“Will do, boss lady. She’s actually about to get a bottle and go to bed.”
“Oh good,” she said, sounding relieved.
“Hey, you’re taking your meds, right?”
“Yeah, I am,” she said, and he could tell she was telling the truth.
“You sound frazzled,” he commented and she scoffed.
“I am, but no worries. Promise. Let me let you go though. I need to get some paperwork done. Give Mena kisses for me, and don’t roll your eyes and make fun of me when I text every thirty minutes.”
Jordie smiled as Kacey laughed. “We will try not to.”
They said bye and Jordie laid his phone down, grinning at Mena. “Well, my little rock star model, we are done for today.”
“Yup, bedtime,” Kacey sang, bouncing her around, which had Mena giggling before they headed out of the kitchen. “Bring the bottle, I’m gonna go change her.”
“Be there in a second,” he called to her before turning to make the bottle. As he filled the bottle with water, he couldn’t help but think how easy this was for them. They were going to be good parents. They fed off each other while laughing and having a good time. He still thought of the child they had lost though. Would it have been a boy, born with pads and a stick? Or a little girl, also born with pads and a stick? He didn’t know, but he wanted to have another chance. Soon.
Shaking the bottle, he went down the hall into Mena’s room, just as Kacey lifted her off the changing table and settled into the rocking chair. “Mm, nighttime snack is here,” she cooed before taking it from Jordie and putting it in Mena’s mouth. She sucked happily, her eyes trained on Kacey, and he couldn’t blame her. Kacey was beautiful.
She was only wearing sweats and a tank, her hair in a short little ponytail, but Jordie was completely taken by her. To him, she was wearing the red dress from the team party, her heels teasing him—she was always that gorgeous. Emotion choked him as he watched her, wishing like hell that it was their baby instead of Karson and Lacey’s.
“You look good, baby,” he said, clearing his throat. “Holding a baby.”
She smiled up at him. “Yeah, one day.”
“Soon?” he asked and she shrugged, looking back down at Mena. Smiling, she glanced back up at him.
“Maybe after we get married?”
“So tomorrow we get married and, boom, baby time?” he asked and she laughed.
“Or, maybe after your first year of sobriety, we get married, and then we enjoy time just the two us, and then we try?” she asked slowly.
“That sounds like a much smarter plan instead of just doing it tomorrow, huh?”
She winked. “Just a bit smarter.”
“You aren’t hesitant, are you?”
She shrugged. “I just want you to get to a year and then see if it’s still all that you want.”
His face remained blank. She was being honest and he wanted that. “It will be.”
“Good, I hope so,” she said, a grin pulling at her mouth. “It would be awkward living with someone who doesn’t want me. I’m not leaving my new house.”
“Me either,” he said, his grin matching hers.
She shook her head and then her grin dropped. “I’m actually nervous that I’ll miscarry again once we do decide to go down that road.”
“Don’t be, please,” he urged and she nodded, biting her lip.
“If I can’t have babies, will you still want to be with me?” she asked hopefully, and his heart lurched in his chest.
He didn’t even pause. “Why would you ask that? Of course, I will.”
She smiled, her eyes locking with his as she whispered, “Just making sure.”
He shot her a dubious look as Mena’s eyes slowly fell shut. Waiting a few more minutes, Kacey handed the bottle to him before getting up and carrying Mena to her crib. Laying her down slowly, she smiled as the baby sprawled out in the crib.
“She’s perfect,” she whispered, tracing Mena’s palm with her finger. “So pretty.”
“She really is,” Jordie agreed, kissing her shoulder. “So are you.”
She leaned into his face, and his eyes drifted shut before he wrapped his arms around her waist. Holding her, a part of him knew it was smart to wait because they still were young in the relationship. But the other part of him said, fuck it, let’s do it now. They hadn’t been together long, he understood that, but there wasn’t a moment he didn’t think she was the one. Even when he was pushing her away, he’d always loved her. They had spent so much time apart, and he didn’t want to waste any more time. He was in love with being in love with her. It was so fulfilling, but it was probably smart to wait it out. Enjoy them, enjoy her, and get settled. It was just easy to rush in, though. They had the love, the money, and now the house; nothing could hold them back.
Except his alcoholism.
That was the one thing that could make them crash and burn, but he was doing everything to ensure that wouldn’t happen. He was winning, he felt it, and he wouldn’t back down. But he would do as she said, wait until his year, and then he’d marry her and get her pregnant quicker than she could say yes.
He would have his happiness. His forever.
Nothing would keep him from that.
When his phone rang, he glanced down, and everything stopped. It was his mom. His stomach twisted as he declined the call, but she called back almost immediately. Glaring at it, he rejected the call again and tucked it into his pocket before saying, “Come on.”
