Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six
Chapter Four

 Gerry Bartlett

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"You're kidding me. She took a hike? How long ago was this?" I ran toward the door, Rafe right beside me. My fault. I'd let myself get distracted and hadn't kept an eye on her. Even going to the ladies' room had the potential to be dangerous. I should have warned Trey . . . Hindsight. Which wasn't worth my time.
"What's the problem, Glory?" Rafe stopped me with his hand on my shoulder.
"She has a twin sister. Hasn't told her yet and thinks the thing to do is to turn her." I glanced at a couple of mortals who were just leaving the club. "You know what I mean."
"She's just five minutes ahead of you. Maybe I can track her for you." Trey frowned. "I'm sorry. You should have told me you didn't want her to leave without you. I would have stopped her."
"No, it wasn't your job to ride herd on her, Trey." I sighed. "I need her sister's address. That's where I'll find her. At this time of night, Jenny will probably be asleep and Penny will have to wake her up to tell her. What a shock that will be." I turned to Rafe. "Can we use the computer in your office?"
"Sure, let's go." Rafe turned to Trey. "You're off the hook. But if you want to help, stay for closing because I'm going with Glory. Nadia's off tonight so it's on you." He tossed Trey a large key ring.
"Wow. Thanks, boss. I'll do it right. I promise." Trey's eyes gleamed like this was a big deal. And it probably was with bar receipts and all the other responsibilities that go with closing a club of this size.
I glanced at Rafe. As usual it was Rafe to the rescue. His partner, Nadia, hated that he did these kinds of things for me. I started to say something but he was already in his office in front of his laptop.
"Her name?"
"Jennifer Patterson, student at the university."
"She's staying in her sorority house. Does that sound right?"
"Yes, that's her."
"Okay, got it. I know where this is. Let's go." He jumped up and I was on his heels as we headed outside and around back.
We shifted into birds and in minutes were behind a large white house that was dark except for a light in one downstairs room. Penny stood outside the back door, her shoulders slumped. I nodded at Rafe and shifted by myself, landing next to my fledgling.
"Going somewhere?" I dropped my hand onto her shoulder. She turned to look at me, tears running down her face. "No. I can't do it." She leaned against me and I put my arm around her. "What the hell am I doing here at almost two in the morning on a Monday night?"
I led her away from the house before we woke up someone. Rafe had shifted and stood waiting for us on the sidewalk.
"You're a night creature now, Penny. This is prime time for you." I squeezed her shoulders. "I'm sorry, I know this is a rough thing to face." I looked at Rafe.
He pulled out a cell phone and made a call. "Come on, Penny, Glory and I'll show you how beautiful this time of night can be."
Penny looked at him, her face wet. "Beautiful? Nothing looks beautiful to me. Don't you get it? I've lost everything I ever cared about. My family, my career, you name it, I can't do it anymore." She pulled away from me. "You can't distract me with some freaky trick."
"Freaky trick?" Rafe glanced at me. "Let me clue you in, little girl. Those freaky tricks can save your immortal life. Am I right, Glory?"
"Yes. Took me long enough, but I learned that lesson." I shook my head. "I know you're angry and frustrated, Penny. But you haven't lost your career or your family. Not yet, anyway. We'll figure out a way for you to stay in touch with them."
"Sure you will. Until it's obvious that I'm not aging and they are. Then what am I supposed to do? Just disappear? How would that make them feel?" Penny looked around, wild-eyed, like she wanted to scream or maybe hit somebody.
"We need to move out. Here comes our ride." Rafe nodded as a black SUV pulled up. A shifter got out, left the motor running, then walked away with a nod. "Let's go."
"Where are you taking me?" Penny dug in her heels when I pulled her toward the car.
"What difference does it make?" I wasn't about to let her get away from me again. "Get in the freakin' car, Penny." A light had come on in an upstairs room in the house. "Now." I shoved her into the backseat, hopped in the front passenger side, and Rafe hit the gas pedal. We were out of there just as the back porch light came on.
Penny looked back. "Guess they heard the noise. Damn it, I can't do anything right."
"Spare us the pity party." Rafe drove and I didn't bother to ask where we were going. "Glory, I hope the council is paying you for this mentoring responsibility."
"They should. I'll check with Damian." I smiled back at Penny. "Come on, vamp girl, lighten up. You're going to have to learn to deal with your new reality and there are some cool perks. Trust me on that."
