I stared up at him, unsure where his sudden outburst had come from, and simply nodded.
He leant his hand on the table and dipped his head towards mine. “We clear, Kick? I want that fucking name.”
“We’re clear.”
Straightening, he gave me one last hard nod before stalking out of the room. He ran into our
Vice President, Hyde, on the way, and after they had a quick conversation, Hyde made his way to me. I eyed him, uncertain about his mood today, and waited for him to speak so I could gauge where he was at.
With a jerk of his chin, he said, “King says you’re at a funeral for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah. Why? Have you got something you need me to take care of?”
“See, that’s why I fuckin’ like you, Kick. And it’s why you’re mine and King’s go-to-guy when shit needs to be done. Can’t fuckin’ count on anyone the way we can on you.”
“What time do you need me back here?” I asked him.
“Four. That work for you?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Good.” And with that, he turned and left.
I watched him as he barked something at one of the other guys. Jekyll and Hyde. That was our VP. Never could be sure if he would rip your head off or buy you a drink. I’d had a few run-ins with him, but the thing about Hyde was unless you really screwed him over, he didn’t tend to hold onto shit. Unlike King who remembered every little fucking thing done to him and always made sure payback was delivered at some point.
As Hyde exited the room, I emptied my glass and stood. It was time to visit old ghosts.
And old flames.
***
“Evie,” I called out as I jogged to catch up to her, the heat of the day causing my shirt to stick to me.
She stopped and turned to face me, her body language clear. She didn’t want to talk to me. Sighing, she murmured, “What do you want, Kick?”
Fuck.
Beauty like I’d seen on no other woman lit her face, even today when I knew she would be struggling with what we’d just sat through. The tiredness I saw on her face was a dead giveaway to her grief, as were her unruly hair and lack of makeup. I’d spent most of the funeral watching her, taking in the changes to her body since I’d last seen her just over a year ago. The curves I’d grown up loving had almost disappeared. The black dress she wore today hung limply off her whereas in the past, it would have hugged the shit out of her. Evie had always had hang-ups about her body but I’d always fucking loved it. The more curves the better as far as I was concerned.
I let my eyes wander over her. Even in her curve-less and exhausted state, she turned me on. I was sure she always would. “Are you okay?” I asked, silently willing her to speak to me rather than pushing me away like I knew she probably wanted to do.
Her mask slipped for a moment and then she quickly put it back in place before saying, “I’ll be fine.”
I took a step closer to her and as she tried to move away from me, I quickly flicked my hand out and caught her wrist, halting her movement. “Don’t do that,” I said, annoyed we were back here, back to a place where she tried to hide herself from me.
“Do what?”
“That thing you do where you shut down and sweep your feelings away as if they don’t matter.” She’d been doing it for as long as I’d known her. Twenty-seven years. “You lost a friend, Evie . . . we lost a friend, and I’m sure as fuck not coping with it so I know you’ve gotta be struggling too.”
She pulled free of my hold. “He’s gone, and we’ve gotta keep going. Simple as that.”
What the fuck?
“You’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?” I asked, my voice hard. Forceful. Demanding. Her words made no sense. Jeremy had been like family to us growing up, and there was no way we just moved on from this. No way she would just move on from this.
“No, I’m not. Funerals are to say goodbye, and I’ve just said goodbye.” Her brown eyes betrayed her, though. She was struggling with this, too.
“That’s bullshit. It’s gonna take us a long time to say goodbye. That shit isn’t covered in a fuckin’ funeral, Evie.”
Those brown eyes of hers flared with what I figured was anger. “How would you know how long it’ll take me? You haven’t seen me in a year, Kick, so you have no idea what’s going on with me anymore. Don’t come back here today thinking you know me, ‘cause you don’t. The day you walked out on me three years ago was the day I changed.” She was angry, and yet her voice held none of the angry passion it had when we were together.
I stepped into her space again and bent my face to hers. “I do know you. I know how you like to handle shit you don’t want to deal with. I know you prefer to shut down and not let your feelings out. And I fuckin’ know you feel every-fuckin’-thing deep, babe. Losing Jeremy would have cut you deep and you can try and hide it from everyone, but you can’t hide shit from me.” I moved my face even closer to hers before I whispered, “I see you, Evie. I’ve always seen you, and I know you’re struggling. Let me in.”
She froze and stared at me in silence for a beat. Then her breathing picked up as the words fell out of her mouth. “Why now, Kick? Why couldn’t you have just come back for the funeral and left me alone?”
The desperate plea in her voice did not go unheard. It was the same fucking question I was asking myself even as I was asking her to let me in.
