy!”
I’d purchased a black suit for Bones’s funeral and figured I might as well get another use out of it. “Thanks.”
“I’m all ready, so let’s go.”
I took her arm and helped her down the porch steps, although she was steady on her own feet. Beneath a wool coat, a long flowing skirt showed in a light purple color. I thought it was an odd choice for a funeral, but I kept my mouth shut. She was wearing pretty bright lipstick too, but I figured she didn’t get out much, and maybe she was looking at this as a social occasion. Who was I to judge?
After helping her into the truck—a bit of a struggle—she gave me directions to an address on Old Mission Peninsula. We’d first have to go south about twenty minutes to Traverse City, and then up Highway 37, which bisected the narrow strip of land jutting into Grand Traverse Bay. I wasn’t too familiar with the area, but I’d thought Old Mission was mostly farms, wineries, and vacation homes. It surprised me that there would be a funeral home on it, but I said nothing.
That was okay because Mrs. Gardner chattered the whole ride and didn’t seem to expect me to contribute anything to the conversation. I tried to keep the look on my face at least neutral so she wouldn’t know how irritated I was to spend my Saturday doing a good deed for her instead of doing bad things to her granddaughter. I made myself think of Stella and how she would hear about today and be impressed that I was such a decent guy. Maybe she’d even reward me with another blowjob.
Oh fuck, I thought as my cock got a little excited at the thought. Not now. Go away.
Maybe I’d better keep my mind off Stella.
I still had no idea what exactly I was going to say to her. Before I drove down there I was really going to make an effort to think through everything I wanted her to know, all the reasons why she should give me another chance, all the ways I was going to try to make her happy. I knew she’d probably ask me about marriage and family, and I was going to be honest with her. It wasn’t something I thought I’d be good at, but I was willing to consider it if that’s what it took. I was willing to do anything for her.
“Here we go,” said Mrs. Gardner, gesturing toward a sign up ahead that said Abelard Vineyards.
Was she confused? “Are you sure?” I asked. “This doesn’t look like a funeral home or a church or anything.”
“I’m sure.”
Doubtful, I turned where she said and followed the winding gravel road to where it curved into a circular drive in front of a huge, beautiful home that looked like a European castle. Beyond it stretched the rolling hills of a vineyard and several smaller buildings. To the left of the house was a gravel parking lot about a third full of cars. I looked for any indication that there was a funeral service here today but saw none. The people getting out of their cars and heading for the house were all young or middle-aged and dressed up.
“You can pull right up to the door, dear,” said Mrs. Gardner. “I was told we can park in the drive.”
I did as she asked, and that’s when I noticed the sign, a large rectangular chalkboard with flowers draped across the top. Welcome, it said in flowing lower-case script. Then beneath that in smaller capital letters:
EMME & NATE
NOVEMBER 10, 2018
My confusion lasted only long enough for me to put the truck in park.
I looked over at the old lady. “You didn’t.”
She smiled deviously. “I’m afraid I did.”
My heart was hammering in my chest. I couldn’t face Stella here, with a million people around, at a wedding. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to her yet!
“I can’t go in,” I said stiffly, my jaw set.
“Nonsense. You and Stella have been apart long enough.”
“I’m—I’m unprepared. I can’t go into a situation unprepared.”
“You’re as prepared as you’ll ever be. Trust me.” She patted my leg.
“What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“Forgive me, dear, but that’s just asinine. She’s in love with you. Of course she wants to see you. And didn’t you ask me for her address so you could pay her a visit? Tell her you were wrong?”
“Well, yes, but—but I thought I’d have more time to get my thoughts together,” I sputtered. “I’d have the long ride down there, and—and—”
“She doesn’t want a rehearsed speech, Mr. Woods. She wants you to speak from the heart. She wants you to look her in the eye and make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Like she’s the only one for you.”
I swallowed hard. “She is.”
“See? You’ll be fine. Now be a dear and help me down from here.” She looked out the passenger window. “I could possibly make the leap but I might not stick the landing.”
“Don’t move.” I jumped out of the truck and hurried around to the passenger side. The Marine in me wanted to assess this new setting, scope out the people arriving, look for the entrances and exits, but I kept my focus on the ground. I didn’t want Stella to see me yet.
I opened the passenger door and helped Mrs. Gardner down, making sure she was safely on the walkway to the front door. “I’ll just go park the car in the lot,” I said.
She tightened her hold on my elbow. “Oh, no. You’ll stay right here with me. You agreed to be my escort and I need someone to walk me down the aisle. They’re seating me special, you know.”
I cringed, making her laugh.
She patted my arm. “Don’t look so scared, Mr. Woods. After all the brave things you’ve done in your life, this will be a piece of cake.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but I locked the truck and led her into the house. My pulse was racing, and my skin was hot beneath my clothes.
In the front entrance hall, a woman in a black dress kissed Mrs. Gardner lightly on both cheeks. “Hello,” she said warmly. “How are you feeling today?”
