Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
Chapter Seven

"We're going back to the castle, Glory." Cait kept glancing at Jerry, who paced restlessly next to the front door. "My brother wants to get on a horse again and we can't do it here. You're welcome to come with us or stay here."
"What do you want me to do, Jerry?" I had received another invitation, hand delivered just a few moments ago. My mother wasn't wasting time. I was expected to meet her second candidate in a few hours.
"I don't know. Right now I need fresh air, to get away from all these blasted machines and Caitie's doctor friend." He glared at his sister.
"Bart's coming with us, Jeremiah. He should be pulling up any minute. He needs to keep working with you. If Glory's mother isn't going to cooperate, then hypnotism is still your best hope for regaining some memories. I don't want to hear another word about it." Cait looked from him to me. "Do you want Gloriana with you or not?"
"If she's willing, she can come. Though in a way this is her fault." He shook his head and finally looked at me directly. Maybe he could tell I was trying not to sway him but was desperately hoping he'd let me stay close.
"Jeremiah Campbell. That's not fair and you know it!" Cait stepped to my side.
"Blame it on my blasted headache." Jerry walked up to me and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry, Gloriana. Don't you think I realize this is your mother's doing? Caitie and I know all about interfering mothers. Our own mother has spent her life doing everything she can to make our lives a misery. Right, Caitie?"
"And you don't remember most of it." His sister kissed Jerry's cheek. "I'm sorry you are still hurting."
"'Tis no worse than a blow on the head with a rock. It'll pass." He still held my hand, almost absentmindedly.
"Will you let me come back to the castle then?" I had to clear my throat to get the words out.
He released my hand then jerked the front door open. "Do what you wish, Gloriana. I'll be outside. I feel strong enough to fly home and I know the way. Bart can make himself useful, fly with me in case I weaken." He scowled. "Damn but I'm sick of not knowing my own strength." With that he slammed the heavy door.
"Oh, Cait, I hate to see him this way." I sank down on the living room couch. It was comfortable, not like the stiff formal pieces they'd had back when Jerry had first brought me here. I'm sure he'd been shocked to see the new decorations in the old home. One shock after another. I didn't blame him for being out of sorts.
"We all hate it. If you come with us, you'll have to face my mother's wrath. She won't cut you any slack in this. Once she finds out you were indirectly responsible, all hell will break loose." Cait sat beside me. "I can't protect you. Mag scares me shitless."
I sighed. "I know how you feel. My own mother is terrifying. But we do seem to stand up to them. As much as we can. You divorced the MacLaran boy and I know that just about gave Mag seizures."
Cait giggled. "Yes, indeed. But between his tightfistedness and his philandering, Mum finally saw things my way. She won't speak to any of that clan to this day." She leaned back against the sofa cushions. "I can't believe Jerry's going to fly home. I hope he makes it." She turned when the front door creaked open. "Bart! Did my brother tell you his mad plan?"
"Yes. Did he feed properly this evening?" The doctor glanced at me.
"Not from me." I'd offered of course but he'd turned me down with a scowl. "He drank two bottles of synthetic. He's very moody." Yes, I'd call it that. Between his constant headaches and his frustrations with his memory loss, who could blame him?
"That should be enough. I'll be beside him, but keep your cell phone on, Cait. Drive my car and we'll be above you. I'll call if we have to land somewhere and need a pickup." He handed her his car keys. "You coming, Glory?"
"Not tonight. I have an, um, appointment." I stared down at my hands. "But I'd like to come tomorrow night." There was no chance I'd get Jerry to remember me if I didn't stay close. My mother could damn well follow me if she wanted these "dates" to go on.
"Good. Because I'm still convinced you are the one trigger that could bring him back to this time." Bart nodded. "Come now, Cait. Tomorrow night, Glory." He shut the door.
"Drive Jerry's car down then." Cait patted my shoulder. "I'll do what I can to defuse the situation at home. I hope Mum doesn't find out about your own part in the poisoning. I'll try to get to Jerry and make him swear to keep it a secret."
