I lifted the shoulder he was holding onto and let it fall. “I’ll sleep better wherever you’re at. If you’re staking claim on the floor, then I am too. But I think I saw a couple of old Army cots stashed in the big cabinet that the first aid kit was in. That might be better than the floor with your arm.”
“I’m not going to shut it down, Leo. I don’t know how much faith I have in Grady to be the lookout. He’s still a stranger and that story of theirs is still crazy even if it’s true. Plus, those tire tracks make me nervous. We had to stop because of the weather, and because of Webb, but it isn’t a great idea.”
I turned around and put my good hand on the center of his chest. His entire frame was coiled tight and vibrating with invisible waves of tension and readiness. If he wound himself up any tighter, he was going to snap and then we would all be screwed. I was adapting to what had to be done out here in the woods, but I was no adventurer, and had no clue how to navigate the unforgiving terrain back to the ranch.
“You stayed up most of the night keeping watch. You rode for hours in the driving rain with a massive gash in your arm. You might look like you’re carved from stone but you’re made of all the same breakable things all men are made of, Cy. Take an hour and lie down with me. Hold onto me and let me hold onto you, so that I can pretend like things aren’t as bad as they actually are.” I ran my hands up over his wide shoulders and cuddled into his chest so that my cheek was resting on the steady thump of his heart. “Steal a moment for yourself. You’ve earned it.”
He exhaled against the top of my head and his heavy arms curled around me and held me close. We were both getting really good at holding onto things, which meant when it was time to finally let go, it was going to be brutal. It was going to feel like something imperative and vital to my future happiness was being ripped away.
“I’ll give us an hour and then I’ll take Grady’s place and get us ready to move.” It was never enough time. I was greedy and always after more. More time and more of him.
He let me go and muscled out the cots. They had seen better days but they would keep us up off the floor. Cy set them up in the center of the room after he took down the card table. I kept an eye on Webb to make sure all the racket Cy was making didn’t wake him up but the man was down for the count. There were a few extra blankets folded up on the end of the bed, so I snagged them and crawled onto one of the cots next to Cy. He shot an arm out and wrapped it around me so that he could tug me to his chest and we were lying face to face, breathing one another in.
I lifted a finger and traced it over the flat line of his lips and shivered when he darted his tongue out to lick the tip of the digit. “I like it better when you smile.” He didn’t do it very often, so when he did, it was extra special and meant to be savored.
“Haven’t had much reason to do that until you came crashing into my life, Sunshine.” The words were gruff and low but they were some of the sweetest I’d ever heard.
I nuzzled into him and let my eyes drift closed after I told him, “After all of this is said and done, I hope you have enough happy memories of our time together to keep smiling after I’m gone. You shouldn’t keep something that special all to yourself.”
One of his hands cupped the back of my skull, his fingers threading through my hair as he held me so close it was almost like he was trying to absorb me. He wanted to take me all in just as badly as I wanted to experience everything he had to offer. It was an exhilarating feeling that dulled the edge of fear and anxiety that was making my nerves tingle.
“This time with you has been unforgettable, Leo. Both the good and the bad. Without a doubt, when I think about you, it will put a big, stupid smile on my face. I’ve never met anyone like you before. The situation around us keeps getting worse and worse but you keep getting better and better. Letting that go is going to be harder than I want to think about while I still have you in my arms.”
The metal bar from the cot dug into my side as I scooted even closer to him so I could throw my leg over his. Everything inside of me was screaming to tell him that he didn’t have to let me go, that he could hold on to me as hard as I wanted to hold onto him, but I knew it wasn’t realistic. His life was here and it wasn’t a life I understood or had a place in, not to mention the mess my own life was in back home. I had to decide if I was going to tell Chris’s wife what he was doing behind her back and risk my job and future employment. That was the last string dangling from the frayed fabric of my life before and I needed to cut it off. I needed to straighten things out, get my head out of my heart, and make things right back in San Francisco. It was time for me to do the right thing instead of living in fear of the consequences. Maybe once I did that, I could take an even bigger risk and try and figure out a way that would keep this man and his life changing smile in my world.
“No letting go just yet. Get some sleep, Cy, you need to recharge.” We both did, so it was no surprise that when I quit talking to him, his breathing got shallow as his chest rose and fell against mine when he drifted off. It didn’t take long for me to follow him into oblivion.
Sadly, the reprieve didn’t last very long. It only felt like my eyes were shut for five minutes when I was jerked awake by the sound of raised voices and the whir of an engine. I was going to whisper Cy’s name to see if he had heard the noise as well, but he was already wide awake. I watched his brows furrow and his face set in hard lines of concentration. He put a finger over my lips as I nodded that I knew I shouldn’t make a sound. He inclined his head toward the now empty bed as the voices from outside rose even louder.
