Reckless In Love
Page 74
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He’d momentarily soothed her with words and caresses that aroused her past the point where she could think at all, but she’d still woken up with that seed of panic in her stomach growing bigger by the second.
It was just all so much. So fast. A half-dozen worries spiraled around and around inside her head at once.
I don’t know how to stop worrying about everything. That we’re too different. That what we have now could never last outside of this fairy tale. That all I’m doing is repeating my parents’ mistakes and that one day you’ll resent me the way my mother resented my father, for clipping your wings with all my spreadsheets and business plans.
Drew had been so open and honest with her, and Ashley had tried to be just as honest with him...at least until last night, when she hadn’t confessed her love for him. She hated the feeling that she’d not only lied to his family about them, but that she was also now lying to Drew by not telling him exactly how she felt about him.
Somehow, she needed to get up the nerve to tell him everything—all her fears, all her worries. Right here, right now, in the slushie shack on the beach. But Drew’s phone dinged before she could stop spinning and panicking long enough to speak.
“It’s got to be James.” Drew pulled out his phone and looked at the message. “He needs us to come to the front of the building right away. He’s got a car waiting to get us out of here safely.” He took her hand, and thirty seconds later, they were in the backseat of a black town car with James.
“Sorry about that, boss,” James said, looking none too pleased with the situation. “I should have been more on top of things before it all went to hell. The area wasn’t nearly secure enough from the start.”
“We all should have been better prepared, and we’ll make sure we are next time,” Drew said. “Everyone okay out there?”
“Everyone’s fine, thank God.”
“We need to move the rest of the interview inside,” Drew said.
“Already on it,” James confirmed.
Drew was still holding her hand, but James didn’t make a big deal out of it, didn’t stare at them or raise his eyebrows. She knew it had to be because their relationship wasn’t a surprise to him in any way. Drew had said his family had guessed last night, as well. Which meant that she was the only one fooling herself about keeping things “private.” Pretty soon, the entire world was bound to know.
Was she ready for that?
“After your interviews,” James said, “you’ve got lunch with the mayor in support of the Music for Miami foundation, and then your recording session will take you through to your show tonight.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, James.” Drew turned to her. “You look like you got a little too much sun. Your skin is flushed.”
“It doesn’t take much for me to burn,” she said, but that wasn’t the entire reason she was so flushed. It was all the conflicted questions burning inside of her, too. Questions she desperately wished she could already have figured out the answers to.
They pulled up outside a high-rise, and when James got out to open the door, Drew pressed a kiss to her lips and whispered, “I love you,” before slowly letting go of her hand and heading out of the car to do his very demanding job.
He’d said I love you again and again last night, but hearing the three little words in the light of a new day was at once the most beautiful thing Ashley had ever heard...and the most terrifying.
She wasn’t at all afraid about her physical safety while on tour, not when Drew and his team went out of their way to make sure no harm came to her. She wasn’t sure her heart would survive the tour. Because she loved him so much she actually felt like it was going to burst all the way out of her chest.
She’d always gone to her dad for help when she was confused about something at school. But this wasn’t a math problem. Wasn’t an English paper she needed help outlining. This was love and sex—the two things she was absolutely certain her father couldn’t handle talking about. Especially with Drew Morrison associated with both of them.
But she would burst if she didn’t talk to someone soon. Not just anyone, but someone who knew her really well. And someone who understood exactly what it was like to be in a relationship with someone so different from them.
So when Drew headed into the studio to record for a few hours before his show, Ashley told James she was going to run some errands. Though she hated to miss hearing Drew work on his new songs, there was something she needed to do—and someone she needed to see—before she lost it completely.
Her mom.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Mom.”
Ashley was taken completely by surprise by the tears that began to fall when she got out of the taxi and ran into her mother’s arms. Tears she couldn’t keep from falling. Partly because she was so confused about her relationship with Drew...and partly because it had been so long since her mother had held her like this.
“Oh honey, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Ashley tried to get a grip as she wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “I don’t know why I waited this long to come see you.”
“You needed time.”
Her mother had always been like that, she suddenly realized. So forgiving. So accepting. Ashley was the one who had been unwilling to accept or forgive. She’d been so angry with her mother for leaving her and her father that she had never really appreciated just how hard her mother had tried to stay in the marriage for fifteen years.
