I arched a brow as I sat with him. “You look comfortable there.”
“You do that to me,” he murmured pensively. He appeared to have something on his mind tonight.
“Do what to you?”
He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his chin in one hand. “Being around you calms me, baby.” His eyes held mine, and time stood still for a moment.
Memories rushed me.
Kick filled so many memories of mine, and his voice and presence triggered an avalanche I couldn’t stop. My body shivered as they hit me, as the emotions engulfed me.
I took a deep breath. “It doesn’t calm me,” I said softly.
He frowned. “In a good way or a bad way?” He seemed genuinely interested in my answer.
“I’m not sure,” I said softly and then asked, “What did you want to talk to me about?”
He raised his brow. “You’re not even gonna offer me a drink?”
“No drink. Just spill so we can talk, and then you can leave.”
He shifted to lean forward in his chair. “When are you gonna get that I’m not going anywhere?”
“When are you gonna get that I’m not interested?”
He smirked and said, “You talk a good game, baby, but you are more than fuckin’ interested.”
“Just start talking, Kick,” I said, impatient for him to get his words out.
He paused for a second and his face grew serious. “Can we put all the bullshit aside and be honest with each other for a minute?” His eyes implored me to say yes.
I hesitated. Honesty could lead me to trouble here. But after everything we’d ever been through together, he deserved that, at least. I nodded. “Okay.” My voice was anything but sure.
“I want to give us another go,” he said, “and I need to know if I’ve got a shot at making that happen.”
My stomach knotted. A mixture of desire and concern.
Before I could reply, he reminded me, “No bullshit, Evie. I know you’re still pissed at me, but do you think you can move past that?”
Sometimes in life you tell yourself you don’t want something that you really do. And if you tell yourself that for long enough you actually end up believing it. I’d been telling myself for three long years that I didn’t want Kick. And I’d grown to believe it. But sitting here with him now, and stripping back the bullshit, I knew deep in my heart I did want him.
Only a couple of minutes had passed while we sat in silence, but it felt like more. Finally, I said, “I want you, Kick, I’ve always wanted you, but I don’t know how we would make it work. And you know me, I’m a ‘how’ person. If I can’t get my head around how something is going to work, I can’t do it.”
“You think too much, baby,” he said, still staring at me, willing me to want the same thing he did.
“Well, you don’t think enough,” I accused, my voice rising.
“I do when it’s needed, but this . . .” he thumped his hand against his chest, and his voice grew more forceful when he continued, “this is in here. It doesn’t need thought.”
“You know what?” I said as I leant forward, moving my face closer to his, “I can feel it as much as I want in here,” I thumped my chest, “but that means shit if we go back to what we were and change nothing.”
He didn’t say anything, just sat quietly watching me. By the looks of it, he was thinking now. When his phone began ringing a moment later, he answered it with a look of reluctance. I didn’t listen to his conversation but rather left him to go and make myself a cup of tea.
When he joined me in the kitchen, I felt his presence behind me before I heard him.
“I’ve gotta go but I want to continue this conversation. Yeah?”
I faced him and slowly nodded. “Okay.”
“Tomorrow after you finish work?”
I was about to say yes when I remembered I had to keep calling around trying to find money for my dad. “Shit, I can’t after work. I’ve got stuff to do for my dad and then I think Maree is taking me out.”
He frowned. “Is your dad okay?”
I let out a long sigh. “No, he’s gotten himself in debt again.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah, that about covers it.”
Some of my hair had fallen across my face, and he reached his hand up to tuck it behind my ear. He let his hand slide down and then he curled it gently around my neck, his thumb rubbing over my throat. My breathing picked up as desire flooded me. I wanted this, but I had to go slow and make sure we figured it all out before we rushed into things.
His head dipped and when his lips brushed mine, need unfurled through my entire body, and I couldn’t stop myself even if I’d tried. I stepped forward and pressed my body into his. My hand landed on his chest and then slid up so I could tangle my fingers in his hair and at the same time pull his head closer to mine.
I needed him.
Needed him as close as I could get him.
As our tongues danced and our bodies came together, I knew there’d never be another man I wanted as much as Kick. God knew, I’d tried to find one, but kissing him now, I experienced that knowledge deep in my core and in my soul.
He slowly ended our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. “Fuck, baby, we need to sort this out because I fuckin’ need to be inside you.”
