"Knowing how she felt about you," Julie said, "how could you possibly have thought she'd care for our baby?"
He raised his brows in amused challenge. "What baby, Julie?"
The infectious smile that had brightened his life in Colorado dawned across her face with a touch of beguiling guilt to add to its appeal. "The baby I invented so you'd let me come to you."
"Oh, that baby."
She opened another button on his shirt and pressed a kiss against his throat. "Answer my question."
"Keep doing that and you stand a better chance of getting a real baby than an answer to your question."
With a laugh, she leaned her forearms against his chest, but her eyes were slumberous. "I'm terribly greedy, Zack. I want both."
Tenderly, Zack cupped her face between his hands, his thumbs rubbing over her cheeks. "Do you, darling? Want my baby?"
"Desperately."
"We'll work on that tonight if you're up to it."
She bit her lip, her shoulders shaking with laughter. "Going strictly from fading memory, you understand, I think it's a matter of whether you are."
"Up to it?" he provided, enjoying the sexual banter and the exhilaration of the unique combination of laughter and love she'd always made him feel.
She nodded.
"Actually, I've been 'up to it' most of the time since I read your letter this morning. The proof is within your reach."
The doorbell rang again, and they ignored it again, but it made Julie guiltily jerk her hand away from what he'd hoped was going to be her search for 'proof.' "Are you going to finish answering my question?" she asked.
"Yes," he sighed. "If you'll think back to the letter I wrote you, you'll remember I specifically said I'd write to her before I sent you there with our baby. Actually, I'd have written to Foster first, not to her."
"Foster? You mean the old butler?"
Zack nodded. "My grandfather and I swore him to secrecy, but he knows what happened. He was in the hall when the shot came from Justin's room, and he saw me run from my room down to Justin's. I would have released Foster from his promise and told him to speak to his employer and tell her the truth."
"She's your grandmother, Zack. Stop avoiding calling her that. I think she loved you more than you imagine. If you saw her now, talked to her, you'd realize how much of a toll all this—"
"She is dead to me, Julie," he interrupted with a bite in his voice. "After tonight, I never want to hear the woman's name or have you refer to her."
Julie opened her mouth to argue, then made a different decision, but she withheld it for the time being. With a smile in her voice, she said, "No one gets a second chance from you, right?"
"Right," he said implacably.
"Except me."
He brushed his knuckles over her smooth cheek. "Except you," he agreed.
"How many chances do I get?"
"How many do you need?"
"A lot of them, I'm afraid," she said with such a gusty sigh that Zack burst out laughing and snatched her into his arms. When he let her go, he noticed the small silver chain peeking out from between the side of her collar and her throat. "What's that?" he asked.
She put her chin against her chest. "What's what?"
"This," he said, looping his finger under the chain.
Afraid that the sight of the ring would remind him of the ugliness of Mexico City, Julie hastily put her hand against her chest, trapping the ring. "Leave it alone. Please!"
Zack's eyes narrowed at her anxiety, and he felt again the unfamiliar stirrings of suspicion. "What is it?" he asked, careful to keep his voice reasonable. "A gift from an old boyfriend?"
"Something like that. I'll stop wearing it."
"Let's see it," Zack said.
"No."
"A man has a right to know something about the taste of his predecessors."
"He had wonderful taste! You'd approve. Leave it alone."
"Julie," he warned, "you are a rotten liar. What's attached to that chain?" Without giving her a chance to stop him, he brushed her hands aside and pulled out the chain.
A platinum wedding band gleamed in his hand, diamonds sparkling in the light.
Tenderness washed through him, and he pulled her onto his chest. "Why were you afraid for me to see that?"
"I'm afraid of anything that might remind you of Mexico City. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the way you looked at me before you realized I hadn't led them to you by accident…" Her voice shook, "Or the change in your face when you realized it was deliberate. I know I won't. Not ever. I'll always be afraid to see that look."
Zack regretfully postponed making love to her and moved her off his chest, sitting up. "Let's get it over with."
"What?" she said, panicking already. "Where are you going?"
"Do you have a VCR?"
Her fear turned to puzzlement. "In the living room."
Chapter 79
"What are you doing?" she asked as Zack sat down beside her and the videotape he'd taken out of his briefcase began to run. Nervously, she teased, "I hope it's Dirty Dancing and not a sexy scene from one of your movies."
He put his arm around her and quietly said, "It's the tape I've watched several times today, the one the FBI confiscated of us in Mex—"
She shook her head wildly, trying to grab the remote controller. "I don't want to see that. Not tonight! Not ever again!"
"We're going to watch it together, Julie. You and I. After that, it won't be able to come between us or hurt us, and you won't have to be afraid."
"Don't make me watch this!" she said, shaking as the voices began to explode in the airport. "I can't stand it!"
"Look at the screen," he said implacably. "We were there together, but I never knew until today what you were doing while they were taking me into custody, and I have a feeling you don't have a clear recollection of it either."
"Oh, yes, I do! I remember exactly what they were doing to you! I remember that it was my fault!"
He turned her face to the screen. "Watch you, not me. Watch and you'll see what I did—a woman who was suffering more than I was." Julie dragged her gaze to the television set, staring blindly at a scene she only wanted to forget. She saw herself screaming at everyone not to hurt him, saw Paul yanking her back, shouting at her that it was "all over," saw Hadley walking up to her with a malicious grin and dropping the ring into her hand. She saw herself clutching the ring and weeping.
