“It’s not a fact I run around advertising, babe.”
“So, she screwed you over, huh?”
“In all senses of that word.”
“What do you mean?”
My chest was heavy with the anger I’d never resolved where Gabriella was concerned. “She fucked around on me. I found out and we agreed to work on it but then I found out she kept that shit up. And then she screwed our family right over.”
Fuck.
My heart was pumping hard and fast in my chest. I stood up and began pacing the room, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down.
“Are you okay?” Madison came up behind me and placed her hand on my back.
It never failed to amaze me what the human touch was capable of. Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it loved. Madison’s gentle touch was loving and it was exactly what I needed right now. It helped quiet the demons and after a couple of minutes, I had my breathing under control.
I turned to face her. “A man’s lucky to have a woman like you in his life, sweet thing.”
“I’m always here for you, Nash. It hurts me to see you like this; I wish you would let me help you more.”
I pulled her close. “You are helping me, babe. More than you know.” I let her go so I could look her in the eyes. “I’ve never really talked to anyone about this shit. I know I need to but I’ve gotta get my head ready first.”
“I understand. Just remember that I’m always here whenever you need to talk.”
“Thanks, darlin’.”
The air was thick with the burden of ghosts. This was why I hated digging up shit from the past. We both took a moment to deal with it.
Eventually, Madison smiled at me before asking, “So, what are you going to do about Velvet?”
“I don’t know what to do with that,” I admitted.
“Okay, let’s break it down. You slept together but then you pulled away and were a bastard to her, right?”
“Yeah.” My guilt over that was tremendous but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to apologise. Being near her made me want her even more.
“You pulled away because you’re scared of your feelings for her, right?”
“Fuck, you make me sound like a pussy, Madison.”
“Well, let’s call a spade a spade, Nash. You men can be real dickheads when you feel something for a woman. And you’re being one of the biggest dickheads around at the moment.”
“Christ, if I wanted to hear this shit, I would have gone to my sisters, babe.”
“Sorry but you do need to hear this shit. For the first time in a long time, you’re feeling something and I think it could be good for you. You hide your pain behind that mask you wear, Nash. I know, because I used to do it too. Sex helps numb it but it’ll never go away until you deal with it, and I think your soul is ready to deal with whatever pain has been crippling it for all these years.”
She was right; I knew she was, but I didn’t want to admit it. Shit, life was a lot easier to deal with when you ignored the pain and fucked it all away. Problem was, and she was spot on here, the pain always came back.
“I want her, like I’ve never wanted anyone.”
Smiling, she said, “Good, we’re getting somewhere. So, are you willing to open yourself up to it?”
“Can’t it just be sex?”
“I swear, it’s like pulling teeth with you, Nash. No, I don’t think it can be. If it could, you two would already be doing that.”
She had a point. “Shit,” I muttered.
“Let me ask you something. How many women have you slept with since you and Velvet hooked up?”
Fuck, reckoning day was here. “None.”
A huge smile landed on her face. “You’ve got it bad, Nash Walker, and you don’t even know it. You need to get your shit together, apologise to her and man the fuck up, dude.”
I scowled at her. “I’m hearing you, babe. I’m fuckin’ hearing you.”
Chapter 14
Who You Love ~ John Mayer & Katy Perry
––––––––
Velvet
“God damn it!” I yelled into the air around me. People stared at me but I could care less; it felt good to get it out. My car had just broken down on Brunswick Street of all bloody streets. Breaking down in Monday morning traffic on a busy road was like a special kind of hell as far as I was concerned. Drivers were honking at me and yelling abuse.
“Screw you asshole,” I yelled at one guy, “Not sure what the hell you think I can do about it?” I extended my middle finger at him to make sure he got my message.
The fact my phone was out of battery didn’t help. I would have to walk to find a payphone.
Shit, what a way to start the day. I reached into the car for my bag, and was searching in it for my purse when I heard the rumble of a bike. Looking up, I squinted my eyes to see Nash pulling up behind me. My heart began beating faster and my skin tingled at the sight of him. He still managed to affect me even after treating me like he had.
He left his bike and walked to me; his face was unreadable, not pleased but not annoyed. “Need a hand?” he asked.
Feeling slightly flustered in his presence, I replied, “No, it’s good. I’m just going to call for help. You keep going; I’m sure you’re busy.”
He frowned, and ignored what I’d said. Lifting his chin at my car, he asked, “What’s wrong with it?”
