“This is all so unnecessary…unless it’s what you absolutely want.”
“It’s completely necessary,” Dylan said.
“You’re my only living heir,” she reminded him. “And I’m loaded.”
“I make my own way if I can,” he said. “For all I know, you’ll get pissed off at me for some reason and give it all to your cat. Then where would I be?”
“I don’t have a cat…”
“Yet…”
It wasn’t exactly an argument; it was more of an examination of boundaries. He appreciated her in many ways, was grateful for all she’d done for him, understood that after all her many years of hard work she was more than a little comfortable. But she was seventy-six. With any luck she would live to be a hundred and six. Besides, these were the boundaries she’d pounded into his head during their retreat to Payne, that he wasn’t a little god who should have his way paid just because of some sense of entitlement.
She taught him to get over himself.
“I have only a couple of concerns about doing a movie,” he said. “One is that I’ll enjoy the acting and despise all the ancillary bullshit, not the least of which is my mother, stepbrothers and -sisters and half brothers and sisters moving in on me with requests. I don’t want to get hooked, which will have me putting up with that kind of B.S. again and again. And the other is you thinking it’s a mistake.”
She shook her head. “First of all, I think you’re past being the vulnerable kid star who doesn’t really understand what’s happening. Second, I’m an actor,” she said. “I still work because I love it and also despise a lot of the ancillary bullshit. I do it because I want to. Millions of people who are trying to just get a part in a commercial would kill me to have a tenth of the opportunity I have had, and believe me, I don’t take that for granted. But, Dylan, when I decide to take on a part, I’m happy. If this makes you unhappy, find another way.”
“It’s probably going to be six months of shooting,” he said. “And it’s a frightening amount of money.”
“How are you handling the family?” she asked.
“I’ve said no, I’ve changed my cell number, I’m ignoring them, but I admit, they make it hard. They’re everywhere, it seems.”
“And your mother?”
“Cherise is the hardest to ignore…” She was his mother. He hated her and loved her. That she would use him was so painful. And so predictable.
“Yes, I can imagine,” Adele said. “So, when do you leave for Montana?”
“In a few days. I’ll fly back to Northern California where I left my bike. I’ve decided to rent a truck and haul the bike home. After the last few weeks, I don’t think I’m up to a long-distance ride on the Harley.”
“How long will the drive take you?” she asked.
“A couple of days,” he said. “But I have a little unfinished business in Humboldt County…”
She lifted a thin, meticulously honey-colored brow and said, “Indeed?”
Oh, indeed.
Dylan had to see her once more. Katie. She didn’t want him, he got that. He’d called her, given her the new number, asked her to call and she hadn’t—he got the message. His own fault, he admitted. And she didn’t think their lives matched; didn’t want to get mixed up with some Hollywood kid and he couldn’t blame her. But it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel complete. “There’s a girl,” he told Adele. “She doesn’t want to be involved with an actor. Actors have rotten reputations for little things like fidelity. But I like her. I’m going to give her one more chance to reject me. I just haven’t suffered enough yet.”
“Listen, Dylan, there are lots of ordinary families who grapple with lousy relationships and plenty of actors who marry for the long-term, quite happily.”
“I know. I just want to stop in Humboldt County and see her, make sure she’s doing fine, that she feels the same way she did when I left—that she isn’t interested. Because I think if we had a little time…”
But they didn’t have time.
No matter how hard it was, no matter how tempted he was by her, he had to try to make her understand what he was feeling. He wasn’t just some irresponsible pretty boy. A gentleman would find a way to say, “You’re important and I’m going to miss you.” To leave as though nothing that happened between them mattered, that was just wrong. He was going to fix that. Even if he was the last person she wanted to see right now.
Then he’d go back to Payne, lock down the little airport, leaving Lang, Sue Ann and Stu in charge, and he’d go make a movie. Why not? He’d save his company and he’d do it himself, not the way his extended family would have done it, not by taking handouts.
First mission—see Katie and apologize for abandoning her on a moment’s notice.
He dreaded it.
He couldn’t wait.
He was scared to death.
When he got back to Humboldt County a couple of days later, he rented a truck, loaded his Harley in the back and drove to Virgin River. He stopped off at Jack’s for a beer and a meal, killing time and bolstering his courage before facing her. He was afraid if she cried he’d never be able to leave, to do what he had to do. If she was furious with his unannounced appearance, it might take him a lifetime to convince her he wasn’t a low-life loser to treat her as he had and he’d never be able to leave her. If she threw her arms around him…yeah, he’d never be able to leave her.
He had a second beer and barely touched his dinner.
Katie visited Mel Sheridan, the friendly neighborhood midwife, who confirmed what she already knew—pregnant. In addition to an appointment for an ultrasound in Grace Valley to determine an accurate due date and a bunch of vitamins, Mel insisted on running a battery of tests for STDs. This was a very sensible precaution under the circumstances.