"Thanks, Caitie." I leaned forward to hug her. "I'm not sure I could take Mag's temper right now, she's cold enough to me at the best of times. I don't need her piling on the guilt."
"I've got your back, Glory. And screw the guilt. If I took responsibility for everything my mother did 'for my own good,' I'd have walked into the sun long ago." Cait knew I'd heard some hair-raising stories about Mag's interference over the years. She was right and I hugged her again for the encouraging words.
"Thanks. You're making me feel better."
"Good. Now I've got to hit the road." She smiled. "How was your date last night?"
I'd told her about my mother's conditions. Hey, I had to confide in someone, and Flo wasn't here.
"Interesting. Apollo showed up. The Sun God? Imagine living in daylight forever." I fanned my cheeks. "And I have to admit he was beautiful but with an edge."
"Sounds like just your type." Cait grinned. "Mine too. Were you tempted?"
"Not even. He had an ego the size of the sun too. And he can't be out at night." I followed her to the door. "I realized I'm a night creature after all this time. I really can't imagine giving it up." I grinned. "Though I'll say again, he was great to look at."
"No surprise there. Olympus wouldn't produce anything less than perfection, I'm sure. Be careful, though. If the gods are all as powerful as your mother, you sure don't want to make any of them mad."
"Don't I know it." I shivered, thinking about how furious Apollo had gotten when I'd turned him down. What had he wanted from my mother that he'd been willing to hook up with a mere vampire? I couldn't stop thinking about it.
"Another one tonight?" Cait picked up her suitcase from by the door. She'd given the servants the night off. Jerry had been in such a sour mood, she hadn't wanted them subjected to it.
"Yep. Can't wait to see who she drags down to hook me up with next. I'm getting on the Internet as soon as you leave to study these guys. Seems there are quite a few gods and they each have a specialty. I want to be better prepared than I was last night. Ignorance is not bliss." And I knew from my own past that knowledge could be power. I was desperate to figure out just how my mother fit into this whole Olympus scheme. Who was she?
"Hmm." Cait glanced up. "Wonder what your mother thinks would ring your bell."
I didn't have to wonder long. After the gang left, I hurried up to my room, where yet another fabulous dress waited for me. This one was white and cut toga style. Maybe tonight's guy was a traditionalist. The one-shoulder design made a bra impossible so the overall effect was pretty interesting. I'm well-endowed and perky. When Jerry is himself, he's pretty fond of the "girls." He'd have loved me in this.
I wasn't so crazy about looking like an escapee from Olympus.
Quick research made me wonder if there was a god any better than Apollo up there. Mom had started with her best shot in my opinion. But it would be interesting to see her next attempt. I was almost in a good mood as I headed downstairs. This date would be a piece of cake. I'd found out something on the Internet that was a deal breaker as far as future dates were concerned. Jerry was as good as fixed.
The same limo and driver picked me up and this time I paid close attention to where we were going. It had taken me too long to find my way back last night. I'd finally had to resort to flying overhead and trying to spot Jer's neighborhood. It was not something I wanted to make a habit of. While shifting into a bird or bat wasn't supposed to mess with your clothes, I always thought they were a little worse for wear after the whole thing. Sorry, but these dresses my mother sent me were just too fine to risk even a wrinkle and God forbid I lose one of my designer shoes.
We arrived at the same town house so maybe Mom had rented it for the duration. I walked in and the same servant took my purse and wrap. Mom had sent along a satin cape lined with gold this time. Even though I didn't feel the cold, it was a nice accessory on a chilly night. Once again, a fire blazed in the fireplace. This time the man waited for me. He played a small instrument, an odd-shaped guitar. The name came to me in a flash. It was a lute. Okay, that was definitely an Olympus thing. I couldn't deny the music was hauntingly beautiful. He looked up and smiled, obviously reading my mind, and set it aside.
"Good evening, Gloriana. I see you wore traditional dress. You look enchanting." He stepped forward and took my hand, kissing the back of it.
