“It’s okay. It would have been great if you could have made it.”
Camilla sighed, a wistful look on her face.
“She wanted to go so bad,” Noah said from next to me, drawing my attention back to him. “But Mari was just in the hospital for a lung infection. Medical bills were and are piling up. Plus, there was no way I could get off with the short notice.”
“No need to explain. I know you would have dropped everything to be there for her.”
He stared at her, watching. “She’s changed so much in the last year, and I know that’s all due to you.”
“Even I can see the change.” I glanced over at her and smiled. Damn. She was so beautiful when she was smiling and at ease.
“It’s so much better than the sickly skinny, mousy girl who ran from the room as soon as Armando or I entered.”
My teeth mashed together. “After seeing the monster, I can understand why.”
Noah nodded. “She still had the bruises and cuts when she came to live with us.” I turned to him, and his eyes seemed far away. He turned to me, back to the present, and sighed. “Her arm was in a cast, and she favored her left side. It took over a week for me to hear her voice because she wouldn’t speak. Even though she was safe, she was afraid she’d be hit.”
I was reeling, my hand tightening on the bottle. She’d alluded to what Noah said, but never delved into it.
“Fuck… Dealing with walking on eggshells all the time, I have no clue how she could stand to be near my ass.” I blew out a breath. “I was a bomb waiting to explode, only to detonate and recharge.”
He took a sip as he contemplated. “The difference with you is that Lila knows what makes good and what makes evil. She could tell you were good long before she knew it. When she first came to us, her reactions were due to habit rather than fear. Granted, there was fear, but more because of the unknown.”
My gaze flickered back to her. “It’s amazing she had the strength to get herself out. Most don’t.”
“No, they don’t, but Lila’s an observer. That last attack only proved to her that if she didn’t get out, it would be no time before she was in a shallow grave and labeled a runaway. She was never going to get away—he’d never let her.”
The thought sickened me, even more so since she said okay to starting a family. Her hesitancy made more sense—she never thought she’d live long enough for a future. Her youth wasn’t about popularity contests or the clothes she wore. It was about survival. Getting through one day in order to wake in another. Every day since probably felt like borrowed time, so she never dreamed.
It was like Jack said—going through the motions, but not living.
I wanted to go to the jail and beat her f**king stepbrother with a crow bar, bash his skull to a pulp, then drive out to the f**king shack in the middle of nowhere that she grew up in, cut off her father’s balls, and burn it to the ground with him and his bitch wife inside.
The beast liked that idea.
Five babies. Grace miscarried four, and the fifth was lost in the accident. I’d lost five of my own, while he was helping his only one into an early grave.
“She doesn’t talk about that time, at least not in this much detail.”
He nodded. “I figured, but I also felt these were things you need to know. I can tell you know her better than anyone, but at the same time, you’re missing key pieces. Her scars weren’t a one-time thing. Adam is sick and twisted, out for her blood. He would have killed her, if you hadn’t gotten there.”
“I know.” I swallowed and dropped my head a little as my stomach twisted.
“The trial is going to be very rough on her. What I told you is going to come up. Every haunted memory of each hit, slap, threat… It’ll all come out.”
I glanced up from my beer. “You’ve been through this before.”
He stared at me and pursed his lips before letting out a sigh. “I put my father in jail for life.”
My head bobbed up and down. “Lila said you were in a similar situation.”
Noah stared out across the room, then took a sip. “He beat me and my mother all the time. When I was fourteen, he finally hit her so hard it killed her. I lost it. All my life he’d been taller than me, but at that time, we were the same. He was stronger, but I was still able to beat him unconscious.”
“So sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s over and done. Now, I have a beautiful wife and kids. I only wish their grandmother was alive to see them. It’ll get better with time.”
“It’s going to be rough over the next few months, but I can’t wait until the trial is over.”
Noah’s expression changed, and his eyes flickered to Lila, worry filling his face. “The danger isn’t over then.” I tensed, remembering one of the reasons we were here—Noah had news on the Marconi. “They’re still watching you.”
I blew out a breath and pulled on the back of my neck. “Has it been recently?”
Noah nodded. “There are some dirty cops out there that are more interested in money. There’s a big case being launched against him, so he’s got tails on everyone involved in the case.”
“But I’m not involved.”
“No, but who has the most information against him? Who does he still hold a grudge against?”
“Fuck.” I understood then—we would never be safe.
CHAPTER 11
“That’s it, Nathan!” Jared, my instructor, said, slapping his padded, gloved hands together. “Again.”
Left, right, left, elbow, knee—breathe and repeat. Ten times each side. I was counting in the front of my mind, but in the back I was going over everything Noah had told us over dinner.
Dirty cops were being bribed by Marconi to turn a blind eye and destroy evidence in a new case against him. He’d hired men to follow around those involved in the case, including me. The longer I thought about it, the more my anxiety grew, because they could already know about my marriage.
I’d put Lila in danger.
I punched at Jared’s gloved hand, channeling the crippling fear that was starting to creep in. Over and over, harder and harder I threw my body against him. My muscles protested, but I couldn’t stop—I needed the outlet before I spun out. I couldn’t hear anything but the thoughts rattling around in my head.