“So, she screwed you over, huh?”
“In all senses of that word.”
“What do you mean?”
My chest was heavy with the anger I’d never resolved where Gabriella was concerned. “She fucked around on me. I found out and we agreed to work on it but then I found out she kept that shit up. And then she screwed our family right over.”
Fuck.
My heart was pumping hard and fast in my chest. I stood up and began pacing the room, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself down.
“Are you okay?” Madison came up behind me and placed her hand on my back.
It never failed to amaze me what the human touch was capable of. Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it loved. Madison’s gentle touch was loving and it was exactly what I needed right now. It helped quiet the demons and after a couple of minutes, I had my breathing under control.
I turned to face her. “A man’s lucky to have a woman like you in his life, sweet thing.”
“I’m always here for you, Nash. It hurts me to see you like this; I wish you would let me help you more.”
I pulled her close. “You are helping me, babe. More than you know.” I let her go so I could look her in the eyes. “I’ve never really talked to anyone about this shit. I know I need to but I’ve gotta get my head ready first.”
“I understand. Just remember that I’m always here whenever you need to talk.”
“Thanks, darlin’.”
The air was thick with the burden of ghosts. This was why I hated digging up shit from the past. We both took a moment to deal with it.
Eventually, Madison smiled at me before asking, “So, what are you going to do about Velvet?”
“I don’t know what to do with that,” I admitted.
“Okay, let’s break it down. You slept together but then you pulled away and were a bastard to her, right?”
“Yeah.” My guilt over that was tremendous but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to apologise. Being near her made me want her even more.
“You pulled away because you’re scared of your feelings for her, right?”
“Fuck, you make me sound like a pussy, Madison.”
“Well, let’s call a spade a spade, Nash. You men can be real dickheads when you feel something for a woman. And you’re being one of the biggest dickheads around at the moment.”
“Christ, if I wanted to hear this shit, I would have gone to my sisters, babe.”
“Sorry but you do need to hear this shit. For the first time in a long time, you’re feeling something and I think it could be good for you. You hide your pain behind that mask you wear, Nash. I know, because I used to do it too. Sex helps numb it but it’ll never go away until you deal with it, and I think your soul is ready to deal with whatever pain has been crippling it for all these years.”
She was right; I knew she was, but I didn’t want to admit it. Shit, life was a lot easier to deal with when you ignored the pain and fucked it all away. Problem was, and she was spot on here, the pain always came back.
“I want her, like I’ve never wanted anyone.”
Smiling, she said, “Good, we’re getting somewhere. So, are you willing to open yourself up to it?”
“Can’t it just be sex?”
“I swear, it’s like pulling teeth with you, Nash. No, I don’t think it can be. If it could, you two would already be doing that.”
She had a point. “Shit,” I muttered.
“Let me ask you something. How many women have you slept with since you and Velvet hooked up?”
Fuck, reckoning day was here. “None.”
A huge smile landed on her face. “You’ve got it bad, Nash Walker, and you don’t even know it. You need to get your shit together, apologise to her and man the fuck up, dude.”
I scowled at her. “I’m hearing you, babe. I’m fuckin’ hearing you.”
Chapter 14
Who You Love ~ John Mayer & Katy Perry
––––––––
Velvet
“God damn it!” I yelled into the air around me. People stared at me but I could care less; it felt good to get it out. My car had just broken down on Brunswick Street of all bloody streets. Breaking down in Monday morning traffic on a busy road was like a special kind of hell as far as I was concerned. Drivers were honking at me and yelling abuse.
“Screw you asshole,” I yelled at one guy, “Not sure what the hell you think I can do about it?” I extended my middle finger at him to make sure he got my message.
The fact my phone was out of battery didn’t help. I would have to walk to find a payphone.
Shit, what a way to start the day. I reached into the car for my bag, and was searching in it for my purse when I heard the rumble of a bike. Looking up, I squinted my eyes to see Nash pulling up behind me. My heart began beating faster and my skin tingled at the sight of him. He still managed to affect me even after treating me like he had.
He left his bike and walked to me; his face was unreadable, not pleased but not annoyed. “Need a hand?” he asked.
Feeling slightly flustered in his presence, I replied, “No, it’s good. I’m just going to call for help. You keep going; I’m sure you’re busy.”
He frowned, and ignored what I’d said. Lifting his chin at my car, he asked, “What’s wrong with it?”
