Quintessentially Q
Page 15
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I snorted, remembering how satisfying it’d been to pull the trigger and cause bodily harm. He dared put his hands on Tess—hurt her, torture her. I would kill him next time I saw him.
Then my heart died with black repulsion remembering how Tess fainted from pain and shock. That night would go down as one of the best and worst of my life.
Shaking away the memories, I asked, “Have you heard anything? Did you rush through that bastard’s paperwork?” I wanted to confirm the building permits he requested as soon as possible. After all, the approval of his application represented Tess’s freedom. Her life for a piece of concrete and glass in the heart of Moscow. A front for laundered money, weapons, and women.
“Yes. The permits have been approved thanks to some carefully greased palms. But I don’t think that’s the end of it. The guy you shot wasn’t just his minion. It was the Wolverine’s son.”
My eyes popped wide, and I choked on my own spit.“Merde.” Just my f**king luck. I put Tess in harm’s way to protect the truth, and I go and shoot the f**king mafia’s golden child.
The blond idiot in his ridiculous white jumpsuit sprang to mind. I’d thrilled with pleasure when his blood seeped through his pants. He’d been taught a lesson, and Franco gave him an extra little something to remember us by when he kicked his ass out of my home.
What the hell did it mean? Would the Red Wolverine come after me for hurting his only offspring? I needed to pre-empt him before he got any wild ideas about retribution.
Frederick interrupted my plotting. “I want to meet her, Mercer.”
My eyes shot to his. “You think I want you talking to her? Telling her to run as far as she can away from me?” He never would, I knew that, but my chuckle held too much pain and stark truth to be ignored.
Je suis un faible idiot. I’m such a weak idiot.
Frederick laughed, dispelling the awkwardness. “I won’t divulge your secrets. But I do want to talk to her. I want to make sure she’s worthy of my friend.”
I rolled my eyes, ignoring his sappy comment. Damn idiot.
The door swung open and in siphoned the managers we’d been waiting on.
Frederick shifted from happy-go-lucky-friend to strict-second-in-command, facing his underlings with an iron grip. The hierarchy in the room included me as the big motherfucker and Frederick as my right-hand man. He was the link between my orders and making sure that the thousand plus staff did as they were told.
I sat silent as Katya, a long-legged fiercely intelligent woman who had bigger balls than most men, strode in. Her talents lay in project managing and sourcing new contacts. Kevin, with his balding head and spectacles, was in charge of accounting, Samuel, with his dreadlocks and scruffy clothes, worked mainly with trade staff and hands-on affairs, and last but not least was Sandra, the stern, grey-haired woman in charge of human resources.
They smiled and murmured greetings, but no one dared talk to me outside a business level. And that’s the way I liked it.
Once everyone was seated, I clapped my hands once and said, “Now we’re all here. Let’s begin.”
*****
Two hours into the debrief, an ache formed relentlessly behind my eyes. The headache I’d fought since the helicopter nagged stronger and stronger.
Logistics and figures swarmed in my head until I couldn’t hear anything but a gentle buzz. I battled through it.
Turns out I had two weaknesses: control and f**king migraines.
I poured some water, hoping it was just dehydration. Forcing myself to focus when all I wanted to do was go back to Tess and curl up to rest.
Ten minutes later, the numbers on a new acquisition in Hong Kong bounced off the page and slithered onto the table. My vision fuzzed then sharpened like I took a strong hallucinogenic. A sure signal I’d left the realm of headache and ploughed straight toward a migraine.
“Yes, but what if we bought the building next to it. We could consolidate the lots and secure the permit for a thirty-story hotel,” Frederick said to Katya, chewing on the end of a pen.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the overwhelming thickness taking over my brain. Shit, this couldn’t come on a worse day. What with the stress of Tess’s panic attack and hearing the Red Wolverine wasn’t happy, I didn’t have time to be f**king sick.
Katya said something and the entire table turned to stare at me.