"Yeah, right. Trust you. Like vampires are so trustworthy. I'm the undead proof of that." Penny kept staring back toward the sorority house.
I decided to let that one go. She needed time. I got that.
Penny finally turned around to frown at me. "So far this 'new reality' sucks and I don't understand half of it. I was offered a teaching assistant's job for the fall. Forget that now. Not unless they gave me all night classes." She slumped in her seat.
"Sounds like a drag. Grading papers, trying to make bored college kids pay attention to someone younger than they are." I reached back to pat her hand. "You dodged a bullet."
"I wasn't seriously considering it." She shrugged. "I prefer research. And grant work can be done anytime, anywhere. I have a few irons in the fire." Her mouth trembled. "But that doesn't mean I didn't want to have the choice."
"Quit whining." Rafe was obviously all for tough love as he pulled into a deserted area on top of a hill.
I recognized the place. He'd gone ballistic here once when I'd let him know our relationship was going back to being friends without benefits. There was still a charred stump as evidence. Hmm. I gave him an inquiring look but all I got back was a bland smile.
"So what are we doing here?" Penny finally sat up straight and looked out the window.
"I'm going to teach you to shape-shift." Rafe opened his car door. "I had to work with Glory to get her comfortable with it, so I figured I'd help with this part of your education. What do you say, Glory?"
"Sure, go for it. You need to learn this, Penny." I got out of the car and waited while Penny climbed out.
"You're serious. You're really going to make me turn into something else. What? A bat?" She looked down at her green blouse. "Will we have to strip off? No way, no how. I'm not comfortable with that."
I laughed. "Luckily, we can do it wearing what we have on, even down to our shoes. Believe me, if I had to go skinny shifting, I'd never have made it a habit."
Rafe winked at me. "Not saying it isn't more comfortable that way, though. And fun if you're doing it with the right person."
"Okay, Rafe, let's just get on with it." I turned to Penny. "Shifting is good for defense. It can help you escape when you're in a tight spot."
Penny frowned. "What am I going to be defending myself from? I can take down a frat boy now with my handy-dandy new fangs." She gave us a demo with a snarl. "And I seem stronger too. I'm not one to go to a gym, but my punch had some power behind it tonight."
"You hit someone?" Rafe looked from Penny to me. "What's been going on?"
"I'll tell you later." I smiled at him. "Now, Penny, let's pretend you're surrounded and outnumbered by people brandishing stakes. We can be killed with a wooden stake to the heart. That part of the vamp mythology is true."
"Gross." Penny looked around, searching the shadows. "You mean there are people out there who know vampires exist and hunt them?"
"A few. Luckily most of society doesn't believe them. Writes vamp hunters off as crazy." Rafe smiled. "Or considers the stories about you guys pure fiction."
"Obviously it's not." Penny sighed. "This is almost too much to take in."
"You can handle it." I patted her shoulder. "You have to. Now back to defense." I stepped back and looked around, pretending I was surrounded. "Vamp hunters everywhere, but they're mere mortals. Too many to fight, but you can escape. What do you do?"
"Shape-shift?" Penny looked interested. "But forget flying. Not my thing."
"Why not? You need to move in a hurry. Flying is a good way to escape and I prefer doing it as a bird. Though you can become a bat if you don't mind being a cliche." I studied the sky. It was a clear night with a sliver of a moon. "This is a perfect night to practice. No wind."
"I told you. Forget flying. Can't I shift into other animals and just scare the hell out of them? How about a panther?" Penny also glanced at the sky, but not appreciatively.
"You can shift into whatever you want, but what's wrong with flying?" I got close to her. "You afraid of heights?"
"I'm acrophobic, okay? Deal with it." Penny's chin lifted. "I don't do airplanes or roofs and I'm sure not going to do, uh, birds or bats. Trust me, if I hadn't been scared, I'd have jumped out of my bedroom window earlier tonight and gone to see Jenny then. I actually opened it and tried to take the leap, then chickened out."
"Give me a break." It had never occurred to me that she might have gone out her window.
"You give me one. No flying." Penny had a mulish look and I figured arguing was futile.
"Now that's a problem." I glanced at Rafe. "Got to be honest with you. Once I got past my own reluctance, flying out of trouble saved my butt a time or two."
"She's right, Penny." Rafe and I exchanged looks full of memories. "Something like a panther might scare away a predator, but it's also a pretty big target. You could try sneaking away. Become something tiny. Like an ant or cockroach." He frowned. "Of course you can get stomped or kicked. Right, Glory?"
