He loathed her.
She heard it in his tone and she didn’t know what to do with that. Distant was one thing. Disapproving was one thing. But loathing? He truly did think she was a failure. Worse, a whore who’d sell her pussy for love or attention.
Her mother had slapped him! And yelled at him. Jay had shouted at him too. Julie had been so upset when they’d hugged as they’d left.
She managed to get to the point where the garage door closed and then she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Huge, hiccupping sobs hit as she put her head in her hands and gave over to them.
“Sit right there.”
Asa got out and came to her side, unbuckled her seat belt, and lifted her into his arms. She tried to protest that she was fine, but she was incoherent from the crying and it felt really good to be held, so she snuggled into him as he kissed the top of her head.
How he managed to get the door open she didn’t know, but he did and headed to his couch, where he sat, settling her in his lap.
“Get it all out.” He rubbed circles over her back. “I’ve got you, Penelope. I’m not going to let go.”
This made her cry even harder because it was so sweet. She cried as she gave up her hopes of ever truly connecting with her father. She cried as she realized things were about to change again after the breakfast meeting she had the following morning with her siblings too.
She cried for a long time until she just sort of dried up. Still, she was sore and her eyes hurt and her nose was runny and she’d gotten makeup on his shirt and he didn’t even care.
“Now before you say a single word, I’m going to need you to listen to me first.” Asa kissed her forehead. “Nothing he said tonight was true. You know that in your head, but when your dad says something so cruel, maybe it’s harder to know in your heart. So let me tell you what my heart knows. You are smart and ambitious. You’re capable and adaptable. He shamed himself tonight. Not you. Never you. Your hope that he would see you for all the wonderful things you truly are doesn’t make you dumb, it makes you a woman with a big heart. It makes you my woman, and I love you and I hate that your father hurt you the way he did. I wish I could go back and undo it and make it never have happened. But I can’t.”
She nodded, so very numb. “I know. I’ve had to accept he’s just not interested. He was never close with me. I was out with my grandpa a lot more than I ever was with him. But I had no idea he hated me.”
She’d thought she was out of tears, but apparently not.
“I don’t think he hates you. I think he resents you for some reason. He definitely doesn’t like me, but he lashed out and has done several times. He wants to push you away. And right now I think that’s the best place for you. Away from him. Do whatever you’re going to do with your siblings at Colman, but you let your brothers and sister handle your father. He’s hurt you enough.”
PJ agreed.
PJ stirred her coffee slowly as her siblings settled in at the table.
Jay spoke first. “I’d ask how you are, but it’s a stupid question after that scene last night. I’m so, so sorry that happened. He’s wrong, PJ.”
Shawn buttered some bread. “Mom came to my house after you guys left. She’s beside herself with worry for you. I know you’re angry and you have every right to be. But he broke something last night. Between them, I mean. I don’t think she’s going to forgive him.”
PJ said, “I don’t even know what I feel. Not all of it. I appreciate that you backed me up last night. I’m… still trying to get past the point where I start crying when I think about it too much, so let’s talk Colman right now.”
They put their heads together and began to plan exactly what they’d do that following Tuesday. It was a big meeting day, so Howard and Fee both would be around.
PJ formally accepted her siblings’ offer of reemployment with her own division, and then they all drew up their new organizational chart for Colman Enterprises, with Howard Jr. and Fee Colman as consultants with offices on-site but a reduced workload.
“One last thing. Mom is giving us her vote. Grandma had a voting seat when Grandpa was alive. I guess Mom did too, back before Grandpa got sick. She never gave it up. She called me this morning to say that.” Julie looked between them all.
Worry stabbed PJ. “If she does that, he’ll leave her.”
“She left her wedding rings in the safe at the house before she came home with me last night. PJ, she’s done with him. He said some unforgivable things to you. To Jay. To all of us,” Shawn said.
“What do you mean to Jay and the rest of you?”
Julie took one of PJ’s hands. “After you left he started ranting about what a loser Jay was for being gay and how Shawn was spineless. I’m too masculine to ever get married. He told Mom he had no idea how we turned out to be so awful. He blamed it on her family. Finally Jay and Shawn took him into his room and made him stay there while I got Mom packed up. She called Aunt Jenny and they’re going to go visit Aunt Mary in London in two weeks. Will you call Mom? She feels awful. I know she should have dealt with it earlier.”
“How can I hold it against her? Yes, she made mistakes, but I’m not in her place. Her whole life is falling apart.” Asa had been right. It was crappy parenting. But Lenore loved PJ, even if she wasn’t always great at protecting her. PJ could keep her expectations low and still have her mom in her life.
