Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
Page 16

“I am so, um, weak when it comes to resisting what I want. You know?” Flo glanced at Richard, who was talking to Jerry and Damian on the other side of the table.
“No, you’re strong. But I wouldn’t want either of us put to the test again.” I squeezed her hand. “Thanks for helping me with Aggie. I needed for her to give Ian a blood sample. For some tests he’s running. So I had to bribe her with shoe shopping. She still wants to be pals with us.”
“And who wouldn’t want to be our friends, I ask?” Flo grinned. “But what’s this about blood samples? For Ian MacDonald? Does Jeremiah know?”
“Yes. That’s one reason I have a new bodyguard. Because I’m going to be seeing Ian not only for Alesa but for myself. To figure out why I always have those weird reactions to Ian’s drugs.” I pulled Flo’s hand to my stomach. “Feel. I have a lumpy stomach now, Flo. Because I took a new drug and had a strange reaction to it.”
“Why did you take it? Will you never learn?” Flo poked my tummy. “This is strange. You never had this before. I remember how you looked—not thin, more like a Rubens painting, round and pretty and very smooth. What was the drug for?”
“It was a wonder drug. Penny took it too. It let us eat real food.” I sighed. “You see why I had to try it?”
“You and your craving for such things. Cheetos! Chocolate!” Flo shook her head. “Me? I never wish for Nonna’s pasta. Though it could make you weep, I tell you. Delizio!” She kissed her fingertips in typical Italian fashion. “It was too long ago, I have moved on.” She grabbed my arm. “But, Glory, you know you always have bad things happen to you with Ian’s drugs!”
“So I’m stupid.” I was getting irritated, more with myself than with Flo. “I get that. But these blood tests helped Ian find out something important.” My eyes suddenly filled with tears.
“What? Amica, what is this?” Flo gestured for Richard. “Ricardo, come here.”
“No, I shouldn’t…” Then I was sobbing on her shoulder.
“Life of the party, isn’t she?” Laurie stood behind Flo.
“What’s going on?” Jerry sat in the chair beside me.
I couldn’t quit crying while Flo patted my back and murmured soothing Italian words in my ear. Finally I seemed to run dry and sat up.
“Sorry about that.” I sniffed and looked around for a tissue.
Laurie patted her pockets. “Guess this gig’s going to have different requirements from guarding a blood importer for the Transylvanian mob. He never cried. At least not until I told him I was leaving.” She sighed when she came up empty.
“Yeah, start carrying tissues, an extra lipstick in my favorite color and sunglasses, in case I have swollen eyes from all the weeping and wailing I’m going to do.” I gratefully took the tissue Flo dug out of her designer clutch. “And if that mobster had the issues I’ve had lately, I bet he would have had a meltdown too.” I mopped at my eyes.
“I get a bonus for these crying jags, Jerry?” Laurie raised her eyebrows at him. He was right beside me now, as usual speechless when I fall apart.
“Don’t promise her that, Jer, you’d go broke.” I dredged up a smile and looked around the table. “Sorry, guys. Guess I needed to unload and Flo has the best shoulder for that.” I glanced at Jerry. “I know. Yours is great, but you always want to fix things.”
“I could fix if I knew what in the hell you are crying about, mia amica.” Flo handed me another tissue. “We can go to the ladies room. Do something about your makeup.”
“Too crowded. Employee break room. Rafe won’t mind.” I stood. “Guess Laurie comes with us.”
“Lucky me. Yes, I do.” She was right on our heels.
I heard Jerry whispering excuses to Damian and Richard. I stopped and turned around. “Tell them my problem. Maybe they can help me figure this thing out.”
“You’re sure?” Jerry was on his feet and by my side in an instant.
“If it won’t get me kicked out of town by the council. First make Damian promise this won’t go to them.” I sighed. “That’s all I need, a town eviction notice.”
“My brother will not dare.” Flo clearly shot Damian a hot mental message and he jumped to his feet. They exchanged glares and a few hissed words in Italian, not bothering to use mental messages. Finally they both gestured and Damian sat again.
“Relax, Gloriana. I am your friend first of all, council member second, as my sister reminds me.” He gave me a charming smile, obviously able to turn his mood around on a dime.
“Thanks, Damian.” My voice cracked and I felt the urge to sob again.
“See? It’s settled. Now let’s go.” Flo pulled me toward the stairs.
With the band playing, the employee break room was empty as I knew it would be. I used the mirror and supplies from my purse to erase all signs of my crying jag. Enough waterworks. Not even when I told Flo the whole story. And I was going to have to. She paced the room while she waited for me to finish with lipstick and mascara. Her frowning glances at me in front of the mirror made me realize I was torturing her with this so I hurried.
