My heart was already hurting for his loss, but now it constricted in pain at the guilt he’d been carrying with him. Ten years was a long time to blame yourself for something that, ultimately, was out of your hands. I wiped the tears from his face, and said, “Yes, everything you did led you all to that day, but it wasn’t your choice for Gabriella to take your son, and it wasn’t your driving that was involved in that accident. You can’t blame yourself for the actions of other people.”
He was listening to everything I said, but I wasn’t sure if it was getting through so I tried another tack. “Nash, think about your mother, and your family. You guys had it hard, really fucking hard, because your father left. He walked out and left your mother pregnant, and with no money or support. He also left three other kids behind for her to raise on her own. It was a long, hard road for her, and for all of you. His leaving caused your life to be changed forever. Was it your mother’s fault he left?”
“No!” He seemed incensed that I would even suggest that which was exactly what I was hoping for.
“No, it wasn’t. None of us have control over another person’s actions. We might think we do, but when all is said and done, people will do whatever the hell they choose to do. Regardless of the situation, and regardless of whatever events cause that situation, the only control we have is over ourselves. If you’d had your way, Aaron would never have been in that car that day, and he would still be alive.” I took a breath. My heart was racing; I needed him to hear me, and understand that what I was saying was right. “It’s time for you to stop laying the blame for this at your own feet, baby. Your guilt is eating you alive.”
He stilled, and I knew he’d heard me. Really heard me. I just hoped it was enough to get him through the first hurdle. He had a lot of work ahead of him to sort through his pain, but his first step was going to be letting go of his guilt.
His chest heaved one last time, and slowly, his breathing returned to normal. We were on our knees, still clinging to each other. He held on for a couple more moments before letting me go. “I miss him. Every day, I fuckin’ miss him.”
I nodded. “I know, baby.” I reached for his hand, and held it.
He looked down at our hands, and squeezed mine before looking back at me. “I need you, Velvet. I’ve never needed anyone like I need you. If I’m gonna get through this, you have to be by my side.”
I curled my hand around his neck, and pulled his lips to mine. The kiss I gave him wasn’t passionate or sexy; it was a kiss full of love that told him I’d be right where he needed me. Our lips gently tangled, and our souls joined; we would do this together. When we pulled apart, I promised him, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, Nash.”
His relief was evident, and he murmured, “Thank fuck.”
Chapter 29
Love’s Poster Child ~ Keith Urban
––––––––
Nash - 2 weeks later
I leant back in my chair, and laughed at the joke Carla had just told everyone. My arm was draped across the back of Velvet’s chair, and I moved it to her shoulders, and pulled her to me so I could plant a kiss on her forehead.
Surprise flickered across her face. “What was that for?”
“Because I can.”
Our eyes danced with each other, and I grew hard when I saw the desire in hers.
My brother broke the trance we were in. ‘Hey, do you two ever leave each other alone? Cause I’ve seen you three times in the last two weeks, and you’re always all over each other.”
I grinned at him. “Not if I can fuckin’ help it.”
He returned my grin. “Lucky fucker,” he muttered.
I looked around the table, and counted my fucking blessings. My family, and Velvet had all gathered to celebrate Carla’s birthday at Mum’s. Erika, Mum and Velvet had spent the afternoon cooking while Jamison and I had taken Carla skydiving. It was something she’d always wanted to do so we’d finally agreed to it. Jumping out of a plane wasn’t something on my bucket list, but I had to admit, it was pretty fucking exhilarating. It was maybe even something I would happily do again.
Mum started to clear the table, and Velvet hopped up straight away to help her. They exchanged smiles, and I thanked the universe for giving me two women as amazing as these two.
Carla started bouncing in her chair, clapping her hands together.
I jerked my chin at her. “What the hell’s got you so happy, babe?”
“It’s present time, Nash! What did you get me?”
I groaned. My sister was all about the presents; always had been. I pitied the poor fucker who ended up with her; if he didn’t get it right every birthday and Christmas, his life wouldn’t be worth living. “Settle down, darlin’. You’ll find out in a minute.”
Velvet looked at me and smiled; she’d helped me choose a present for Carla which meant this year, I was on a fucking winner. I’d have to milk this for everything it was worth; get as much out of Carla while she was still loving me for the present. I flicked a smile back at Velvet, and when she turned back to help Mum, I let my eyes drop to her ass. Christ, I really was a lucky fucker; Jamison was dead on the money.
Erika jumped in and helped clear the table while Jamison and I kept Carla occupied. When they’d finished, we all moved into the living room for present opening. Carla was almost bursting out of her skin in excitement.