I shuddered; Penny too. "Ancient history, Rafe." I'd done the roach thing and had an unhappy ending. Literally.
"I'd much rather work the fear factor." Penny had obviously been thinking this over. "Panther, lion, cheetah. Obviously I'm partial to cats."
"That could work. But a hunter will just pull out a conventional weapon and shoot you. You could be wounded, which would slow you down." Rafe was solemn, all business. "Honestly, you need to try to get over this height thing. Now that you're a vampire, your perspective might have changed. Go for the bird, Penny. At least once. Are you game?"
Penny sighed, her shoulders tense. "Okay, I'll try. But no guarantees."
"That's a given." I smiled encouragingly. "Now pick a kind of bird and get it in mind."
"Fine. I've always liked bluebirds. Like that bluebird of happiness that dumped on my head a few nights ago." Her smile was wry. "Now what?"
"Now you visualize that bluebird. I mean, really see it in your mind and imagine becoming the bird from the claws up to the beak. Then flap your wings and fly up to a branch in that tree over there. Rafe and I will meet you. We'll still be able to talk to each other in our minds." I watched Penny. She closed her eyes, her forehead wrinkling as she concentrated, her fists clenched. Nothing happened. Finally she opened her eyes.
"What's wrong? Why am I still a person?" She looked down and stomped her foot.
"I think you're trying too hard and worrying too much about the flying." I smiled, totally sympathizing with her. I'd freaked out when I'd first tried to shift, sure I'd be stuck forever as a bird or a bat. Not that I was sharing that concern with her. "Take a few breaths, relax and picture yourself that beautiful blue. Feel your feathers, the air under your wings. Now close your eyes and let yourself transform."
Rafe gave me an elbow. "Can't believe you're actually pretty good at this. I thought I was going to be the one giving the lessons."
"I'm just telling her what you told me to help get me over my own phobia." I grinned when I saw Penny suddenly change. She looked down at her feet, now claws, then up again.
"Am I . . . ?"
"Yes, you're a beautiful bluebird. Now flap your wings and see if you can fly." I did my thing, becoming a mockingbird and Rafe became a blackbird. We did a few laps around the hilltop before we settled on a branch near the top of a tree to watch.
"Come on up!" I was talking in my mind now. We all were.
"I - I can't." Penny sounded panicked. "Get me the hell out of here!" She looked up at me, then hopped a few steps. I flew down to land beside her.
"Calm down. Take it easy. Hey, you did shift. Great first step. But if you could just flap your wings and come up a foot or two, I know you'd like it. It's really amazing to fly." I took off and soared above her.
"Says you." She sat in the dirt. "I'm not flapping anything. How do I get back to me?" Her voice was shaking and I could see panic about to set in.
I landed beside her again. "Okay, Penny. Just relax. Maybe we tried this too soon."
She stabbed me with her beak. "Get me back to myself. Now!" Her bird eyes were wild.
"Calm down and we will." Rafe flew down to her other side and his quiet voice finally seemed to penetrate her panic.
"I'm a failure." Bird tears dripped off Penny's beak. "Intellectually I should be able to overcome this ridiculous phobia. Talk myself out of it." She trembled, her feathers quivering. "But, but I can't." Big birdie boo hoos.
I wanted to reassure her because I'd been where she was now, but I still smarted from that stab with her beak. Hey, she'd drawn blood. I let Rafe handle her.
"No, you're not a failure." Rafe moved closer. "Glory's right. We did rush you. Now let's get you back to your human form. Imagine yourself Penny as usual. Don't overthink it, just picture feet, body, head. I'm right here, watching you." Rafe spoke gently, with an assurance that didn't allow for doubt. Then he took off. I bet he was remembering how I used to have meltdowns, positive I'd never look human again. He'd talked me through the whole thing.
I sat beside Penny, proud of her when she suddenly transformed without a hitch. I did the same, totally at ease with it now.
"Fantastic. You're a natural." I patted her shoulder, deciding not to mention the puncture wound on my arm that was already healing.
"Oh, my God! That was a total freak-out! I'm not turning into any more flying things, but now that I know I can get back, I can see shifting is definitely doable." Penny wiped tears off her cheeks. "What else can I be? What else have you been, Glory?"
"You can be just about any animal you're familiar with. Rafe was a Labradoodle for years. I tried my hand at being a golden retriever." I smiled. "You could be a cat too, a house cat. I'm sure your own pet would find that interesting."
