His mouth twitched with suppressed amusement as he reached for the towel hanging on the wall. He’d shaved and looked less rogue warrior and more GQ cover model. She loved both looks on him.
“Wait.” She stepped closer, licking her lower lip.
Jack’s eyes filled with a heat that made her flush. His arm dropped back to his side. “I’m all yours.”
JACK held his position despite the seemingly endless insurgence.
As if Rachel sensed his wariness, she’d brought him a beer earlier, hiding it from the multitude of underage eyes with an insulated bottle cozy. He didn’t touch it, knowing from experience that it was best to stay razor sharp when surrounded by unknowns.
From the safety of the grill, he eyed the dozen or so eight-year-olds running around the patio of Rachel’s small two-story condominium. It was a madhouse, but he didn’t feel as out of place as he’d expected he would. That was certainly because of Rachel, who smiled at him often and made a point of including him.
“Jack.”
He turned his head and smiled down at Riley, who looked so much like his dad. Riley had the same smiling sloe eyes and cheerful grin, the same quick laugh and desire to help others. “Hey, sport. Having fun?”
“Totally. I have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“My Aunt Stella says you like my mom.”
He glanced at the picnic table, where most of the Tse family was gathered. “I do.”
“Like her like a girlfriend. You know, kissing and stuff.”
“Oh?” Jack focused on the burgers and hot dogs grilling in front of him.
“She says guys only pay attention to what kind of coffee creamer a girl likes when she’s his girlfriend.”
Not knowing how to reply, Jack just nodded slowly and shot another glance at Rachel. She was talking about him to the Tses. He hoped that was working in his favor.
“So it’s true?” Riley pressed. “Is my mom your girlfriend?”
“Uh . . .” Jack blew out his breath. “How would you feel about that? Is that bugging you?”
“No. Will you be coming around more? I think you should come around more.”
“I’m going to be working on that. I’d like to spend more time with you. There are some things your dad and I used to do together—fishing, golfing, taking some Sea-Doos out to Havasu . . . I think you’ll enjoy those same things.”
“Sea-Doos?” Riley’s dark eyes lit up. “Really? That would be so cool!”
“We’ll have to make plans, then.”
Riley ran off, shouting at his friends, but skid to a halt a few feet away and came back. “Watch out for Aunt Stella,” he said in a stage whisper. “She says if mom doesn’t snatch you up, she will. She’s cool, but . . . well . . .”
“Got it.” Jack somehow managed to keep his face impassive. “Thanks for the tip.”
Watching his godson run off, Jack rocked back on his heels and felt hopeful. If the Tses were endorsing him, he had a chance in hell. He’d take it.
His cell phone rang and his light mood sank like a stone. Pulling it out of his pocket, he answered, “Killigrew.”
“Hey, Jack.” Gary Lancet’s grim voice was like a cold shower. “I’m sorry to interrupt you on leave, but I figured you’d kick my ass if you found out after you got back.”
Jack set down the tongs he’d been using to turn the hot dogs. “What is it?”
“One of Terry’s old collars went to his house. Fucked the place up and killed his dog. Callie’s a mess.”
“Jesus. Are she and the kids okay?”
“Yeah, they’re shaken up but fine. It’s a miracle they weren’t home at the time. Her damn radiator hose took a shit on the way back from picking them up from school. Otherwise . . . Well, it could have been a lot worse.”
Looking at Rachel and the festive scene around him, Jack finally felt the sensation of being the odd man out. He should have felt it earlier. His life, such as it was, didn’t fit here. He’d forgotten that for a while. The grisly reminder was a timely one. He hadn’t yet laid his heart on the line; retracting it would have been a lot harder than just bailing early. “Am I needed?”
“We’ve got it covered. I just knew you’d want to know.”
“Absolutely. Tell Terry to call me if he needs anything. I still have some things to wrap up here, but nothing that can’t wait.”
“I’ll keep you posted.”
Jack hung up and stared at the phone for a long minute. Just imagining what Terry must be going through made his gut knot. Thinking about a close call like that happening to Rachel and Riley about doubled him over. Sweat beaded his forehead despite the coolness of the northern California weather. He rubbed at the tightness in the center of his chest. “Shit.”