I couldn’t move my tongue to make a proper sentence. Merde, I never got this bad so fast. It normally crept over me, stealing a little of my senses, giving me time to get the hell out of there and hide my one bodily weakness.
“Mercer. You all right?” Frederick patted my hand. My eyes shot to his, but I had to squint against the pain of bringing him into focus.
I can’t do this.
The only way to break it was a dark room, and Tess’s heavenly fingers to massage away the agony.
Tess.
All I wanted to do was be with her. I needed her. She’d help cure me—just like she cured me of everything else.
The beast inside whimpered, agreeing that in this circumstance, it didn’t want to hurt her. It wanted her to be gentle and nurse me.
Shaking my head, I swallowed back the rush of nausea and stood. Forcing myself to act cool and fully in control, I said, “It sounds as if you’re more than under control here. If you’ll excuse me, I have other business to attend to.”
Frederick frowned, but nodded. “No problem. I’ll keep you up to speed with what we decide on the Hong Kong and London development.”
I nodded approval, which sent the world suffering a bout of turbulence. I hated when it got this bad. I hated being so weak.
Keeping my lips tightly together, just in case my morning coffee decided to make a reappearance, I strode firmly out of the room.
The second the door closed behind me, I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. It felt as if no oxygen existed inside this goddamn building. I fumbled with my collar, trying to undo the top button.
The door clicked open, and I spun painfully to face whoever it was.
Frederick watched me with concern. “Another one? That’s one a month for a while now, man. You promised you’d go to the doctor.”
I didn’t have the strength to tell him I did go to the doctor. And for me to admit I had a problem was a big f**king deal. But on paper there was nothing wrong with me.
The headaches were stress related, apparently.
In my painful haze, I mumbled something incoherent and headed on the marathon journey to get back to my private office.
Don’t think. Just get to Tess.
Frederick followed me to the elevator, and I swiped my identification to activate my private lift. It was the only elevator that went to the roof. I didn’t want anyone else going up there without my permission.
The whir of the arriving machine cut off as the metal doors swung open. Frederick’s arm stuck out, barring my way.
Fiery hot shards poked my brain, stealing my colour vision, making him look as if he dripped with sienna and taupe. “Get out of my way, Roux.”
He lifted his arm and let me enter, but jumped in a millisecond later. He eyed me, prodding me in the temple with a finger.
I winced and swung at him, but my perception was way off; I punched the mirrored wall instead.
“Yep, you’re having a full attack, man. Not good.”
Agony flared in my knuckles and I growled, nursing my hand. “Thanks for the advice. You going to charge me for that?”
He smiled. “Nope. That’s on the house.” He pressed the top button and we rode in silence before he said, “Don’t bother wasting your breath telling me to f**k off. I’ll stay until you’ve had some painkillers and that woman of yours has got you on the couch and resting.”
I didn’t want to argue with that. It sounded f**king perfect. But I hated being told what to do. The last time I obeyed anyone I was eight and let my father kill a slave for sneaking out to find food for her starving bed mates.
Fuck that shit. I never wanted to take orders again.
Frederick snuck glances at me, but I ignored him, focusing on curling my fists so hard my fingers threatened to break. The chance of a fracture prevented the fog of pain from devouring me completely.
I stepped back a little and skidded on a puddle of water. I figured my brain was playing tricks on me. I discounted it, but then froze. I could smell it.
Frost.
Orchids.
Tess.
My body locked down as panic charged through my limbs. Why the hell had she been in the lift? And without me? She wouldn’t be able to get back without my keycard.
Frederick raised an eyebrow, noticing my trembling muscles. “What the hell, Q?” He came forward but slipped, too.
His eyes shot to the floor, reaching out to grab the side rail to avoid slamming to the floor. “Huh. That’s strange. There shouldn’t be a leak in here.”
My instincts roared to life—trying to tell me something—something I should’ve noticed the second I entered the lift.
The beast inside sniffed and howled. Something was seriously f**king wrong.
The conclusion kept darting out of reach. I slapped myself in the head, trying to get my brain into some sense of working order. The migraine curled around my neurons, making me dumb as a piece of concrete.
