Renegade
Page 20

 Erica Stevens

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She slid to her knees before him, clinging to him as he enveloped her, rocking her against him, holding her, and touching her so reverently that she could barely breathe through the love swirling and building throughout her. His presence overwhelmed her; it floored her, and rocked her with its intensity and need. His hands were in her hair; his mouth was hard on hers, passionate, burning with a need that left her shaken. For the first time she realized that though he did not pressure her, did not push her toward anything, there was something else that he wanted even more than her blood.
He also wanted her body.
Aria shuddered, desire pooled through her. It was something that she had not been ready for, something she had not given because circumstances always seemed to separate them. But even though they were on the run, adrift in a world that provided no security, there were no barriers between them anymore. She didn’t even care that they were kneeling on a kitchen floor right now; she was so swept up in both of their needs and desires.
He pulled away from her, shaking as he held her tight. “Arianna,” he moaned.
“I understand. I know what you need.” But though she said the words, she wasn’t sure they were right. She knew he wanted this as badly as she did, but she wasn’t entirely certain that it would be enough. She sensed that he may need more than just her blood and her body. He already had her heart and soul; she didn’t know what else she could give him to ease the distress she sensed growing within him.
“Arianna.” His voice was a low groan of pain and need. “You are so innocent. So sweet…”
“I am not that sweet.”
His smile was wan, his eyes dark and tortured. “True,” he agreed softly. She grinned at him, sensing the lightening in his mood that she had been hoping for. “There is so much you don’t know about me though. So much that you could never understand. There are things that I have done…”
She placed her fingers over his mouth, silencing him. “Don’t Braith. You’re not going to scare me away; you are not going to drive me away. You are not your father, you are not Caleb.”
“I am a killer.”
“I have killed also,” she managed to choke out.
“In self-defense. I killed for pleasure, for joy.” She tried to turn away from him; she didn’t want to hear this. She knew what he was, knew what he was capable of; she had witnessed the full force of his brutality earlier. He grabbed hold of her though, pulling her back toward him. “You need to hear this Arianna.”
“I understand Braith; you don’t have to do this.”
“I do, because you don’t understand.” She frowned fiercely at him, her hands clenching tight on her legs. “I never killed for pleasure, never killed for the joy of it.” She didn’t understand where he was going with this. “Until Jack took you from the palace.”
Aria recoiled, the color drained from her face. He was right, she didn’t understand this. He had told her about the blood slaves he had taken after her escape, and though she hadn’t asked, she had assumed that he had not killed them. The Braith she knew was kind, caring, overly protective of her, and as willing to die for her as he was willing to kill for her, but he was not vicious. And this conversation was taking a turn toward cruelty that she had not expected from him.
“And then I lost myself to the pleasure of the blood, the pleasure of sex, and the pleasure of the death.” She felt nauseous. She was going to throw up. He was a killer, she understood that. There were other women before her, she knew that, he was over nine hundred years old for crying out loud, she’d be a fool to think there hadn’t been other women, but she didn’t want to hear about them. And she didn’t want to hear about him glutting himself on them, on thriving on destroying them. He leaned closer to her, his eyes burned with a strange fire. “I did not enjoy it for long Arianna.”
She shook her head, forcing herself not to recoil from him. She loved him but how did she assimilate the monster he was describing to the man before her. “Then why?” she managed to croak out.
“Because I wanted to forget you and I thought that it would help.”
She stifled a moan as she closed her eyes. Guilt stained her soul and twisted in her stomach. It was not her fault that he had done those things. He had chosen to kill, but her absence had been the catalyst that sent him spiraling over the edge. “Why are you telling me this?” she whispered.
He sighed softly; his hand was gentle as he gripped her chin. “Because you need to know.”
She shook her head in denial. She loved him, she truly did, but now she felt wounded and raw. He had starkly reminded her of things that she did not want to recall, reminded her of the fact that though she had no one to compare him to, there were probably hundreds, if not thousands, that he would be comparing her to. He had also harshly reminded her of the fact that he was a monster, or at least had the potential to be. He would never hurt her, but what would he do to someone else that stood in his way? What would he do if her family stood in his way?
She knew the answer to that, and though she wanted to deny it, she knew that it would be something swift, and vicious.
“Arianna, you need to understand what it is that I am saying to you.” She blinked, her eyes burned with tears, but she was confused as to why he kept pushing this. “I can’t lose you again Arianna; it sent me into a dark spiral. It snapped something inside of me, turned me into something evil and twisted. I upheld my promise, I did not reclaim any blood slaves after the last time I saw you. I couldn’t, the thought of them was disgusting to me. But I cannot lose you from my life again, many will not survive it.”
Her eyes were wide, her mouth parted in disbelief. “You’re not going to,” she promised softly.
His hands were on her face, his eyes forceful and smoldering. “Whatever this is between us, it’s something that I don’t understand, it’s something strong, intense, pure, and yet consuming. It is something wonderful and precious, but it can also turn me into something horrendous. Losing you will also drive me mad. I am one of the strongest of our kind, I am a prince, and my blood is strong, old, untainted. If I snap, if I go on a rampage, I will destroy many people before I am stopped. If I am stopped.”
“Braith I will never leave you,” she promised.
“You are human Arianna. As long as you stay human you will be mortal, at risk of death.”
