Real Vampires Have Curves
Page 39

"I couldn't do it, Glory." Lacy prowled the shop like a caged tiger.
"He wouldn't get in the shower?" I was learning way more about Lacy's sex life than I wanted to, but I had a nagging feeling my security was at stake. Oops. At stake. Gee, I hate vampire jokes.
"Of course." Lacy flushed. "He's got a great body, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of on his part. So we're in the shower, the water's just right, but I just couldn't make myself read his thoughts. Ryan's insisted he's not put off by my flat butt, but what if he hates it?"
A flat butt, what a body issue. I didn't have to look back to know my own butt was ass tronomical.
"So what about after the shower? When you got dressed? Couldn't you take a chance and read his mind then?"
"I got up my nerve and reached for his glasses, but he got all antsy. Had to go, early class, a bunch of excuses that a few minutes before hadn't existed. I'm afraid he's got another girlfriend. One with a nice ass like yours." Lacy was still pacing. Have I mentioned how much I love Lacy? "Come back into the storeroom with me." Valdez still snoozed by the door. In the hours just before dawn, we were never busy. I should probably close, but it gave me time to catch up on paperwork. Lacy plopped on a chair in the storeroom. "It smells funny in here."
"Bug spray." I nodded toward the shelf. "Ryan ever talk about his bug fetish?"
"What?" She sat up straight. "That's ridiculous. He's not into bugs." She looked thoughtful. "Though I have to admit he's got a hard-on for old comic books about superheroes that I find a little weird. Did you know there's a vampire hunter named Blade in one series?"
"Lacy, concentrate here. You want to know why Ryan's acting funny about his glasses. You want to know if he has another girlfriend. And I think his glasses are keeping us from reading his mind. They're so thick."
"Maybe they are blocking us." Lacy got a gleam in her eyes. "Do you think we can work together to get them off him? I would like to know about that girlfriend situation. I haven't used my cat strength on him yet, but he does work out."
"I can hold him long enough for you to get his glasses off, then I'll try to do the whammy. If I can get him under, we can ask him all the questions we want. And I'll be able to read his mind. So will you."
"Why do you want to read his mind?"
"I told you. It's just a funny feeling I've got. We needed help in the shop and you immediately met Ryan who's perfect for it. Coincidence?"
"Stranger things have happened. I call it synchronicity. The universe provided Ryan just when we needed him—a lover for me and a clerk for you." Lacy winced. "You're right. I've lived too long to believe in coincidences. But I really think Ryan's legit. He's a great salesman." She sighed. "He's sure sold me."
"Obviously. And I hope you're right, Lacy. But since we both have questions, I think we need to take a shot at reading his mind." Now I felt guilty. I'd gotten Lacy worked up and I had absolutely no proof that Ryan was anything but a lucky hire for me.
"What if it doesn't work? What if he gets mad at us?" Lacy's eyes filled. "I love him, Glory."
"We blame me. I'm a crazed woman, determined to give him a makeover. Have to see what he looks like without his glasses." Lacy giggled. "Yep, I think that'll play. He likes you, but he does wonder about some of your friends."
" I wonder about some of my friends. So what do you say? Are you in? Do we take down Ryan together?"
"Sure. When is this intervention going to take place?"
"Monday. When we're closed. Tell him I've got another commission check for him. About nine o'clock here in the shop."
"That's still a few days away. In the meantime, I'll keep working on those glasses. I hate to see us use violence." I patted Lacy's shoulder. She was a little bony. "I'm sure it's just my raging paranoia. Ryan's probably fine, just into a few weird hobbies."
"I hope you're right. I can deal with bugs and graphic novels. But if he's cheating… He swears we're exclusive, but he's been out of pocket a few evenings and gave me vague excuses." Lacy slid off the stool and walked to the door. "Damn it. I'm freaking out. I'm going hunting before I relieve you here. See you in a few."
I watched her snarl at Valdez, who didn't even bother to look up, then she was gone. An intervention. I glanced up at the shelf where the cockroach still sat in a puddle of spray. Maybe I'd get some answers to questions I wasn't even sure I had.
"Are we going to church tonight, Flo?" I was still in my robe and lounging on the love seat while sipping my wake-up Bloody Merry.
"I asked Ricardo to take us. Do you mind?" Flo was brushing out her long dark hair.
