Recklessly Royal
Page 61
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“What magazines?” I took a deep breath.
“Stylish and Celeb First.” She shrugged. “They’re releasing them tomorrow.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before now?” I glared at her.
“I thought you knew.”
Deep breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Another breath. My chest hurt. And another shallower breath. “How would I know if they contacted you?”
“The e-mail said they were going to offer you the chance to buy the pictures from them.”
“I can’t do that.” My words sounded raspy. I looked at David. This touched him as well. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“It’s okay. I’m more worried about how this will affect you.” He touched my cheek.
“If I pay their blackmail money, it will only get worse.”
“It’s just a kiss, Cathy.” David cupped my cheek. “It’s not like what happened with your brother.”
So he did know.
The air left my lungs and I fought to catch my breath. My hands started shaking and tears rushed to my eyes. It was like catching the flu in a second flat and I had no way of getting better. In that moment I felt like I was dying. It was as if my worst nightmare had just jumped out of a closet and was dragging me down to the pits of hell and no one, especially myself, could save me.
David was watching me with worried eyes, but Tabitha just looked interested. As if this whole thing was an amusing story—that my reaction was overboard and insane. The derision in her gaze amplified that feeling of helplessness and I gasped loudly for air.
“Cathy?” David covered my shoulders with his hands.
“I can’t. I can’t do that.” I tried to take a shallow breath and then another. I meant paying off the vultures. “It’s us. Us. Our moment and they’re going to publish the photos in trashy magazines like they’re p**n .” I couldn’t get enough air and I was starting to feel light-headed. “I can’t pay them off. I know this. I know it. I can’t but they’ll—”
“Take a deep breath.” His eyes focused on mine and didn’t flinch away when a tear ran down my cheek.
“I can’t. I can’t breathe.” I sniffed and covered my face with my hands. My breath rattled in my chest. The only thing I could think, the only words I could say, were I can’t.
“Take us back to D’Lynsal.” David looked at Tabitha.
“She’s supposed to be at the auction.” Tabitha shook her head. “And Yvette is expecting her.” She picked up a wineglass. “Here, drink this.”
I shook my head violently and for a brief moment thought that I was going to be sick all over David. The feeling of being trapped, suffocated was almost overwhelming. Like I was drowning, but there was no water, no way to pull me out.
“It’s going to be fine, Cathy. Do you hear me?” David squeezed my shoulders. “I’m right here with you. We’re in this together. Do you understand?”
I shook my head no. I didn’t feel like anyone was with me. I was alone in a way I’d never been alone before—singled out in the media for the sole intent of being embarrassed; for someone’s perverted gratification. The only thing I knew was that there was no way I could walk out on that red carpet and face those vultures.
“I can’t.” The tears were running down my face, and the embarrassment that came with them only made it worse.
“Cathy, you’re having a panic attack.” He lifted my chin so I could see his face. “My sister has them—has since she was a little girl. You’re going to be okay.”
That made sense, but it didn’t help. Knowing what was happening didn’t stop it from happening. It just made me feel worse that I couldn’t control it.
“Maybe I have a Xanax.” Tabitha started looking through her purse. “You’ll be fine and ready in no time. Fashionably late.”
“No!” I shouted the word. The last thing I wanted was a pill that had been floating around in Tabitha’s bag. If the doctor had prescribed it for me, then that would be a different matter, but I wasn’t taking medicine that wasn’t mine. David let go of me. I thought I had scared him, but instead he rolled down the window between the back and the driver.
“We need to go back to D’Lynsal. The princess isn’t feeling well. Hurry, please.”
Mark looked back through the window at me and frowned. “Princess, are you hurt? Can I help?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. Each time I opened my mouth the crying became worse. It was pictures—just pictures—and yet I felt as if my life was over. How had Alex handled the pictures sold of him having sex? He was so much stronger than I.
“This is a nightmare.” Tabitha started typing on her phone and I had to fight the impulse to take it from her and throw it out the window. She didn’t know what a nightmare was and if she thought I was being a diva now, she had no idea what I could do.
“Tabitha.” David’s voice shook with anger and I was glad it wasn’t directed at me. “I haven’t been around royalty long, but from what I know, your job is to take care of Cathy. And right now, your priorities are f**ked up.”
“I am taking care of Cathy.” She frowned. “This could hurt her image. And the pictures aren’t that bad. In fact, it will make her even more interesting. People will love that she’s dating Sam’s best friend. It will show she’s just as desirable as her brothers.”