“Failed condom?” Katie asked Mel. “Seriously?”
“It’s been known to happen,” Mel said. “Or maybe brief contact before or after the condom… Whatever it was, Katie, it’s the real deal. Do we need to have a discussion of your options?”
“What options?” Katie asked.
“Are you planning on having the baby? Because I don’t—”
“Yes,” Katie said without hesitation.
“And the father?” Mel asked.
“Long gone,” Katie said.
“I’m sorry. I take that to mean he doesn’t know?”
Katie shook her head.
“Do you want him to know?”
“What’s the difference?” she asked with a shrug.
“There’s the issue of financial support,” Mel said. “The only time I don’t recommend pursuing that is in cases of abuse or neglect or… Katie, you didn’t make this baby alone and you don’t have to shoulder all the responsibility alone. And there’s the fact that he deserves to know, unless telling him endangers you or the child.”
She took a deep breath. Dylan was passionate about not wanting children, but he was a good man. But what kind of father would a man like that make? Probably just an absent one. She was better off on her own. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “I appreciate your help.” Then she bit her lower lip—but he was wonderful with her boys.
“If there’s anything I can do…”
“I don’t think there’s anything more right now.” Because she was going to tell her brother and Leslie. It was early, yes. And maybe it being early, Conner would stop twitching by the time she began to show.
A couple of days later, Katie asked Leslie and Conner if they could come out to the cabin after work for a beer. They sat on the porch and kept an eye on the monkeys on the swing set. Katie had tea while Leslie and Conner had cold beer.
“It really is beautiful out here,” Leslie said. “So peaceful.”
“I’m going to need something that’s not in the woods, I think,” Katie said.
“I was afraid you might be nervous out here,” Conner said. “You can’t see your neighbors, the boys are attracted to the forest and could get lost, you had a bear wandering around here…”
Do it just like a Band-Aid, Katie thought. Rip it off, get it over with. “I’m pregnant.”
They both just looked at her in stunned disbelief.
“Talk about a conversation stopper,” she said. “Total accident. Obviously my protection failed. But it is what it is. So, my timeline for finding a job, a house in a regular neighborhood with neighbors, near whatever school we decide on just got a lot shorter. Of course, I’d like it to be close to you guys, but I understand there just might not be anything available in your neighborhood. Who do you think is the best person to talk to about that? About available housing?”
They both just stared at her for a moment. Finally it was Conner who said, “Pregnant.”
“Yep. Of course not very—it’s early. I don’t have an official due date because I’m so bad about keeping track of things, but there’s only been one…” She cleared her throat. “It’s early. That explains not feeling very well for the past couple of weeks…” That, and a battered heart. “But there was no point in waiting to tell you. Hopefully by the time I start feeling better you’ll stop reeling from the news and maybe the boys and I can find a more suitable place to live before the start of school. Before I get, you know, enormous. Because I’m going to have to hunker down and nest. I think I’ll be due around March first next year. But that’s just a guess. And if there’s a God, it’s only one.”
Conner leaned toward her, elbows on his knees. “Katie…”
“There’s not a whole lot more to say, Conner. As you know, it was one-hundred-percent consensual, even though it wasn’t planned. And yes, I’m on my own. I know it’s asking a lot, that I’ve already asked too much of you, but I hope you’ll be supportive. I’ll take care of myself, I promise. I just want your emotional support, that’s all.”
Leslie put her hand on Conner’s forearm. “Of course we’ll do everything we can, Katie. Anything you need.”
“He doesn’t know?” Conner asked.
“There’s no point, Conner. This was just a stop for Dylan and he’s moved on. Dylan was not cut out to be a family man.”
“Fine,” Conner said with his teeth locked together in the back of his mouth. “That’s fine. But you have to tell him. He can write a check. You shouldn’t have to carry the whole load.”
“Let’s not go there yet,” she said. “It might not seem so practical when he demands joint custody or something. I’d like some time to think about all the possible repercussions. And if it’s not too much to ask, can we keep this between us for now?”
“Are you all right, Katie?” Leslie asked.
“Oh, besides that tired-all-the-time thing and getting a little green around the gills sometimes, I’m the picture of health. I’ll admit I’m a little upside down emotionally, but that’ll pass. And jeez, Conner, at least he didn’t die. Huh?”
Conner’s fierce expression didn’t ease for a long time, but just the same Katie forced the conversation to houses, taking delivery of stored household goods from her old house in Sacramento, possible jobs Katie might be able to handle while pregnant. Conner was still kicking around the idea of a hardware store, smaller than the one they owned in Sacramento, but if he did open one nearby, that would solve a lot of problems.
As Conner and Leslie were leaving, Conner pulled Katie into his arms and held her close. “You never have to ask me to stand by you. No matter what happens in our lives, we always stand by each other.”
