But I couldn’t do it. I wanted Malone to pay as badly as my dad did, and frankly I was glad we were finally on the same page.
I took a deep breath and nodded. “How?”
“Immediate retaliation. The numbers are to our advantage—” because our Pride had the largest population of any in the country “—and I meant what I told Paul Blackwell. If Malone wants a war, he’s damn well going to get one. I’ll call in every tom in the territory.”
Oh, hell.
I stood, trying to keep my hands from shaking as I crossed the room toward his desk. “Um, nearly a quarter of our toms are still out looking for Marc.”
“I know.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “The men who are already out can keep looking, but I can’t spare anyone else.”
“Daddy… I have to go back.” I righted the overturned stapler on his desk, then picked up the cat-shaped paperweight and turned it over in my hands. “There’s nothing I can do for Ethan, but Marc needs me.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught the glance Owen and Dr. Carver exchanged—part pity, part resignation. They didn’t believe Marc was alive.
My father stared at me for a moment, as if trying to concentrate on what I’d said. What I was trying to say. Then he nodded, and bowed his head for a moment in thought. “Of course he does.” I saw my own confliction reflected on his face. He took the stone cat from me and set the paperweight on a stack of papers. “After Kaci Shifts, Jace can drive you and Dan back to Mississippi. He’ll have to come back, though,” he said, gaze shifting briefly to Jace. “We can’t afford to have our resources spread so thin right now.”
I nodded, numb. How the hell could we handle all of it at once? There weren’t enough of us to find Marc before the strays did, avenge Ethan against Malone’s Pride, and protect Kaci from the council’s scheming. Not even if we called in every tom we had.
None of our opponents had to fight on so many fronts simultaneously.
“No problem.” Jace’s voice cracked on the first words he’d spoken since we’d…been summoned to the office. “I’d be glad to take her.”
Startled by the double entendre I hoped no one else had caught, I glanced at him before I could stop myself, and I found him watching me intently. His tortured gaze held mine captive, and my heart thumped harder in response to such boldly intimate contact in the midst of an official Pride gathering.
I struggled to slow my pulse before my father heard it. Fortunately, my dad was so devastated and distracted by the recent tragedy that he hadn’t noticed the sudden tension in the room, or the physical signs of stress I was waving like white flags.
But Owen noticed. He shot me questioning glances, but I avoided his eyes. Carver thought he understood what had happened between me and Jace, but Owen wouldn’t even come close. And as much as I loved him, as much as I wanted to be physically close to him to mourn our brother together, I couldn’t explain it to him. Not then.
Maybe not ever.
I’d just lost the one brother who might have understood.
My father cleared his throat and blinked, as if refocusing his uncharacteristically scattered thoughts. “I need to start making calls.” He motioned to Dr. Carver with one arm extended, hand open. “Bring me the phone.” The doctor complied, and as my father dialed, he glanced at me again. “I called Michael first, about an hour ago. He’s as upset as the rest of us, but insists he’s okay to drive. But he’d already dropped Vic off with Parker. Would you mind telling them about…all of this?”
I nodded reluctantly, my chest tightening as I dug my phone from my pocket. I was not a very good bearer of bad news.
“Hi, Rick,” my father said into his phone, and I scrolled through the names in my own call list while he spoke to my maternal uncle. “I’m sorry to call so early, but I, uh… I have some bad news.” My dad paused and forced an awkward laugh, rubbing his forehead as if he were trying to wear the skin from his skull. “That’s probably the biggest understatement I’ve ever uttered.”
Another pause, and distantly I heard my uncle ask if my father was okay.
“No, I’m not,” Daddy said. “Ethan’s dead, Rick.”
And that was all I could take. I hurried into the hall, ostensibly to make my call in private. But mostly to avoid hearing that horrible sentence uttered again.
“Hello?” Vic said into my ear, his voice crackly from the poor reception and hoarse with fatigue. He was still out in the woods, looking for Marc.
I passed Kaci’s room on the way to my own and saw my mother in an armchair next to the bed, asleep with her head fallen to one side. Her face was still red and swollen from recent tears. “Hey, Vic, it’s me,” I whispered as I passed, hoping not to wake my mom.
Over the line, leaves crunched and a twig snapped, and his next words sounded much more alert. “What’s wrong? Is it Kaci?”
“No.” I stepped into my room and closed the door, then leaned against it. “It’s Ethan.” I sniffled and closed my eyes, determined not to cry again. I’d never get through the phone call once the tears started.
The crunching footsteps stopped, and a heavy quiet settled over the line. “How did it happen?” I heard comprehension in his voice. Vic may not have known the specifics, but he knew the outcome.
“He and Jace took Kaci for a walk in the woods,” I said, and the tears came anyway. “They were attacked by four of Malone’s toms. Jace made it back with Kaci, but Ethan stayed to hold them off.” By the end, even I could barely understand what I was saying, but Vic seemed to have no trouble.
