He was taken aback, obviously not expecting me to fire up like that, but memories of too many years of being let down by this man rushed at me now.
Kick finally waded into the conversation. “Evie and I are together now, Peter, whether anyone else likes it or not. And as far as her knowing what I’m involved in for you, I haven’t told her the half of it, but I’m more than happy to if you’d like me to.” I couldn’t see his face but I could feel the fury in his voice and the hard set of his stance against my back.
Dad stared at him in silence for a few moments before turning his stare to me. “I’m sorry for dragging you into it.” The room swirled with his regret. “I’m a weak man and I’ve let you down.”
“Oh my god, Dad, yes, you’re a weak man, but if you want to change your life, the only person who can do that is you!” Frustration at his excuses cut through me. He’d been full of excuses as long as I’d been old enough to understand what one was. “Stop making your pathetic excuses and man up. Yes, Mum cheated on you and your life went to shit after that. And yes, you lost a child . . . we all did, but we’ve all found a way to cope with that and live our lives . . . it’s time you did, too. Find the good in your life and put the bad behind you.”
Kick, who had little patience, got straight to the point of our visit. “Gambarro’s wiped your debt, but so help me if you fuckin’ get yourself into anymore debt, Peter...That was the last time I’m stepping in for you.” His hand pressed hard against my waist and I knew in my soul that if Dad ever found himself in debt again, Kick would bail him out. Because he loved me, he would do anything for my family, or me, regardless of the words he’d just spoken.
“Thank you,” Dad said, struggling to meet Kick’s eyes.
“Did you see that counsellor I found for you?” I asked.
He hesitated and I knew if he said yes, he’d be lying. “Not yet,” he admitted softly, now avoiding my eyes.
Kick’s frustration sounded in the long breath he pushed out. “Jesus,” he muttered.
I pushed him. “When will you be seeing him?”
Cagey eyes darted back and forth between Kick and me before finally settling on me. “I’ll call him soon.”
My handbag had slipped down my arm, and I pushed it back up before saying, “Okay, you do that,” I snapped, way past angry at his failure to help himself, “and don’t call me until you have seen him. If you can’t be bothered to sort yourself out, I can’t be bothered to help you anymore.”
Before he could say anything, I turned and stalked out of his house. Heartbreak, anger and disappointment sat heavy in my gut, and I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the tears threatening to fall. It killed me to give up on him, but I couldn’t keep going the way we had been for most of my life. My father needed tough love now. I thought he’d hit rock bottom, but, obviously, he hadn’t. I shuddered to think what that would look like when it finally happened because he’d looked pretty bad the last time I’d seen him.
Kick followed me out and when we reached his bike, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. “You okay, baby?”
I pulled back a little so I could look in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that blared his love for me. It had been there all along but I’d been too blind to see it. I smiled. “Yeah, because I have you.”
He planted a kiss on my lips and then said, “You’ve always had me, you just didn’t know it.”
My tummy fluttered and my heart expanded with happiness.
Even with all the sadness, grief, hurt and anger hanging over me, Kick helped take some of it away.
He gave me hope life could be good again.
Chapter Twelve
Kick
“Anyone else got anything to discuss?” King asked, casting his gaze around the room.
Church had been quick today, but we hadn’t discussed the one thing I thought we would have.
And then Hyde stepped in. “Where are we at with Gambarro, Kick?” he asked, his steely eyes boring into mine.
I sat forward. I’d been ready for this. “As far as I know, he still doesn’t know who I am. I’ve asked my contacts if they’ve heard anything and there’s nothing on the radar.”
“Gambarro’s not a fucking idiot, Kick,” Hyde asserted, “he’ll figure it out soon enough and we need to have a fucking plan to deal with this shit.”
King interrupted. “Our plan is what it’s always been.”
Hyde gave him an incredulous look. “What? Sit and wait for the shit to land at our feet and then defend ourselves?”
King’s hard eyes narrowed at Hyde. “You think it would be better to announce to Gambarro it was us?” he asked scathingly.
Hyde shoved his chair back and stood. Shoving his hand through his dark hair, he bit out, “Fuck, King, I don’t know what the fuck we should do, but I hate sitting here waiting. Like a sitting fucking duck.” He glared at me. “We shouldn’t be in this fucking position.”
Devil, who only spoke when he felt it absolutely necessary, said, “Sit the fuck down, Hyde, and get your shit together, man.”
I eyed Devil and he gave me a nod. He approved of what I’d done. I’d never hear those words from his lips, but Devil’s actions always said everything you needed to know.
Hyde now turned his filthy stare to Devil. “Clearly, I’m the only one here who does have his shit together. I can’t fucking believe none of you are worried about this.”