“Bloody hell, Carla. Anyone would think you were still twelve, the way you’re going on,” Jamison grumbled.
He was listening to everything I said, but I wasn’t sure if it was getting through so I tried another tack. “Nash, think about your mother, and your family. You guys had it hard, really fucking hard, because your father left. He walked out and left your mother pregnant, and with no money or support. He also left three other kids behind for her to raise on her own. It was a long, hard road for her, and for all of you. His leaving caused your life to be changed forever. Was it your mother’s fault he left?”
“No!” He seemed incensed that I would even suggest that which was exactly what I was hoping for.
“No, it wasn’t. None of us have control over another person’s actions. We might think we do, but when all is said and done, people will do whatever the hell they choose to do. Regardless of the situation, and regardless of whatever events cause that situation, the only control we have is over ourselves. If you’d had your way, Aaron would never have been in that car that day, and he would still be alive.” I took a breath. My heart was racing; I needed him to hear me, and understand that what I was saying was right. “It’s time for you to stop laying the blame for this at your own feet, baby. Your guilt is eating you alive.”
He stilled, and I knew he’d heard me. Really heard me. I just hoped it was enough to get him through the first hurdle. He had a lot of work ahead of him to sort through his pain, but his first step was going to be letting go of his guilt.
His chest heaved one last time, and slowly, his breathing returned to normal. We were on our knees, still clinging to each other. He held on for a couple more moments before letting me go. “I miss him. Every day, I fuckin’ miss him.”
I nodded. “I know, baby.” I reached for his hand, and held it.
He looked down at our hands, and squeezed mine before looking back at me. “I need you, Velvet. I’ve never needed anyone like I need you. If I’m gonna get through this, you have to be by my side.”
I curled my hand around his neck, and pulled his lips to mine. The kiss I gave him wasn’t passionate or sexy; it was a kiss full of love that told him I’d be right where he needed me. Our lips gently tangled, and our souls joined; we would do this together. When we pulled apart, I promised him, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, Nash.”
His relief was evident, and he murmured, “Thank fuck.”
Chapter 29
Love’s Poster Child ~ Keith Urban
––––––––
Nash - 2 weeks later
I leant back in my chair, and laughed at the joke Carla had just told everyone. My arm was draped across the back of Velvet’s chair, and I moved it to her shoulders, and pulled her to me so I could plant a kiss on her forehead.
Surprise flickered across her face. “What was that for?”
“Because I can.”
Our eyes danced with each other, and I grew hard when I saw the desire in hers.
My brother broke the trance we were in. ‘Hey, do you two ever leave each other alone? Cause I’ve seen you three times in the last two weeks, and you’re always all over each other.”
I grinned at him. “Not if I can fuckin’ help it.”
He returned my grin. “Lucky fucker,” he muttered.
I looked around the table, and counted my fucking blessings. My family, and Velvet had all gathered to celebrate Carla’s birthday at Mum’s. Erika, Mum and Velvet had spent the afternoon cooking while Jamison and I had taken Carla skydiving. It was something she’d always wanted to do so we’d finally agreed to it. Jumping out of a plane wasn’t something on my bucket list, but I had to admit, it was pretty fucking exhilarating. It was maybe even something I would happily do again.
Mum started to clear the table, and Velvet hopped up straight away to help her. They exchanged smiles, and I thanked the universe for giving me two women as amazing as these two.
Carla started bouncing in her chair, clapping her hands together.
I jerked my chin at her. “What the hell’s got you so happy, babe?”
“It’s present time, Nash! What did you get me?”
I groaned. My sister was all about the presents; always had been. I pitied the poor fucker who ended up with her; if he didn’t get it right every birthday and Christmas, his life wouldn’t be worth living. “Settle down, darlin’. You’ll find out in a minute.”
Velvet looked at me and smiled; she’d helped me choose a present for Carla which meant this year, I was on a fucking winner. I’d have to milk this for everything it was worth; get as much out of Carla while she was still loving me for the present. I flicked a smile back at Velvet, and when she turned back to help Mum, I let my eyes drop to her ass. Christ, I really was a lucky fucker; Jamison was dead on the money.
Erika jumped in and helped clear the table while Jamison and I kept Carla occupied. When they’d finished, we all moved into the living room for present opening. Carla was almost bursting out of her skin in excitement.
“Bloody hell, Carla. Anyone would think you were still twelve, the way you’re going on,” Jamison grumbled.