"I think he'll mind, Flo. I'm not his favorite person." Well, shoot. I'd really looked forward to going to church and sitting through the whole service this time. "Are you sure you trust him? He hates me."
"I know, Glory." Flo frowned and set down the brush. "I don't understand it. He hates Damian too. Which I do understand. My brother is not popular with other men."
"Casanova wouldn't be. But I've done nothing to Richard except chew him out for failure to blend. He needs to get over it." And I needed to get over my mistrust if Flo and Ricardo were going to be a couple. He was here almost every night when I got home from the shop. So Valdez—who seemed to tolerate Richard better than I did—and I had to hang out in the living room with the TV loud enough to drown out the sounds coming from Flo's bedroom or give up TV and hole up in my bedroom. Obviously watching me read wasn't Valdez's entertainment of choice.
"I'm sorry we disturb you, Glory." Flo got a faraway look. "We will go to Ricardo's place from now on. I promise."
"I don't want to run you off." Maybe I should put up a block to Flo. This mind reading was really getting to be a drag. But at least we were communicating.
"I've been inconsiderate. But if you would just decide on a lover of your own, you could make your own noises." Flo looked me over. "Are you going to get dressed? Please don't stay home because of Ricardo." I should just decide on a lover. The Florence da Vincis of the world could do that. Just decide and the man would worship at their feet or any other body part that needed attention. I got up and went into the kitchen to get a fresh can of Bloody Merry. I really didn't want to spend an evening with Richard. He made me uneasy. No matter how devoted he seemed to Flo I knew he still hated me, and was that fair? I was nice to him when he came over. Well, maybe nice is an overstatement. But I tolerated him for Flo's sake.
"I think I'll stay home. The service is carried on one of the local stations, isn't it?"
"TV's not the same as being there, Glory. Please come with us."
I turned on the TV and found the guide channel. "No, look. It's on later. This way I can enjoy my night off, relax and still hear the great music." I grinned. "And if I float during the hymns, then only Valdez will see me."
"Now I feel bad. I'll call Richard and tell him I stay home too."
"No, you don't." I walked to my bedroom door. "I'm going to shower and wash my hair. I'll expect you to be gone by the time I get out." I looked at Valdez. "It's steak night, pup. Rib eye, rare." I'd learned over the years that my dog needed red meat at least once a week. Not the dog food variety either. The rest of the time, he was happy to chow down on whatever junk food we had in the cupboard.
"There you go, Flo. Blondie and I will hang out here. I'll eat and she'll float. No problem."
"Fine. But I will go to Ricardo's after the service and spend the night and day there." Flo winked. "Maybe you invite Jeremiah to come over."
Tempting thought. He'd called to let me know he was working on the poison angle. Unfortunately, his guy inside was a lot like Tony Crapetta, scared of vampires, but willing to take their money. Blade wasn't going to hand over a dime until he was sure he would get what he paid for.
"Don't worry about me. I've got a book to finish reading. Some hand washing to do." I grinned. "At least the thongs you make me wear don't take long to dry."
"Have you washed the Kevlar vest yet?" Flo hadn't been impressed, even though I'd made her try it on. It had almost fit her, she's got a pretty generous bust herself, but she didn't like the way it made her look. Like Blade had said, it did tend to flatten us.
"I washed it. I don't suppose you'd consider wearing it under your clothes tonight. Westwood's out there, not to mention the religious nut."
"No, Ricardo will protect me. And I don't think Westwood has my picture. Both times he shot near me, it was dark. Not like when he aimed at you and Derek."
"Gee, thanks for reminding me." A night holed up in my apartment with excellent security was sounding better and better. "Have fun. Say hi to God for me." I headed for the shower.
I'd bathed, thrown on my bat T-shirt and jeans and had just settled down with Shape-shifting for Dummies (just kidding) when there was a knock on the door. Valdez jumped up and growled.
"Who is it?"
"Damian."
"Flo's not here."
"I don't want Florence. Can I come in? Please."
"Why?" I looked at Valdez. He looked ready to take a hunk out of Damian if I let him in. Not that I was against the concept.
"I need to talk to you about my sister. I'll be on my best behavior. I swear on her life." He sounded serious. Of course I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
" Don't let him in." Valdez punctuated this with some really ferocious barking.
"Hush. Lacy's sleeping across the hall." I got up and threw the dead bolts. "And don't attack unless I give the word."