It was just all so much. So fast. A half-dozen worries spiraled around and around inside her head at once.
I don’t know how to stop worrying about everything. That we’re too different. That what we have now could never last outside of this fairy tale. That all I’m doing is repeating my parents’ mistakes and that one day you’ll resent me the way my mother resented my father, for clipping your wings with all my spreadsheets and business plans.
Drew had been so open and honest with her, and Ashley had tried to be just as honest with him...at least until last night, when she hadn’t confessed her love for him. She hated the feeling that she’d not only lied to his family about them, but that she was also now lying to Drew by not telling him exactly how she felt about him.
Somehow, she needed to get up the nerve to tell him everything—all her fears, all her worries. Right here, right now, in the slushie shack on the beach. But Drew’s phone dinged before she could stop spinning and panicking long enough to speak.
“It’s got to be James.” Drew pulled out his phone and looked at the message. “He needs us to come to the front of the building right away. He’s got a car waiting to get us out of here safely.” He took her hand, and thirty seconds later, they were in the backseat of a black town car with James.
“Sorry about that, boss,” James said, looking none too pleased with the situation. “I should have been more on top of things before it all went to hell. The area wasn’t nearly secure enough from the start.”
“We all should have been better prepared, and we’ll make sure we are next time,” Drew said. “Everyone okay out there?”
“Everyone’s fine, thank God.”
“We need to move the rest of the interview inside,” Drew said.
“Already on it,” James confirmed.
Drew was still holding her hand, but James didn’t make a big deal out of it, didn’t stare at them or raise his eyebrows. She knew it had to be because their relationship wasn’t a surprise to him in any way. Drew had said his family had guessed last night, as well. Which meant that she was the only one fooling herself about keeping things “private.” Pretty soon, the entire world was bound to know.
Was she ready for that?
“After your interviews,” James said, “you’ve got lunch with the mayor in support of the Music for Miami foundation, and then your recording session will take you through to your show tonight.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, James.” Drew turned to her. “You look like you got a little too much sun. Your skin is flushed.”
“It doesn’t take much for me to burn,” she said, but that wasn’t the entire reason she was so flushed. It was all the conflicted questions burning inside of her, too. Questions she desperately wished she could already have figured out the answers to.
They pulled up outside a high-rise, and when James got out to open the door, Drew pressed a kiss to her lips and whispered, “I love you,” before slowly letting go of her hand and heading out of the car to do his very demanding job.
He’d said I love you again and again last night, but hearing the three little words in the light of a new day was at once the most beautiful thing Ashley had ever heard...and the most terrifying.
She wasn’t at all afraid about her physical safety while on tour, not when Drew and his team went out of their way to make sure no harm came to her. She wasn’t sure her heart would survive the tour. Because she loved him so much she actually felt like it was going to burst all the way out of her chest.
She’d always gone to her dad for help when she was confused about something at school. But this wasn’t a math problem. Wasn’t an English paper she needed help outlining. This was love and sex—the two things she was absolutely certain her father couldn’t handle talking about. Especially with Drew Morrison associated with both of them.
But she would burst if she didn’t talk to someone soon. Not just anyone, but someone who knew her really well. And someone who understood exactly what it was like to be in a relationship with someone so different from them.
So when Drew headed into the studio to record for a few hours before his show, Ashley told James she was going to run some errands. Though she hated to miss hearing Drew work on his new songs, there was something she needed to do—and someone she needed to see—before she lost it completely.
Her mom.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Mom.”
Ashley was taken completely by surprise by the tears that began to fall when she got out of the taxi and ran into her mother’s arms. Tears she couldn’t keep from falling. Partly because she was so confused about her relationship with Drew...and partly because it had been so long since her mother had held her like this.
“Oh honey, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” Ashley tried to get a grip as she wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “I don’t know why I waited this long to come see you.”
“You needed time.”
Her mother had always been like that, she suddenly realized. So forgiving. So accepting. Ashley was the one who had been unwilling to accept or forgive. She’d been so angry with her mother for leaving her and her father that she had never really appreciated just how hard her mother had tried to stay in the marriage for fifteen years.
