Preppy: The Life & Death of Samuel Clearwater, Part Three
Page 35
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“I know this is where I’m supposed to make you promises and I’ll get to that part, but first I want to thank you for being here, for putting on that dress and walking down that aisle. For saying yes. To me. To Bo. To us as a family.” He took a deep breath. “I hate those vows where they make promises that sound ridiculous so I’m gonna tell you how I know things will go down and the truth is that I’m probably gonna fuck up. A lot. I won’t do it on purpose and I’ll never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but I’m flawed and I’m gonna fuck it up from time to time. I’m not a religious man, but I promise to never lose faith in you. Please don’t ever lose faith in me.”
“I won’t,” I mouthed, feeling my chest hurt with happiness.
“I may not be much, but I’m too selfish to let you go find someone who is good enough for you, although I doubt he exists because you’re good. So fucking good. I promise that I’m yours and yours alone. Body and whatever’s left of this tattered soul.” Preppy reached out and took my hands in his. “Remember a long time ago when I said we were the same? I didn’t really know what I meant back then, but I do now. We struggle. We overcome. We’re loyal. We love with everything we have and fight with everything and more. I’ll fight for you and Bo. Every fucking day with everything I have.”
Preppy wiped his eyes and then reached across to catch a tear on the corner of my eye.
“Andrea,” the reverend said.
I mentally tossed around the words I’d prepared, but had no idea how to get them out of my mouth. I took a deep breath and then focused on Preppy and his burning amber eyes. At the last second I mentally threw away my prepared words and decided to wing it, keeping it short and to the point. “I love you, Samuel Clearwater. I’ll love you forever and I’ll show you every single day how you’re not only perfect for me, but good enough for me, and I’ll try my best to be worthy of you. You not only saved my life, but you gave me a life. I am who I am because of you. I’ll love you now and forever. In life and in death, and especially in the in-between.”
Preppy sucked in a breath when he realized I’d used a line from the letter he’d written me. “Not even death do us part,” he whispered.
“Not even death do us part,” I repeated on a choked sob.
“Awe fuck, Doc,” Preppy said reaching around behind me and grabbing the back of my neck. He pulled me close and kissed me deeply. The crowd whistled and hooted us on much to the reverend’s dismay who literally had to put his hands between us to separate us.
“Just a minute, we’ve got to get to the part that makes this thing legit,” Preppy said, pulling back and clearing his throat. I leaned over to wipe my lipstick off the side of Preppy’s mouth. I was floating on another level of happiness when the reverend introduced us as “Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Clearwater.”
We both grabbed Bo’s hand and were about to walk back down the aisle when Kevin put two fingers in his mouth and made a loud whistling noise, silencing the crowd who turned their attentions on him. “Wait!” he shouted, stepping in front of us, blocking our exit. I squeezed Preppy’s hand tightly and in an instant my happiness turned to panic.
Kevin reached inside his jacket pocket. “This isn’t over yet.”
****
I was about to push Bo into the crowd for safety and lunge myself at Kevin when I realized what he pulled out of his jacket wasn’t a knife or gun, it was a handkerchief. He used it to wipe the beads of sweat from his forehead. “It’s fucking hot out here,” he muttered, tucking the scrap of fabric back into his pocket. He glanced down at Bo, giving him a wink. “Are you ready, kid?”
Bo gave him a thumbs up and the crowd parted to give us more room. Kevin brought Bo back to the front of the crowd. He produced a milk crate for Bo to stand on. “Whenever you’re ready,” Kevin said, taking a step back. Now Preppy and I were part of the onlookers and we both exchanged a confused look.
“What exactly do you have up your sleeve, kiddo?” Preppy asked.
Hold on. Bo signed. Preppy chuckled, keeping my hand tucked under his arm.
Bo looked to Kevin for encouragement. “You got this, buddy,” he said before turning to us. “He wanted to say something on your special day. He’s been practicing nonstop.”
Preppy and I both smiled and Bo took a deep breath. We were both expecting him to start signing his speech, but when he opened his mouth and started to speak, Preppy had to hold me up for support. I didn’t even feel us moving but before I could register putting one step in front of the other, Preppy and I were both standing directly in front of Bo.
“Happy wedding day, Mommy and Daddy. I love you.”
That was his entire speech, but I felt like he’d said so much with so few words. He’d barely finished when he leapt toward us and we’d wrapped him in a hug. “That was fucking amazing,” Preppy said. No one bothered to correct his swearing to Bo because he was right. Amazing by itself wouldn’t have done that moment justice.
It was fucking amazing.
After squeezing Bo until he squirmed uncomfortably, Preppy stood to address the crowd. “I realized that I almost forgot something. The entire reason why we are here. In this cemetery for our wedding.” He pointed down to the headstone. “This isn’t mine anymore.” That’s when I noticed for the first time the brown paper bag covering it. “But there is someone else who I thought should have it.” He glanced over at me. “Someone who should be remembered.” He pulled off the bag and I gasped. My heart stuck in my throat like I swallowed a boulder.
Preppy had the headstone changed out. It no longer read Samuel Clearwater.
I dropped to my knees and ran my fingers over the engraved letters in the smooth granite.
Baby Clearwater
Beloved Daughter & Sister
We’ll see you again,
in the in-between
I don’t know how long I sat there, staring at those beautiful letters honoring the daughter Preppy and I never got to meet, but it must have been a while because by the time I looked up, everyone was gone.