I inhaled deep, trying to calm my crazy pulse. The scent of Tess swam in my pounding head, making my heart thud and c**k twitch.
And that’s when it f**king hit me.
My entire body felt as if knives dragged along my skin, flaying me alive. The world screeched to a halt.
“Shit.” Tess!
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Frederick asked, eyes flying around the lift, looking for some unseen threat.
The rush of panic shoved the migraine away as it darted down my spine. Rage followed hot behind, filling me like a cannon. They f**king dared touch her! My body coiled with the need to attack, to turn animalistic and rip apart anyone who touched my woman.
I sniffed again, dragging the horrible stench of cigarettes and grease into my lungs.
Must and body odour.
Men.
Something malicious wrapped around my stomach, dragging images of every bastard I’d dealt with in the trafficking industry. I didn’t understand how I recognised the stench, but I knew.
Evil had been in this lift. With Tess.
I needed out of this metal box that travelled way far too slow. I needed to scale the building like King Kong and smash every last ass**le into pulp.
Snarling, I punched the mirrored wall so hard it shattered. Cracks radiated from my fist, splintering into tiny pieces and tinkling to the floor.
“Mercer, wh—”
The elevator doors opened, and I bolted.
I slammed my shoulder into the metal door and gulped in a breath as I stumbled and fell to my knee. The sun was a dagger, a f**king bazooka to my head with its brightness. My vision turned completely white as I battled to stay lucid.
Gritting my teeth, I forced my body to obey and half-lumbered, half-ran across the minefield of sunlight. Birds took wing, squawking at my interruption.
With my heart in my throat, I exploded into my office.
“Mercer! Tell me what the hell is going on! You’re f**king scaring me.” Frederick chased after me. I didn’t waste my breath answering. I couldn’t afford to waste any part of my rapidly failing body.
I had to know Tess was here. Safe. Protected.
It’s all in my mind. It’s a horrid daydream. My brain is playing tricks. It’s not real.
But the stench was worse here, the carpet wet with large puddles. Shit.
The energy of the office wasn’t tranquil anymore, it was tainted. Brittle and tense, it lurked with a nasty undercurrent: something black and hellishly cold—evil and putrid.
The migraine throbbed around my skull, squeezing my thoughts in a never-ending vice. I sensed death and unhappiness. Tess’s strength and pureness were nowhere to be found. Some chasm that had been full before was now empty and dark.
Don’t be such a f**king drama queen.
I stomped on the fear, crushing it. The stink of cigarettes permeated the lounge, guiding me down the corridor and into the spare bedroom.
I followed the reek, but retraced my steps to unlock my HK P2000 pistol from the sideboard. Frederick skidded into the office, gawking around like a maniac. Considering he was supposed to be the calm one of our duo, he looked wired and ready to kill.
“Do you think I should take that?” He eyed the gun in my unsteady hand. My vision wavered in and out. One moment full colour, the next black and white. He had a point, but screw my head. Screw my shitty eyesight. I was in charge of Tess’s safety; I’d use the f**king gun.
Ignoring him, I crouched and moved silently down the corridor. I’d never been so thankful for being deathly silent on my feet before.
The urge to shoot some f**ktard who dared breach my space and take what was mine consumed me. The beast inside roared and raged, ready to go nuclear with fury.
I swung my arm wide, finger pressing the trigger as I entered the bedroom.
Nothing.
The bed was untouched, the room perfect as I left it.
Frederick fell back, keeping close to me with his legs bent, ready to fight at a moment’s notice. If I had to have anyone at my back, it was him. He looked like a pu**y, but he fought with the best of them.
Frederick was my wingman, my confidant, and ally, but he didn’t have the same blackness in his soul, or the blurred lines of right and wrong.
“Tess, où es tu?” Where are you? I whisper-growled, inching into the walk-in wardrobe.
A single empty hanger lay on the floor.
My heart exploded through my ribs; my headache stole my vision, leaving me completely blind for a second.