“Sorry, pal. Now about the blood samples. Ian discovered from the first one he took that when Jerry turned me vampire I wasn’t…” I sucked in a breath. Not crying. No, no, no. “Human.”
“Excuse me?” Laurie said this first. She actually stepped close to me, picked up my hand and sniffed my skin. “I don’t get it. Vampire, that’s all I’m reading. And the various cosmetics, hairspray and that demon you’ve been consorting with.”
“Not human?” Flo’s eyes were wide. “Ridicolo! You know what you were before. You told me about your life in London. Your first husband. How you met Jeremiah. Is this some trick to hurt your lover? Part of the feud between these Scots? In Italia there were forever these vendettas. Pah! Why can’t these men let them go?”
“No vendetta, Flo. I wish it was just a trick to hurt Jerry. He still believes that’s Ian’s agenda.” I sat on the couch and patted the seat beside me. “But Ian’s convinced me it’s true. He’s been comparing my blood sample to other paranormals, trying to figure out what else I could have been. When he heard I knew a Siren, he wanted Aggie’s blood sample, for comparison to mine. She’s scared of needles so the only way to get her to cooperate was to promise the shoe-shopping trip.”
“I never thought I would say it, but I can’t think of shoes with you in such a fix!” Flo collapsed against the sofa cushions. “This is insensato! Here.” She grabbed my arm and pulled it to her nose as Laurie had done. She inhaled. “La tigre is right. Nothing but vampire. Good, clean vampire with a hint of that lavender bodywash you like. If you had something else in you, wouldn’t you reek of it?”
“That’s what I thought. Maybe Ian was messing with me. That stupid feud behind it. Until something else happened tonight, Flo.” I glanced at Laurie. “Something that convinced me this might be true.”
“What? Is the demon filling your head with stories? She crouched inside you like a creepy disease for a while. Maybe she infected you and that’s what Ian found. What is going on?” Flo leaned forward and took my hands. “Tell us, Glory.”
“Not sure I’d believe anything a creature from hell spews.” Laurie walked over and turned the lock on the door then plopped down in a chair across from us. “But if she managed to prove something to you, spill.”
“She showed me that I can turn people to stone!” I winced when Flo’s grip tightened and she gasped. Clearly she was impressed. Laurie? I would have to make the earth spin backward to impress her.
“Oh, yeah? Let’s see it.” Laurie jumped up, opened the door and dragged a girl in from the hall. She locked the door again, did her tiger magic on the puzzled girl which got her to smile, suddenly happy to see us.
“Hi, y’all. Laurie here said you wanted to see me? Buy me a drink? I’m Amber.” The blue-eyed blonde blinked. She’d obviously already enjoyed a few drinks at the bar.
Since Laurie had never spoken out loud to her, I had new respect for my tiger’s powers. “Sure, Amber, I’ll buy you a drink.” I got up to face her, looked in her eyes, concentrated and did my freeze thing.
“Glory! Look at her. You did it! She can’t move.” Flo jumped to her feet, prodding the girl with a bronze-tipped nail. “This is fantastico.” She raised the girl’s arm and it stayed. Waved her hand in front of her eyes and Amber never blinked. “Can you teach me?”
“No, she can’t. This is a power, Florence. Glory’s got it. You can’t buy it or learn it.” Laurie nodded approvingly. “Will make my job easier. Good going, Glo. Guess I can put up with your girly crying thing if you can kick butt like that.”
“Gee, thanks. Now I just have to thaw her. Can you get her out of here, Laurie?” I dug a ten-dollar bill out of my purse. “Give her this for that drink.”
“She’s had enough. I’m going to suggest she switch to bottled water. That man she’s with thinks he’s got a sure thing. This woman needs to learn some self-respect.” Laurie waited for me to thaw Amber then did some mental messaging that got Amber out the door and on her way with no memory of us.
“Glory, you must be something else,” Flo said quietly. “Something… Well, I never thought…” She studied me like she’d never seen me before. “Could you be demon now?”
“Flo, honey, I’m the same as I was five minutes ago!” I touched her shoulder. To my horror, she flinched. “Seriously. No matter what I used to be, I’m all vampire now. You said so yourself. No taint of that hellish sweetness. Right?”
“Of course, what am I thinking?” Flo stood and brushed down her skirt. As usual, she looked great in a red leather miniskirt and red and black sweater that hugged her figure. “I’m just sorry that Ricardo and I are going to Paris at the end of the week. We won’t be here to support you with this demon problem. Or this other… thing.”