He raised his brows in amused challenge. "What baby, Julie?"
The infectious smile that had brightened his life in Colorado dawned across her face with a touch of beguiling guilt to add to its appeal. "The baby I invented so you'd let me come to you."
"Oh, that baby."
She opened another button on his shirt and pressed a kiss against his throat. "Answer my question."
"Keep doing that and you stand a better chance of getting a real baby than an answer to your question."
With a laugh, she leaned her forearms against his chest, but her eyes were slumberous. "I'm terribly greedy, Zack. I want both."
Tenderly, Zack cupped her face between his hands, his thumbs rubbing over her cheeks. "Do you, darling? Want my baby?"
"Desperately."
"We'll work on that tonight if you're up to it."
She bit her lip, her shoulders shaking with laughter. "Going strictly from fading memory, you understand, I think it's a matter of whether you are."
"Up to it?" he provided, enjoying the sexual banter and the exhilaration of the unique combination of laughter and love she'd always made him feel.
She nodded.
"Actually, I've been 'up to it' most of the time since I read your letter this morning. The proof is within your reach."
The doorbell rang again, and they ignored it again, but it made Julie guiltily jerk her hand away from what he'd hoped was going to be her search for 'proof.' "Are you going to finish answering my question?" she asked.
"Yes," he sighed. "If you'll think back to the letter I wrote you, you'll remember I specifically said I'd write to her before I sent you there with our baby. Actually, I'd have written to Foster first, not to her."
"Foster? You mean the old butler?"
Zack nodded. "My grandfather and I swore him to secrecy, but he knows what happened. He was in the hall when the shot came from Justin's room, and he saw me run from my room down to Justin's. I would have released Foster from his promise and told him to speak to his employer and tell her the truth."
"She's your grandmother, Zack. Stop avoiding calling her that. I think she loved you more than you imagine. If you saw her now, talked to her, you'd realize how much of a toll all this—"
"She is dead to me, Julie," he interrupted with a bite in his voice. "After tonight, I never want to hear the woman's name or have you refer to her."
Julie opened her mouth to argue, then made a different decision, but she withheld it for the time being. With a smile in her voice, she said, "No one gets a second chance from you, right?"
"Right," he said implacably.
"Except me."
He brushed his knuckles over her smooth cheek. "Except you," he agreed.
"How many chances do I get?"
"How many do you need?"
"A lot of them, I'm afraid," she said with such a gusty sigh that Zack burst out laughing and snatched her into his arms. When he let her go, he noticed the small silver chain peeking out from between the side of her collar and her throat. "What's that?" he asked.
She put her chin against her chest. "What's what?"
"This," he said, looping his finger under the chain.
Afraid that the sight of the ring would remind him of the ugliness of Mexico City, Julie hastily put her hand against her chest, trapping the ring. "Leave it alone. Please!"
Zack's eyes narrowed at her anxiety, and he felt again the unfamiliar stirrings of suspicion. "What is it?" he asked, careful to keep his voice reasonable. "A gift from an old boyfriend?"
"Something like that. I'll stop wearing it."
"Let's see it," Zack said.
"No."
"A man has a right to know something about the taste of his predecessors."
"He had wonderful taste! You'd approve. Leave it alone."
"Julie," he warned, "you are a rotten liar. What's attached to that chain?" Without giving her a chance to stop him, he brushed her hands aside and pulled out the chain.
A platinum wedding band gleamed in his hand, diamonds sparkling in the light.
Tenderness washed through him, and he pulled her onto his chest. "Why were you afraid for me to see that?"
"I'm afraid of anything that might remind you of Mexico City. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the way you looked at me before you realized I hadn't led them to you by accident…" Her voice shook, "Or the change in your face when you realized it was deliberate. I know I won't. Not ever. I'll always be afraid to see that look."
Zack regretfully postponed making love to her and moved her off his chest, sitting up. "Let's get it over with."
"What?" she said, panicking already. "Where are you going?"
"Do you have a VCR?"
Her fear turned to puzzlement. "In the living room."
Chapter 79
"What are you doing?" she asked as Zack sat down beside her and the videotape he'd taken out of his briefcase began to run. Nervously, she teased, "I hope it's Dirty Dancing and not a sexy scene from one of your movies."
He put his arm around her and quietly said, "It's the tape I've watched several times today, the one the FBI confiscated of us in Mex—"
She shook her head wildly, trying to grab the remote controller. "I don't want to see that. Not tonight! Not ever again!"
"We're going to watch it together, Julie. You and I. After that, it won't be able to come between us or hurt us, and you won't have to be afraid."
"Don't make me watch this!" she said, shaking as the voices began to explode in the airport. "I can't stand it!"
"Look at the screen," he said implacably. "We were there together, but I never knew until today what you were doing while they were taking me into custody, and I have a feeling you don't have a clear recollection of it either."
"Oh, yes, I do! I remember exactly what they were doing to you! I remember that it was my fault!"
He turned her face to the screen. "Watch you, not me. Watch and you'll see what I did—a woman who was suffering more than I was." Julie dragged her gaze to the television set, staring blindly at a scene she only wanted to forget. She saw herself screaming at everyone not to hurt him, saw Paul yanking her back, shouting at her that it was "all over," saw Hadley walking up to her with a malicious grin and dropping the ring into her hand. She saw herself clutching the ring and weeping.