“It’s completely necessary,” Dylan said.
“You’re my only living heir,” she reminded him. “And I’m loaded.”
“I make my own way if I can,” he said. “For all I know, you’ll get pissed off at me for some reason and give it all to your cat. Then where would I be?”
“I don’t have a cat…”
“Yet…”
It wasn’t exactly an argument; it was more of an examination of boundaries. He appreciated her in many ways, was grateful for all she’d done for him, understood that after all her many years of hard work she was more than a little comfortable. But she was seventy-six. With any luck she would live to be a hundred and six. Besides, these were the boundaries she’d pounded into his head during their retreat to Payne, that he wasn’t a little god who should have his way paid just because of some sense of entitlement.
She taught him to get over himself.
“I have only a couple of concerns about doing a movie,” he said. “One is that I’ll enjoy the acting and despise all the ancillary bullshit, not the least of which is my mother, stepbrothers and -sisters and half brothers and sisters moving in on me with requests. I don’t want to get hooked, which will have me putting up with that kind of B.S. again and again. And the other is you thinking it’s a mistake.”
She shook her head. “First of all, I think you’re past being the vulnerable kid star who doesn’t really understand what’s happening. Second, I’m an actor,” she said. “I still work because I love it and also despise a lot of the ancillary bullshit. I do it because I want to. Millions of people who are trying to just get a part in a commercial would kill me to have a tenth of the opportunity I have had, and believe me, I don’t take that for granted. But, Dylan, when I decide to take on a part, I’m happy. If this makes you unhappy, find another way.”
“It’s probably going to be six months of shooting,” he said. “And it’s a frightening amount of money.”
“How are you handling the family?” she asked.
“I’ve said no, I’ve changed my cell number, I’m ignoring them, but I admit, they make it hard. They’re everywhere, it seems.”
“And your mother?”
“Cherise is the hardest to ignore…” She was his mother. He hated her and loved her. That she would use him was so painful. And so predictable.
“Yes, I can imagine,” Adele said. “So, when do you leave for Montana?”
“In a few days. I’ll fly back to Northern California where I left my bike. I’ve decided to rent a truck and haul the bike home. After the last few weeks, I don’t think I’m up to a long-distance ride on the Harley.”
“How long will the drive take you?” she asked.
“A couple of days,” he said. “But I have a little unfinished business in Humboldt County…”
She lifted a thin, meticulously honey-colored brow and said, “Indeed?”
Oh, indeed.
Dylan had to see her once more. Katie. She didn’t want him, he got that. He’d called her, given her the new number, asked her to call and she hadn’t—he got the message. His own fault, he admitted. And she didn’t think their lives matched; didn’t want to get mixed up with some Hollywood kid and he couldn’t blame her. But it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel complete. “There’s a girl,” he told Adele. “She doesn’t want to be involved with an actor. Actors have rotten reputations for little things like fidelity. But I like her. I’m going to give her one more chance to reject me. I just haven’t suffered enough yet.”
“Listen, Dylan, there are lots of ordinary families who grapple with lousy relationships and plenty of actors who marry for the long-term, quite happily.”
“I know. I just want to stop in Humboldt County and see her, make sure she’s doing fine, that she feels the same way she did when I left—that she isn’t interested. Because I think if we had a little time…”
But they didn’t have time.
No matter how hard it was, no matter how tempted he was by her, he had to try to make her understand what he was feeling. He wasn’t just some irresponsible pretty boy. A gentleman would find a way to say, “You’re important and I’m going to miss you.” To leave as though nothing that happened between them mattered, that was just wrong. He was going to fix that. Even if he was the last person she wanted to see right now.
Then he’d go back to Payne, lock down the little airport, leaving Lang, Sue Ann and Stu in charge, and he’d go make a movie. Why not? He’d save his company and he’d do it himself, not the way his extended family would have done it, not by taking handouts.
First mission—see Katie and apologize for abandoning her on a moment’s notice.
He dreaded it.
He couldn’t wait.
He was scared to death.
When he got back to Humboldt County a couple of days later, he rented a truck, loaded his Harley in the back and drove to Virgin River. He stopped off at Jack’s for a beer and a meal, killing time and bolstering his courage before facing her. He was afraid if she cried he’d never be able to leave, to do what he had to do. If she was furious with his unannounced appearance, it might take him a lifetime to convince her he wasn’t a low-life loser to treat her as he had and he’d never be able to leave her. If she threw her arms around him…yeah, he’d never be able to leave her.
He had a second beer and barely touched his dinner.
Katie visited Mel Sheridan, the friendly neighborhood midwife, who confirmed what she already knew—pregnant. In addition to an appointment for an ultrasound in Grace Valley to determine an accurate due date and a bunch of vitamins, Mel insisted on running a battery of tests for STDs. This was a very sensible precaution under the circumstances.