I grabbed hold of the shelf holding my shoes, trying to stabilize myself and bring my heart rate into submission.
Then my heart died with black repulsion remembering how Tess fainted from pain and shock. That night would go down as one of the best and worst of my life.
Shaking away the memories, I asked, “Have you heard anything? Did you rush through that bastard’s paperwork?” I wanted to confirm the building permits he requested as soon as possible. After all, the approval of his application represented Tess’s freedom. Her life for a piece of concrete and glass in the heart of Moscow. A front for laundered money, weapons, and women.
“Yes. The permits have been approved thanks to some carefully greased palms. But I don’t think that’s the end of it. The guy you shot wasn’t just his minion. It was the Wolverine’s son.”
My eyes popped wide, and I choked on my own spit.“Merde.” Just my f**king luck. I put Tess in harm’s way to protect the truth, and I go and shoot the f**king mafia’s golden child.
The blond idiot in his ridiculous white jumpsuit sprang to mind. I’d thrilled with pleasure when his blood seeped through his pants. He’d been taught a lesson, and Franco gave him an extra little something to remember us by when he kicked his ass out of my home.
What the hell did it mean? Would the Red Wolverine come after me for hurting his only offspring? I needed to pre-empt him before he got any wild ideas about retribution.
Frederick interrupted my plotting. “I want to meet her, Mercer.”
My eyes shot to his. “You think I want you talking to her? Telling her to run as far as she can away from me?” He never would, I knew that, but my chuckle held too much pain and stark truth to be ignored.
Je suis un faible idiot. I’m such a weak idiot.
Frederick laughed, dispelling the awkwardness. “I won’t divulge your secrets. But I do want to talk to her. I want to make sure she’s worthy of my friend.”
I rolled my eyes, ignoring his sappy comment. Damn idiot.
The door swung open and in siphoned the managers we’d been waiting on.
Frederick shifted from happy-go-lucky-friend to strict-second-in-command, facing his underlings with an iron grip. The hierarchy in the room included me as the big motherfucker and Frederick as my right-hand man. He was the link between my orders and making sure that the thousand plus staff did as they were told.
I sat silent as Katya, a long-legged fiercely intelligent woman who had bigger balls than most men, strode in. Her talents lay in project managing and sourcing new contacts. Kevin, with his balding head and spectacles, was in charge of accounting, Samuel, with his dreadlocks and scruffy clothes, worked mainly with trade staff and hands-on affairs, and last but not least was Sandra, the stern, grey-haired woman in charge of human resources.
They smiled and murmured greetings, but no one dared talk to me outside a business level. And that’s the way I liked it.
Once everyone was seated, I clapped my hands once and said, “Now we’re all here. Let’s begin.”
*****
Two hours into the debrief, an ache formed relentlessly behind my eyes. The headache I’d fought since the helicopter nagged stronger and stronger.
Logistics and figures swarmed in my head until I couldn’t hear anything but a gentle buzz. I battled through it.
Turns out I had two weaknesses: control and f**king migraines.
I poured some water, hoping it was just dehydration. Forcing myself to focus when all I wanted to do was go back to Tess and curl up to rest.
Ten minutes later, the numbers on a new acquisition in Hong Kong bounced off the page and slithered onto the table. My vision fuzzed then sharpened like I took a strong hallucinogenic. A sure signal I’d left the realm of headache and ploughed straight toward a migraine.
“Yes, but what if we bought the building next to it. We could consolidate the lots and secure the permit for a thirty-story hotel,” Frederick said to Katya, chewing on the end of a pen.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the overwhelming thickness taking over my brain. Shit, this couldn’t come on a worse day. What with the stress of Tess’s panic attack and hearing the Red Wolverine wasn’t happy, I didn’t have time to be f**king sick.
Katya said something and the entire table turned to stare at me.
I couldn’t move my tongue to make a proper sentence. Merde, I never got this bad so fast. It normally crept over me, stealing a little of my senses, giving me time to get the hell out of there and hide my one bodily weakness.
