I need to be careful how I approach this. I don’t want to push her away by being too forward because I could end up losing her if I do.
And I really don’t want to lose her from my life.
The race is over. I’ve presented the trophy to the winner. Both Jett and India seem like they’ve had a good day. Well, I know Jett has. The kid is full of enthusiasm. Can’t stop talking about the karting as we walk back to the car.
“And Carter said I could come down anytime, Mum. Isn’t that awesome?”
“It’s great, sweetheart.”
“So, when can I come?”
“Well, we can sort something out between your Uncle Kit and me and arrange a day to come down.”
“Cool. I’m hungry. Can we grab something to eat?”
“You’re always hungry,” India teases him.
“I’m a growing man.”
“Boy…you’re still a boy. And you’ll always be a baby to me.” She wraps her arms around him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Mum! You’re ruining my street cred.”
“Sorry.” She grins, ruffling his hair.
“We can grab dinner on the way back, if you would like?” I’m expecting a look of horror from India, knowing that I am crossing that line of hers again, considering how much I have pushed things already today.
So, I’m totally taken by surprise when she says, “Sure. That’d be great.”
“Cool. I know this nice place I can take us.”
We climb back into the car.
Taking the front seat, Jett immediately takes control of the stereo.
I’ve never really spent time around kids, but I like Jett. He’s a cool kid.
And he likes racing, which makes conversations easy with him.
I’ve just clipped my seat belt in when India leans close and says, “You looked surprised when I said yes to dinner.”
She’s so close that I can smell the intoxicating scent of her perfume.
“I was surprised. I thought I might have been crossing your ethical line.” Lips pressed together, I lift my shoulder in a half shrug.
A light smile on her lips, she shifts back to her side of the car. “I’ve already crossed the line today. What’s a little further going to hurt?”
I’ll cross any line she wants me to. Cross it so far that the fucking line she adheres to will be invisible to her.
“It won’t hurt at all.” I smile to myself, looking out the window.
We end up stopping to eat at a country pub on the way back to London.
“Should we invite your driver to eat with us?” India asks.
The question makes me grin.
“He’s not my driver, India. I pay the company he works for to drive me when I need it. He hasn’t driven me before.”
“Thanks for the thorough explanation. But I still feel bad about us going to eat and leaving him out here.”
“So, ask him.” I chuckle.
I watch her round the car and go talk to the driver as I walk toward the pub with Jett.
“She has a thing for strays,” Jett says to me. “Something to do with her job I think.”
“The driver’s a stray?” I laugh.
“Nah, but she just can’t bear the thought of anyone ever feeling bad or being left out.”
“Not a bad trait to have,” I say to him.
He stares up at me. “Do you like my mum?”
“Do I like her?”
“Do you want to date her? Because if you do, I’d be totally cool with it—obviously.”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “It’s…complicated.”
“Because of Dan? They’re not serious, so no problem there.”
Yeah, there is Dan. But he’s just more of a minor irritant than a complication.
No, the complication is, she’s my therapist. And it’s not a problem for me, but it will be for India.
Stopping by the pub door, I look over at India, watching as she makes her way back to us.
“But you do like her?”
I look down at him. “Yeah…I do.”
“Cool ’cause I’m pretty sure she likes you, too.”
I don’t chance to question him further because India reaches us.
“He didn’t want to join us. He’s eaten already,” she tells us.
“Just the three of us then.” I pull open the door to the pub, allowing India and Jett through first.
The pub isn’t busy. Just a few locals by the looks of it. We grab a table by the window in the back. A waitress comes over, handing us some menus, and she takes our drink order.
“I’m just going to the ladies’ room,” India tells us.
I have to force myself not to watch her walk away. It’s harder than you’d think.
The waitress brings over our drinks.
Lemonade for me. I take a sip and then say to Jett, “So, Jett, you enjoyed karting?”
“Loved it. I mean, I’ve really enjoyed karting when I’ve been with my friends and Uncle Kit, but I never really thought about doing it beyond fun—you know, racing seriously like those lads were today.”
“Karting is where a lot of Formula One drivers start out,” I tell him.
“Is that where you started?” he asks me.
“No, I started in rally driving before moving on to Formula One. My dad was a rally champion.” I’m surprised at how easily I can talk with Jett. I’ve not had much experience around kids. But he does seem mature for his age. “Carrick Ryan started out karting.”
“I think I did know that. He was karting champion at one point, right?”
“Yes, he was. Look, if you’re interested in getting into karting a bit more, I can help. There’s Carter’s place where you can kart, but there are more local places around you as well. Carrick will know a lot, and I know he’d be happy to help.”
I haven’t asked him yet, but I know he would.
“I forgot you were friends with Carrick Ryan. Weren’t you guys, like, rivals once upon a time?” He leans forward with interest.
“We still are, to a degree.” I laugh. I think Carrick and I will always have rivalry, but now, it’s in good humor, whereas we were complete shits to each other before. “We’re good friends now though. Carrick and his wife, Andi, were around a lot after I had my accident. They didn’t have to be—we weren’t even friends then—and it showed me the type of people they were.”
“He seems cool.”
“He is. Just don’t tell him I said so. I’d never hear the end of it.”
Jett laughs before taking a drink of his Coke through the straw. “I think I do want to get involved in karting. Do a bit, and see if I’m any good.”
“Cool. Then, I’ll help. As long as your mom is okay with it.”
“She will be,” he says confidently. “So, your accident was pretty bad, huh? I was watching on TV when it happened. You died for a while, right?”
How is it that kids just have this way of asking questions that make them hurt less?
“It was bad, and yes, I died for a short while.”
“Must be weird, dying like that, and then being brought back to life,” he muses, chewing on his straw. “When you died, did you see a white light and stuff, like people say?”