Another beautiful man, this one with dark hair that fell onto his forehead. His sapphire eyes gleamed as he studied me. He was in the traditional toga himself, a short one to show off his muscled legs. Yum.
"Good evening. You know my name. May I ask yours?" I eased my hand from his grasp. He was normal temperature. Well, for a human. Still warmer than a vampire. Were they human on Olympus? Of course not. But he was doing a good imitation. He smelled wonderful, like old money. What? Where had that come from?
He laughed. "How delightful. My name is Hermes. And besides music, money is one of my favorite things. Though actually I prefer gold." He walked over to a small table and opened a lacquered box. A rope of gold glimmered inside and he lifted it out and admired it for a moment. "This would look exquisite on you. Here." He slipped it over my head and adjusted it until it nestled between my breasts. "Lovely. You were made to wear gold. It matches your hair. I like your earrings. Eighteen carat?"
"Yes." I'd checked them out when I'd found them tucked in my gift box tonight. Mom was being very generous. You knew I wasn't going to toss her presents in her face, didn't you? This necklace wasn't going back either if I could help it. It felt like several ounces of treasure.
"I see you appreciate value. I like that in a woman." He grinned and picked up his lute again. "Your mother tells me you also appreciate music. Shall I play for you?"
"I'd like that." What in the hell had my mother done? Was she snooping into my past? Yes, I'd had a fling with rock star Israel Caine. And his music was one of the things I'd loved about him. Still loved. Would always love about him. But our affair was over. I could love his music and realize I was meant to be with Jerry. That had been a tough decision but the right one. I sat on the silk sofa in front of the fire while Hermes tuned his instrument. I doubted he'd break out into a rock song. I prepared to be bored.
Uh-oh. I was not bored. He sang in a deep and seductive voice of love. A love that could last forever. Oh, Jerry. A love that would span the test of time. I swayed to his perfect strumming, closing my eyes as his voice wound a spell around my heart and thoughts of Jerry drifted away. I knew this was magic and tried to fight it. But he was so talented and I've always been a sucker for a great song. I still have an Israel Caine shrine in my living room, though it's tinier than it used to be. It made Jerry insanely jealous. Or used to. Now? He probably...
Forget history. I lay back on that silk sofa and just imagined listening to that exquisite music every day. Even when the lute went silent, the song played in my head.
"Gloriana, look at me. We are meant to be together. Your mother tells me you run your own business." Hermes sat beside me, his hip hard against mine. "You have no idea how sexy I find a woman who enjoys commercial endeavors. We could do such great things in Olympus." He toyed with the gold chain, his fingers brushing the curve of my breasts before he let it drop. "I can see us cornering the jewel market. How would you like to be the premier jewelry distributor to all the gods and goddesses on the mountain? Believe me, the men and women there are insatiable when it comes to adornment."
I took a moment to imagine bathing in jewels, becoming the spokesmodel for fabulous accessories. Diamonds, rubies, emeralds. Wait a minute. I wasn't really into such things. Or hadn't been. Of course that was because I'd made my peace with owning CZ studs and passing them off as diamonds long ago.
"You wear fakes?" Hermes shook his head. "Poor Gloriana. You should never have been brought so low, the daughter of such an exalted figure. Your mother must weep each night over your plight."
Now he'd made a serious misstep. My mother weep over me? Ha! She'd forgotten me for centuries. Then she'd chosen a harsh way of showing an interest. Had she come to me and asked for a sit-down? Showered me with presents and then begged me to forgive her? Hell no. She'd poisoned my lover and threatened to keep him locked in a past that didn't include me.
I shoved him aside then jumped up, seriously pissed. "Sorry, Hermes, but the last thing I want to do is make my mother proud. The bitch has done nothing but hurt me. Your music is beautiful and you give great gifts." I should toss the necklace in his face. Or not.
"That little trinket is just the beginning, Gloriana." His smile never wavered he was so confident that his bribery was the way to my heart.
"Did you forget to mention something, Hermes?" I played with the gold between my breasts and saw him lick his lips. "I did a little Internet search before I came tonight. Aren't you...married?"