“Braith…”
“I cannot take the chance of you being killed. I cannot risk that.”
Realization was cold and vile as it hit her with the force of a hard slap. He did want more than just her blood; he wanted more than just her body even.
He wanted her life. He wanted the only thing she couldn’t give him right now, if ever, but seeing the stress in him now she wasn’t sure she would be able to stop him from taking it by force.
Chapter 13
Arianna was still pale, and shaken. She had not spoken since he had made his revelation to her, she had barely even moved. Every once in awhile, she would stare at him, her eyes would darken slightly, and her hands would begin to tremble in her lap once more. She was the strongest human he had ever encountered, perhaps even the strongest being he had ever come into contact with, but his confession, his openness, had rattled her completely.
As had his intention to take her humanity from her.
It was not something he wanted to do, not something he looked forward to doing, but it was something he had to do. Something he was going to do. He realized that now, he just hoped that eventually she would come around to be willing. He didn’t know how he would handle it if she wasn’t, didn’t know how he would handle it if she remained human for much longer. But he could not take the chance of losing her again. When he thought back to the things he had done after she left him, he was repulsed by his actions. He was shocked by the depths of his depravity, shocked by his fervent need to lose himself in blood, sex, and death in order to try and forget her. He had never experienced that ravenous hunger and brutality that had encompassed him. It had ensnared him within a web of death that had done little to ease the tortured pain residing within his soul.
A pain that she had inflicted and only she had eased. And he had come to realize that it would only ever be her that could pull him from that dark place. A place he had entered a few times today, slaughtering and killing anyone that had posed any kind of threat to her life. She could pull him back from the brink of madness; she gave him some kind of control over himself. But it was a control that was unraveling rapidly.
He knew that, he could feel it within the marrow of his bones. She would be his undoing, as he would be hers.
She was everything to him; she was his light in a world that had been black before her. In a world that he had not seen for so long before her. She could not stay human, and he was not sure that he could change her. He’d heard of it being done before, but had never witnessed it, and had never attempted such a feat himself. It was dangerous, many did not survive.
He was determined that she would.
“Braith.” Ashby was watching him wearily, his eyes narrowed and distrustful. Yet, there was something in his eyes, something almost knowing. Braith stopped pacing, tilting his head as he studied his enemy. “What have you gotten yourself into?”
Braith strode toward the window. He pulled the curtain back, peering out on the lightening day. He didn’t expect Jack to make it today, but perhaps by nightfall. “Have you forsaken your right to the throne?”
He turned as the young girl gasped in shock. He had tightened her bonds, making it almost impossible for her to move. Arianna’s soft pleas had saved the woman’s life; it would not take much for him to change his mind though. “You are the prince?” she inquired in awe.
“I am no prince,” Braith growled at her.
The girl’s eyes were wide, fearful. She squiggled against her tight ropes, struggling to break free. Arianna watched her in wide eyed fascination, but he could see the deep turmoil churning behind her eyes. She didn’t like what he’d done to the girl, but she didn’t protest it either. She seemed resigned to the fact that the woman would remain tied tightly, she was not resigned to this situation though as her eyes came wearily back to him.
“So the son has turned his back on his father. Caleb must be thrilled,” Ashby purred. “What must Jericho think?” Braith remained silent; Ashby would learn soon enough that Jericho had abandoned his place in the palace long before Braith had. “The palace streets will run red with blood if Caleb ever ascends the throne.”
Braith snorted in disgust as he shook his head at Ashby. “Do you really think my father is ready to hand over his rule?”
“I think that Caleb will try to take it from him, when he is ready to.”
“You may be right.”
“It will be horrific and violent.”
“It will,” Braith agreed.
Frustration flashed across Ashby’s handsome features. “You know what will happen with Caleb in charge Braith. You know what he will do. This pretty little thing that you’ve brought in here, you know what Caleb would do to her!”
“He’ll have to find her first.”
Ashby’s eyes widened, he climbed slowly to his feet. Stepping forward, he came up against the tight bonds wrapped around him. “Braith, this is Caleb we are talking about. He will raze every town in order to find you, in order to make sure that you do not come back and try to reclaim your birthright. You think your father is a sadistic son of a bitch, he has nothing on Caleb.”
“I know my family Ashby,” Braith hissed.
Ashby shook his head. For the first time, true fear flickered through his bright green eyes. “You have no idea of the stain that rests on their souls,” Ashby said softly. “Of their cruelty and immorality.”
“And you do?” Braith inquired.
Ashby was silent for a long moment. He turned slowly toward Arianna. “We didn’t turn against your family because mine was hoping to take over, because we wanted the power, or because we cared about the humans.” Arianna glared at Ashby. “We wanted nothing of power Braith, you know that. We were an easy going lot, all of us. Power was never our goal; fun was all that we ever wanted, freedom, no restraints. It was not power we sought Braith, it was not to save the human race.”
Braith folded his arms firmly over his chest, leaning back on his heels as he studied his brother-in-law with disdain. “Then what did you want?” he demanded.
“Peace Braith, we simply sought peace. Things were well enough before the war. So what if vampires did not wander about in public. Who cared that we had to keep our identities secret? Not me, not my family, not you. It’s not as if we didn’t have fun, not as if we didn’t take whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it anyway. Why upset the balance? Why take a chance that it could all go wrong? That it could be even worse afterward?