“Mercer. You all right?” Frederick patted my hand. My eyes shot to his, but I had to squint against the pain of bringing him into focus.
I can’t do this.
The only way to break it was a dark room, and Tess’s heavenly fingers to massage away the agony.
Tess.
All I wanted to do was be with her. I needed her. She’d help cure me—just like she cured me of everything else.
The beast inside whimpered, agreeing that in this circumstance, it didn’t want to hurt her. It wanted her to be gentle and nurse me.
Shaking my head, I swallowed back the rush of nausea and stood. Forcing myself to act cool and fully in control, I said, “It sounds as if you’re more than under control here. If you’ll excuse me, I have other business to attend to.”
Frederick frowned, but nodded. “No problem. I’ll keep you up to speed with what we decide on the Hong Kong and London development.”
I nodded approval, which sent the world suffering a bout of turbulence. I hated when it got this bad. I hated being so weak.
Keeping my lips tightly together, just in case my morning coffee decided to make a reappearance, I strode firmly out of the room.
The second the door closed behind me, I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. It felt as if no oxygen existed inside this goddamn building. I fumbled with my collar, trying to undo the top button.
The door clicked open, and I spun painfully to face whoever it was.
Frederick watched me with concern. “Another one? That’s one a month for a while now, man. You promised you’d go to the doctor.”
I didn’t have the strength to tell him I did go to the doctor. And for me to admit I had a problem was a big f**king deal. But on paper there was nothing wrong with me.
The headaches were stress related, apparently.
In my painful haze, I mumbled something incoherent and headed on the marathon journey to get back to my private office.
Don’t think. Just get to Tess.
Frederick followed me to the elevator, and I swiped my identification to activate my private lift. It was the only elevator that went to the roof. I didn’t want anyone else going up there without my permission.
The whir of the arriving machine cut off as the metal doors swung open. Frederick’s arm stuck out, barring my way.
Fiery hot shards poked my brain, stealing my colour vision, making him look as if he dripped with sienna and taupe. “Get out of my way, Roux.”
He lifted his arm and let me enter, but jumped in a millisecond later. He eyed me, prodding me in the temple with a finger.
I winced and swung at him, but my perception was way off; I punched the mirrored wall instead.
“Yep, you’re having a full attack, man. Not good.”
Agony flared in my knuckles and I growled, nursing my hand. “Thanks for the advice. You going to charge me for that?”
He smiled. “Nope. That’s on the house.” He pressed the top button and we rode in silence before he said, “Don’t bother wasting your breath telling me to f**k off. I’ll stay until you’ve had some painkillers and that woman of yours has got you on the couch and resting.”
I didn’t want to argue with that. It sounded f**king perfect. But I hated being told what to do. The last time I obeyed anyone I was eight and let my father kill a slave for sneaking out to find food for her starving bed mates.
Fuck that shit. I never wanted to take orders again.
Frederick snuck glances at me, but I ignored him, focusing on curling my fists so hard my fingers threatened to break. The chance of a fracture prevented the fog of pain from devouring me completely.
I stepped back a little and skidded on a puddle of water. I figured my brain was playing tricks on me. I discounted it, but then froze. I could smell it.
Frost.
Orchids.
Tess.
My body locked down as panic charged through my limbs. Why the hell had she been in the lift? And without me? She wouldn’t be able to get back without my keycard.
Frederick raised an eyebrow, noticing my trembling muscles. “What the hell, Q?” He came forward but slipped, too.
His eyes shot to the floor, reaching out to grab the side rail to avoid slamming to the floor. “Huh. That’s strange. There shouldn’t be a leak in here.”
My instincts roared to life—trying to tell me something—something I should’ve noticed the second I entered the lift.
The beast inside sniffed and howled. Something was seriously f**king wrong.
The conclusion kept darting out of reach. I slapped myself in the head, trying to get my brain into some sense of working order. The migraine curled around my neurons, making me dumb as a piece of concrete.