Everyone, except Preppy, who was kneeling next to me. “Where’s Bo?” I asked.
“Ray and King took him with them to their house to get the reception ready.”
“Thank you,” I said, allowing him to pull me up to a standing position. I shook the grass from my dress. “Thank you so much.”
“I won’t,” I mouthed, feeling my chest hurt with happiness.
“I may not be much, but I’m too selfish to let you go find someone who is good enough for you, although I doubt he exists because you’re good. So fucking good. I promise that I’m yours and yours alone. Body and whatever’s left of this tattered soul.” Preppy reached out and took my hands in his. “Remember a long time ago when I said we were the same? I didn’t really know what I meant back then, but I do now. We struggle. We overcome. We’re loyal. We love with everything we have and fight with everything and more. I’ll fight for you and Bo. Every fucking day with everything I have.”
Preppy wiped his eyes and then reached across to catch a tear on the corner of my eye.
“Andrea,” the reverend said.
I mentally tossed around the words I’d prepared, but had no idea how to get them out of my mouth. I took a deep breath and then focused on Preppy and his burning amber eyes. At the last second I mentally threw away my prepared words and decided to wing it, keeping it short and to the point. “I love you, Samuel Clearwater. I’ll love you forever and I’ll show you every single day how you’re not only perfect for me, but good enough for me, and I’ll try my best to be worthy of you. You not only saved my life, but you gave me a life. I am who I am because of you. I’ll love you now and forever. In life and in death, and especially in the in-between.”
Preppy sucked in a breath when he realized I’d used a line from the letter he’d written me. “Not even death do us part,” he whispered.
“Not even death do us part,” I repeated on a choked sob.
“Awe fuck, Doc,” Preppy said reaching around behind me and grabbing the back of my neck. He pulled me close and kissed me deeply. The crowd whistled and hooted us on much to the reverend’s dismay who literally had to put his hands between us to separate us.
“Just a minute, we’ve got to get to the part that makes this thing legit,” Preppy said, pulling back and clearing his throat. I leaned over to wipe my lipstick off the side of Preppy’s mouth. I was floating on another level of happiness when the reverend introduced us as “Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Clearwater.”
We both grabbed Bo’s hand and were about to walk back down the aisle when Kevin put two fingers in his mouth and made a loud whistling noise, silencing the crowd who turned their attentions on him. “Wait!” he shouted, stepping in front of us, blocking our exit. I squeezed Preppy’s hand tightly and in an instant my happiness turned to panic.
Kevin reached inside his jacket pocket. “This isn’t over yet.”
****
I was about to push Bo into the crowd for safety and lunge myself at Kevin when I realized what he pulled out of his jacket wasn’t a knife or gun, it was a handkerchief. He used it to wipe the beads of sweat from his forehead. “It’s fucking hot out here,” he muttered, tucking the scrap of fabric back into his pocket. He glanced down at Bo, giving him a wink. “Are you ready, kid?”
Bo gave him a thumbs up and the crowd parted to give us more room. Kevin brought Bo back to the front of the crowd. He produced a milk crate for Bo to stand on. “Whenever you’re ready,” Kevin said, taking a step back. Now Preppy and I were part of the onlookers and we both exchanged a confused look.
“What exactly do you have up your sleeve, kiddo?” Preppy asked.
Hold on. Bo signed. Preppy chuckled, keeping my hand tucked under his arm.
Bo looked to Kevin for encouragement. “You got this, buddy,” he said before turning to us. “He wanted to say something on your special day. He’s been practicing nonstop.”
Preppy and I both smiled and Bo took a deep breath. We were both expecting him to start signing his speech, but when he opened his mouth and started to speak, Preppy had to hold me up for support. I didn’t even feel us moving but before I could register putting one step in front of the other, Preppy and I were both standing directly in front of Bo.
“Happy wedding day, Mommy and Daddy. I love you.”
That was his entire speech, but I felt like he’d said so much with so few words. He’d barely finished when he leapt toward us and we’d wrapped him in a hug. “That was fucking amazing,” Preppy said. No one bothered to correct his swearing to Bo because he was right. Amazing by itself wouldn’t have done that moment justice.
It was fucking amazing.
After squeezing Bo until he squirmed uncomfortably, Preppy stood to address the crowd. “I realized that I almost forgot something. The entire reason why we are here. In this cemetery for our wedding.” He pointed down to the headstone. “This isn’t mine anymore.” That’s when I noticed for the first time the brown paper bag covering it. “But there is someone else who I thought should have it.” He glanced over at me. “Someone who should be remembered.” He pulled off the bag and I gasped. My heart stuck in my throat like I swallowed a boulder.
Preppy had the headstone changed out. It no longer read Samuel Clearwater.
I dropped to my knees and ran my fingers over the engraved letters in the smooth granite.
Baby Clearwater
Beloved Daughter & Sister
We’ll see you again,
in the in-between
I don’t know how long I sat there, staring at those beautiful letters honoring the daughter Preppy and I never got to meet, but it must have been a while because by the time I looked up, everyone was gone.
Everyone, except Preppy, who was kneeling next to me. “Where’s Bo?” I asked.
“Ray and King took him with them to their house to get the reception ready.”
“Thank you,” I said, allowing him to pull me up to a standing position. I shook the grass from my dress. “Thank you so much.”
