Revealed: The Missing Years
Page 72
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“Do you mind filling me in on what happened?”
“I’m a man. I’m not fuck’n dead, but I don’t care what Roach says, I believe Claire’s going to get better.”
“Tony, what does that have to do with Patricia?”
“It’s been happening for a while, but I didn’t really notice, or I guess I wasn’t paying attention. When I did, I thought if I just ignored her, it would stop. They have rules here. Shit, she almost got me in trouble.”
“I’m still lost,” Brent said.
“She fuck’n made a move on me. She’s been saying things about wanting to help me, help me not be so lonely, come visit more often. Then she started talking about Nichol and how Claire was too sick to care for her. She said that she’d never do that. She’d never leave her husband and daughter. She said that she could care for Nichol like a mother, better than Claire. I about lost it. I was fuck’n wanting to get her away from me. She knew I was mad, but she started to say how she understands… I’m just lonely and frustrated. Well, she’s got that right, but not for her! Years ago, before Claire and I were married, Patricia accompanied me to a few outings. It was usually last minute. She talked about that and how she wished I’d never met Claire—if I hadn’t, we’d be together. Then, when the buzzer sounded for visiting time to end, she leaned over, gave me a way too good shot at her low-cut blouse, and kissed me!”
When Tony stopped talking, it wasn’t Brent who replied but Courtney. She gasped and said, “She did what?! Oh no, there’s no way she’s getting anywhere near Nichol. Don’t you worry. Aunt Cort is on this.”
“You’re on speaker, Tony.”
“Yes, I kind of figured. I have about thirty seconds left on this call. I’m so mad I can hardly see straight. She’s flying back to Iowa on the Rawlings jet right now. I want you to meet her at the airport.”
Brent replied, “Not a problem. I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
“So am I,” Courtney chimed in.
“I don’t want this to be public knowledge, only a need-to-know basis. Her leaving will be for some other reason. Work it out. Pay her. I don’t give a damn. Just be sure she signs a gag order. Claire’s coming back to me. I’m coming back to her. There’s no way in hell I would ever…”
“I’ll take care of it,” Brent said, just as the phone went dead.
“Do you believe she’ll ever see it?” Jim asked about the new house Tony had been describing.
“Of course she’ll see it. She’ll live in it.”
“Remember what we talked about. Remember the conclusion you’ve drawn.”
Tony nodded. “I do. I get it. Claire coming back to me, remarrying me, even though I was different—or tried to be different—will always be a prison to her. I get that. That doesn’t mean I can’t make her life the best it can be.”
“Anthony, whose decision is it, how Claire’s life should be?”
“Hers.” He stood and paced to the window, smiling for just a moment at the colorful view. “I know. It’s hers. I’m giving her the estate—all the land and the new house. It’ll all be hers. She can fuck’n sell it if she wants. My name won’t be on it at all. I understand that our relationship can never be what I thought we had. I even get that maybe what we had in the South Pacific wasn’t real: it was more of her conditioned response. I hate it, but I get it. It’d be like me going somewhere else with all the same people from here. The familiarity would make the same feelings come out. Without being here at Yankton, I don’t think I would have gotten it, but I do.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I can hear her pain and fear in that damn book. I won’t do that to her again.”
“Why do you think you hear that now, but you didn’t six years ago?”
“We never talked about it. It happened, but we never discussed it. Besides, I didn’t want to hear it then.”
“Do you want to hear it now?”
“No. I hate it. I hate that I was the cause of it. I just thought we’d made it past all of that…” Tony’s words trailed away.
“Can you make it past this—here?” Jim asked, motioning around the room.
Tony’s shoulders straightened as he stood taller. “I will make it past this.”
“Will you forget your time here?”
“I can try.”
Jim leaned forward. “But it will always be a part of who you are. Just like the kidnapping, imprisonment, and required subjugation will always be a part of Claire. The best that she can hope for is to try to forget and move on. Tell me if you can—well, I guess you can since you have the means—would you ever consider moving to Yankton? I mean, it’s a great community.”
“Hell no.”
“Why?” Jim asked.
“Do you need to ask?”
“Will it be easier to put this prison camp behind you in Iowa than if you lived here?”
Red tried to infiltrate Tony’s thoughts. “I get it. I get what you’re saying. But not only am I talking about Claire, I’m talking about Nichol too. I can’t imagine not knowing where they are. I don’t know what I’d do.”
“You’d do what most people do: you’d get joint custody. You’d live your life and let her live hers. You’re building this grand new home with the help of your friends and yet, you’re not considering that Claire, if she gets better, may never want to live there. She may finally realize that she wants as far away from Iowa as you want away from here.”