“I’m not going to shut it down, Leo. I don’t know how much faith I have in Grady to be the lookout. He’s still a stranger and that story of theirs is still crazy even if it’s true. Plus, those tire tracks make me nervous. We had to stop because of the weather, and because of Webb, but it isn’t a great idea.”
I turned around and put my good hand on the center of his chest. His entire frame was coiled tight and vibrating with invisible waves of tension and readiness. If he wound himself up any tighter, he was going to snap and then we would all be screwed. I was adapting to what had to be done out here in the woods, but I was no adventurer, and had no clue how to navigate the unforgiving terrain back to the ranch.
“You stayed up most of the night keeping watch. You rode for hours in the driving rain with a massive gash in your arm. You might look like you’re carved from stone but you’re made of all the same breakable things all men are made of, Cy. Take an hour and lie down with me. Hold onto me and let me hold onto you, so that I can pretend like things aren’t as bad as they actually are.” I ran my hands up over his wide shoulders and cuddled into his chest so that my cheek was resting on the steady thump of his heart. “Steal a moment for yourself. You’ve earned it.”
He exhaled against the top of my head and his heavy arms curled around me and held me close. We were both getting really good at holding onto things, which meant when it was time to finally let go, it was going to be brutal. It was going to feel like something imperative and vital to my future happiness was being ripped away.
“I’ll give us an hour and then I’ll take Grady’s place and get us ready to move.” It was never enough time. I was greedy and always after more. More time and more of him.
He let me go and muscled out the cots. They had seen better days but they would keep us up off the floor. Cy set them up in the center of the room after he took down the card table. I kept an eye on Webb to make sure all the racket Cy was making didn’t wake him up but the man was down for the count. There were a few extra blankets folded up on the end of the bed, so I snagged them and crawled onto one of the cots next to Cy. He shot an arm out and wrapped it around me so that he could tug me to his chest and we were lying face to face, breathing one another in.
I lifted a finger and traced it over the flat line of his lips and shivered when he darted his tongue out to lick the tip of the digit. “I like it better when you smile.” He didn’t do it very often, so when he did, it was extra special and meant to be savored.
“Haven’t had much reason to do that until you came crashing into my life, Sunshine.” The words were gruff and low but they were some of the sweetest I’d ever heard.
I nuzzled into him and let my eyes drift closed after I told him, “After all of this is said and done, I hope you have enough happy memories of our time together to keep smiling after I’m gone. You shouldn’t keep something that special all to yourself.”
One of his hands cupped the back of my skull, his fingers threading through my hair as he held me so close it was almost like he was trying to absorb me. He wanted to take me all in just as badly as I wanted to experience everything he had to offer. It was an exhilarating feeling that dulled the edge of fear and anxiety that was making my nerves tingle.
“This time with you has been unforgettable, Leo. Both the good and the bad. Without a doubt, when I think about you, it will put a big, stupid smile on my face. I’ve never met anyone like you before. The situation around us keeps getting worse and worse but you keep getting better and better. Letting that go is going to be harder than I want to think about while I still have you in my arms.”
The metal bar from the cot dug into my side as I scooted even closer to him so I could throw my leg over his. Everything inside of me was screaming to tell him that he didn’t have to let me go, that he could hold on to me as hard as I wanted to hold onto him, but I knew it wasn’t realistic. His life was here and it wasn’t a life I understood or had a place in, not to mention the mess my own life was in back home. I had to decide if I was going to tell Chris’s wife what he was doing behind her back and risk my job and future employment. That was the last string dangling from the frayed fabric of my life before and I needed to cut it off. I needed to straighten things out, get my head out of my heart, and make things right back in San Francisco. It was time for me to do the right thing instead of living in fear of the consequences. Maybe once I did that, I could take an even bigger risk and try and figure out a way that would keep this man and his life changing smile in my world.
“No letting go just yet. Get some sleep, Cy, you need to recharge.” We both did, so it was no surprise that when I quit talking to him, his breathing got shallow as his chest rose and fell against mine when he drifted off. It didn’t take long for me to follow him into oblivion.
Sadly, the reprieve didn’t last very long. It only felt like my eyes were shut for five minutes when I was jerked awake by the sound of raised voices and the whir of an engine. I was going to whisper Cy’s name to see if he had heard the noise as well, but he was already wide awake. I watched his brows furrow and his face set in hard lines of concentration. He put a finger over my lips as I nodded that I knew I shouldn’t make a sound. He inclined his head toward the now empty bed as the voices from outside rose even louder.