“Failed condom?” Katie asked Mel. “Seriously?”
“It’s been known to happen,” Mel said. “Or maybe brief contact before or after the condom… Whatever it was, Katie, it’s the real deal. Do we need to have a discussion of your options?”
“What options?” Katie asked.
“Are you planning on having the baby? Because I don’t—”
“Yes,” Katie said without hesitation.
“And the father?” Mel asked.
“Long gone,” Katie said.
“I’m sorry. I take that to mean he doesn’t know?”
Katie shook her head.
“Do you want him to know?”
“What’s the difference?” she asked with a shrug.
“There’s the issue of financial support,” Mel said. “The only time I don’t recommend pursuing that is in cases of abuse or neglect or… Katie, you didn’t make this baby alone and you don’t have to shoulder all the responsibility alone. And there’s the fact that he deserves to know, unless telling him endangers you or the child.”
She took a deep breath. Dylan was passionate about not wanting children, but he was a good man. But what kind of father would a man like that make? Probably just an absent one. She was better off on her own. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “I appreciate your help.” Then she bit her lower lip—but he was wonderful with her boys.
“If there’s anything I can do…”
“I don’t think there’s anything more right now.” Because she was going to tell her brother and Leslie. It was early, yes. And maybe it being early, Conner would stop twitching by the time she began to show.
A couple of days later, Katie asked Leslie and Conner if they could come out to the cabin after work for a beer. They sat on the porch and kept an eye on the monkeys on the swing set. Katie had tea while Leslie and Conner had cold beer.
“It really is beautiful out here,” Leslie said. “So peaceful.”
“I’m going to need something that’s not in the woods, I think,” Katie said.
“I was afraid you might be nervous out here,” Conner said. “You can’t see your neighbors, the boys are attracted to the forest and could get lost, you had a bear wandering around here…”
Do it just like a Band-Aid, Katie thought. Rip it off, get it over with. “I’m pregnant.”
They both just looked at her in stunned disbelief.
“Talk about a conversation stopper,” she said. “Total accident. Obviously my protection failed. But it is what it is. So, my timeline for finding a job, a house in a regular neighborhood with neighbors, near whatever school we decide on just got a lot shorter. Of course, I’d like it to be close to you guys, but I understand there just might not be anything available in your neighborhood. Who do you think is the best person to talk to about that? About available housing?”
They both just stared at her for a moment. Finally it was Conner who said, “Pregnant.”
“Yep. Of course not very—it’s early. I don’t have an official due date because I’m so bad about keeping track of things, but there’s only been one…” She cleared her throat. “It’s early. That explains not feeling very well for the past couple of weeks…” That, and a battered heart. “But there was no point in waiting to tell you. Hopefully by the time I start feeling better you’ll stop reeling from the news and maybe the boys and I can find a more suitable place to live before the start of school. Before I get, you know, enormous. Because I’m going to have to hunker down and nest. I think I’ll be due around March first next year. But that’s just a guess. And if there’s a God, it’s only one.”
Conner leaned toward her, elbows on his knees. “Katie…”
“There’s not a whole lot more to say, Conner. As you know, it was one-hundred-percent consensual, even though it wasn’t planned. And yes, I’m on my own. I know it’s asking a lot, that I’ve already asked too much of you, but I hope you’ll be supportive. I’ll take care of myself, I promise. I just want your emotional support, that’s all.”
Leslie put her hand on Conner’s forearm. “Of course we’ll do everything we can, Katie. Anything you need.”
“He doesn’t know?” Conner asked.
“There’s no point, Conner. This was just a stop for Dylan and he’s moved on. Dylan was not cut out to be a family man.”
“Fine,” Conner said with his teeth locked together in the back of his mouth. “That’s fine. But you have to tell him. He can write a check. You shouldn’t have to carry the whole load.”
“Let’s not go there yet,” she said. “It might not seem so practical when he demands joint custody or something. I’d like some time to think about all the possible repercussions. And if it’s not too much to ask, can we keep this between us for now?”
“Are you all right, Katie?” Leslie asked.
“Oh, besides that tired-all-the-time thing and getting a little green around the gills sometimes, I’m the picture of health. I’ll admit I’m a little upside down emotionally, but that’ll pass. And jeez, Conner, at least he didn’t die. Huh?”
Conner’s fierce expression didn’t ease for a long time, but just the same Katie forced the conversation to houses, taking delivery of stored household goods from her old house in Sacramento, possible jobs Katie might be able to handle while pregnant. Conner was still kicking around the idea of a hardware store, smaller than the one they owned in Sacramento, but if he did open one nearby, that would solve a lot of problems.
As Conner and Leslie were leaving, Conner pulled Katie into his arms and held her close. “You never have to ask me to stand by you. No matter what happens in our lives, we always stand by each other.”