I took a deep breath and nodded. “How?”
“Immediate retaliation. The numbers are to our advantage—” because our Pride had the largest population of any in the country “—and I meant what I told Paul Blackwell. If Malone wants a war, he’s damn well going to get one. I’ll call in every tom in the territory.”
Oh, hell.
I stood, trying to keep my hands from shaking as I crossed the room toward his desk. “Um, nearly a quarter of our toms are still out looking for Marc.”
“I know.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “The men who are already out can keep looking, but I can’t spare anyone else.”
“Daddy… I have to go back.” I righted the overturned stapler on his desk, then picked up the cat-shaped paperweight and turned it over in my hands. “There’s nothing I can do for Ethan, but Marc needs me.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught the glance Owen and Dr. Carver exchanged—part pity, part resignation. They didn’t believe Marc was alive.
My father stared at me for a moment, as if trying to concentrate on what I’d said. What I was trying to say. Then he nodded, and bowed his head for a moment in thought. “Of course he does.” I saw my own confliction reflected on his face. He took the stone cat from me and set the paperweight on a stack of papers. “After Kaci Shifts, Jace can drive you and Dan back to Mississippi. He’ll have to come back, though,” he said, gaze shifting briefly to Jace. “We can’t afford to have our resources spread so thin right now.”
I nodded, numb. How the hell could we handle all of it at once? There weren’t enough of us to find Marc before the strays did, avenge Ethan against Malone’s Pride, and protect Kaci from the council’s scheming. Not even if we called in every tom we had.
None of our opponents had to fight on so many fronts simultaneously.
“No problem.” Jace’s voice cracked on the first words he’d spoken since we’d…been summoned to the office. “I’d be glad to take her.”
Startled by the double entendre I hoped no one else had caught, I glanced at him before I could stop myself, and I found him watching me intently. His tortured gaze held mine captive, and my heart thumped harder in response to such boldly intimate contact in the midst of an official Pride gathering.
I struggled to slow my pulse before my father heard it. Fortunately, my dad was so devastated and distracted by the recent tragedy that he hadn’t noticed the sudden tension in the room, or the physical signs of stress I was waving like white flags.
But Owen noticed. He shot me questioning glances, but I avoided his eyes. Carver thought he understood what had happened between me and Jace, but Owen wouldn’t even come close. And as much as I loved him, as much as I wanted to be physically close to him to mourn our brother together, I couldn’t explain it to him. Not then.
Maybe not ever.
I’d just lost the one brother who might have understood.
My father cleared his throat and blinked, as if refocusing his uncharacteristically scattered thoughts. “I need to start making calls.” He motioned to Dr. Carver with one arm extended, hand open. “Bring me the phone.” The doctor complied, and as my father dialed, he glanced at me again. “I called Michael first, about an hour ago. He’s as upset as the rest of us, but insists he’s okay to drive. But he’d already dropped Vic off with Parker. Would you mind telling them about…all of this?”
I nodded reluctantly, my chest tightening as I dug my phone from my pocket. I was not a very good bearer of bad news.
“Hi, Rick,” my father said into his phone, and I scrolled through the names in my own call list while he spoke to my maternal uncle. “I’m sorry to call so early, but I, uh… I have some bad news.” My dad paused and forced an awkward laugh, rubbing his forehead as if he were trying to wear the skin from his skull. “That’s probably the biggest understatement I’ve ever uttered.”
Another pause, and distantly I heard my uncle ask if my father was okay.
“No, I’m not,” Daddy said. “Ethan’s dead, Rick.”
And that was all I could take. I hurried into the hall, ostensibly to make my call in private. But mostly to avoid hearing that horrible sentence uttered again.
“Hello?” Vic said into my ear, his voice crackly from the poor reception and hoarse with fatigue. He was still out in the woods, looking for Marc.
I passed Kaci’s room on the way to my own and saw my mother in an armchair next to the bed, asleep with her head fallen to one side. Her face was still red and swollen from recent tears. “Hey, Vic, it’s me,” I whispered as I passed, hoping not to wake my mom.
Over the line, leaves crunched and a twig snapped, and his next words sounded much more alert. “What’s wrong? Is it Kaci?”
“No.” I stepped into my room and closed the door, then leaned against it. “It’s Ethan.” I sniffled and closed my eyes, determined not to cry again. I’d never get through the phone call once the tears started.
The crunching footsteps stopped, and a heavy quiet settled over the line. “How did it happen?” I heard comprehension in his voice. Vic may not have known the specifics, but he knew the outcome.
“He and Jace took Kaci for a walk in the woods,” I said, and the tears came anyway. “They were attacked by four of Malone’s toms. Jace made it back with Kaci, but Ethan stayed to hold them off.” By the end, even I could barely understand what I was saying, but Vic seemed to have no trouble.
