Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs
Page 9

 Gerry Bartlett

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“Too bad. Rockers dig tattoos.” Melanie wrote something in her notebook.
I pulled a face. “Don’t I know it. Ray’s are awesome.”
Melanie looked thoughtful as she slipped out of the bedroom and shut the door. I turned to Darren. “Are we done now? Can’t you people just share the measurements?”
“No way.” Darren smiled coldly. “You think that bitch would give me the correct ones? Right now she’s copying the numbers and changing them in case I try to look at her notebook. She’ll have the real ones stashed someplace safe.” He whipped out his measuring tape, almost hitting me in the eye. “Hold still, now. I want to get this right. How high a heel can you walk in comfortably, Glory?”
“Four inch, five in a pinch. I get shoes?” I felt his knuckles brush my nipples and glanced up to catch a gleam in his eyes. Valdez growled and I nudged him with my foot.
“Of course you get shoes. What’s your favorite brand? You’ll also get an evening bag and jewelry for each outfit.” He reached around me to pull the tape around my waist.
He was actually a nice-looking guy if you went for the grunge thing. He could use a haircut and shave, but the overall effect was nicely masculine. He also could have benefited from a gym membership. Of course his real appeal was the B positive thrumming through his veins. I slid my tongue over my fangs and ordered them to retreat. I’d had a bottle of synthetic earlier and wasn’t really hungry. But then, fresh . . .
“Anything that looks hot and is perfect with the dress.” I shook my head. “You guys have a real challenge. But I saw you studying my shoes in the closet. Get the right size and I’ll be okay.”
“There, all done.” Darren looked down at Valdez, who growled again when the man brushed his hand down my hip. “I’ll get you the best of everything, Glory. From your beautiful head down to your toes. Be sure to book a pedicure on the day of the event.” He winked. “Go for a red polish. Now, guess I’ll have to leave you with Butch. Sorry about that. See you in the living room.” He took off, shutting the door behind him.
“Alone at last.” Butch looked me over. “Please ignore that trash-talking idiot. Tell me what your dream dress would look like.”
“Wouldn’t that be cheating?” I held out my arms while Butch went to work getting a bust measurement.
“Not at all. Those idiots should have asked you the same thing.” Butch was working on my waist now. I didn’t dare look at the number. Some things you just don’t want to know. “And just between us, I’m a stylist in my other life. Took care of Julia in her second trimester with the twins. Angelina too. By the time I dress you, no one will suspect a thing, sugar buns.”
I looked down to where Valdez was struggling not to laugh out loud. As it was, he was turning into a wheezing, hacking, staggering dog that had Butch frowning at him.
“Is the dog okay?”
“This is what happens when he drinks out of the toilet.” I grabbed his collar and pulled him toward the door. “He’ll be okay. He just needs some air. Maybe Ray will shove him out on the balcony.” I pushed him into the living room and shut the door. “There. Now, where were we?”
“I was about to measure your thighs. I don’t suppose you’d drop those jeans. They’re adding precious inches you can’t afford, sweetie.”
“No, I’m not dropping my pants. And, no, I’m not pregnant.” I put my hands on my hips. “I’m not model thin like most of Ray’s girlfriends, okay? But if you can come up with a design that can disguise my figure flaws, you’ll be the winner. Are we clear?”
Butch grinned and put a finger over his lips. “Crystal, sugar buns. I know just what you need to wear to make you look fabulous.” He quickly took a few more measurements, headed for the door and flung it open. “We’d better join the others before I get accused of conspiring with the judge.”
Sure enough, all eyes were on us as we entered the room. There were a few more questions, then Ray pleaded a full schedule and got them out of there. Zia was the last to leave, air-kissing Ray and ignoring me as she thanked him for the promo spots.
“That went pretty well.” Ray shut the door behind the last of them.
“Yeah, there wasn’t an unkind word about my figure issues. I imagine those comments will be in the behind-the-scenes shots they film while they cut yards and yards of fabric for my dress. Boy, won’t that be a budget buster.”
“Quit putting yourself down.” Ray frowned.
I hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for taking care of the measurement thing. You’re my hero. Always looking out for me.”
“I try.” He pulled me close and rested his chin on my head. “Valdez, quit growling.”
“Are you really in a hurry? Because I still want to go see that guy . . .”
“Okay, I’ve got an hour to spare. Where do we meet him?”
“He has a place in Malibu.” I had no idea how far away that was or how long it took to get there.
