Oh God.
She turned her head and looked right at me.
“He was gone. We tried, Rache and me to… well, he shut us down. He would smile, pretend to be himself, but he wasn’t. A mother knows. A sister knows. He wasn’t our Raid.”
“I know,” I replied softly.
“He’s back,” she declared, and my heart skipped.
“I—”
Her hand shot across the table and closed around mine so hard it caused pain.
“He talks to you.” It wasn’t a statement but a question.
I couldn’t tell her how he did, but he didn’t.
I just said, “Yes, Mrs. Miller. He talks to me.”
“Ruthie, honey, told you to call me Ruthie.”
She did so I nodded again.
Her hand tightened further around mine and I fought back a wince.
“You’ll find out, I pray to God, you’ll find out that a mother has many nightmares. I know that sounds funny, but don’t get me wrong. You’re happy to live with them, because to be a mother, you get to create these tiny little living, breathing dreams that grow up to be splendid things. But for a woman with a son, that’s the worst. When he’s gone. What he’s doing. You pray so much he comes back safe, you forget to pray to God to keep him safe from all the ways he could be damaged. My son was damaged.”
Her hand lifted mine an inch off the table and her eyes got bright.
Mine did too.
“Thank you for fixing him,” she whispered.
I held her hand tight right back, leaned in and said gently, but honestly, “My work isn’t done, Ruthie.”
“I’m sure. But I have faith in you.”
Oh God.
I swallowed back the tears.
“I’ll do my best,” I promised.
“You already are.”
Seriously. This was beautiful, but I could take no more.
“You know,” I blurted, “Grams would lose it if she saw me, a Boudreaux, crying in the local café.”
“Then pull yourself together, bitch,” Rachelle, there with my wine and setting it on the table, declared. “Suck that back.” She advised and turned to her mother. “Mom, Raid walks in here and sees you all mushy with his woman, he’s gonna lose his mind. Suck it up.”
Then she flounced away.
Ruthie looked at me, her mouth twitching. “She’s not wrong.”
“You made him so I’m sure you know this a lot better than me, but he can have his macho man fit. It’ll blow over, and through it we just do our own thing.”
Her eyes lit, her hand let mine go and she replied, “Now I’m seeing how you can wring miracles.”
“I give all the credit to Grams and KC. Grams is wise and says it straight. KC lives with an alpha and also says it straight. They’re my gurus,” I shared.
“If you need another guru, you know where to find me, and do not take that as me asking you to share with me where my son is at. If he wants me to know that, he’ll tell me. You’re not on the hot seat. Just that I know Raid pretty well and I’m happy to do my bit.”
I smiled at her.
She smiled back then shouted, “Rache! I’m off!”
“I’ll call Gazz and warn him you’re on the emotional warpath and he’s up next on your agenda,” Rachelle shouted back.
Ruthie had stood through this and she smiled down at me. “Again, she’s not wrong.”
I giggled.
She reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear.
That was familiar, coming from a Miller.
And sweet.
I stopped giggling.
“Later, Hanna.”
“Have a good night with Gazz, Ruthie.”
She winked at me and took off.
I sipped wine, looked out the window and dragged in a deep breath to pull myself together.
I sort of accomplished this feat when I felt a presence join me at the table. I jumped in surprise, but turned my head smiling, thinking I’d see Raiden.
It wasn’t Raiden.
It was a good-looking, well-dressed man staring at me with eyes that were almost as amazing as Raid’s.
Thinking he was going to come onto me, I told him, “Sorry, I’m waiting for someone.”
“Yes. And when he gets here, I’m asking you to give Miller a message to give to Knight.”
My back went straight, my skin started tingling (and not in a good way) and I stared.
He didn’t hesitate.
“Tell him to tell Knight that he’s being careful, but not careful enough. Tell him that Nair is not going to give up. Tell him he’s going to have to do something in a permanent way to shut Nair down. Do you have that?”
My eyes narrowed even as my hand shifted back toward my cell in my pocket. “Who are you?”
“I’m Nick. Miller will get me. Knight will definitely get me. And you, don’t worry. Nair is not focused on Miller. He doesn’t even know who Miller is. He’s not focused on anybody but Knight. Nair has no clue you exist and doesn’t give a f**k. But I needed a way in. You were it.”
“If you have something to say to—” I began.
“If you want me to lead them to your man, then yeah, I’ll talk direct to him. If you want them to keep their focus on my brother, then you’ll tell Miller everything I said.”
Before I could reply, he was up and gone.
I blinked after him.
Then I looked around and saw the half-full café, most everyone concentrating on their food or conversation. Rachelle was nowhere to be seen, probably in the kitchen.
I wondered if anyone saw him, but they didn’t appear to. No one was paying attention.
I pulled out my phone and had my head down, fingers moving on it to call Raid when the bell over the door went.
I jumped and looked up to see Raiden smiling at me and coming my way.
He rounded the table, bent into me, swept my hair back and kissed my neck. Then he stayed there to run his nose up the skin, which made that skin tingle, but in a good way this time.
He continued to stay there when he whispered in my ear, “Love it when my girl’s perfume is fresh. Hey, baby.”
“Hey,” I replied.
His hand went out of my hair and he rounded the table, shouting, “Rache! Beer and get a move on with two specials. Hanna and I are running late!”
“Keep your pants on!” was shouted from the kitchen.
“Lose some coin if you don’t hustle. We can get a slice from down the street!” Raid yelled.
“Two specials coming up!” was returned.
Luckily, Rachelle owned the café, so the Millers acting like, well, what I was coming to know as the Millers worked it.