"No kidding." Penny shook her head. "Don't think I'll go there."
"Isn't this just the coziest scene ever," a male voice said from the other side of the clearing.
"I'm getting teary just witnessing all the bonding going on." Another male voice.
Rafe and I stood in protective mode between the voices and Penny, when two men shimmered into view. One was tall and lean with long dark hair and an expensive black suit. His white shirt and gold tie were immaculate. The other man was a bit shorter but not by much. He was more casually dressed but you could tell he had an expensive tailor too. His trousers had an Italian look and his sport shirt was silk. He was dressed all in black, down to his leather loafers. But his hair was a golden blond. Both men were handsome enough to make Penny shove at me so she could get a better look.
"Well, well, I knew this was a demon's playground and here's the demon spawn himself with some of his playthings." Blond guy flicked his hand at the burned bush Rafe had taken out when I'd tried to dump him. Oops. Rafe had warned me that act might have stirred interest in him down below. So these guys must be ambassadors from hell. A slight breeze brought a whiff of sugar to me. I recognized it instantly. Demons put on the sweet smell along with a beautiful fa?ade when they came up to be around mortals.
"Glory?" Penny tapped me on the back.
"Hush. Rafe and I will handle this." I hoped and prayed we would anyway.
"Gloriana!" The dark one strode across the clearing, his hand outstretched. "I'd never have recognized you from Alesa's description. Though she was a bit rattled by her visit here, there is no excuse for missing the mark like she did. You are obviously a natural blond." His gray eyes swept over me, like he'd peeled the clothes right off to see down to my skin underneath. Rafe growled and stepped between us.
"You've gone far enough, Caryon." Rafe held up his hand. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Steady, demon child." Blond guy was at his cohort's side. "We're here on legitimate business. Some with you, some with the delicious Gloriana here." He smiled at me, suddenly around Rafe as if he didn't exist. "Alesa says hi."
"I'll bet she does." I didn't smile back. "I have no business with the likes of you. Go back where you came from." The sugary smell was so strong it was nauseating.
"Get away from her, Spyte." Rafe thrust an arm between us.
"Spite? Carrion? Are you kidding me? What is this? A bad comic strip?" Penny made the mistake of giggling.
"Oh, does the new vampire need a demo?" Caryon smiled, suddenly showing a mouthful of deadly looking fangs. His hunky fa?ade vanished and he was the stuff of nightmares, all scaly skin and snout. Beside him, Spyte chuckled when Penny clutched my skirt, then sank to the ground, whimpering.
"Quit it!" I don't know where my nerve came from, maybe from carrying around one of their evil sisters for weeks. "State your business and then go."
Caryon was back to his pretty-boy self. "Rafael, aren't you proud of your woman?"
Rafe glanced at me, sending me a mental message to be careful. "Of course I am. She's not afraid of your butt-ugly self or interested in your pretty one. Now what do you want? Come to collect a debt for Lucifer?" He glanced at the bush he'd burned with a look from his eyes when they'd gone red with fury that night. "For flaming that thing?"
"That will be collected at a date to be named later." Spyte laughed and brushed an insinuating hand down Rafe's black N-V T-shirt.
I grabbed Rafe before he could start something he'd regret, my stomach heaving at the idea of hell's payback. Then I looked around. "Penny! Where - "
"The little rat scurried away into the brush. She's cowering over there. Thinks we can't find her." Caryon smiled. "Don't worry, little girl, we're not interested in you tonight. Just your mentor."
"What do you want with me? And you will leave Penny the hell alone." I stayed shoulder to shoulder with Rafe, though I knew he wanted me behind him. Not happening.
"Oh, Alesa was so right." Spyte put his hand on Caryon's arm. "She does have a weakness. Glory, we are so glad to know that."
Rafe growled and surged toward them until he was suddenly turned to stone. It was a demon trick and I was surprised the two hadn't whipped it out sooner. Rafe was frozen in place, only his eyes moving. I knew they could have relaxed their hold enough to let him talk, but obviously I was the one they wanted to chat with this time. I felt chilled right down to my black boots.
"Weak? I don't think so. I handled Alesa and I can handle you two." I glared at them though I knew I hadn't exactly been a tower of strength when the female demon had taken up residence inside me. Still, she hadn't managed to turn me into one of her disciples of evil either. So I considered it a victory for the good guys. "You're wasting your time here. Go back to hell where you belong."