"Of course. What has that to do with us?" He pulled me into his arms. "It's a political alliance. You poor thing, stuck here on Earth where it is so provincial." He stroked my hair, paralyzing me when I tried to break away. "We are free to love where we wish on Olympus, dear girl. My wife has her own lovers. I have mine."
"I'm not interested in being a member of your harem." I turned my face, his kiss landing on my cheek.
"This hard-to-get ploy is wearing thin, Gloriana." His voice hardened and he grabbed my chin. "Kiss me and let's get on with it."
"This isn't a ploy." His arm was like an iron band around me and I realized he was determined to seal this deal even if he had to use force. I swallowed and let my fangs show, hoping they'd disgust him and make him change his mind. If anything, his hand on my chin pinched harder and his eyes narrowed.
"Vampire. No wonder your mother is so desperate to bring you home."
"This is my home. Earth. Not some mountain where powerful entities marry their relatives and seem to have no morals." My voice shook and I was relieved when he let me step back. I had a feeling the fangs had done that for me.
"I told you. Our marriages are political alliances. Certainly nothing a mundane like you would understand." He looked me up and down. "You would be transformed in Olympus, Gloriana. Beautiful, your teeth perfect. I can't understand this determination to cling to a lifestyle that is so limiting."
"No, I suppose a god would never understand where a mere creature like me is coming from." I headed for the door. "Nothing you can say will make me want to live in Olympus. I'm satisfied with my little shop. I've been making a living and that's enough for me. Thanks a heap." I threw him a kiss then froze. His glare meant I'd crossed a line.
"I offer you everything, give you something very valuable and all I get is a 'Thanks a heap'?" He stomped over to where I stood. I couldn't move or, trust me, I would have been so out of there. I'd recently discovered I could dematerialize. But that was a no go around these Olympus characters.
I didn't like the way he was looking me over. If he thought he'd bought and paid for something with his necklace, he could think again. Too bad I couldn't move my arms and legs. But my mouth still worked.
"Take your stupid necklace back. I don't know where you got the idea that I could be seduced by jewelry, but I'm not that easy." I lifted my chin. Nice that I had control of my head at least.
"Hermes, get away from my daughter." Her voice fell like chips of ice into the room. "Gloriana, you will keep the necklace. As payment for putting up with bad manners."
"If you've been listening, you know your daughter has very harsh thoughts about you. Do you really want to defend her?" Hermes put his hands on his hips. I noticed for the first time all the rings he wore. Amazing that he could play the lute so well; the weight of those gold rings must have made it difficult.
"She has her reasons for hating me right now. We will work through them. But you are treating her like a common whore and I won't have it." She stomped her foot and Hermes's lyre burst into flames.
"You will regret that." He snapped his fingers and my necklace vanished.
"And you will regret that." My mother flung lightning at him, making the hem of his toga smolder.
"You have just made a powerful enemy. Both of you." He turned on his heel then disappeared, leaving a trail of smoke behind him.
"Spoiled brat." My mother frowned after him then turned to me. "I'm sorry about that, Gloriana. I'll buy you another necklace."
"Forget the necklace!" I'd had it with her dates and manipulations. Obviously this candidate of hers had been hard for her to control. Maybe this was the time to put a stop to her plan. "Surely you can see that I'm not right for your gods. And they are married! I'm not interested in the weird love affairs going on up there. Forget this, Mother, and let me be happy with the man of my own choosing." I put a hand on her arm. "Jerry isn't so bad once you get to know him. Look past his fangs to the strong man who took care of me for over four hundred years. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him."
"How you constantly defend him!" She shrugged off my hand. "I swear he has brainwashed you. Is it this way with all vampires and their makers? Is it?"
"No. I don't know." I thought about it. "No, of course not. Many vampires go their separate ways and never see their sires again. Jerry and I stay connected because we love each other."
"And yet you recently had a tryst with a singer, that Israel Caine fellow." She made a very unladylike sound. "Another vampire."