Camilla sighed, a wistful look on her face.
“She wanted to go so bad,” Noah said from next to me, drawing my attention back to him. “But Mari was just in the hospital for a lung infection. Medical bills were and are piling up. Plus, there was no way I could get off with the short notice.”
“No need to explain. I know you would have dropped everything to be there for her.”
He stared at her, watching. “She’s changed so much in the last year, and I know that’s all due to you.”
“Even I can see the change.” I glanced over at her and smiled. Damn. She was so beautiful when she was smiling and at ease.
“It’s so much better than the sickly skinny, mousy girl who ran from the room as soon as Armando or I entered.”
My teeth mashed together. “After seeing the monster, I can understand why.”
Noah nodded. “She still had the bruises and cuts when she came to live with us.” I turned to him, and his eyes seemed far away. He turned to me, back to the present, and sighed. “Her arm was in a cast, and she favored her left side. It took over a week for me to hear her voice because she wouldn’t speak. Even though she was safe, she was afraid she’d be hit.”
I was reeling, my hand tightening on the bottle. She’d alluded to what Noah said, but never delved into it.
“Fuck… Dealing with walking on eggshells all the time, I have no clue how she could stand to be near my ass.” I blew out a breath. “I was a bomb waiting to explode, only to detonate and recharge.”
He took a sip as he contemplated. “The difference with you is that Lila knows what makes good and what makes evil. She could tell you were good long before she knew it. When she first came to us, her reactions were due to habit rather than fear. Granted, there was fear, but more because of the unknown.”
My gaze flickered back to her. “It’s amazing she had the strength to get herself out. Most don’t.”
“No, they don’t, but Lila’s an observer. That last attack only proved to her that if she didn’t get out, it would be no time before she was in a shallow grave and labeled a runaway. She was never going to get away—he’d never let her.”
The thought sickened me, even more so since she said okay to starting a family. Her hesitancy made more sense—she never thought she’d live long enough for a future. Her youth wasn’t about popularity contests or the clothes she wore. It was about survival. Getting through one day in order to wake in another. Every day since probably felt like borrowed time, so she never dreamed.
It was like Jack said—going through the motions, but not living.
I wanted to go to the jail and beat her f**king stepbrother with a crow bar, bash his skull to a pulp, then drive out to the f**king shack in the middle of nowhere that she grew up in, cut off her father’s balls, and burn it to the ground with him and his bitch wife inside.
The beast liked that idea.
Five babies. Grace miscarried four, and the fifth was lost in the accident. I’d lost five of my own, while he was helping his only one into an early grave.
“She doesn’t talk about that time, at least not in this much detail.”
He nodded. “I figured, but I also felt these were things you need to know. I can tell you know her better than anyone, but at the same time, you’re missing key pieces. Her scars weren’t a one-time thing. Adam is sick and twisted, out for her blood. He would have killed her, if you hadn’t gotten there.”
“I know.” I swallowed and dropped my head a little as my stomach twisted.
“The trial is going to be very rough on her. What I told you is going to come up. Every haunted memory of each hit, slap, threat… It’ll all come out.”
I glanced up from my beer. “You’ve been through this before.”
He stared at me and pursed his lips before letting out a sigh. “I put my father in jail for life.”
My head bobbed up and down. “Lila said you were in a similar situation.”
Noah stared out across the room, then took a sip. “He beat me and my mother all the time. When I was fourteen, he finally hit her so hard it killed her. I lost it. All my life he’d been taller than me, but at that time, we were the same. He was stronger, but I was still able to beat him unconscious.”
“So sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s over and done. Now, I have a beautiful wife and kids. I only wish their grandmother was alive to see them. It’ll get better with time.”
“It’s going to be rough over the next few months, but I can’t wait until the trial is over.”
Noah’s expression changed, and his eyes flickered to Lila, worry filling his face. “The danger isn’t over then.” I tensed, remembering one of the reasons we were here—Noah had news on the Marconi. “They’re still watching you.”
I blew out a breath and pulled on the back of my neck. “Has it been recently?”
Noah nodded. “There are some dirty cops out there that are more interested in money. There’s a big case being launched against him, so he’s got tails on everyone involved in the case.”
“But I’m not involved.”
“No, but who has the most information against him? Who does he still hold a grudge against?”
“Fuck.” I understood then—we would never be safe.
CHAPTER 11
“That’s it, Nathan!” Jared, my instructor, said, slapping his padded, gloved hands together. “Again.”
Left, right, left, elbow, knee—breathe and repeat. Ten times each side. I was counting in the front of my mind, but in the back I was going over everything Noah had told us over dinner.
Dirty cops were being bribed by Marconi to turn a blind eye and destroy evidence in a new case against him. He’d hired men to follow around those involved in the case, including me. The longer I thought about it, the more my anxiety grew, because they could already know about my marriage.
I’d put Lila in danger.
I punched at Jared’s gloved hand, channeling the crippling fear that was starting to creep in. Over and over, harder and harder I threw my body against him. My muscles protested, but I couldn’t stop—I needed the outlet before I spun out. I couldn’t hear anything but the thoughts rattling around in my head.