Kick finally waded into the conversation. “Evie and I are together now, Peter, whether anyone else likes it or not. And as far as her knowing what I’m involved in for you, I haven’t told her the half of it, but I’m more than happy to if you’d like me to.” I couldn’t see his face but I could feel the fury in his voice and the hard set of his stance against my back.
Dad stared at him in silence for a few moments before turning his stare to me. “I’m sorry for dragging you into it.” The room swirled with his regret. “I’m a weak man and I’ve let you down.”
“Oh my god, Dad, yes, you’re a weak man, but if you want to change your life, the only person who can do that is you!” Frustration at his excuses cut through me. He’d been full of excuses as long as I’d been old enough to understand what one was. “Stop making your pathetic excuses and man up. Yes, Mum cheated on you and your life went to shit after that. And yes, you lost a child . . . we all did, but we’ve all found a way to cope with that and live our lives . . . it’s time you did, too. Find the good in your life and put the bad behind you.”
Kick, who had little patience, got straight to the point of our visit. “Gambarro’s wiped your debt, but so help me if you fuckin’ get yourself into anymore debt, Peter...That was the last time I’m stepping in for you.” His hand pressed hard against my waist and I knew in my soul that if Dad ever found himself in debt again, Kick would bail him out. Because he loved me, he would do anything for my family, or me, regardless of the words he’d just spoken.
“Thank you,” Dad said, struggling to meet Kick’s eyes.
“Did you see that counsellor I found for you?” I asked.
He hesitated and I knew if he said yes, he’d be lying. “Not yet,” he admitted softly, now avoiding my eyes.
Kick’s frustration sounded in the long breath he pushed out. “Jesus,” he muttered.
I pushed him. “When will you be seeing him?”
Cagey eyes darted back and forth between Kick and me before finally settling on me. “I’ll call him soon.”
My handbag had slipped down my arm, and I pushed it back up before saying, “Okay, you do that,” I snapped, way past angry at his failure to help himself, “and don’t call me until you have seen him. If you can’t be bothered to sort yourself out, I can’t be bothered to help you anymore.”
Before he could say anything, I turned and stalked out of his house. Heartbreak, anger and disappointment sat heavy in my gut, and I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the tears threatening to fall. It killed me to give up on him, but I couldn’t keep going the way we had been for most of my life. My father needed tough love now. I thought he’d hit rock bottom, but, obviously, he hadn’t. I shuddered to think what that would look like when it finally happened because he’d looked pretty bad the last time I’d seen him.
Kick followed me out and when we reached his bike, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. “You okay, baby?”
I pulled back a little so I could look in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that blared his love for me. It had been there all along but I’d been too blind to see it. I smiled. “Yeah, because I have you.”
He planted a kiss on my lips and then said, “You’ve always had me, you just didn’t know it.”
My tummy fluttered and my heart expanded with happiness.
Even with all the sadness, grief, hurt and anger hanging over me, Kick helped take some of it away.
He gave me hope life could be good again.
Chapter Twelve
Kick
“Anyone else got anything to discuss?” King asked, casting his gaze around the room.
Church had been quick today, but we hadn’t discussed the one thing I thought we would have.
And then Hyde stepped in. “Where are we at with Gambarro, Kick?” he asked, his steely eyes boring into mine.
I sat forward. I’d been ready for this. “As far as I know, he still doesn’t know who I am. I’ve asked my contacts if they’ve heard anything and there’s nothing on the radar.”
“Gambarro’s not a fucking idiot, Kick,” Hyde asserted, “he’ll figure it out soon enough and we need to have a fucking plan to deal with this shit.”
King interrupted. “Our plan is what it’s always been.”
Hyde gave him an incredulous look. “What? Sit and wait for the shit to land at our feet and then defend ourselves?”
King’s hard eyes narrowed at Hyde. “You think it would be better to announce to Gambarro it was us?” he asked scathingly.
Hyde shoved his chair back and stood. Shoving his hand through his dark hair, he bit out, “Fuck, King, I don’t know what the fuck we should do, but I hate sitting here waiting. Like a sitting fucking duck.” He glared at me. “We shouldn’t be in this fucking position.”
Devil, who only spoke when he felt it absolutely necessary, said, “Sit the fuck down, Hyde, and get your shit together, man.”
I eyed Devil and he gave me a nod. He approved of what I’d done. I’d never hear those words from his lips, but Devil’s actions always said everything you needed to know.
Hyde now turned his filthy stare to Devil. “Clearly, I’m the only one here who does have his shit together. I can’t fucking believe none of you are worried about this.”