I inhaled deep, trying to calm my crazy pulse. The scent of Tess swam in my pounding head, making my heart thud and c**k twitch.
And that’s when it f**king hit me.
My entire body felt as if knives dragged along my skin, flaying me alive. The world screeched to a halt.
“Shit.” Tess!
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Frederick asked, eyes flying around the lift, looking for some unseen threat.
The rush of panic shoved the migraine away as it darted down my spine. Rage followed hot behind, filling me like a cannon. They f**king dared touch her! My body coiled with the need to attack, to turn animalistic and rip apart anyone who touched my woman.
I sniffed again, dragging the horrible stench of cigarettes and grease into my lungs.
Must and body odour.
Men.
Something malicious wrapped around my stomach, dragging images of every bastard I’d dealt with in the trafficking industry. I didn’t understand how I recognised the stench, but I knew.
Evil had been in this lift. With Tess.
I needed out of this metal box that travelled way far too slow. I needed to scale the building like King Kong and smash every last ass**le into pulp.
Snarling, I punched the mirrored wall so hard it shattered. Cracks radiated from my fist, splintering into tiny pieces and tinkling to the floor.
“Mercer, wh—”
The elevator doors opened, and I bolted.
I slammed my shoulder into the metal door and gulped in a breath as I stumbled and fell to my knee. The sun was a dagger, a f**king bazooka to my head with its brightness. My vision turned completely white as I battled to stay lucid.
Gritting my teeth, I forced my body to obey and half-lumbered, half-ran across the minefield of sunlight. Birds took wing, squawking at my interruption.
With my heart in my throat, I exploded into my office.
“Mercer! Tell me what the hell is going on! You’re f**king scaring me.” Frederick chased after me. I didn’t waste my breath answering. I couldn’t afford to waste any part of my rapidly failing body.
I had to know Tess was here. Safe. Protected.
It’s all in my mind. It’s a horrid daydream. My brain is playing tricks. It’s not real.
But the stench was worse here, the carpet wet with large puddles. Shit.
The energy of the office wasn’t tranquil anymore, it was tainted. Brittle and tense, it lurked with a nasty undercurrent: something black and hellishly cold—evil and putrid.
The migraine throbbed around my skull, squeezing my thoughts in a never-ending vice. I sensed death and unhappiness. Tess’s strength and pureness were nowhere to be found. Some chasm that had been full before was now empty and dark.
Don’t be such a f**king drama queen.
I stomped on the fear, crushing it. The stink of cigarettes permeated the lounge, guiding me down the corridor and into the spare bedroom.
I followed the reek, but retraced my steps to unlock my HK P2000 pistol from the sideboard. Frederick skidded into the office, gawking around like a maniac. Considering he was supposed to be the calm one of our duo, he looked wired and ready to kill.
“Do you think I should take that?” He eyed the gun in my unsteady hand. My vision wavered in and out. One moment full colour, the next black and white. He had a point, but screw my head. Screw my shitty eyesight. I was in charge of Tess’s safety; I’d use the f**king gun.
Ignoring him, I crouched and moved silently down the corridor. I’d never been so thankful for being deathly silent on my feet before.
The urge to shoot some f**ktard who dared breach my space and take what was mine consumed me. The beast inside roared and raged, ready to go nuclear with fury.
I swung my arm wide, finger pressing the trigger as I entered the bedroom.
Nothing.
The bed was untouched, the room perfect as I left it.
Frederick fell back, keeping close to me with his legs bent, ready to fight at a moment’s notice. If I had to have anyone at my back, it was him. He looked like a pu**y, but he fought with the best of them.
Frederick was my wingman, my confidant, and ally, but he didn’t have the same blackness in his soul, or the blurred lines of right and wrong.
“Tess, où es tu?” Where are you? I whisper-growled, inching into the walk-in wardrobe.
A single empty hanger lay on the floor.
My heart exploded through my ribs; my headache stole my vision, leaving me completely blind for a second.
I grabbed hold of the shelf holding my shoes, trying to stabilize myself and bring my heart rate into submission.