“I know,” I whispered, breathless from his kiss.
“You do that to me,” he murmured pensively. He appeared to have something on his mind tonight.
“Do what to you?”
He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his chin in one hand. “Being around you calms me, baby.” His eyes held mine, and time stood still for a moment.
Memories rushed me.
Kick filled so many memories of mine, and his voice and presence triggered an avalanche I couldn’t stop. My body shivered as they hit me, as the emotions engulfed me.
I took a deep breath. “It doesn’t calm me,” I said softly.
He frowned. “In a good way or a bad way?” He seemed genuinely interested in my answer.
“I’m not sure,” I said softly and then asked, “What did you want to talk to me about?”
He raised his brow. “You’re not even gonna offer me a drink?”
“No drink. Just spill so we can talk, and then you can leave.”
He shifted to lean forward in his chair. “When are you gonna get that I’m not going anywhere?”
“When are you gonna get that I’m not interested?”
He smirked and said, “You talk a good game, baby, but you are more than fuckin’ interested.”
“Just start talking, Kick,” I said, impatient for him to get his words out.
He paused for a second and his face grew serious. “Can we put all the bullshit aside and be honest with each other for a minute?” His eyes implored me to say yes.
I hesitated. Honesty could lead me to trouble here. But after everything we’d ever been through together, he deserved that, at least. I nodded. “Okay.” My voice was anything but sure.
“I want to give us another go,” he said, “and I need to know if I’ve got a shot at making that happen.”
My stomach knotted. A mixture of desire and concern.
Before I could reply, he reminded me, “No bullshit, Evie. I know you’re still pissed at me, but do you think you can move past that?”
Sometimes in life you tell yourself you don’t want something that you really do. And if you tell yourself that for long enough you actually end up believing it. I’d been telling myself for three long years that I didn’t want Kick. And I’d grown to believe it. But sitting here with him now, and stripping back the bullshit, I knew deep in my heart I did want him.
Only a couple of minutes had passed while we sat in silence, but it felt like more. Finally, I said, “I want you, Kick, I’ve always wanted you, but I don’t know how we would make it work. And you know me, I’m a ‘how’ person. If I can’t get my head around how something is going to work, I can’t do it.”
“You think too much, baby,” he said, still staring at me, willing me to want the same thing he did.
“Well, you don’t think enough,” I accused, my voice rising.
“I do when it’s needed, but this . . .” he thumped his hand against his chest, and his voice grew more forceful when he continued, “this is in here. It doesn’t need thought.”
“You know what?” I said as I leant forward, moving my face closer to his, “I can feel it as much as I want in here,” I thumped my chest, “but that means shit if we go back to what we were and change nothing.”
He didn’t say anything, just sat quietly watching me. By the looks of it, he was thinking now. When his phone began ringing a moment later, he answered it with a look of reluctance. I didn’t listen to his conversation but rather left him to go and make myself a cup of tea.
When he joined me in the kitchen, I felt his presence behind me before I heard him.
“I’ve gotta go but I want to continue this conversation. Yeah?”
I faced him and slowly nodded. “Okay.”
“Tomorrow after you finish work?”
I was about to say yes when I remembered I had to keep calling around trying to find money for my dad. “Shit, I can’t after work. I’ve got stuff to do for my dad and then I think Maree is taking me out.”
He frowned. “Is your dad okay?”
I let out a long sigh. “No, he’s gotten himself in debt again.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“Yeah, that about covers it.”
Some of my hair had fallen across my face, and he reached his hand up to tuck it behind my ear. He let his hand slide down and then he curled it gently around my neck, his thumb rubbing over my throat. My breathing picked up as desire flooded me. I wanted this, but I had to go slow and make sure we figured it all out before we rushed into things.
His head dipped and when his lips brushed mine, need unfurled through my entire body, and I couldn’t stop myself even if I’d tried. I stepped forward and pressed my body into his. My hand landed on his chest and then slid up so I could tangle my fingers in his hair and at the same time pull his head closer to mine.
I needed him.
Needed him as close as I could get him.
As our tongues danced and our bodies came together, I knew there’d never be another man I wanted as much as Kick. God knew, I’d tried to find one, but kissing him now, I experienced that knowledge deep in my core and in my soul.
He slowly ended our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. “Fuck, baby, we need to sort this out because I fuckin’ need to be inside you.”
“I know,” I whispered, breathless from his kiss.