Rachel’s voice came from behind him. “Is everything all right?”
He turned, grateful for the sunglasses shielding his eyes. “Something’s gone down back home.”
“Oh.” She bit her lower lip. “Do you have to go?”
Facing her disappointment only strengthened his resolve to stop being selfish. He had to think of her first. “Not yet.”
Her chin lifted. “I’d understand if you had to go. Riley would, too.”
“You shouldn’t have to understand.”
One of her brows arched. “Really? Says who?”
“Let’s not do this now.”
“Later, then. Right after this is over.”
It was already over. Not that it ever really had a chance to begin.
RACHEL picked up the last bit of torn wrapping paper that had blown beneath the patio table and straightened. Her house was almost back to normal . . . except for the brooding deputy attacking her gas grill with a steel brush.
Jack had grown strangely quiet since taking that phone call a couple hours before. He managed smiles for Riley, who’d loved every one of the too-many gifts Jack had given him. Gifts that were craft sets or science projects or models. Things that were taught or built. Rachel took note of the fact that a man who worked with death and destruction was fostering a love of discovery and creation in her son. But Jack was unable to muster even a ghost of a smile for her. Instead, when their gazes met, he looked . . . ravaged.
She shoved the trash in the garbage bag beside her and yanked on the handles to seal it. Then she approached Jack, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his lean waist. Even though he’d seen her coming, he tensed when her arms encircled him. She was grateful her mother-in-law and Stella had taken Riley to Target to spend his gift cards. It gave her the chance to get things straightened out with Jack.
She slid her hands beneath the hem of his shirt and caressed his washboard abs. “Stella tells me I need to keep you around and exploit your mad grilling skills.”
He set one hand over hers, stilling her movements. “Flipping burgers isn’t enough to fix my faults.”
“Oh my God, you have faults? What a relief! I was beginning to think you were perfect.”
Jack set the brush down and turned carefully to face her. “Rachel.”
She pushed up his sunglasses to reveal his eyes. They were completely shuttered. “What was the phone call about?”
“Nothing you should have to worry over.”
“Bullshit. Whatever was said to you has you pulling back. Since I’m the one you’re pulling back from, I deserve to know why.”
Exhaling harshly, he pulled off his sunglasses and hung them from the collar of his T-shirt. “One of the guys on the team had a scare today.”
Rachel listened to his voice as he told her what happened. It was tight and clipped, his jaw taut. Someone he cared about—one of the very few—was hurting now and that was hurting Jack.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Her fingers stroked soothingly across his nape. “The good, the bad, and the ugly. It helps to get it out.”
“I don’t want you involved in stuff like this.”
“I’m already involved.”
“You don’t need this crap in your life,” he said harshly. “Riley doesn’t need it.”
“We need you,” she retorted, “and you and the job are a package deal.”
“You’ve got me.” His dark gaze was stormy. “I’ll always be here for you, just as I’ve always been. We just need to keep things simple.”
That was ridiculous. What they had was totally complicated. He was complicated, and he was used to keeping his circle of friends small and tight. Letting her in probably scared the shit out of him on a level he didn’t even recognize. Because then he could lose her, one way or the other.
He was going to figure out, real quick, that she had absolutely no intention of getting lost.
seven
“Simple, huh?” Rachel backed away from him and headed into the house. She needed a beer. Maybe two. “As simple as living in the same town?”
Jack followed her. “As simple as keeping things the way they have been until last night.”
She wondered if he heard how gruff he sounded, how defensive.
Reaching the fridge, she pulled out two beers and set one down in front of him. They faced each other across her kitchen counter with equally wary and examining glances.
“You don’t get to make that decision by yourself, Jack.” She twisted off the top of her beer and took a swig.
His gaze narrowed. He had his game face on, dangerous and inscrutable. “I’ll make the decision if it keeps you safe.”
“I think the person you’re trying to save is yourself.” She pointed at him with the neck of her bottle. “I scare you.”
“Thinking of something happening to you scares me.” He opened his beer and drank, watching her as he swallowed.
“So, you ride off into the sunset, and I’m here safe and sound . . . until I get carjacked at the gas station. Or robbed at the store.”