She turned her head and looked right at me.
“He was gone. We tried, Rache and me to… well, he shut us down. He would smile, pretend to be himself, but he wasn’t. A mother knows. A sister knows. He wasn’t our Raid.”
“I know,” I replied softly.
“He’s back,” she declared, and my heart skipped.
“I—”
Her hand shot across the table and closed around mine so hard it caused pain.
“He talks to you.” It wasn’t a statement but a question.
I couldn’t tell her how he did, but he didn’t.
I just said, “Yes, Mrs. Miller. He talks to me.”
“Ruthie, honey, told you to call me Ruthie.”
She did so I nodded again.
Her hand tightened further around mine and I fought back a wince.
“You’ll find out, I pray to God, you’ll find out that a mother has many nightmares. I know that sounds funny, but don’t get me wrong. You’re happy to live with them, because to be a mother, you get to create these tiny little living, breathing dreams that grow up to be splendid things. But for a woman with a son, that’s the worst. When he’s gone. What he’s doing. You pray so much he comes back safe, you forget to pray to God to keep him safe from all the ways he could be damaged. My son was damaged.”
Her hand lifted mine an inch off the table and her eyes got bright.
Mine did too.
“Thank you for fixing him,” she whispered.
I held her hand tight right back, leaned in and said gently, but honestly, “My work isn’t done, Ruthie.”
“I’m sure. But I have faith in you.”
Oh God.
I swallowed back the tears.
“I’ll do my best,” I promised.
“You already are.”
Seriously. This was beautiful, but I could take no more.
“You know,” I blurted, “Grams would lose it if she saw me, a Boudreaux, crying in the local café.”
“Then pull yourself together, bitch,” Rachelle, there with my wine and setting it on the table, declared. “Suck that back.” She advised and turned to her mother. “Mom, Raid walks in here and sees you all mushy with his woman, he’s gonna lose his mind. Suck it up.”
Then she flounced away.
Ruthie looked at me, her mouth twitching. “She’s not wrong.”
“You made him so I’m sure you know this a lot better than me, but he can have his macho man fit. It’ll blow over, and through it we just do our own thing.”
Her eyes lit, her hand let mine go and she replied, “Now I’m seeing how you can wring miracles.”
“I give all the credit to Grams and KC. Grams is wise and says it straight. KC lives with an alpha and also says it straight. They’re my gurus,” I shared.
“If you need another guru, you know where to find me, and do not take that as me asking you to share with me where my son is at. If he wants me to know that, he’ll tell me. You’re not on the hot seat. Just that I know Raid pretty well and I’m happy to do my bit.”
I smiled at her.
She smiled back then shouted, “Rache! I’m off!”
“I’ll call Gazz and warn him you’re on the emotional warpath and he’s up next on your agenda,” Rachelle shouted back.
Ruthie had stood through this and she smiled down at me. “Again, she’s not wrong.”
I giggled.
She reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear.
That was familiar, coming from a Miller.
And sweet.
I stopped giggling.
“Later, Hanna.”
“Have a good night with Gazz, Ruthie.”
She winked at me and took off.
I sipped wine, looked out the window and dragged in a deep breath to pull myself together.
I sort of accomplished this feat when I felt a presence join me at the table. I jumped in surprise, but turned my head smiling, thinking I’d see Raiden.
It wasn’t Raiden.
It was a good-looking, well-dressed man staring at me with eyes that were almost as amazing as Raid’s.
Thinking he was going to come onto me, I told him, “Sorry, I’m waiting for someone.”
“Yes. And when he gets here, I’m asking you to give Miller a message to give to Knight.”
My back went straight, my skin started tingling (and not in a good way) and I stared.
He didn’t hesitate.
“Tell him to tell Knight that he’s being careful, but not careful enough. Tell him that Nair is not going to give up. Tell him he’s going to have to do something in a permanent way to shut Nair down. Do you have that?”
My eyes narrowed even as my hand shifted back toward my cell in my pocket. “Who are you?”
“I’m Nick. Miller will get me. Knight will definitely get me. And you, don’t worry. Nair is not focused on Miller. He doesn’t even know who Miller is. He’s not focused on anybody but Knight. Nair has no clue you exist and doesn’t give a f**k. But I needed a way in. You were it.”
“If you have something to say to—” I began.
“If you want me to lead them to your man, then yeah, I’ll talk direct to him. If you want them to keep their focus on my brother, then you’ll tell Miller everything I said.”
Before I could reply, he was up and gone.
I blinked after him.
Then I looked around and saw the half-full café, most everyone concentrating on their food or conversation. Rachelle was nowhere to be seen, probably in the kitchen.
I wondered if anyone saw him, but they didn’t appear to. No one was paying attention.
I pulled out my phone and had my head down, fingers moving on it to call Raid when the bell over the door went.
I jumped and looked up to see Raiden smiling at me and coming my way.
He rounded the table, bent into me, swept my hair back and kissed my neck. Then he stayed there to run his nose up the skin, which made that skin tingle, but in a good way this time.
He continued to stay there when he whispered in my ear, “Love it when my girl’s perfume is fresh. Hey, baby.”
“Hey,” I replied.
His hand went out of my hair and he rounded the table, shouting, “Rache! Beer and get a move on with two specials. Hanna and I are running late!”
“Keep your pants on!” was shouted from the kitchen.
“Lose some coin if you don’t hustle. We can get a slice from down the street!” Raid yelled.
“Two specials coming up!” was returned.
Luckily, Rachelle owned the café, so the Millers acting like, well, what I was coming to know as the Millers worked it.