Ray frowned. “We’ll never make it, unless . . .”
“Unless what?”
“What do you think, Glory? Ray wants you to shift with him and fly out there. It’s the only way to fit it into his schedule. He’s got rehearsal later.” Valdez, who’d obviously been mind reading, frowned. “I guess I could do the same. Not what Blade would like, but, hell, I’ve been shifting into other forms lately anyway. You’re sure not going out there without me.”
“Is Valdez right, Ray? You want me to shift and fly out to Malibu with you? Are you sure we can find the place?” I hate shifting. It’s a phobia I have. The whole process is creepy to me. I like my human form. It’s comfortable, fits me like a glove, even if it is a little oversize. The bat or bird thing? Yuck.
“You got an address?” Ray held out his hand and I gave him Ian’s card. “Yes, I know where this is. Pricy real estate. Right on the beach. I can find it. But we need to get out there now. If Valdez thinks he needs to go, so be it. Is there something I should know about this deal that you’re not telling me?”
I blocked my thoughts. Of course there was. Just about everything. I smiled. “Well, you’ll love this. The MacDonalds and the Campbells are ancient enemies. They hate each other. That’s why Ian needs to be sure I’m with you, not Blade.”
“So I’ll probably like this guy.” Ray grinned and opened the door to the balcony. He looked at Nathan, who’d come back just as the TV crew had left. “You’ll cover for us? Keep the gang away?”
“Sure. You do know how this freaks me out to watch you change, don’t you, bro?” Nathan looked at me. “Glory, I thought you didn’t like to do this. What does this guy have that motivates you so much?”
“Tell you later.” I looked at my watch again and stepped onto the balcony. I steeled myself, feeling my nerves jumping as I tried to work up my courage. I really, really wanted to get skinny. Otherwise this was so not my thing.
“Bird or bat?” Valdez was still right beside me, his presence always a comfort. “Stay close, Glory. We’ll be right behind Ray. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.” Voice shaky, but I was determined.
“Bat, let’s move.” Then Ray was a bat, just like that.
I pictured the same change in myself and felt it shudder through me, the floor dropping below me as I soared into the air. I suppose it should be a cool experience to fly over Los Angeles at night like that. The lights of the city were beautiful when I dared glance down. But I was totally focused on not losing Ray. Not that he would have allowed that. He and Valdez flanked me, obviously taking care not to let me fly off on a tangent. In what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes, we were near the ocean and I could see it dark with a phosphorescent froth below us. The houses that lined the beach were massive and well lit.
Ray started down toward one that was on a cliff with a wooden stair that zigzagged down to the beach below. He landed on a wooden deck, changing back into his human form almost as soon as his feet hit. Valdez was back to Labradoodle form as well. They stared at me as I concentrated. I was relieved when I could shake out my hair, back to my Glory self with only a slight stumble. Maybe I was getting the hang of this.
“Man, what a rush.” Ray was clearly jazzed by the whole flying-over-L.A. thing. “But if I hadn’t spent a lot of time here, I sure could have gotten lost. Luckily I spotted some major highways and followed them.”
“Move and you’re dead, vampires.” The voice that came out of the dark obviously meant business.
I didn’t move an inch.
Four
“Who says so?” Valdez jumped in front of me. “Damn it, Caine. We should have circled first. Landed farther down the beach.”
“Shut up.” A blond surfer, either one of the men from the club or his clone, stepped out of the darkness. Three more just like him soon had us surrounded. This time they wore wet suits. Like they’d actually been surfing instead of just body-guarding. Their hard stares made it clear they didn’t welcome drop-in visitors who interrupted their playtime.
“Hate to admit it, but you’re right, V.” Ray moved up beside Valdez and snarled. “I’ve got the two on the right.”
“Relax, gentlemen. My men are just doing their job. Of course you’re welcome here, Mr. Caine.” Ian strolled out onto the deck and the guards parted, though none of them smiled or relaxed. “Glory, I’m delighted you could make it. Sorry for the surly reception. My guests usually arrive at the front door.”
I didn’t see any weapons. But then, vamps don’t usually use them anyway. The vampire males I know pride themselves on their hand-to-hand and their fang action. I grabbed Ray’s arm. He was too new at the vamp game to be particularly good at either.
“Yes, well, Ray’s a busy man. We’re on a tight schedule and flew in.” I really didn’t like the vibe here, but forced a smile. “Israel Caine, Ian MacDonald.”