“I’m a man. I’m not fuck’n dead, but I don’t care what Roach says, I believe Claire’s going to get better.”
“Tony, what does that have to do with Patricia?”
“It’s been happening for a while, but I didn’t really notice, or I guess I wasn’t paying attention. When I did, I thought if I just ignored her, it would stop. They have rules here. Shit, she almost got me in trouble.”
“I’m still lost,” Brent said.
“She fuck’n made a move on me. She’s been saying things about wanting to help me, help me not be so lonely, come visit more often. Then she started talking about Nichol and how Claire was too sick to care for her. She said that she’d never do that. She’d never leave her husband and daughter. She said that she could care for Nichol like a mother, better than Claire. I about lost it. I was fuck’n wanting to get her away from me. She knew I was mad, but she started to say how she understands… I’m just lonely and frustrated. Well, she’s got that right, but not for her! Years ago, before Claire and I were married, Patricia accompanied me to a few outings. It was usually last minute. She talked about that and how she wished I’d never met Claire—if I hadn’t, we’d be together. Then, when the buzzer sounded for visiting time to end, she leaned over, gave me a way too good shot at her low-cut blouse, and kissed me!”
When Tony stopped talking, it wasn’t Brent who replied but Courtney. She gasped and said, “She did what?! Oh no, there’s no way she’s getting anywhere near Nichol. Don’t you worry. Aunt Cort is on this.”
“You’re on speaker, Tony.”
“Yes, I kind of figured. I have about thirty seconds left on this call. I’m so mad I can hardly see straight. She’s flying back to Iowa on the Rawlings jet right now. I want you to meet her at the airport.”
Brent replied, “Not a problem. I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
“So am I,” Courtney chimed in.
“I don’t want this to be public knowledge, only a need-to-know basis. Her leaving will be for some other reason. Work it out. Pay her. I don’t give a damn. Just be sure she signs a gag order. Claire’s coming back to me. I’m coming back to her. There’s no way in hell I would ever…”
“I’ll take care of it,” Brent said, just as the phone went dead.
“Do you believe she’ll ever see it?” Jim asked about the new house Tony had been describing.
“Of course she’ll see it. She’ll live in it.”
“Remember what we talked about. Remember the conclusion you’ve drawn.”
Tony nodded. “I do. I get it. Claire coming back to me, remarrying me, even though I was different—or tried to be different—will always be a prison to her. I get that. That doesn’t mean I can’t make her life the best it can be.”
“Anthony, whose decision is it, how Claire’s life should be?”
“Hers.” He stood and paced to the window, smiling for just a moment at the colorful view. “I know. It’s hers. I’m giving her the estate—all the land and the new house. It’ll all be hers. She can fuck’n sell it if she wants. My name won’t be on it at all. I understand that our relationship can never be what I thought we had. I even get that maybe what we had in the South Pacific wasn’t real: it was more of her conditioned response. I hate it, but I get it. It’d be like me going somewhere else with all the same people from here. The familiarity would make the same feelings come out. Without being here at Yankton, I don’t think I would have gotten it, but I do.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I can hear her pain and fear in that damn book. I won’t do that to her again.”
“Why do you think you hear that now, but you didn’t six years ago?”
“We never talked about it. It happened, but we never discussed it. Besides, I didn’t want to hear it then.”
“Do you want to hear it now?”
“No. I hate it. I hate that I was the cause of it. I just thought we’d made it past all of that…” Tony’s words trailed away.
“Can you make it past this—here?” Jim asked, motioning around the room.
Tony’s shoulders straightened as he stood taller. “I will make it past this.”
“Will you forget your time here?”
“I can try.”
Jim leaned forward. “But it will always be a part of who you are. Just like the kidnapping, imprisonment, and required subjugation will always be a part of Claire. The best that she can hope for is to try to forget and move on. Tell me if you can—well, I guess you can since you have the means—would you ever consider moving to Yankton? I mean, it’s a great community.”
“Hell no.”
“Why?” Jim asked.
“Do you need to ask?”
“Will it be easier to put this prison camp behind you in Iowa than if you lived here?”
Red tried to infiltrate Tony’s thoughts. “I get it. I get what you’re saying. But not only am I talking about Claire, I’m talking about Nichol too. I can’t imagine not knowing where they are. I don’t know what I’d do.”
“You’d do what most people do: you’d get joint custody. You’d live your life and let her live hers. You’re building this grand new home with the help of your friends and yet, you’re not considering that Claire, if she gets better, may never want to live there. She may finally realize that she wants as far away from Iowa as you want away from here.”