"Yes. I was lonely after Jerry left, and Ray is a dear friend. We agreed it won't happen again." I sat down. If I was going to hear a rehash of all my mistakes, this was going to take a while.
"And you had an affair with your former bodyguard. A" - she shuddered - "shape-shifter, one Rafael Valdez. That was the reason Jeremiah Campbell left Texas for his ancestral home in the first place."
"Yes, Mother." I stared down at my shoes. Tonight's were a beautiful gold leather sandal with a rhinestone buckle. "Rafe and I are the best of friends. I've known him for years. But he knows we're done as far as being lovers goes. I chose Jerry."
"Interesting." She tapped her perfect chin. Tonight she wore a burgundy silk pantsuit with a pink satin and lace camisole underneath. The entire outfit was surprisingly sexy and I wondered if she was meeting a lover of her own later. "So when or if your Jeremiah suddenly remembers everything, he'll have a lot of your transgressions to get past, won't he, Gloriana?"
"Yes. But he told me, before your stunt with Mara and the knife, that he'd decided to forgive me." I got up, tired of looking up at her or down at my shoes, no matter how pretty. "Of course he doesn't know about Ray. At least how far it went."
She smiled. "Are you sure you want him to remember everything, Gloriana? It might be in your best interests to start fresh."
"You've been listening to my conversations, haven't you?" Now I was mad. "Stop it. Right now. I don't need you butting into my business. It's bad enough I have this dating thing to deal with without the thought that you're listening in to every word I say."
"But I have so much to catch up on. Can you blame me?" She touched one of the gold loops dangling from my ears. "I need to know your tastes, your desires. To help me find the perfect man for you, of course. And I will find him. Every misstep brings me closer to the right choice. And, seriously, Gloriana, think about this. Living with a man who has 'forgiven' you can be hell on earth. Do you really want to be your Jeremiah's charity case?" With that she vanished, just like Hermes had done.
"Thanks a heap, Mother." I grabbed my wrap and my purse and walked outside. At least she'd left the limo for me this time. Old Hermes had certainly screwed up, dissing me. I had the feeling there were going to be a few lightning bolts tossed around Olympus later. The thought had me smiling as we tooled through the quiet streets back toward the Campbell town house.
But her last words had wiped the smile off my face. I couldn't deny I'd worried about that very thing. That Jerry would never forget how I'd betrayed him. That he'd never trust me again. And, if he found out I'd been with Ray...? I'd have to start with a clean slate and confess everything if we were ever to have a life together. I couldn't live in fear that my latest indiscretion would come out. But could I do it? Confessing that I'd slept with Ray might just be the final nail in the coffin for my relationship with Jerry.
I glanced at my watch and calculated the time before sunrise and how long it would take me to drive to Campbell Castle. It was almost a relief to realize I would have to wait until the next night to leave Edinburgh. Maybe I was a coward, but facing Jerry and his harridan of a mother was more than I could take right now.
I finally mastered the stick shift on Jerry's Jag and actually enjoyed the drive to the castle. Still, it made me remember how much he'd appreciated taking the winding roads in the hills around Austin in his powerful sports car back in Texas. Tears pricked my eyelids and I had to slow down once to get myself under control. He had to get his memories back. No way could he stay stuck back in the sixteenth century, afraid of the machines he'd loved so much.
I parked and grabbed my suitcase, sure that the excellent security had spotted me long before I got to the door. Of course it swung open before I could ring the bell. Jerry's mother stood in the doorway, her stare telling me all I needed to know. She'd read minds, done something to figure out that this was all my fault. I was number one on her shit list.
"Gloriana. Do come in." She called for a servant and my bag was collected. Mag's smile was brittle as she led the way into the living room. "Jeremiah is out riding. The doctor is with him. You should have heard Bartholomew's complaints. You'd think a true Scot could still sit a horse." She nodded toward Angus. "It's a good thing my husband was wise enough to send for two of the beasts."