She heard it in his tone and she didn’t know what to do with that. Distant was one thing. Disapproving was one thing. But loathing? He truly did think she was a failure. Worse, a whore who’d sell her pussy for love or attention.
Her mother had slapped him! And yelled at him. Jay had shouted at him too. Julie had been so upset when they’d hugged as they’d left.
She managed to get to the point where the garage door closed and then she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Huge, hiccupping sobs hit as she put her head in her hands and gave over to them.
“Sit right there.”
Asa got out and came to her side, unbuckled her seat belt, and lifted her into his arms. She tried to protest that she was fine, but she was incoherent from the crying and it felt really good to be held, so she snuggled into him as he kissed the top of her head.
How he managed to get the door open she didn’t know, but he did and headed to his couch, where he sat, settling her in his lap.
“Get it all out.” He rubbed circles over her back. “I’ve got you, Penelope. I’m not going to let go.”
This made her cry even harder because it was so sweet. She cried as she gave up her hopes of ever truly connecting with her father. She cried as she realized things were about to change again after the breakfast meeting she had the following morning with her siblings too.
She cried for a long time until she just sort of dried up. Still, she was sore and her eyes hurt and her nose was runny and she’d gotten makeup on his shirt and he didn’t even care.
“Now before you say a single word, I’m going to need you to listen to me first.” Asa kissed her forehead. “Nothing he said tonight was true. You know that in your head, but when your dad says something so cruel, maybe it’s harder to know in your heart. So let me tell you what my heart knows. You are smart and ambitious. You’re capable and adaptable. He shamed himself tonight. Not you. Never you. Your hope that he would see you for all the wonderful things you truly are doesn’t make you dumb, it makes you a woman with a big heart. It makes you my woman, and I love you and I hate that your father hurt you the way he did. I wish I could go back and undo it and make it never have happened. But I can’t.”
She nodded, so very numb. “I know. I’ve had to accept he’s just not interested. He was never close with me. I was out with my grandpa a lot more than I ever was with him. But I had no idea he hated me.”
She’d thought she was out of tears, but apparently not.
“I don’t think he hates you. I think he resents you for some reason. He definitely doesn’t like me, but he lashed out and has done several times. He wants to push you away. And right now I think that’s the best place for you. Away from him. Do whatever you’re going to do with your siblings at Colman, but you let your brothers and sister handle your father. He’s hurt you enough.”
PJ agreed.
PJ stirred her coffee slowly as her siblings settled in at the table.
Jay spoke first. “I’d ask how you are, but it’s a stupid question after that scene last night. I’m so, so sorry that happened. He’s wrong, PJ.”
Shawn buttered some bread. “Mom came to my house after you guys left. She’s beside herself with worry for you. I know you’re angry and you have every right to be. But he broke something last night. Between them, I mean. I don’t think she’s going to forgive him.”
PJ said, “I don’t even know what I feel. Not all of it. I appreciate that you backed me up last night. I’m… still trying to get past the point where I start crying when I think about it too much, so let’s talk Colman right now.”
They put their heads together and began to plan exactly what they’d do that following Tuesday. It was a big meeting day, so Howard and Fee both would be around.
PJ formally accepted her siblings’ offer of reemployment with her own division, and then they all drew up their new organizational chart for Colman Enterprises, with Howard Jr. and Fee Colman as consultants with offices on-site but a reduced workload.
“One last thing. Mom is giving us her vote. Grandma had a voting seat when Grandpa was alive. I guess Mom did too, back before Grandpa got sick. She never gave it up. She called me this morning to say that.” Julie looked between them all.
Worry stabbed PJ. “If she does that, he’ll leave her.”
“She left her wedding rings in the safe at the house before she came home with me last night. PJ, she’s done with him. He said some unforgivable things to you. To Jay. To all of us,” Shawn said.
“What do you mean to Jay and the rest of you?”
Julie took one of PJ’s hands. “After you left he started ranting about what a loser Jay was for being gay and how Shawn was spineless. I’m too masculine to ever get married. He told Mom he had no idea how we turned out to be so awful. He blamed it on her family. Finally Jay and Shawn took him into his room and made him stay there while I got Mom packed up. She called Aunt Jenny and they’re going to go visit Aunt Mary in London in two weeks. Will you call Mom? She feels awful. I know she should have dealt with it earlier.”
“How can I hold it against her? Yes, she made mistakes, but I’m not in her place. Her whole life is falling apart.” Asa had been right. It was crappy parenting. But Lenore loved PJ, even if she wasn’t always great at protecting her. PJ could keep her expectations low and still have her mom in her life.
