Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
Page 13

“Give me a break. Rafe’s cut off my money and Luc certainly didn’t send me off with a credit card.” Alesa’s smile chilled me. “Of course I could always knock over a liquor store, snatch a purse or two. It’s easy when you can turn people to stone.”
“Absolutely not!” My headache was turning into the vampire equivalent of a migraine. “Here’s a challenge. See if you can get your money honestly. You figure out how to do that and I’ll take you dancing with me.”
“Honestly?” Alesa spat the word. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Demons don’t do honest.” She looked down at herself. Tonight she had on a long black knit skirt and a black and silver top that said “Baby on Board” in rhinestones. She also wore black tights and black and silver demiboots. “Though I do know fashion. You’ve got customers out there who could use some help.”
“You can’t work here.” The very thought had me up and out of my chair. I put myself between Alesa and the door into the shop.
“Kidding. Demons don’t work either unless it’s to garner a soul for Lucifer.” Alesa batted her ridiculously long dark lashes at me. “Come over to the dark side, Glory, and we’ll have a ball. A little petty crime is barely a blip on the sin scale and Mugs and Muffins seems to be raking in the cash. I could take out that vamp behind the counter while you empty the register. Then I’d have money for a new hotel room.”
“A blip? Stealing is so much more than that. Even if the owner Diana and I weren’t friends, I’d never do that.” I shuddered at the way her mind worked. “And a new room? What’s wrong with the old one?” I thought Rafe had her settled in a hotel, one fairly cheap and far enough away to keep her out of my thoughts.
“Never mind. You’ve challenged me. So I’ll give it a try. Honesty. Maybe it’ll be fun for a change.” She smiled that creepy smile of hers.
“Yes, it might even grow on you.” And it certainly would be a better role model for her baby. Unfortunately I really didn’t think she could do anything honestly. But if she did somehow manage it, I’d make sure we went dancing on a night when Flo wasn’t going.
“Oh, no, you don’t. Not putting me off. We’ll go tonight. I can avoid your saintly friends. In fact, wouldn’t be caught dead with them.” For some reason that made her laugh. “Or undead. Gee, Glory, where’s your sense of humor?”
“I lost it when a pregnant demon knocked on my door.” I knew I was being backed into a corner.
“What time?” Alesa had a gleam in her eyes I didn’t trust. She’d been reading my mind of course.
“You expect to make money tonight?” I wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and lie down with a cold cloth on my aching head.
“Oh, I guarantee it. And I won’t rob or kill anyone to get it. Now what time, Glory?” Alesa walked to the back door, the one that opened into the alley.
“We close at midnight on Saturdays. Meet me here then.” I sighed. “And no one gets hurt, Alesa.”
“Right. Got it.” She smiled. “See you before midnight, cash in hand. Oh, this is going to be fun.”
“Glory, there’s something going on across the street you need to see.” Erin had just come in from her dinner break and slid behind the cash register where I was finishing a sale.
“What do you mean?” I handed the customer her bag then turned to my clerk.
“Go see for yourself.” Erin laughed. “No, not funny. Sorry.”
Somehow I knew this was Alesa’s doing. I pushed open the door and looked toward the corner. There were several people standing in front of a woman who held a hand-lettered sign. No rhinestones now. Alesa, barefoot and dirty, wore a sad-looking and very faded knit maternity dress. Her sign said “Pregnant, Hungry and Homeless” and a paper grocery sack sat on the ground in front of her. While I watched, a man dropped a few bills into the bag. I heard Alesa say, “Bless you.”
Bless you? From a demon? I ran across the street.
“She’s not homeless!”
“Yes, I am. They kicked me out of the hotel this afternoon. Something about a little fire and Rafael canceling his credit card.” Alesa sniffed and wiped her eyes. Dark smudges, which humans watching would assume were mascara, made her look haggard. “And of course you told me I couldn’t stay in your apartment.”
“Why are you hassling her, lady?” Another man dropped a twenty in her bag. “Haven’t you ever fallen on hard times?”
“Yeah. And where’s this baby’s father, honey?” A woman handed Alesa a pamphlet and a ten-dollar bill. “There’s a shelter where you can sleep just a few blocks from here. Be sure to eat first. They lock the doors at ten.”
“Bless you both. The father’s denying everything. He’s insisting on a DNA test. Can you believe it? And he knows I was true to him.” Alesa sniffled. “Some people are so kind. Some”—she shook her head at me—“aren’t.”