"Yes, of course. I think Jerry should have someone with him at all times. He continues to have spells when he's weak." I didn't want to sit yet. Not sure of the dynamics here. No sign of Cait. I'd have given anything for her friendly face. Angus was on his feet, his chivalry too ingrained to let him stay seated when a woman entered the room. Now he settled back into his recliner. The TV was on as usual, a muted soccer game.
"Never thought I'd see the day when the lad had to have a keeper with him." Angus picked up a goblet of blood and took a deep swallow. "He is still weak, Gloriana. And we know now 'tis your doing." He set the glass down with a crack. "What says your bitch of a mum? Is she willing to reverse the spell?"
"I-I -  What have you heard?" I sank down on a chair. Mag moved to stand in front of me.
"No one betrayed your trust, girl. Our Caitie would die before she let a confidence slip. But I could always read her." Mag threw back her long dark hair and put her hands on the armrests, effectively trapping me there. "She's mortified that I found out your secret. That your own mother poisoned our son." Mag's eyes blazed and her fangs were down.
"Then you know that I would never hurt Jeremiah! She did it without my knowledge. An interfering mother. Can you relate to that, Mag?" I concentrated and managed to dematerialize, popping up on the other side of the room.
Mag and Angus gasped, Jerry's mom crossing herself as she whirled around to face me again. "Witchcraft! How did you hide this so well all these years?"
"It's not witchcraft! My mother is from Olympus. I inherited some of her powers but I didn't realize it until recently." I put out my hands. "You don't know what else I can do. Trust me, you don't want to test me."
Mag's eyes narrowed. "Threatening me now?" She advanced to within a foot of me. "Think about this, Gloriana. I believe you hope to get Jeremiah back into your bed." She glanced at Angus. "God knows I have no wish to see this happen, but if it will help him gain his memory back, we are willing to have you here, to work with you."
"Aye, we will. But stop this nonsense. Threats." Angus was on his feet now, advancing to stand next to Mag. He put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "If your mother did this, then we need to know how to appease her. How to get her to take this spell off of our son. What can we do, Gloriana? Or what can you do to get Jeremiah back to himself?"
I took a steadying breath. Sorry, but the dematerializing thing was new and took a lot out of me. It was always a surprise that I could actually pull it off.
"First, quit threatening me." I stomped around Mag and sat again. As usual I felt like a poor relation compared to Jerry's mother in her designer originals in a tiny size. My own outfit had been stuffed in my suitcase way too long. My black pants could have used a wash and my sweater was pilling under the arms. I was all in black. I guess I'd been thinking I could hide if I needed to. Blend into the night. Stupid. I was a strong woman with powers. No hiding for me. I threw back my own hair, which had at least been washed and was cooperating for once.
"We're upset, Gloriana." Angus practically pushed Mag onto the sofa and sat beside her. "Bear with us. Any idea what we can do to appease your mother?"
"I'm working on it. But she can hear everything. Don't disrespect her or she'll never lift this spell she's got him under." I looked significantly at the ceiling.
Mag crossed herself again and reached for a Bible on the table next to her.
"She's not from hell, even if sometimes she does things that make her seem that way. She's a mother like you, Mag, trying to do the best for her child." I sighed when I saw Mag fire up again.
"And Jeremiah's not good enough for you? Is that what she's saying?" She started to get up but Angus held her back with a beefy hand on her knee.
"Now, darlin', what do you think Gloriana's got to say about her mum's opinion? Has Jeremiah ever had any say over yours?" He shook his head. "So what do we do now, my dear? Is there anything Mag and I can do to help this situation?"
I felt the air stir and had a very bad feeling that I knew what was coming. My good hair started rising and, sure enough, a figure appeared in front of Angus's recliner. She smiled and then settled into the leather seat.
"How delightful of you to offer, Laird." My mother crossed her legs and leaned forward. "Wouldn't it be perfect if we could work together to get our children back where they belong?"
I closed my eyes and wished I had Mag's Bible. I wasn't sure if I'd use it for fervent prayer or to throw it at the woman who'd claimed she'd given birth to me. This could not end well.