“Oh good,” she said, sounding relieved.
“Hey, you’re taking your meds, right?”
“Yeah, I am,” she said, and he could tell she was telling the truth.
“You sound frazzled,” he commented and she scoffed.
“I am, but no worries. Promise. Let me let you go though. I need to get some paperwork done. Give Mena kisses for me, and don’t roll your eyes and make fun of me when I text every thirty minutes.”
Jordie smiled as Kacey laughed. “We will try not to.”
They said bye and Jordie laid his phone down, grinning at Mena. “Well, my little rock star model, we are done for today.”
“Yup, bedtime,” Kacey sang, bouncing her around, which had Mena giggling before they headed out of the kitchen. “Bring the bottle, I’m gonna go change her.”
“Be there in a second,” he called to her before turning to make the bottle. As he filled the bottle with water, he couldn’t help but think how easy this was for them. They were going to be good parents. They fed off each other while laughing and having a good time. He still thought of the child they had lost though. Would it have been a boy, born with pads and a stick? Or a little girl, also born with pads and a stick? He didn’t know, but he wanted to have another chance. Soon.
Shaking the bottle, he went down the hall into Mena’s room, just as Kacey lifted her off the changing table and settled into the rocking chair. “Mm, nighttime snack is here,” she cooed before taking it from Jordie and putting it in Mena’s mouth. She sucked happily, her eyes trained on Kacey, and he couldn’t blame her. Kacey was beautiful.
She was only wearing sweats and a tank, her hair in a short little ponytail, but Jordie was completely taken by her. To him, she was wearing the red dress from the team party, her heels teasing him—she was always that gorgeous. Emotion choked him as he watched her, wishing like hell that it was their baby instead of Karson and Lacey’s.
“You look good, baby,” he said, clearing his throat. “Holding a baby.”
She smiled up at him. “Yeah, one day.”
“Soon?” he asked and she shrugged, looking back down at Mena. Smiling, she glanced back up at him.
“Maybe after we get married?”
“So tomorrow we get married and, boom, baby time?” he asked and she laughed.
“Or, maybe after your first year of sobriety, we get married, and then we enjoy time just the two us, and then we try?” she asked slowly.
“That sounds like a much smarter plan instead of just doing it tomorrow, huh?”
She winked. “Just a bit smarter.”
“You aren’t hesitant, are you?”
She shrugged. “I just want you to get to a year and then see if it’s still all that you want.”
His face remained blank. She was being honest and he wanted that. “It will be.”
“Good, I hope so,” she said, a grin pulling at her mouth. “It would be awkward living with someone who doesn’t want me. I’m not leaving my new house.”
“Me either,” he said, his grin matching hers.
She shook her head and then her grin dropped. “I’m actually nervous that I’ll miscarry again once we do decide to go down that road.”
“Don’t be, please,” he urged and she nodded, biting her lip.
“If I can’t have babies, will you still want to be with me?” she asked hopefully, and his heart lurched in his chest.
He didn’t even pause. “Why would you ask that? Of course, I will.”
She smiled, her eyes locking with his as she whispered, “Just making sure.”
He shot her a dubious look as Mena’s eyes slowly fell shut. Waiting a few more minutes, Kacey handed the bottle to him before getting up and carrying Mena to her crib. Laying her down slowly, she smiled as the baby sprawled out in the crib.
“She’s perfect,” she whispered, tracing Mena’s palm with her finger. “So pretty.”
“She really is,” Jordie agreed, kissing her shoulder. “So are you.”
She leaned into his face, and his eyes drifted shut before he wrapped his arms around her waist. Holding her, a part of him knew it was smart to wait because they still were young in the relationship. But the other part of him said, fuck it, let’s do it now. They hadn’t been together long, he understood that, but there wasn’t a moment he didn’t think she was the one. Even when he was pushing her away, he’d always loved her. They had spent so much time apart, and he didn’t want to waste any more time. He was in love with being in love with her. It was so fulfilling, but it was probably smart to wait it out. Enjoy them, enjoy her, and get settled. It was just easy to rush in, though. They had the love, the money, and now the house; nothing could hold them back.
Except his alcoholism.
That was the one thing that could make them crash and burn, but he was doing everything to ensure that wouldn’t happen. He was winning, he felt it, and he wouldn’t back down. But he would do as she said, wait until his year, and then he’d marry her and get her pregnant quicker than she could say yes.
He would have his happiness. His forever.
Nothing would keep him from that.
When his phone rang, he glanced down, and everything stopped. It was his mom. His stomach twisted as he declined the call, but she called back almost immediately. Glaring at it, he rejected the call again and tucked it into his pocket before saying, “Come on.”
