Practical Demonkeeping
Chapter 36-37

 Christopher Moore

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36
JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
Rivera drove Robert and Jennifer to their house. They sat in the back, holding each other the whole way, not saying a word until they thanked him when he dropped them off. On the drive back to the station Rivera tried to formulate a story that would save his career. Any version of the true story seemed like a sure ticket to a psychological disability retirement. In the end he decided to tell the story as far as the point where The Breeze disappeared.
A month later Rivera was pumping Slush-Puppies at the Seven-Eleven, working undercover for the robbery division. However, with the arrest of a team of robbers that had terrorized convenience stores in the county for six months, he was promoted to lieutenant.
Amanda and Travis rode with Howard. At Amanda's request, Gian Hen Gian saw that Effrom's body was turned to stone and placed inside the cave. When Howard stopped in front of Amanda's house, she invited Travis to come inside. He refused at first, wanting to leave her alone with her grief.
"Have you completely missed the significance of all this, Travis?" she asked.
"I guess so," he said.
"Did it occur to you that the presence of Catch and Gian Hen Gian proves that Effrom is not gone completely? I will miss him, but he goes on. And I don't want to be alone right now. I helped you when you needed it," she said, and she waited.
Travis went in.
Howard went home to work on a new menu for his restaurant.
Chief Technical Sergeant Nailsworth never found out what happened to Roxanne or who she really was, and he was heartbroken. Because of his grief he was unable to eat, lost a hundred and fifty pounds, met a girl at a computer user's meeting, and married her. He never had computer sex again outside the privacy of his home.
37
GOOD GUYS
Augustus Brine declined offers for a ride home. He wanted to walk. He needed to think. Gian Hen Gian walked at his side.
"I can repair your truck, make it fly if you wish," the Djinn said.
"I don't want it," Brine said. "I'm not even sure I want to go home."
"You may do as you wish, Augustus Brine."
"I don't want to go back to the store either. I think I'll give the business to Robert and Jenny."
"Is it wise to put the drunkard in the wine barrel?"
"He won't drink anymore. I want them to have the house, too. I'll start the paperwork in the morning."
"It is done."
"Just like that?"
"You doubt the word of the King of the Djinn?"
They walked in silence for a while before Brine spoke again.
"It seems wrong that Travis has lived so long without having a life, without love."
"Like yourself, you mean?"
"No, not like myself. I've had a good life."
"Would you have me make him young again?"
Brine thought for a moment before he answered. "Could you make him age in reverse? For each year that passes he is a year younger?"
"It can be done."
"And her, too?"
"Her?"
"Amanda. Could you make them grow young together?"
"It can be done, if you command it."
"I do."
"It is done. Will you tell them?"
"No, not right away. It will be a nice surprise."
"And what of yourself, Augustus Brine? What is it you wish?"
"I don't know. I always thought I'd make a good madam."
Before the Djinn could say anything else, Rachel's van sputtered up beside them and stopped. She rolled down the window and said, "Do you need a ride, Gus?"
"He is trying to think," the Djinn snapped.
"Don't be rude," Brine said to the Djinn. "Which way are you going?"
"I don't know for sure. I don't feel like going home  -  maybe ever."
Brine walked around the front of the van and slid open the cargo door. "Get in, Gian Hen Gian."
The Djinn got into the van. Brine slammed the cargo door and climbed into the passenger seat next to Rachel.
"Well?" she said.
"East," Brine said. "Nevada."
It was called King's Lake. When it appeared in the desert, it simultaneously appeared on every map of Nevada that had ever been printed. People who had passed through that part of the state swore that they had never seen it before, yet there it was on the map.
Above the tree-lined banks of King's Lake stood a palace with a hundred rooms. Atop the palace a massive electric sign read, BRINE'S BAIT, TACKLE, AND FINE WOMEN.
Anyone who visited the palace was greeted by a beautiful, dark-haired woman, who took their money and led them to a room. On their way out a tiny brown man in a rumpled suit returned their money and wished them well.
Upon returning home the visitors told of a white-haired man who sat all day in the lotus position at the end of a pier in front of the palace, fishing and smoking a pipe. They said that when evening approached, the dark-haired woman would join the man and together they would watch the sun go down.
The visitors were never quite clear as to what had happened to them while they were at the palace. It didn't seem to matter. But after a visit they found that they appreciated the simple pleasures that life presented to them and they were happy. And although they recommended Brine's to their friends, they never returned themselves.
What went on in the rooms is another story altogether.