And I really don’t want to lose her from my life.
The race is over. I’ve presented the trophy to the winner. Both Jett and India seem like they’ve had a good day. Well, I know Jett has. The kid is full of enthusiasm. Can’t stop talking about the karting as we walk back to the car.
“And Carter said I could come down anytime, Mum. Isn’t that awesome?”
“It’s great, sweetheart.”
“So, when can I come?”
“Well, we can sort something out between your Uncle Kit and me and arrange a day to come down.”
“Cool. I’m hungry. Can we grab something to eat?”
“You’re always hungry,” India teases him.
“I’m a growing man.”
“Boy…you’re still a boy. And you’ll always be a baby to me.” She wraps her arms around him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Mum! You’re ruining my street cred.”
“Sorry.” She grins, ruffling his hair.
“We can grab dinner on the way back, if you would like?” I’m expecting a look of horror from India, knowing that I am crossing that line of hers again, considering how much I have pushed things already today.
So, I’m totally taken by surprise when she says, “Sure. That’d be great.”
“Cool. I know this nice place I can take us.”
We climb back into the car.
Taking the front seat, Jett immediately takes control of the stereo.
I’ve never really spent time around kids, but I like Jett. He’s a cool kid.
And he likes racing, which makes conversations easy with him.
I’ve just clipped my seat belt in when India leans close and says, “You looked surprised when I said yes to dinner.”
She’s so close that I can smell the intoxicating scent of her perfume.
“I was surprised. I thought I might have been crossing your ethical line.” Lips pressed together, I lift my shoulder in a half shrug.
A light smile on her lips, she shifts back to her side of the car. “I’ve already crossed the line today. What’s a little further going to hurt?”
I’ll cross any line she wants me to. Cross it so far that the fucking line she adheres to will be invisible to her.
“It won’t hurt at all.” I smile to myself, looking out the window.
We end up stopping to eat at a country pub on the way back to London.
“Should we invite your driver to eat with us?” India asks.
The question makes me grin.
“He’s not my driver, India. I pay the company he works for to drive me when I need it. He hasn’t driven me before.”
“Thanks for the thorough explanation. But I still feel bad about us going to eat and leaving him out here.”
“So, ask him.” I chuckle.
I watch her round the car and go talk to the driver as I walk toward the pub with Jett.
“She has a thing for strays,” Jett says to me. “Something to do with her job I think.”
“The driver’s a stray?” I laugh.
“Nah, but she just can’t bear the thought of anyone ever feeling bad or being left out.”
“Not a bad trait to have,” I say to him.
He stares up at me. “Do you like my mum?”
“Do I like her?”
“Do you want to date her? Because if you do, I’d be totally cool with it—obviously.”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “It’s…complicated.”
“Because of Dan? They’re not serious, so no problem there.”
Yeah, there is Dan. But he’s just more of a minor irritant than a complication.
No, the complication is, she’s my therapist. And it’s not a problem for me, but it will be for India.
Stopping by the pub door, I look over at India, watching as she makes her way back to us.
“But you do like her?”
I look down at him. “Yeah…I do.”
“Cool ’cause I’m pretty sure she likes you, too.”
I don’t chance to question him further because India reaches us.
“He didn’t want to join us. He’s eaten already,” she tells us.
“Just the three of us then.” I pull open the door to the pub, allowing India and Jett through first.
The pub isn’t busy. Just a few locals by the looks of it. We grab a table by the window in the back. A waitress comes over, handing us some menus, and she takes our drink order.
“I’m just going to the ladies’ room,” India tells us.
I have to force myself not to watch her walk away. It’s harder than you’d think.
The waitress brings over our drinks.
Lemonade for me. I take a sip and then say to Jett, “So, Jett, you enjoyed karting?”
“Loved it. I mean, I’ve really enjoyed karting when I’ve been with my friends and Uncle Kit, but I never really thought about doing it beyond fun—you know, racing seriously like those lads were today.”
“Karting is where a lot of Formula One drivers start out,” I tell him.
“Is that where you started?” he asks me.
“No, I started in rally driving before moving on to Formula One. My dad was a rally champion.” I’m surprised at how easily I can talk with Jett. I’ve not had much experience around kids. But he does seem mature for his age. “Carrick Ryan started out karting.”
“I think I did know that. He was karting champion at one point, right?”
“Yes, he was. Look, if you’re interested in getting into karting a bit more, I can help. There’s Carter’s place where you can kart, but there are more local places around you as well. Carrick will know a lot, and I know he’d be happy to help.”
I haven’t asked him yet, but I know he would.
“I forgot you were friends with Carrick Ryan. Weren’t you guys, like, rivals once upon a time?” He leans forward with interest.
“We still are, to a degree.” I laugh. I think Carrick and I will always have rivalry, but now, it’s in good humor, whereas we were complete shits to each other before. “We’re good friends now though. Carrick and his wife, Andi, were around a lot after I had my accident. They didn’t have to be—we weren’t even friends then—and it showed me the type of people they were.”
“He seems cool.”
“He is. Just don’t tell him I said so. I’d never hear the end of it.”
Jett laughs before taking a drink of his Coke through the straw. “I think I do want to get involved in karting. Do a bit, and see if I’m any good.”
“Cool. Then, I’ll help. As long as your mom is okay with it.”
“She will be,” he says confidently. “So, your accident was pretty bad, huh? I was watching on TV when it happened. You died for a while, right?”
How is it that kids just have this way of asking questions that make them hurt less?
“It was bad, and yes, I died for a short while.”
“Must be weird, dying like that, and then being brought back to life,” he muses, chewing on his straw. “When you died, did you see a white light and stuff, like people say?”