“Stylish and Celeb First.” She shrugged. “They’re releasing them tomorrow.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before now?” I glared at her.
“I thought you knew.”
Deep breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Another breath. My chest hurt. And another shallower breath. “How would I know if they contacted you?”
“The e-mail said they were going to offer you the chance to buy the pictures from them.”
“I can’t do that.” My words sounded raspy. I looked at David. This touched him as well. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“It’s okay. I’m more worried about how this will affect you.” He touched my cheek.
“If I pay their blackmail money, it will only get worse.”
“It’s just a kiss, Cathy.” David cupped my cheek. “It’s not like what happened with your brother.”
So he did know.
The air left my lungs and I fought to catch my breath. My hands started shaking and tears rushed to my eyes. It was like catching the flu in a second flat and I had no way of getting better. In that moment I felt like I was dying. It was as if my worst nightmare had just jumped out of a closet and was dragging me down to the pits of hell and no one, especially myself, could save me.
David was watching me with worried eyes, but Tabitha just looked interested. As if this whole thing was an amusing story—that my reaction was overboard and insane. The derision in her gaze amplified that feeling of helplessness and I gasped loudly for air.
“Cathy?” David covered my shoulders with his hands.
“I can’t. I can’t do that.” I tried to take a shallow breath and then another. I meant paying off the vultures. “It’s us. Us. Our moment and they’re going to publish the photos in trashy magazines like they’re p**n .” I couldn’t get enough air and I was starting to feel light-headed. “I can’t pay them off. I know this. I know it. I can’t but they’ll—”
“Take a deep breath.” His eyes focused on mine and didn’t flinch away when a tear ran down my cheek.
“I can’t. I can’t breathe.” I sniffed and covered my face with my hands. My breath rattled in my chest. The only thing I could think, the only words I could say, were I can’t.
“Take us back to D’Lynsal.” David looked at Tabitha.
“She’s supposed to be at the auction.” Tabitha shook her head. “And Yvette is expecting her.” She picked up a wineglass. “Here, drink this.”
I shook my head violently and for a brief moment thought that I was going to be sick all over David. The feeling of being trapped, suffocated was almost overwhelming. Like I was drowning, but there was no water, no way to pull me out.
“It’s going to be fine, Cathy. Do you hear me?” David squeezed my shoulders. “I’m right here with you. We’re in this together. Do you understand?”
I shook my head no. I didn’t feel like anyone was with me. I was alone in a way I’d never been alone before—singled out in the media for the sole intent of being embarrassed; for someone’s perverted gratification. The only thing I knew was that there was no way I could walk out on that red carpet and face those vultures.
“I can’t.” The tears were running down my face, and the embarrassment that came with them only made it worse.
“Cathy, you’re having a panic attack.” He lifted my chin so I could see his face. “My sister has them—has since she was a little girl. You’re going to be okay.”
That made sense, but it didn’t help. Knowing what was happening didn’t stop it from happening. It just made me feel worse that I couldn’t control it.
“Maybe I have a Xanax.” Tabitha started looking through her purse. “You’ll be fine and ready in no time. Fashionably late.”
“No!” I shouted the word. The last thing I wanted was a pill that had been floating around in Tabitha’s bag. If the doctor had prescribed it for me, then that would be a different matter, but I wasn’t taking medicine that wasn’t mine. David let go of me. I thought I had scared him, but instead he rolled down the window between the back and the driver.
“We need to go back to D’Lynsal. The princess isn’t feeling well. Hurry, please.”
Mark looked back through the window at me and frowned. “Princess, are you hurt? Can I help?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. Each time I opened my mouth the crying became worse. It was pictures—just pictures—and yet I felt as if my life was over. How had Alex handled the pictures sold of him having sex? He was so much stronger than I.
“This is a nightmare.” Tabitha started typing on her phone and I had to fight the impulse to take it from her and throw it out the window. She didn’t know what a nightmare was and if she thought I was being a diva now, she had no idea what I could do.
“Tabitha.” David’s voice shook with anger and I was glad it wasn’t directed at me. “I haven’t been around royalty long, but from what I know, your job is to take care of Cathy. And right now, your priorities are f**ked up.”
“I am taking care of Cathy.” She frowned. “This could hurt her image. And the pictures aren’t that bad. In fact, it will make her even more interesting. People will love that she’s dating Sam’s best friend. It will show she’s just as desirable as her brothers.”