"No, not yet. Your weakness is so obvious." Spyte moved in a blur and returned the same way, a wiggling white rat in his hand. "For example, check out this cute little rodent. Look in her eyes. Recognize anyone?"
I hate rats, even the obviously pet kind, but I recognized the frantic golden brown eyes. Penny. She sent me hysterical mental messages as Spyte held her, first by the tail, then in his hand, alternately squeezing then petting her.
"Put her down!" I lunged toward him but he danced back. Caryon slipped his arm around my waist, anchoring me in a death grip that I couldn't escape.
"Ah, yes. Glory loves her little and not-so-little friends." Caryon glanced back at Rafe, whose eyes glowed red. "Some more than others, eh, Rafael?" His laugh was full of innuendo and I felt like he'd watched me in dirty videos. What had Alesa told these bastards? Oh, God. And what was Spyte going to do to Penny?
He dropped her in his pants pocket and grinned at me, letting me see his real teeth, sharp and horrifying.
"Morning snack, right, Car?"
"Chopped up in an omelet?" Caryon smacked his lips. "Garlic or cilantro?"
"Both. I saw the most wonderful recipe on this cooking show - "
"Stop it! What do you want?" I jerked against Caryon's hold, the reek of him this close making me gasp, like I'd been dropped in a vat of boiling sugar. I swallowed bile.
"We come with a proposition. From the big boss down below." Caryon frowned at me. "Don't you dare throw up on my new shoes. Italian leather, custom-made." He thrust me away from him. "Stay."
My feet stuck to the ground but at least I could inhale fresh air again. I saw Spyte's pants wiggling and he grimaced. Guess Penny had bitten him through the cloth. Good for her. But I sent her a mental message to be still. He could kill her with a hard smack against his thigh.
"What's the proposition?" I didn't want to hear it. Would never do anything for the Devil or Lucifer or whoever was calling the shots down there. But I'd play along for Penny's sake.
"Lucifer. Lucifer sent us." Spyte smiled. "You know we can read your thoughts, don't you? Your puny vampire mind blocks don't work on us so don't even try it."
"Whatever. Just spill it." I feigned a yawn. "Is there anything more boring than carrying on over a lost cause? Just release Rafe from that stupid freeze thing and let Penny go so she can shift back. She's new and now I'm afraid you've traumatized her for the rest of her immortal life." At least they'd left my arms and head loose from the freeze. I glanced back at Rafe and gave him an encouraging smile. Then I put my hands on my hips to show I still had attitude. "Well?"
"You're all about others, aren't you?" Caryon shook his head. "This may not work, Spyte. If she's really" - he shuddered - "good, how can she do the job?"
"There's only one way to find out. Tell her." Spyte dragged Penny out of his pocket. "This damned rat is showing potential. She actually gnawed a hole in my pocket and broke skin." His black eyes twinkled. "She was going for my family jewels."
"That's my girl. She probably thought that ripping them off and tossing them to me would be a nice parting gift." I nodded at her proudly. "Since you seem to be determined to keep her."
Caryon laughed. "Glory, Glory, you are such a hoot. Do you think we'd ever be afraid of you or your little fledgling?"
"You know, I'm thinking. If Glory won't do this job, maybe Miss Penny here will. I would like to keep her. You should hear her vocabulary. And she bit me, Car. Me! I'm really impressed." Spyte's gruesome mouth was a perfect O of surprise.
"It's an idea. A backup plan." Caryon studied Penny with an interest that made me desperate to snatch her away. If I could only move.
"Back up to this shoe, Caryon, and I'll shove it up your backside when you have the guts to unfreeze me." I gave him my best snarl. "Leave. Penny. Alone."
Caryon just smiled as he focused on me again. "I will if you take our deal. Lucifer wants you to gather souls for him. You know so many interesting people. Alesa gave him quite a list of potential donors. And he thinks you're in a good position to be a harvester for us."
"You're out of your freaking mind." I watched Penny lying in Spyte's hand as he stroked her between her ears. She was shivering. "Never."
"We can't make you do it." Caryon looked up at the night sky. "There are these aggravating rules in place. But we can bribe you, and Alesa suggested a really good one."
"I can't imagine what you could offer me that would tempt me to lure my friends and acquaintances over to the dark side." I wasn't really listening. I was trying to keep my mind blank since I knew they could read it, though I desperately wanted to get us out of there.
"Gloriana St. Clair," Caryon intoned with the voice of an announcer on a quiz show. "How would you like to be a size six?"