He leant his hand on the table and dipped his head towards mine. “We clear, Kick? I want that fucking name.”
“We’re clear.”
Straightening, he gave me one last hard nod before stalking out of the room. He ran into our
Vice President, Hyde, on the way, and after they had a quick conversation, Hyde made his way to me. I eyed him, uncertain about his mood today, and waited for him to speak so I could gauge where he was at.
With a jerk of his chin, he said, “King says you’re at a funeral for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah. Why? Have you got something you need me to take care of?”
“See, that’s why I fuckin’ like you, Kick. And it’s why you’re mine and King’s go-to-guy when shit needs to be done. Can’t fuckin’ count on anyone the way we can on you.”
“What time do you need me back here?” I asked him.
“Four. That work for you?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Good.” And with that, he turned and left.
I watched him as he barked something at one of the other guys. Jekyll and Hyde. That was our VP. Never could be sure if he would rip your head off or buy you a drink. I’d had a few run-ins with him, but the thing about Hyde was unless you really screwed him over, he didn’t tend to hold onto shit. Unlike King who remembered every little fucking thing done to him and always made sure payback was delivered at some point.
As Hyde exited the room, I emptied my glass and stood. It was time to visit old ghosts.
And old flames.
***
“Evie,” I called out as I jogged to catch up to her, the heat of the day causing my shirt to stick to me.
She stopped and turned to face me, her body language clear. She didn’t want to talk to me. Sighing, she murmured, “What do you want, Kick?”
Fuck.
Beauty like I’d seen on no other woman lit her face, even today when I knew she would be struggling with what we’d just sat through. The tiredness I saw on her face was a dead giveaway to her grief, as were her unruly hair and lack of makeup. I’d spent most of the funeral watching her, taking in the changes to her body since I’d last seen her just over a year ago. The curves I’d grown up loving had almost disappeared. The black dress she wore today hung limply off her whereas in the past, it would have hugged the shit out of her. Evie had always had hang-ups about her body but I’d always fucking loved it. The more curves the better as far as I was concerned.
I let my eyes wander over her. Even in her curve-less and exhausted state, she turned me on. I was sure she always would. “Are you okay?” I asked, silently willing her to speak to me rather than pushing me away like I knew she probably wanted to do.
Her mask slipped for a moment and then she quickly put it back in place before saying, “I’ll be fine.”
I took a step closer to her and as she tried to move away from me, I quickly flicked my hand out and caught her wrist, halting her movement. “Don’t do that,” I said, annoyed we were back here, back to a place where she tried to hide herself from me.
“Do what?”
“That thing you do where you shut down and sweep your feelings away as if they don’t matter.” She’d been doing it for as long as I’d known her. Twenty-seven years. “You lost a friend, Evie . . . we lost a friend, and I’m sure as fuck not coping with it so I know you’ve gotta be struggling too.”
She pulled free of my hold. “He’s gone, and we’ve gotta keep going. Simple as that.”
What the fuck?
“You’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?” I asked, my voice hard. Forceful. Demanding. Her words made no sense. Jeremy had been like family to us growing up, and there was no way we just moved on from this. No way she would just move on from this.
“No, I’m not. Funerals are to say goodbye, and I’ve just said goodbye.” Her brown eyes betrayed her, though. She was struggling with this, too.
“That’s bullshit. It’s gonna take us a long time to say goodbye. That shit isn’t covered in a fuckin’ funeral, Evie.”
Those brown eyes of hers flared with what I figured was anger. “How would you know how long it’ll take me? You haven’t seen me in a year, Kick, so you have no idea what’s going on with me anymore. Don’t come back here today thinking you know me, ‘cause you don’t. The day you walked out on me three years ago was the day I changed.” She was angry, and yet her voice held none of the angry passion it had when we were together.
I stepped into her space again and bent my face to hers. “I do know you. I know how you like to handle shit you don’t want to deal with. I know you prefer to shut down and not let your feelings out. And I fuckin’ know you feel every-fuckin’-thing deep, babe. Losing Jeremy would have cut you deep and you can try and hide it from everyone, but you can’t hide shit from me.” I moved my face even closer to hers before I whispered, “I see you, Evie. I’ve always seen you, and I know you’re struggling. Let me in.”
She froze and stared at me in silence for a beat. Then her breathing picked up as the words fell out of her mouth. “Why now, Kick? Why couldn’t you have just come back for the funeral and left me alone?”
The desperate plea in her voice did not go unheard. It was the same fucking question I was asking myself even as I was asking her to let me in.