Just then a police car pulled up to the curb.
“Move along. No panhandling or I’ll have to take you in.” The policeman said through his open window.
Alesa waved her pamphlet at him. “No worries, Officer. I’m on my way to the shelter.” She picked up her bag, which I could see was full of cash, and started down the sidewalk.
I hurried to catch up with her. “‘Bless you’? I’m surprised Lucifer didn’t singe your tail for talking like that.”
“I didn’t say the ‘G’ word.” Alesa winced when she stepped on a stone. “This outfit did the job, but I can’t stand looking poor and pitiful one more minute!” She blinked and now stood clean and changed into black leather, maternity style. It was a hip look and I wished I had an outfit like that to sell in my shop. With the metal studs and thigh-high boots, she could have been a motorcycle gang’s Madonna.
“What are you thinking? Doing magic in public and on the street?” I frantically checked for shocked or bewildered bystanders. Luckily it was dark and we had the park on one side and an abandoned building across the street. The police car had disappeared around the corner.
“Relax. For a vampire you are way too uptight. Anybody ever tell you that, Glory?” Alesa stopped and looked me over. “I read your thoughts. So Ian told you something about being a super freak. Never human. I know he’s right. You’re a weird combo. When I was inside you, I did a little poking around. You’ve got powers you’ve never even tried to tap, girlfriend.”
Okay, I’d never trusted this demon but she did literally know me inside out. I had to ask.
“What do you mean?”
“Come here.” She dragged me into the deserted park. The only occupant was a man asleep on a bench. Someone really homeless. She poked him on his shoulder. “Get up.”
“What are you doing, Alesa?”
“An experiment. Here’s someone who needs a shelter and shower. And you say I reek, Glory?” She dragged him off the bench.
“What the hell? This is my bench. Get yer own!” He hit at her and lunged back toward his home sweet home. Alesa just laughed and danced away from his filthy hands.
“Puh-lease. You can keep your precious bed.” She reached into her bag which she’d turned into a black leather tote. “Five bucks if you walk to that tree and back.”
The man stopped and licked his lips. “What’s yer game?”
“No game. Easy money. Now walkee, walkee.” Alesa fluttered the bill in front of his bloodshot eyes then gave him a shove.
“Damned students and their stupid ’speriments.” But he did start to stagger down the dirt path.
“What are you up to, Alesa?” I’d stayed downwind of both of them. Not that I was breathing, but I didn’t want the stench clinging to my hair or clothes.
“Giving you a chance to strut your stuff, vamp girl.” Alesa gave me a toothy grin. “Now concentrate. Stare at this stink weed and turn him to stone.” Alesa waved at him.
“Are you nuts? I’m not a demon.” I gaped at her. “I could never…” Turn someone to stone? If only I could. It was an awesome power. The best defense possible. I did stare at the man. Easy target, barely moving, obviously under the influence of something. Was it possible…?
“Didn’t say you were a demon. Know you aren’t. You should be so lucky. But while I was stuck in you, I did a Glory gut check.” Alesa shuddered. “And I thought hell could be a pit. Amidst all your gooey goodness I found some interesting tidbits, hints of some stuff just lying around, waiting to be used.” Alesa’s fangs appeared. “How dumb can you get? Honey, you want your guys to respect you, you need to pull up a little of your inner badass from time to time.” She nodded toward the man who’d decided he’d done five bucks’ worth and was headed back to his bench. “This statue thing is a perfect way to show you can kick butt.”
“I don’t believe… Surely if I could…” I shook my head. Alesa just stared at me, daring me to give it a go. What did I have to lose? This was probably a trick. Alesa would watch me try it then laugh her ass off. But I whirled around, glared at the poor man who’d made it halfway home and thought, “Freeze!”
He stalled in mid stumble. I held my breath, then ran up to him.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” He still didn’t move. I poked him in his filthy jacket sleeve but he lost position abruptly and staggered a few steps, collapsing against me.
“Eww, yuck.” I pushed him away. “Well, that was an epic fail.”
“Not really. More like a five-second freeze. You lost focus. Try again.” Alesa stood behind me, her hands on my shoulders. “Keep your mind on your business. Don’t get distracted by his stench.”
“’Less yer buyin’ me some booze or passin’ me the moolah, take yer ’speriments somewheres else.” The man patted his pockets. “If someone hadn’t stole my knife, I’d show ya what happens when ya mess with Jimmy Flint.” He coughed and sputtered, obviously about to spit right at me.